|02-12-2012, 10:09 AM||#1|
Ashamed, Scared, yet Hopeful?
After much trolling and reading of others with low gpa and screwed up postbaccs (like me) that eventually made it into medical school, I'm gonna bare it all lol.
I am a 30year old female that started this med school journey 7years ago. I did not decide to start on this road until my junior year of college. And even then, the decision was based mostly on fear of being an "underachiever" (read the immigrant's dilemma of justifying parents' sacrifice of abandoning everything known for a better future in the land of plenty. Thus a bachelor's degree is certainly not enough. One can, should, must do better than parents).
Unfortunately, my undergrad cum gpa was 2.96 and I graduated with a B.S. in Medical Technology (Lab Science. I'm the labrat that processes, analyzes, interpretes, and puts out data from clinical specimens. My favorite dept is microbiology). My 2006 MCAT score was 26S (11V,8B,7P). I was a lost, desperate child after my first woeful attempt at med school app (treated it like undergrad app) and jumped on the first postbacc that accepted me (the deadline had passed for others) without pausing to think.
The first year of the postbacc was great. A's and B's with a gpa of 3.5 but decided to go for a second year (Master's) and further prove that I could hack it in med school (read severe inferiority complex and ignorance. I so regret this cause I feel I would have been accepted by now if I had applied with just the first year grades). Amidst the melodrama of med school apps, interviews, listening to other people, severe self-doubt, studying like my life depended on it, watching others get in while i was left behind and feeling very alone and questioning my true motivation in pursuing this medicine, I burnt out and it affected my grades. C's and W's. Looking back, I see this was a transformative time. But all I could feel back then was burnt out, jaded, and ashamed. I left the program, deciding that perhaps my true calling lay elsewhere.
In the meantime, I worked as a Generalist in the lab at a hospital and got acquainted with my new home on the east coast. But try as I might, that little voice would not shut up. It kept nagging and nagging lol. So, I decided to go back and retake the courses I got C's and had withdrawn from at the SMP.
I redeemed myself in biochemistry (one of my proudest moments), got a couple of C's but withdrew from neuroscience due to health issues that required surgery (I wasn't taking the chance of failing a 6credit course!). So, presently, my undergrad gpa is 2.96. Grad gpa is 2.86 and mcat score is 26S and 26P.
I am older now, wiser, less eager to leap and quite comfortable taking the baby steps needed to get where I need to. I know now where I belong. In fact, all this time has helped me figure out how passionate I am about helping folks under the lgbtqi umbrella access much-needed care and services. There is a huge need and I can't wait to become part of the solution as a physician.
Please help me carve a plan. I am prepared to do the necessary work for however long it takes. I plan on re-taking the mcat this may/june. I'm not sure if I will be able to return to the former postbacc and complete neuro.
Should I get into another postbacc? Perhaps pursue another master's degree to redeem my gpa and apply next year? Simply take additional grad science courses until my grad gpa passes the 3.0 mark? I await your replies.
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