Having a girlfriend and being pre-med

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Originally Posted by DeterminedDoc

I'm 21 and I've never had a gf in my life. I've made several attempts over the years but have been plain unsuccessful. It used to make me really depressed and it still does make me feel like less of a man time to time when I see my other friends in healthy relationships.

For reasons I can't explain, women i like just don't like me. I've learned to accept that and have accepted that I will probably be the only guy (if I get in) in med school that's had no experience with women. Sad I know, but this year has taught me a very important lesson:

I have to learn to accept what I cannot have because that's just how my life is.

If you think you can be succesful with women and with school go ahead, youve got time to figure it out, and at least your not a 21 year old loser with no grades or women.

Eh, I'm older than you and have never had a bf. Such is life.

Wow, they're some sad pre-meds in this community. Not getting involved in a relationship because you're afraid your grades will drop? Damn...I can honestly say having a girlfriend has helped me academically.

Some life advice: live while you're young. Get girlfriends and have a good time, but find that balance and get good grades at the same time.

To the people that have yet to be in a relationship, go for that sh*t. What else do you have to lose? I've been denied a plenty, you just gotta keep moving.

And though I may have been denied "Plenty," I must say that my girlfriend has been there for me all along, encouraging me and supporting me all the way. I couldn't ask for a better partner to be by my side and if there's any chance that you could find a girl like mine, go for it because it's more than worth it.

Originally Posted by bonzodrummer

I'm only a freshman pre-med, but for what it's worth my advice is to never miss out on anything based on being in pre-med.

Whether you are pre-med, in med school, a resident, or an actual doctor, you will always be busy and always have to strike balances between your time. You can't sit around and let life pass you by because you need good grades...Besides, even if you are in a relationship, be a strong person and let the other person know that you can't devote all your time to them, and they should be understanding.

Oh, and about studying "lonely"? NEVER study with a girl...especially a girlfriend...

My 2 cents, at least.

Hold up... someone needs to explain the bolded part to me...

I think most of my study partners have been girls. More enjoyable that way. Just find out whether they have a boyfriend before you make an ass of yourself...

Originally Posted by dbeast

Hold up... someone needs to explain the bolded part to me...

Haha, I didn't mean it like that - I meant that I recommend to never study with a girl that you're romantically interested in for the sake of not being "lonely" while studying...

I understand that there are some of you guys who are mature and are able to study with your girlfriends and what not, but I have literally seen countless times in my very first quarter of college the following:

I go to the basement, study alone for 3 hours, my roommate studies chemistry with this girl he has a crush on. When I walk up 3 hours later, him and the girl are laying down in the dorm hallway, Big Sean playing, books everywhere, just socializing. He later came in the room and admitted that he got nothing done and had to therefore sit down later that night and re-study everything.

Personally, I always make my studying as efficient as possible - that way, I will actually get it done and then have the time to hang with girls, party, work out, etc. I prefer study with nobody but me, myself, and I unless the material would be easier to study as a group. But you should see the way some freshmen "study" with each other.

Originally Posted by bonzodrummer

Personally, I always make my studying as efficient as possible - that way, I will actually get it done and then have the time to hang with girls, party, work out, etc. I prefer study with nobody but me, myself, and I unless the material would be easier to study as a group. But you should see the way some freshmen "study" with each other.

likewise.

Originally Posted by DeterminedDoc

I'm 21 and I've never had a gf in my life. I've made several attempts over the years but have been plain unsuccessful. It used to make me really depressed and it still does make me feel like less of a man time to time when I see my other friends in healthy relationships.

For reasons I can't explain, women i like just don't like me. I've learned to accept that and have accepted that I will probably be the only guy (if I get in) in med school that's had no experience with women. Sad I know, but this year has taught me a very important lesson:

I have to learn to accept what I cannot have because that's just how my life is.

If you think you can be succesful with women and with school go ahead, youve got time to figure it out, and at least your not a 21 year old loser with no grades or women.

Firstly, cheese?

Secondly,

Originally Posted by bonzodrummer

Haha, I didn't mean it like that - I meant that I recommend to never study with a girl that you're romantically interested in for the sake of not being "lonely" while studying...

I understand that there are some of you guys who are mature and are able to study with your girlfriends and what not, but I have literally seen countless times in my very first quarter of college the following:

I go to the basement, study alone for 3 hours, my roommate studies chemistry with this girl he has a crush on. When I walk up 3 hours later, him and the girl are laying down in the dorm hallway, Big Sean playing, books everywhere, just socializing. He later came in the room and admitted that he got nothing done and had to therefore sit down later that night and re-study everything.

