Personal Space

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The guy I am dating and I sometimes go days without speaking and when we have a moment it feels as if his head is elsewhere.

This week I haven't talked to him for more than 10 minutes. Sent him a quick text and had a short phone convo. That's it. Am I giving him too much space?

Since we don't speak everyday does it mean he's just not that into me or am I doing the right thing by waiting?

Originally Posted by supportivegirl

I feel as if I'm not even in a relationship. We go days without speaking and when we have a moment it feels as if his head is elsewhere.

During these days I wait and wait until he initiates conversation but this can sometimes take the whole week. Am I giving him too much space?

Since we don't speak everyday does it mean he's just not that into me or am I doing the right thing by waiting?

I wouldn't wait for him. He doesn't sound like he is much into you. I seen the busiest interns/residents/medical professionals slave away and still find time for their loved ones to talk on the phone or skype daily, even if it is for just a few mins. He just doesn't sound invested and given he is a med student, he should most definitely have at least a few minutes for you daily. A week without so much as talking is ridiculous - this guy doesn't sound like he cares.

Would it make a difference if he was my boyfriend? Right now we have just been dating.

You're not a priority.

I may have looked over this, but what position is your date in? If he's a medical student, it's pretty normal. It takes up all your time and energy. I sometimes barely have time to eat - but then again, I call people I care about while I'm driving or eating.

He's a med student at an Ivy League university. This is kind of unusual. Normally we talk pretty often but this week he disappeared. I called but he was working on his thesis at the time so it was a short conversation. Haven't talked since then.

Originally Posted by supportivegirl

He's a med student at an Ivy League university. This is kind of unusual. Normally we talk pretty often but this week he disappeared. I called but he was working on his thesis at the time so it was a short conversation. Haven't talked since then.

Oh bull****. Don't even start me on busy. I called my bf even when I was sleeping 2 hrs a day and working two jobs WHILE going to pharmacy school, think equivalent of going to med school plus working two jobs on top of that. Can't get busier than that, I slept at school even last year.
I also took classes with med students my first two years and while not IV, we are still amongst top 5 med schools in the country. These med students had plenty of time, there are 5-10 mins breaks between each class, can he not call or text you then ?

Bottom line: if you want to make time, you'll cut corners and make it. If you aren't that into it, you'll make excuses and be busy. He doesn't sound into you.

Originally Posted by cheburashka

Oh bull****. Don't even start me on busy. I called my bf even when I was sleeping 2 hrs a day and working two jobs WHILE going to pharmacy school, think equivalent of going to med school plus working two jobs on top of that. Can't get busier than that, I slept at school even last year.
I also took classes with med students my first two years and while not IV, we are still amongst top 5 med schools in the country. These med students had plenty of time, there are 5-10 mins breaks between each class, can he not call or text you then ?

Bottom line: if you want to make time, you'll cut corners and make it. If you aren't that into it, you'll make excuses and be busy. He doesn't sound into you.

Totally agree.

The thing that makes you tell this here is the feeling that you feel somewhere inside and tells you the reality: You are right, its as you feel.

Originally Posted by supportivegirl

The guy I am dating and I sometimes go days without speaking and when we have a moment it feels as if his head is elsewhere.

This week I haven't talked to him for more than 10 minutes. Sent him a quick text and had a short phone convo. That's it. Am I giving him too much space?

Since we don't speak everyday does it mean he's just not that into me or am I doing the right thing by waiting?

Everyone needs personal space. Give the guy some slack.

Ask him how he feels about you two.

Originally Posted by PetPony

Ask him how he feels about you two.

......

Why do you jump to the "loved ones" conclusion. Sure, if they are that serious then time for a dumping, but if just dating a guy, then there is no reason to force time that isn't available. Take what you can get and see if the relationship gets more serious.

Its called putting the "girl" on ice. (when guys are talking to each other, the girl will be replaced by another term). Generally, when you're dating someone who is acting a little crazy/angry/demanding/making you put up with BS, you just ignore her for a while. Let things get back to normal. So best thing for you to do is also ignore him for a while and go do something fun. Don't call/text/show up for a week or so.

Interesting! I havent known this, but looks good. Creates a balance, or ends the relationship, which is better than feeling being forced/forcing.

Originally Posted by Oxer45

Its called putting the "girl" on ice. (when guys are talking to each other, the girl will be replaced by another term). Generally, when you're dating someone who is acting a little crazy/angry/demanding/making you put up with BS, you just ignore her for a while. Let things get back to normal. So best thing for you to do is also ignore him for a while and go do something fun. Don't call/text/show up for a week or so.

Originally Posted by bidiboom

Interesting! I havent known this, but looks good. Creates a balance, or ends the relationship, which is better than feeling being forced/forcing.

With girls it works in your favor

Oh boy be careful, the situation you're in is quicksand!! You will end up obsessing over a man you DONT EVEN LIKE that much when they do this. It makes you feel like something is wrong with you and drives even the most intelligent and attractive women completely nuts.

real men don't need space (theyre emotionally healthy and in control) in such a way that's noticeable or rejects you in the process. Keep looking for someone (preferably over the age of 27) and you'll see.