Quote:
Originally Posted by Hoo\/er
Advice?
Die in a fire.
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I like this guy. If, like me, you're such an *****hole that you see pissing off fellow students as an end unto itself, here are 10 ways to do it--without being a gunner.
1. Tell as many people as possible that you don't know why you went to med school, since you hate people or at least don't care about them at all. Complain that you should have been an investment banker/lawyer/veterinarian/anything else.
2. Tell everyone that you only got in because of your numbers. Emphasize how incredibly easy it is to get a 4.0 in undergrad and a 35 on the MCAT.
3. Loudly and persistently state your desire to become a pharma company 'consultant' after medical school, and how you don't want to do a residency at all.
4. Better yet, say that after medical school, you want to go to law school so that you will have more expertise in suing doctors.
5. Barring options 3 and 4, pick something esoteric (my current favorites are forensic psychiatry and clinical pathology) to express your interest in and complain incessantly about how most things that you are learning will be useless to you in the future.
6. You will probably be forced to see standardized patients. Be sure to tell them that since you want to be a psychiatrist/be a pathologist/be a pharm company consultant/go to law school, you really don't care about the exam you're doing on them. Let them know that it's a big waste of time for you, for them, for everyone really. Make sure you loudly voice this complaint to the course director as well.
7. You will probably also be forced to do a clinic preceptorship at some point in the first 2 years. Make sure to always complain about being forced to see patients when you should be studying for path or pharm (or anatomy or phys if you're a 1st-year).
8. Whenever you do well on a test, be sure to express your complete amazement, since you of course didn't study at all! The test must have just been easy...
9. Whenever you do poorly on a test, be sure to make everyone aware of how incredibly useless you think the material covered is.
10. If anyone says they really want to do well in a course, be sure to always berate the person and talk about how useless that course is and how he/she's a fool for wasting so much time on it. Bonus points if you throw out there that you got a 95 in it even though you never studied, went to class, or had the slightest interest in the course.
ABOVE ALL: Never stop talking about how much you HATE people, DO NOT want to help them, and are ONLY in this for the money to finance your lavish lifestyle.
These tips worked for me--i'm one of the most villified members of my class.