Personally, I always make my studying as efficient as possible - that way, I will actually get it done and then have the time to hang with girls, party, work out, etc. I prefer study with nobody but me, myself, and I unless the material would be easier to study as a group. But you should see the way some freshmen "study" with each other.

Bow chicka wow wow

I've only had a couple of relationships and I'm 21. Neither were longer than 2 months and I made the conscious decision to stay away from relationships for a while because my last one forced me to choose between having 2 of the following: time with her, time with friends, good grades. I've debated this decision many times, and I'm glad I made the one I did. It has allowed me to focus on academics, ECs, and building healthy and hopefully long-lasting relationships with my friends. Granted, I have 1 semester before applying to med school and I am now more than ready to re-enter the romantic scene. Unfortunately I've mostly forgotten how to get things rolling, but I guess trial and error's the only real option.

Originally Posted by DeterminedDoc

I'm 21 and I've never had a gf in my life. I've made several attempts over the years but have been plain unsuccessful. It used to make me really depressed and it still does make me feel like less of a man time to time when I see my other friends in healthy relationships.

For reasons I can't explain, women i like just don't like me. I've learned to accept that and have accepted that I will probably be the only guy (if I get in) in med school that's had no experience with women. Sad I know, but this year has taught me a very important lesson:

I have to learn to accept what I cannot have because that's just how my life is.

If you think you can be succesful with women and with school go ahead, youve got time to figure it out, and at least your not a 21 year old loser with no grades or women.

Not sure whether this makes you feel better, but I promise you won't be the only one...

In my personal experience, when I was with my ex-fiancee, I never got anything done. Then again, she was very clingy, so that had a lot to do with it. I can say that it's a lot easier getting better grades now that I'm single. I still date various girls every now and then too, so it's not that bad. You don't need a girlfriend in college, but taking girls out on dates, and, you know, doing other stuff when the date is over, isn't bad either

Originally Posted by bonzodrummer

Haha, I didn't mean it like that - I meant that I recommend to never study with a girl that you're romantically interested in for the sake of not being "lonely" while studying...

I understand that there are some of you guys who are mature and are able to study with your girlfriends and what not, but I have literally seen countless times in my very first quarter of college the following:

I go to the basement, study alone for 3 hours, my roommate studies chemistry with this girl he has a crush on. When I walk up 3 hours later, him and the girl are laying down in the dorm hallway, Big Sean playing, books everywhere, just socializing. He later came in the room and admitted that he got nothing done and had to therefore sit down later that night and re-study everything.

Personally, I always make my studying as efficient as possible - that way, I will actually get it done and then have the time to hang with girls, party, work out, etc. I prefer study with nobody but me, myself, and I unless the material would be easier to study as a group. But you should see the way some freshmen "study" with each other.

I always had more fun studying with the people, especially girls I had crushes on. When the ex and I studied together it was effortless. Well, outside of her getting mad at me when I understood something quicker than her. But overall, I always have enjoyed studying with my romantic interests. Granted, I always try studying in groups and having fun while still being productive. So maybe my learning style makes it easier to study with the romantic interests.

Originally Posted by dbeast

Hold up... someone needs to explain the bolded part to me...

Atleast for me, when I study with my girlfriend we end up distracting each other. Get more done alone.

Originally Posted by Desensitized

In my personal experience, when I was with my ex-fiancee, I never got anything done. Then again, she was very clingy, so that had a lot to do with it. I can say that it's a lot easier getting better grades now that I'm single. I still date various girls every now and then too, so it's not that bad. You don't need a girlfriend in college, but taking girls out on dates, and, you know, doing other stuff when the date is over, isn't bad either

My life throughout UG. I dated but never had anything serious going on. Not necessarily because of choice - things just worked out that way and I never felt like I was missing out on anything.

Originally Posted by StoicJosher

This. Wow. It's like the Bible for attracting women (according to amazon reviews, lol)

My buddy (blogger below) got his best grades when he was with his girlfriend. He was happier, and his life was more balanced and stable. It also kept him from getting drunk all the time while chasing other girls around.

Seriously... COME ON. DO NOT be THAT much of a premed. This is your life. Your whole life isn't being a premed. Your social life and happiness matter too. You cannot make ALL your decisions based on how it would affect getting into med school. That's nuts. Really nuts.

