When asked to thumbprint his MCAT admission ticket, Chuck Norris requested 6 cinder blocks to be placed on the table above the ticket. The only reason he asked for this was so he could dramatically break all of the blocks as he was thumbprinting. A little convoluted, but hey, he's Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can perform electrophilic addition on a benzene ring.

Chuck Norris named a catalyst after himself. It does not form an intermediate. Intermediates are for wusses.

Chuck Norris cares about the writing sample.

Chuck Norris got his Kaplan Full-Lengths graded in less than 5 days.

:laugh:

An MCAT proctor informed Chuck Norris he had to put his belongings in the front of the room. Chuck Norris punched the guy in the face, and then bubbled in the answers with his blood. The machine still read the answers.

Jack Bauer can make a galvanic cell with a negative total voltage.

Jack Bauer takes the MCAT on monday.

Jack Bauer only needs one sperm. It doesn't go through Meiosis II. Jack Bauer does nothing twice.

Jack Bauer asked his proctor where the nerve gas was. Not that there was any nerve gas missing.

Chuck Norris is unaffected by the force due to gravity. Gravity feels a 9.81 m/s/s force due to Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't sketch arrow-pushing mechanisms; he roundhouse kicks them into any molecule he thinks isn't a big sissy.

Chuck Norris can change Hydrofluoric acid into a weak base.

Chuck Norris looks into the electron cloud and sees little bunnies. Then he roundhouse kicks them. Electron density his ass.

Chuck Norris finished steps I, II and III of the USMLE during the MCAT lunch break. He finished rounds on all of his patients while you were taking the writing sample.

Chuck Norris can make clay sculptures of every enzyme binding site known to man. With his left pinky only.

When Chuck Norris's lab TA asked him to define what a limiting reagent was, he broke both of the TAs knees, tied his arms into a pretzel, and told him that yes, it would be pretty limiting to perform an experiment like that.

Duplicate post. Stupid slow server.

An MCAT proctor informed Chuck Norris he had to put his belongings in the front of the room. Chuck Norris punched the guy in the face, and then bubbled in the answers with his blood. The machine still read the answers.

Umm, wait, yep...you just copied one of my Chuck Norris quotes from 6 days ago.

Chuck Norris can tell u the exact postion and momentum of an electron with 110% probability.

Jack Bauer uses #1 pencils on standardized tests.... Jack Bauer doesn't associate with anything that is #2.

When Google can't find something, it asks Jack Bauer for help.

If everyone on "24" followed Jack Bauer's instructions, it would be called "12".

Jack Bauer can pair electrons before all orbitals are singly filled.

Jack Bauer uses #1 pencils on standardized tests.... Jack Bauer doesn't associate with anything that is #2.

When Google can't find something, it asks Jack Bauer for help.

If everyone on "24" followed Jack Bauer's instructions, it would be called "12".

Jack Bauer uses #1 pencils on standardized tests.... Jack Bauer doesn't associate with anything that is #2.

that one is freaking classic. I love the right hand rule one too. I was bustin' up
hahahahahaahahahaha.

Umm, wait, yep...you just copied one of my Chuck Norris quotes from 6 days ago.

my apologies for not paying attention to your thread from 6 days ago... yawn.

Chuck Norris makes 160 ATPs during metabolism

Chuck Norris's polar bodies don't die.

oK, I admit that was lame, but it's 2 days before the MCAT and I am in a state of panic.

Chuck Norris got a 52X when he took the MCAT... That low because he hadn't slept in seven weeks..

Chuck Norris uses a blue pen for the Writing Sample.

Chuck Norris once crossed the Mendelian green wrinkled pea plant with the Darwinian finch Rizopizius laviesus

Chuck Norris's DNA doesn't have introns.

HILARIOUSS! :D :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

HILARIOUSS! :D :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Chuck Norris ionizes all noble gases.

Chuck Norris does not dehydrate with deficient ADH and Aldosterone production.

Chuck Norris makes 160 ATPs during metabolism
Ahahahaha

Chuck Norris uses a blue pen for the Writing Sample.



ahaha I like this one

Jack Bauer's glomerulus DOES filter proteins and RBC's as well as Terrorists who are interrogated in the proximal convuluted tubule.

Jack Bauer's cells are all totipotent...

Jack Bauer only needs one sperm. It doesn't go through Meiosis II. Jack Bauer does nothing twice.




Best one in my opinion

Kind of lame, but Chuck Norris (or whoever this dude is) knows what all the field test questions are and skips them on purpose.

Chuck Norris beat up the proctor at lunchtime. Then he aced the bio section.

