View Full Version : Long Distance Relationships!
12-12-2001, 03:13 PM
Too all of you people who write on here about your long distance relationships with our med school students, or if we are med students ourselves. I have been currently dateing my girlfriend for over a year now. We met here in Illinois over three years ago and just began dateing her over a year ago. I knew in the future she would be going to med school but we were both hoping she would get into an Illinois school. Of course, she didn't. She was accepted to a school 5 hours away. I was very very sad by this! I wanted to move to where ever she was going to go to school but she thought it would be better for me to stay home since I had just graduated college myself and was offeded a job here in Illinois. I completely agreed but my heart wanted so badly to move with her. We figured out with my new job and her med school career we would see each other at least once a month. Kind of hard to deal with once a month when you were used to seeing each other every day. In the beginning I was sad and felt alone but I knew she needed to do her thing and me mine. I read many books on long distance relationships and cried and cried and cried! But to my amazment, we see each other almost every weekend!! Either I drive out there or she will drive here! I know it can be tough at times trying to see each other but I know if we can make it work so can many of you! Just keep in mind that each of you need seperate lives and understand that a med student has many many responsibilities and if they can't be with you all the time, always remember............THEY ARE THINKING ABOUT YOU~~!!!!
These are just some words of encouragement for those out there who are dating or married to a med student who lives far away. I hope they can help some of you! Please respond if you feel like it or either that let me hear some positive long distance messages! I sometimes can use a smile too! (Inside Note: sometimes I still cry because I miss her)
12-12-2001, 03:22 PM
hey good luck :)
I'm in an LDR also, and it sucks not being able to see each other. One hand though, we both have such busy lives right now, its good so we can focus on school/work, but we hope to plan to be together soon...
One positive things comes out of this...you learn to communicate better and let go of little things that bother you because of the limited time together. :)
12-12-2001, 04:29 PM
I have been in a long distance relationship for almost 3 years now. From this time, we have realized that communication and truth are the main issues. As mentioned in an earlier post, it helped us to tolerate each others little pet peeves better since we only saw each once or twice a month.
But now we are getting in March and I wonder after almost 3 years of living apart, how will it be living together? But I figure if we survived nearly 3 years of a long distance relationship, we must be meant for each other.
12-12-2001, 05:33 PM
I would invest in a webcam/pc cam...they're relatively cheap ($30-$40)...my boyfriend and I try to send each other pictures when we have little moments of free time...it sounds corny but it works well...not around finals time though...there just aren't enough hours in the day!
12-12-2001, 06:50 PM
I'm been in a LDR for ~2.5 years. Basically, if you truely love each other and really want it to work, it will. :D
To the OP... don't get discouraged if seeing each other every weekend turns into seeing each other every month. I see my bf about once a month... and once we went almost 4 months with out seeing each other.
Just hang in there :)
cdfann: If you've gone 3 years in a LDR it would be a terrible shame to loose it all now. Don't worry about living together... it may take some getting used to... but after what you've been through all ready... it will be easy. :)
12-13-2001, 07:19 AM
I think most relationships prior marriage can benefit from a period of absence. Bottom line: if the absence does not make your heart grow fonder, maybe there is some good reason why...?
12-13-2001, 11:09 AM
If its meant to be, it will be. If it wasn't meant to be, it won't be!-Occam's Razor of LDRs-..I hope I spelled that correctly. But seriously if its a strong relationship it will last. Just be honest with each other.
12-18-2001, 10:12 PM
Sometimes, being away from the other person during medical school can benefit you both. The medical student is alone and has time to study without distractions. I am not saying that the other person is a distraction, but I am sure medical students know what I mean.
In addition, the other person (non medical student) has time to pursue his/her interests. This is highly recommended - that the non medical student keep himself/herself busy with activities that are of interest to him/her. Otherwise, he/she has more time alone and tends to think about the situation too much and unnecessarily worry.
It can be done...you must decide BEFORE you begin medical school about the status of your relationship and how both of you should concentrate on his/her own interests for the time being.
Time flies by faster than you think. The absence can be good and make the relationship stronger.
12-19-2001, 09:56 AM
IM the med student part of an LDR - I met my fiance over one summer when I was taking classes near my parent's home - he was finishing his engineering degree and we ended up in the same chemistry class. Unfortunately, that was in Texas, and I was in school in New York (upstate, not the City) at the time. We survived 3 years of 1700 mile long distance. It sucked. We REALLY had to learn to communicate very well and we lwearned to maek the most of the time we have together. Now, Im only 5 hours (~300 miles) away - and honestly, closer is nicer b/c we can visit each other ~every other weekend, but its also harder, emotionally. We are getting married in June, and I really really look forward to *finally* living in the same place. We've done it short term (2 weeks or so), but not longer than that. IT can, indeed work!