Hard to get married after 30?

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Originally Posted by cheburashka

You aren't doomed. Plenty of people are in the same boat. Where are you located ? How tall are you ?

I *love* how this is a big issue with most women. Is it really a big deal if the guy is shorter than the girl (with or without heels)? I'm 6'1" and went out with a couple women who were 6'1"-6'2"...so in heels they had me by a few inches!

Originally Posted by cheburashka

Lol all you want. I made plenty of IRL friends off this website, I don't see why I can't get married off it. I meet most men's criteria, I am hot, smart and love star trek.

Date v. Marry can be two COMPLETELY different set of criteria. I know my lists have some crossover, but I typically know early on if the woman has the potential to fall in the latter category. There are plenty of hot and smart women, though things like personality can actually matter....I know, it surprised me too!

As for men being more/less attractive after 30...I think if they are professionals it is almost always more. There may be some debt, but there is also far more earning potential and possibility stability.

It is hard.......

Originally Posted by zigmaz

I sort of agree with 30s is the new 20s. But I am male in my mid 30s now and still single. I am available if anypone is interested. I am also Canadian and virgin. LOL!

I am wondering if there is any dating site for us doctors, lawyers, engineers, etc?

Saying you're Canadian means you don't have to add the second part

Originally Posted by Kaustikos

Saying you're Canadian means you don't have to add the second part

Why is that?

Originally Posted by NWS

we got a winner!!!!!!!!!

Agreed. I love Star Trek

Originally Posted by water23

yes

Getting married for women, after 30, especially if you are in professional school, is much harder. Not only are most guys going to consider you past your prime, but your intelligence and earning power will scare most of them away.

Originally Posted by cheburashka

Plus you gotta sell yourself, it's not any different than med/pharm school interviews: you don't exactly say on your apps, " Hi, I am average, accept me."

This is golden advice.

Originally Posted by AxeJ

No. 30's the new 20.

I agree with this.

Originally Posted by zigmaz

...I am wondering if there is any dating site for us doctors, lawyers, engineers, etc?

I wonder about that as well.

Originally Posted by AxeJ

No. 30's the new 20.

tell that to her ovaries

Originally Posted by Therapist4Chnge

Date v. Marry can be two COMPLETELY different set of criteria. I know my lists have some crossover, but I typically know early on if the woman has the potential to fall in the latter category. There are plenty of hot and smart women, though things like personality can actually matter....I know, it surprised me too!
.

I find this incredible. You really have criteria and lists. That is just plain sad.
I just feel you miss out on the best people this way.

Originally Posted by cowme

tell that to her ovaries

Wait, what are those?

Originally Posted by Kaustikos

Wait, what are those?

those things your junk bangs up against if it is big enough.

sounds like you dont need to be worried about that.......

Originally Posted by J DUB

those things your junk bangs up against if it is big enough.

sounds like you dont need to be worried about that.......

They told me it wasn't the size of the hammer but how you nail it!

Originally Posted by Kaustikos

They told me it wasn't the size of the hammer but how you nail it!

chicks did the long ball..........

Im laughing, chuckling, and giggling at this... but honestly, as a 32 year old soon to be divorce women... yeah I'm scared. very very scared.

Originally Posted by HipChick

Im laughing, chuckling, and giggling at this... but honestly, as a 32 year old soon to be divorce women... yeah I'm scared. very very scared.

same age.......

Originally Posted by J DUB

same age.......

But you're a rocket scientist....

Originally Posted by Kaustikos

But you're a rocket scientist....

Originally Posted by GuerreDePlume

Getting married for women, after 30, especially if you are in professional school, is much harder. Not only are most guys going to consider you past your prime, but your intelligence and earning power will scare most of them away.

IME this has proven true to some extent. It can be a good thing though because it sort of scares all the losers away. And there are a LOT of losers out there.

The other thing is that being a single professional in my 30s, highly educated, and awesome, makes me EXTREMELY picky about guys i'd consider dating/marrying. So the difficulty in finding a suitable man really is in part self-imposed. Not a whole lot of guys out there deserve me.

Originally Posted by WorkaholicsAnon

IME this has proven true to some extent. It can be a good thing though because it sort of scares all the losers away. And there are a LOT of losers out there.

The other thing is that being a single professional in my 30s, highly educated, and awesome, makes me EXTREMELY picky about guys i'd consider dating/marrying. So the difficulty in finding a suitable man really is in part self-imposed. Not a whole lot of guys out there deserve me.

Might be the arrogance thing too.....yeah probably not.

Originally Posted by WorkaholicsAnon

IME this has proven true to some extent. It can be a good thing though because it sort of scares all the losers away. And there are a LOT of losers out there.

The other thing is that being a single professional in my 30s, highly educated, and awesome, makes me EXTREMELY picky about guys i'd consider dating/marrying. So the difficulty in finding a suitable man really is in part self-imposed. Not a whole lot of guys out there deserve me.

pics to prove ur points or I call BS

Originally Posted by WorkaholicsAnon

IME this has proven true to some extent. It can be a good thing though because it sort of scares all the losers away. And there are a LOT of losers out there.

The other thing is that being a single professional in my 30s, highly educated, and awesome, makes me EXTREMELY picky about guys i'd consider dating/marrying. So the difficulty in finding a suitable man really is in part self-imposed. Not a whole lot of guys out there deserve me.

If you're not attractive, none of the shiit you listed matters. We don't care if you think we "deserve" you or not. Has your ass gotten big?

Originally Posted by J DUB

Might be the arrogance thing too.....yeah probably not.