When Chuck Norris ordered his practice MCAT he didn't ask for a version, he asked for 15, 15, 15.

Chuck Norris wrote the physical and verbal on saturday, and the written and bio on sunday.

Chuck Norris doesn't do any of the independent questions, because Chuck Norris is not independent.

Chuck Norris doesn't believe in the Heisenberg uncertainty principle, because he is certain about everything.

Chuck Norris skips VR, becuase he can't reason with anything.

Chuck Norris writes both prompts in 30 minutes.

Newtons Law of Universal Gravitation doesn't apply to Chuck Norris, since he doesn't exert pull on any object. He exerts a push.

Chuck Norris can't differentiate between speed and velocity.

Chuck Norris CAN dissolve hydrophilic and hydrophobic substances in each other, he doesn't even care what you think.

An increase in entropy is favoured because Chuck Norris roundhouses anything ordered into a million freakin' pieces

The Cretaceous-Tertiary extinction is thought to have occured because Chuck Norris collided with the Earth

When light enters Chuck Norris' eyes, it speeds up by 7 million trillion times. Chuck doesn't like to wait for stimulus if he doesn't have to.

On the MCATs Chuck Norris doesn't use POE, the 3 incorrect answers surrender the correct one in exchange for their lives

Chuck Norris eats "Salty the Cracker" for breakfast.

The endosymbiotic theory is false. Prokaryotes only integrated inside each other because they were hiding from the wrath Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can perform free radical halogenation using only his eyes.

Chuck Norris can force Oxidations to occur at the Cathode.

Avagadro's Number, 6.022 x 10^23, is actually the number of women Chuck Norris can impregnate with ONE sperm.

While we're on the topic of sperm, the Big Bang occurred when Chuck Norris...nevermind.

Chuck Norris doesn't read MCAT Prep books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.

Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch to the MCAT, HE decides when time is up.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

Chuck Norris has an entropy of zero: he's that cool.

Chuck Norris invented non-linear differential equations as something to do while the kettle was boiling

Come on people. Lets not just copy paste, rather come up with original ones.

Chuck Norris doesn't bother with the photoelectric effect. Electrons eject themselves in fear.

When Chuck Norris wants to view an old thread on SDN the thread bumps itself.

Come on people. Lets not just copy paste, rather come up with original ones.

As the originator of the thread, I agree.

Chuck Norris wrote the MCAT on top of the CN tower in Toronto, Chuck refuses to write in any building not named after him.

Chuck Norris doesn't do MCATS. He roundhouse kicks them in the face.

Chuck Norris doesn't do MCATS. He roundhouse kicks them in the face.

A refined version of my earlier contribution (and some even better ones!)

Chuck Norris can ionize any noble gas with his roundhouse.

The Strong Nuclear force is not the strongest force in the universe, the Chuck Norris force is.

When Chuck Norris karate chops a bar magnet, the magnet breaks into two MONOPOLES!

Chuck Norris can stare a pair of electrons down so that they occupy the same orbital with the SAME spin!

Chuck Norris' amylase can break down beta 1,4 glycosidic linkages.

Chuck Norris can fire action potentials during the absolute refractory period.

Chuck Norris can do it with a woman who is homozygous for an X-linked disease and produce sons who are normal because Chuck's Y chromosome can mask all x-linked disease genes.

Chuck Norris's cells did not arise from pre-existing cells.

:)

I'm a total nerd!

Newton's 2nd Law is not F=ma - it's: Force of Chuck's Punch = a (mass is irrelevant because Chuck's punch does not feel any "resistance to change" by an object - all objects of all masses move with the same acceleration after feeling Chuck's force).

Newton's Third law is foreign to Chuck Norris, b/c no objects can EVER exert the same force as Chuck Norris.

When you hear that girl who's always crying at the end of the MCAT, she didn't bomb her test--Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked her mom in the face.

Chuck Norris doesn't fill out scantron sheets. He goes down to the AAMC offices and roundhouse kicks his answers into the computers.

By the time you've opened your exam booklet, Chuck Norris has already gotten laid. twice.

Jesus once made a burrito so hot, even He couldn't eat it.



Then Chuck Norris did.

Chuck Norris's cells did not arise from pre-existing cells.
my favorite

Chuck Norris does not drink gatorade.

Chuck Norris does not drink gatorade.

Chuck Norris tells the proctor when to start and stop time.

Chuck Norris doesn't have finger prints.

Chuck Norris is ready to start his own test prep company. This might be the best test prep company option for MCAT noobs/retakers since he has eye photographed every MCAT that has ever happened and now has all the actual past AAMC tests put together..