Hello Everyone,

I am the first in my family to go to college, and I am working on my bachelor's with the goal of applying to medical school. When I discuss my goals and my interest in becoming a doctor with my family they are not very supportive. I get the feeling that they don't think that I am capable, and it gets frustrating not having any support. Especially, on those days when you just need an extra boost. If anyone has been in this similar situation, and how you kept positive through this long journey. I would really appreciate your words! Thank you.

I went through this with my parents. They told me to stay in business-side of things if I wanted to become a doctor. The answer was always, just do hospital administration. Eventually once my parents saw my determination they backed down. I think some people don't realize how long the road really is and how easily discouraged we get sometimes. I've had to put my medical school dreams on hold for my husband but that was my choice for his career at the moment. My parents have figured out I'm going to do what I want to do, damn the consequences. Its my life and I have to live it as I see fit. Maybe they don't realize how much you know about the process and what you want to accomplish. Educating them really is what brought my parents around (they didn't even know what a DO was).

My parents were fairly supportive of my decision to go into medicine (though I'm not in it yet, I'll be applying next spring), however they did balk when I said I wanted to do military medicine.

My mom's warming up to it (two of her best friends from college went into the Air Force), though my dad's still a little iffy about it.

My mom was especially un supportive of me when I told her my doctor dreams. She had this preconcieved notion of the qualities good doctors have and what it means to work in medicine. The more I talked to her about it though, the more she came around.

It was really annoying at first, so I mixed equal parts talkiing to her about it and ignoring her entirely!

I keep getting from my fiance's family that they don't understand why I am going to all these years of school when he can support me. My future mother-in-law also made a crack one time that she does't understand, because I am going to be a stay-at-home mom when I have kids. I laughed, becuase that is the furthest thing from what I want. I guess it is coming from the fact that none of them went to school and they where stay-at-home moms.
To add insult to injury, my mother also doesn't approve of the career path I am taking. But after much thinking I have determined that it is because I am doing it without the help of her and that all goes back to my mother and I's very awkard relationship.

No one can really understand how much heart and effort you are putting into this but you. No one knows the sacrifices. Very, very few people are willing to make the effort or sacrifices. I can image that your ambition would be difficult to explain, especially since it's such a vaunted one in our society.

I find that when I strive to do things that are out-of-the ordinary or are considered "difficult", it annoys some of my friends and family since my efforts expose to them how little they are doing with their own lives. They begin to offer their negative thoughts, disguised as words of wisdom "Well, you know med school costs a lot and you won't have a life." "Wouldn't you rather relax and enjoy your life and not worry about working all the time?" "Just try to be happy with your life the way it is since it all goes by so fast". "You know, doctors are snobby j*rks, the nurses are the ones who really do the work".

You can't let the negativity slow you down. You shouldn't waste your time over it. Keep at your goal, take care of yourself and surround yourself with supportive people or tasks.

Gather, round, it's a long tale, if you are interested.

My father is a PhD in Physics. My mother is an RN. My sister is a board-certified EM doc, married to an eye surgeon.

After conquering a paralyzing phobia of flying thorough a great class at Kaiser Hospital in Vallejo, CA about 5 years ago, I was asked by the doctor who created the program to co-facilitate the class. It's called Phobease.

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/chronicle/archive/2001/12/30/CM99668.DTL

A reporter from the SF Chronicle came to do a story on this class that has been in session for 18 years. The class averages about 70 people per ten-week class at $100 a class. Not bad, considering it's a two hour class for ten weeks. That's 5 bucks an hour. You can't even learn to play guitar for that amount of money.

I'm the one in the Catholic School Girl costume. That day we were asked to dress up as something that was embarrassing and talk to the class about why it was embarrassing for us.

For the first hour of each class, I lead the small group of people with social anxiety. After a year of co-facilitating the adult class and the children's class, I became certified to teach this class on my own. Mind you, this is NOT therapy and does not claim to be. It is simply a class that teaches CBT techniques and desensitization hierarchy techniques to those that are looking to conquer their phobias.

I became passionate about psychology.

Everyone in my family thought I was nuts. At first, my immediate family equated psychology to voodoo or some such nonsense. They did not understand or recognize psychology as a science.

I had dozens of conversations with them as I took the prereq classes to get into a PsyD program. I did not have a BS in psychology, as my conquering fear came almost 6 years after graduation from college with an unrelated degree.

I patiently explained the difference between social work/psychology/MSW/LCSW/PsyD/Phd in Clinical Psych/PhD in Psych to my family over and over.. There can be a lot of overlap, so it was a learning experience for all of us.

After I had taken about 12 prereq classes in psych at an accredited commuter college, Northeastern in Chicago, I applied to several schools in northern CA, where the weather agreed with me. I ended up choosing an Argosy campus, not knowing that almost everyone in the field considers Argosy to be a diploma mill.

I excelled in my classes, but got into a serious car accident two days into finals for the first semester. I made it through finals and got all As. But I was physically and emotionally unable to continue at that time. I needed to go home to where my parents were to heal, physically and emotionally. I exhibited symptoms of PTSD from the accident.

In the time since then, I found SDN and learned about the poor reputation of Argosy programs. Very few fourth years receive APA accredited internships in their fourth years at Argosy campuses.

On SDN, those in their fields told me that there was very little respect for those who attended Argosy, a school that had a campus in every major city.

What a terrible wake up call. I knew that I needed to prepare much more rigorously for a PsyD program at a university.

I am now preparing for the GRE. I'm so glad I googled "Psyd forum" and found this great resource.

Argosy was easy to get into. Looking at more reputable schools, I know I must gain experience in research and volunteer experience. I must take this time to get such experience if I hope to get into a reputable school.

It is so hard to take time off and gain experience instead of going back to an Argosy campus. I know that I need an APA accredited internship, which an education at Argosy rarely provides the opportunity for.

I envy those who knew years ago what they wanted to do as a career as an undergrad and had the resources to choose a competitive and respected program.

After dozens of conversations, my whole family understands the education that I am trying to pursue.

Don't give up. Unbiased information about schools can be hard to come by. I have bought all the appropriate books. Do your research and have data to present to your family.

If they ultimately will not understand and support you, it is okay. They may never understand. It can be irrelevant if you decide that your opinion and knowledge trumps their fears and misconceptions.

You know whats right for you more than anyone else.

"Maddie"

My family is divided in their opinion. Some keep asking me why I would want to be a doctor if I could be a chemical engineer like one of my cousins (math and physics are big in my family). My mom is worried that I wouldn't have kids. But my dad has been really supportive b/c even if he doesn't understand why I want to do this or what is involved, he is just happy that I have something I passionately want to do and I am slowly but surely getting there.
Hang in there, mcneile.

I'm in the same boat as you. My grandmother (who raised me and got her GED and LPN at 50) and father (who dropped out of high school to work at a grocery store and has not been in my life) actually resent the fact that I am furthering my education and making something out of myself. So alot of us know what you are going through, hang in there, and you will be proud to have made it through. :o