yea...you're in a tough situation. The only way out is to have your program director approve you dropping out/swapping. They usually won't even think about this until a year down the line when they are able to replace you with another resident in the match (and they know you well enough to vouch for you when you try to get another spot).
You are either going to have to live apart for a year, or have her give up her job. You giving up your job is pretty much impossible unless you want to kiss your career goodbye.