Originally Posted by ur2l8

This. Wow. It's like the Bible for attracting women (according to amazon reviews, lol)

I read it back when it was making waves all over the place. When I finished, I felt like I did after I saw Avatar. So much hype and hoopla and in the end, it was average. The entire lesson of the book was pretty intuitive - or maybe it was just a transformation of the obvious.

Take it with the grain of salt - especially the peacocking parts.

Originally Posted by idontcaureuknow

I always had more fun studying with the people, especially girls I had crushes on. When the ex and I studied together it was effortless. Well, outside of her getting mad at me when I understood something quicker than her. But overall, I always have enjoyed studying with my romantic interests. Granted, I always try studying in groups and having fun while still being productive. So maybe my learning style makes it easier to study with the romantic interests.

idontcareuknow, is that a poryphrin ring in your avatar?

Originally Posted by bonzodrummer

I'm only a freshman pre-med, but for what it's worth my advice is to never miss out on anything based on being in pre-med.

Whether you are pre-med, in med school, a resident, or an actual doctor, you will always be busy and always have to strike balances between your time. You can't sit around and let life pass you by because you need good grades

Don't defer living.

Originally Posted by johnisles2011

My buddy (blogger below) got his best grades when he was with his girlfriend. He was happier, and his life was more balanced and stable. It also kept him from getting drunk all the time while chasing other girls around.

Seriously... COME ON. DO NOT be THAT much of a premed. This is your life. Your whole life isn't being a premed. Your social life and happiness matter too. You cannot make ALL your decisions based on how it would affect getting into med school. That's nuts. Really nuts.

My buddy (myself, wordpress below) got his best grades in the three semesters when he first started dating his girlfriend (also premed, see blog). He was happier, and his life was more balanced and stable. It also kept him from getting drunk all the time while chasing other girls around.
...
Seriously, though.

1) Emotions. A girlfriend provides stability and emotional relief in the face of stress and enormous uncertainty in life.
2) Academics. A smart and academically strong girlfriend can push you to do even better. My girlfriend has better grades than I do. She pushes me to study harder.
3) Appearances. Smart guys with girlfriends look well-balanced, in control, mature, human. If you're robotic and cookie-cutter premed, it'll hurt you in admissions (and social life). I knew I risked looking that way, and I spun being in a steady relationship to my advantage.
4) Life. Don't you want a life partner eventually? You're losing critical years of your youth when you can be either 1) meeting her, or 2) practicing so you don't screw up when you actually find her.

hehe...how cute

I have been with my husband for 7 years, married for 6. He is a great help for me because he is my #1 supporter, he is my cheerleader so to say. He does not get upset if I stay up late doing homework while he is asleep etc. I feel like I am doing this for myself, but I am also doing it for my husband and daughter. My family keeps me motivated, but we are married and we have worked out all of the kinks already.

A new relationship will run into kinks and issues once the lust phase calms down and those can cause stress, anxiety, sleepless nights so on and so forth. Only you know how you act in relationships and how much it plays into your daily life. If you know your grades will drop...then don't do it. If it may help you to feel balanced and take away stress, go for it. We are adults here...if you just need a little bootie call every once in awhile then go for that. You knwo what makes you happy and what helps you relax, you need that sometimes.

Originally Posted by ur2l8

Hey guys,

I was wondering on your thoughts on having a girlfriend and being pre-med. I don't have one, but there have been a few girls I would have asked out when I had the chance, but didn't, because I knew my grades may drop (because I'd be spending time with her). Anyways, it's pretty lonely studying by yourself, and you can't help but seeing all these happy people on facebook and such (most of my friends are in relationships) and it kinda sucks being 9th wheel, lol.

Have any of you guys successfully gotten through undergrad with a girlfriend and gotten into med school? Any thoughts on the subject? Thanks.

I have. Like everything else, its a balancing act. My fiancee and I make a conscious effort to make time for eachother, its something we work at almost every day. On top of that, we both do our best to support one another when times get hard, academically or otherwise. Many of your peers will be unable to handle the amount of time you have to work to stay on top and thats OK. Its also not a reason to avoid relationships.
Bonzodrummer is ABSOLUTELY RIGHT. Never miss out on anything because you think "you're a pre med", especially if its spending time with other people. That doesnt mean stop everything now an go party, but you dont reach your senior year and realize your best friends are your PI and the guy at the reference desk in the library.
In my opinion, its more than possible to do very well in school and maintain a happy relationship. You may trade some sleep for an extra hour or two of studying, and you may spend weekends working to keep things together but I think its worth it at the end of the day.
Best of luck.

