Need some serious help. What symptoms can i present (fake) in order to receive an excused absence. I hate to be doing this but its a necessity so please only serious replies :)

Acute Orchalgia w/ Cyanosis secondary to Pelvic Congestion, that is assuming you are male...

Nausea and the dry heaves consistent with some type of 24 hour stomach virus might work. :)

priapism

assuming you are a male...



though kind of hard to fake.

Car accident.

Although, this might be bad for your karma (or your car-ma).

Might not want to tempt fate, on second thought.

(Did you really expect serious replies??)

Need some serious help. What symptoms can i present (fake) in order to receive an excused absence. I hate to be doing this but its a necessity so please only serious replies :)

Craniorectal impaction. Best part of all, you won't be lying. ;)

If you're a guy, diarrhea - be willing to go into detail.

If you're a woman, "female problems"/your period/cramps - if the boss is a guy, he WON'T want to know, and if she's a woman, she'll know what you're talking about.

Or, as the wise poster above me said, the ever viable "craniorectal impaction".

diarrhea works, guy or girl.. It only buys you one day though. you can always blame it on seafood or packaged cafe food. You can sqeeze another day out by stating that you have a doctor's appt scheduled for the following morning, and saying that you had trouble sleeping. The key is keeping the problem acute by calling around 9, 9:30am daily. Then go in the following day stating how you started to feel better around 11-12 the next day.