04-20-1999, 05:58 PM
Do any DO students out there have any children or know of any fellow students who do? I will be finishing up my undergraduate work soon and (assuming that I gain acceptance to osteopathic medical school) am wondering just what I'm up against. I'm very aware of the dedication and work ethic involved with success in med school. I am however a very motivated individual with a passion for osteopathic medicine and holistic medicine in general. A very real and personal experience in the birth of my daughter has motivated me to enter the field of medicine and make a difference. I do not live near an osteopathic medical college and therefore would have to relocate and as a result would not have any family around. My daughter is almost three--I would wait to attend school until she entered preschool. Is it realistic to think that I could raise a balanced child while also doing well in medical school? How about during residency? Any comments would be appreciated--and please be honest. Thanks.
04-21-1999, 10:05 AM
I think it's highly dependent on the support you receive from your significant other. Your S/O would definitely have to be willing to do much more than 50%. Are you a full-time student now? If you are, you have a general idea of what it will be like. Just multiply the stress level by a factor of at least 10. If you do not have a supportive S/O, it will be very difficult.
04-22-1999, 05:15 AM
Check-out the thread in the 'Everyone' section entitled "balancing family and school." I think that thread is exactly what you are seeking.
'Old Man Dave'
KCOM, Class of '03
04-22-1999, 06:26 PM
Yes, it definitely can be done, it just takes some adjustments. I have one child and many of my classmates have children too. You have to be willing to compromise in a few things and so does your spouse (and I am making a big assuption that you have a spouse - it can be done as a single mother too, from what I understand from some second year students at my school, although I imagine it is much harder).
For instance,I am not very active in school clubs because, the moment classes are through for the day, I run home. It came down to a choice between spending time in club activities and with my family and the clubs lost...
I am also not too concerned about my grades, as long as I pass the class and learn something out of it. I figured that the extra points would mean extra time away from my spouse and child and they didn't seem worth it to me. Like I said, you have to be willing to make some compromises. Unless you have a spouse who can spend 90% of his/her time with your child, you may have to let go of the ambition of being at the top of your med school class and settle for a comfy middle of the pack position.
In general, I think that the fathers in the class are better at spending more time on school stuff than the moms. It is probably part of the different demands that small children put on moms and dads, and the way moms also view their role in the family.I think in our society, as a rule, fathers spend a lot less time with their children, so there is no difference between a father who holds a demanding full time job and one who goes to med school.At least, that has been the impression I got from my classmates. You need to be married to an exceptional man, otherwise, one who doesn't mind taking care of the house AND kids.
Particularly during the first few months of school, I felt I was severely "short changing" my son. Everytime he wanted me to do something with him, I was locked up in my room studying. Later I learned to pace myself and how much I needed to study, so my life has some more balance now.
We made the situation harder for ourselves because neither of us believed in putting our son in daycare at an early age. He is just turning 3 and we have decided that now it is a good time for him to be with other kids, so he will be in daycare the next school year and we may have more time to be a couple too.
It is much harder than being single and childless but many people have done it AND kept their families intact in the process.
04-23-1999, 08:39 AM
I am also a mother with a young child (my daughter is 11 months old) and have recently had the desire to go to medical school. I have thought about the same issues that you have, having enough time with my daughter, placing a lot of responsibility on my spouse, relocating, etc. One of my main concerns is not only spending time with her while I am in medical school but also spending quality time with her while I am in a residency (3-5 years)and then also while I am in practice (which is pretty much the rest of my life). I would definitely get into a specialty that is less demanding with fewer on-call hours. I only seriously thought about becoming a physician after my daughter was born. She showed me that I had an inner strength that could carry me through the stressful times even when I thought I could not go any farther. The only reason I never seriously thought about going to medical school before is because I thought there would be no way I could stand to get so little sleep but after getting practically no sleep for 4 months and still getting up every day and working I realized that the body (as sleep deprived as it is) finds a way to function. Anyway, I think that anyone can manage having a family and going to medical school as long as you balance your time between the two.
Also, I felt guilty about putting my daughter in daycare but she is a very social child and loves to be around other babies so I know that is where she needs to be.
Good luck with medical school.
05-03-1999, 10:23 AM
Dear UHS 2002-
Can you e.mail me at email@example.com I will be at UHS this year and would love to ask you more questions.