No offense, but in my personal opinion, not having a bf/gf just because you are premed is pretty stupid. Med school wants well-rounded people. If you can't balance school and social life.... You need to take care of YOU in addition to taking care of your school work. This means having friends and relationships, taking time for yourself, spending a day here and there to relax or go out for a game of pool. Whatever. Each person is different, but if you totally seclude yourself and ONLY do school, you'll burn out pretty quickly. If you can't balance school and a relationship, how will you balance other things in life? You just need to be smart about managing your time, and make sure that your gf understands how important school is. Again, just my personal two cents.

I think having a boyfriend is far more fun than having a girlfriend, so if you can stomach it, I'd suggest that route.

Originally Posted by ur2l8

Hey guys,

I was wondering on your thoughts on having a girlfriend and being pre-med. I don't have one, but there have been a few girls I would have asked out when I had the chance, but didn't, because I knew my grades may drop (because I'd be spending time with her). Anyways, it's pretty lonely studying by yourself, and you can't help but seeing all these happy people on facebook and such (most of my friends are in relationships) and it kinda sucks being 9th wheel, lol.

Have any of you guys successfully gotten through undergrad with a girlfriend and gotten into med school? Any thoughts on the subject? Thanks.

Can you make this question more concise so I can make it my signature? It's that ridiculous.

Originally Posted by xXIDaShizIXx

Don't get upset dude. Women will come and go throughout your life. Get your work done and do what makes you happy. Don't give up women will come your way eventually. Who knows you might meet the woman of your dreams in medical school! Good luck!

I have to get into med school first, so fat chance of that happening.

Are you shy? Do you make an effort to get to know girls? Have you put yourself out there (even if it ends in a rejection)? Sometimes guys just don't pick up the subtle hints that girls give, and neither person is assertive enough to make a move.

If guys want to know how to get rejected, I can coach them because Im the master at getting rejected. I should write a book about this too.

This is your issue. Based on other posts I've seen you make as well, you have a very self-defeating attitude. Women like confident guys. You don't have to look like Brad Pitt to get girls. You just have to be confident in yourself because that is one of the most attractive features a guy can have. True story.

Wow. No way. I had no idea that this was it. Are you like for real?.........Thanks! Im now confident in my ability to fail classes. Chicks are gonna dig that for sure.

Lets just think about this for a minute and assume that the heavens open and the Second Coming of Christ happens. Now I'm in med school:

1) Im sure chicks that I'm interested in will line up to date a guy who has never been with a girl or had a serious relationship his entire life because I forgot how all guys in med schools are virgins and have never had gfs either. Since all the men are clearly at the same level, they have no reason to choose guys who have plenty of experience.

2) Its not sad or creepy at all to enter med school with no experience of a love life. Chicks find that so attractive. It just moistens their white coats.

yea just like my academics, this is in the back burner too. I mean when your 21 and you've tried and failed repeatedly you just got to take the hint life gives you.

Originally Posted by DeterminedDoc

I have to get into med school first, so fat chance of that happening.



If guys want to know how to get rejected, I can coach them because Im the master at getting rejected. I should write a book about this too.



Wow. No way. I had no idea that this was it. Are you like for real?.........Thanks! Im now confident in my ability to fail classes. Chicks are gonna dig that for sure.

Lets just think about this for a minute and assume that the heavens open and the Second Coming of Christ happens. Now I'm in med school:

1) Im sure chicks that I'm interested in will line up to date a guy who has never been with a girl or had a serious relationship his entire life because I forgot how all guys in med schools are virgins and have never had gfs either. Since all the men are clearly at the same level, they have no reason to choose guys who have plenty of experience.

2) Its not sad or creepy at all to enter med school with no experience of a love life. Chicks find that so attractive. It just moistens their white coats.

yea just like my academics, this is in the back burner too. I mean when your 21 and you've tried and failed repeatedly you just got to take the hint life gives you.

holy **** dude. Troll or real? First, get a hooker and one of your problems will be solved, then you can say you've been with a girl. Second, if you are a troll you just made me laugh out loud. Your self-defeating, quick to be offended attitude is actually pretty good (funny). If not troll....

But seriously...get a hooker

Originally Posted by seafood92

But seriously...get a hooker

My new signature!!! Thank you Mr. Food.

Fwb.....that's all I'm saying

Originally Posted by seafood92

holy **** dude. Troll or real? First, get a hooker and one of your problems will be solved, then you can say you've been with a girl. Second, if you are a troll you just made me laugh out loud. If not troll....

But seriously...get a hooker

I try too but I pimp them out too fast every time I get one. Its an addiction.

Your self-defeating, quick to be offended attitude is actually pretty good (funny).

I figure if not med school, then stand-up. Gotta keep up that attitude then if I want my backup option to still be viable.

I think my last ex cost me 3 points on my MCAT. If i could go back in time, I would do it all over again the same way...........totally worth it............ o_o

You shouldn't let being "pre-med" keep you from doing anything you enjoy. If you feel you would enjoy being in a relationship, go for it. And from experience, being in a relationship in college has actually helped me KEEP my grades high.

Originally Posted by studmuffin

I don't know what I would do with myself if I didn't have a girlfriend. She keeps me sane and I'm just plain happier with someone- which translates into better grades.

A breakup would eff you up. I can just see it. But hopefully you two stay together.

I was one of those pre-meds that never had a real relationship in undergrad.

Anyway, I'm in med school now, and I do have a girlfriend. This has been a really nice winter break.

The point is, it's never too late.

Originally Posted by blazer123

#gunnerproblems
Narmerguy: inappropriate content was removed.

Pic is in perfect symmetry

Originally Posted by seafood92

Pic is in perfect symmetry

Looks like an improper rotation to me... (awaits high five)

Originally Posted by Josh2389

this is amazing

I forgot to add--MOB

Originally Posted by scarshapedstar

Looks like an improper rotation to me... (awaits high five)

I can't high five for any similar-themed joke without feeling like The Todd.

Have a girlfriend to the point where your time consumption is low (for her) and get rid of her when it gets too time consuming. But being in university you shouldn't restrict yourself from other girls given the chance....

I have a main gf, then other girls I date on the side (whenever time permits), then girls I try and hook up with/become fwb, etc. You need to have your main gf who will have all the good qualities you want in a girl (girlfriend material), and then work on other girls on the side.

Dating is weak, brah. If you got that magic stick, the only challenge is fitting a bed big enough for a foursome in your dorm room.

Originally Posted by druggeek

Have a girlfriend to the point where your time consumption is low (for her) and get rid of her when it gets too time consuming. But being in university you shouldn't restrict yourself from other girls given the chance....

I have a main gf, then other girls I date on the side (whenever time permits), then girls I try and hook up with/become fwb, etc. You need to have your main gf who will have all the good qualities you want in a girl (girlfriend material), and then work on other girls on the side.

This is some scumbag advice.

Originally Posted by druggeek

Have a girlfriend to the point where your time consumption is low (for her) and get rid of her when it gets too time consuming. But being in university you shouldn't restrict yourself from other girls given the chance....

I have a main gf, then other girls I date on the side (whenever time permits), then girls I try and hook up with/become fwb, etc. You need to have your main gf who will have all the good qualities you want in a girl (girlfriend material), and then work on other girls on the side.

If you wanna be a complete ass, then yeah, this is a good plan...

Originally Posted by NinersFan0

If you wanna be a complete ass, then yeah, this is a good plan...

When you have no real morals outside of murder/rape, you don't really care and life is good (very srs).

I'm fine with dating/marrying a wife material girl, having a couple extra gfs on the side, having sex with a few other hotties on the next side, etc. And getting rid of the all the extras when any sort of risk becomes involved (me being caught).

Originally Posted by druggeek

When you have no real morals outside of murder/rape, you don't really care and life is good (very srs).

I'm fine with dating/marrying a wife material girl, having a couple extra gfs on the side, having sex with a few other hotties on the next side, etc. And getting rid of the all the extras when any sort of risk becomes involved (me being caught).

Go back to the misc you scumbag.

Man I'd rather be in a loving, interesting, awesome relationship than succeeding academically. Luckily, I can do both. You probably can too!

Originally Posted by sliceofbread136

Go back to the misc you scumbag.

Originally Posted by sliceofbread136

Go back to the misc you scumbag.

u jelly I get more action than you?

yes you are... (srs)

Originally Posted by druggeek

u jelly I get more action than you?

yes you are... (srs)

$10 says you're a virgin.

Originally Posted by LeoGer

$10 says you're a virgin.

notasinglesfukwasgiven.jpg about what an SDNer says.