Originally Posted by Gpan

pics to prove ur points or I call BS

Originally Posted by jdh71

If you're not attractive, none of the shiit you listed matters. We don't care if you think we "deserve" you or not. Has your ass gotten big?

You've already got four guys telling you to fuck off... you're pretty awesome.



In case you couldn't tell; I'm number 4

Originally Posted by jdh71

If you're not attractive, none of the shiit you listed matters. We don't care if you think we "deserve" you or not. Has your ass gotten big?

Attractiveness is a very subjective thing. If i wasn't attractive so many losers wouldn't be after me.

I think you may have misunderstood my post. What i stated has nothing to do with how guys see me, and everything to do with how I see guys. My point is that all those things are making ME picky and that may be part of the reason why I am still single (and perhaps other successful professional women). I am not one of those women who is dying to be with someone; I think the more successful a woman is, the less she feels dependent on being with a man to up her self-esteem and thus have a harder time finding that special man who is her perfect complement. Call that arrogance if you will, but that's just how i feel.. I'm not going to make myself a doormat or be with guys i'm not attracted to, just cause some losers on the internet (or irl for that matter) think i'm arrogant.

Oh and i have enough self esteem to not care what guys think (about deserving me or not). I'm just stating fact and my own assessment of many of the men that want to be with me. They obviously think they're in my league.. this is beside the point.

Originally Posted by Kaustikos

You've already got four guys telling you to fuck off... you're pretty awesome.



In case you couldn't tell; I'm number 4

I guess i hit a sore spot

p.s. i think J Dub is a girl if i'm not mistaken.

Originally Posted by Gpan

pics to prove ur points or I call BS

I value my online anonymity. You'll have to live without my pics.

Originally Posted by WorkaholicsAnon

Attractiveness is a very subjective thing. If i wasn't attractive so many losers wouldn't be after me.

I think you may have misunderstood my post. What i stated has nothing to do with how guys see me, and everything to do with how I see guys. My point is that all those things are making ME picky and that may be part of the reason why I am still single (and perhaps other successful professional women). I am not one of those women who is dying to be with someone; I think the more successful a woman is, the less she feels dependent on being with a man to up her self-esteem and thus have a harder time finding that special man who is her perfect complement. Call that arrogance if you will, but that's just how i feel.. I'm not going to make myself a doormat or be with guys i'm not attracted to, just cause some losers on the internet (or irl for that matter) think i'm arrogant.

Oh and i have enough self esteem to not care what guys think (about deserving me or not). I'm just stating fact and my own assessment of many of the men that want to be with me. They obviously think they're in my league.. this is beside the point.

I'm sensing a lot of baggage right now.

Originally Posted by WhtsThFrequency

I'm sensing a lot of baggage right now.

Baggage, like what?

I mean, i've seen all sorts of screwed up ways guys can behave with girls, seen it with my loved ones, friends, acquaintances, and even as a bystander, both hearing how many men approach relationships as well as what women I know have put up with. So i'm not totally naive that way.

You do have a point maybe in that I may be a bit guarded in terms of protecting myself from that sort of nonsense, but it's not because i've been through the ringer. I am trying to avoid that for myself, and i'm not that desperate to be IN a relationship to just let all those concerns and reality checks go. Like i said, i'm picky.

Originally Posted by WorkaholicsAnon

Baggage, like what?

I mean, i've seen all sorts of screwed up ways guys can behave with girls, seen it with my loved ones, friends, acquaintances, and even as a bystander, both hearing how many men approach relationships as well as what women I know have put up with. So i'm not totally naive that way.

You do have a point maybe in that I may be a bit guarded in terms of protecting myself from that sort of nonsense, but it's not because i've been through the ringer. I am trying to avoid that for myself, and i'm not that desperate to be IN a relationship to just let all those concerns and reality checks go. Like i said, i'm picky.

Exactly. You have a screwed up view of most men because of this. You haven't even experienced this yourself; you are basing your categorization of most men being "losers" based on seeing and hearing about other people's experiences (which you are likely hearing biased viewpoints on anyway). I mean hell, if I watched Disney movies all the time, I'd think most men were princes.

I reckon if you open yourself up a little more, you'd be a lot happier. In addition....it's not just men. Women are JUST as bad, if not worse, and sending relationships down the toilet. You're just sounding like a bit of a misandrist here, hence the backlash.

Being too "picky" because of unrealistic stereotypes, and categorizing a large sector of the opposite sex negatively based on other people's experiences (think all the guys that talk about how women are all superificial whores, etc, based on their n=1 experience or hearsay from other people who have had bad luck) is a recipe for disaster. I have a feeling if a nice, good-looking, honest, blue-collar guy who worked at, say, an automotive shop asked you on a date, you'd turn him down because without education/money/etc he's just a "loser".

I understand the predicament in a way - so don't think I'm totally against you. I'm in my late twenties and have also found it difficult to find mature men to date. But you seem to just have a mental block against a huge (very dateable and nice) set of men for no particular reason other than seeing other people have bad luck.

Originally Posted by WorkaholicsAnon

I guess i hit a sore spot

p.s. i think J Dub is a girl if i'm not mistaken.

wow, you must be that great to not notice.....

I talk more crap on here to all the women than almost anyone......


First time in the 10+yrs I have been on here......someone said that.

But, I guess you are such a SUPERSTAR you will find yourself....

alone and great all by yourself.......just dont be jealous when us regular folks that are almost all doctorate level educated, etc. have families and have someone to share our lives with.

p.s. we all are freakin superstars on here for the most part....

Do yourself a favor.....knock the dust off that thing and get some.

you might just get a life.

Originally Posted by WhtsThFrequency

I understand the predicament in a way - so don't think I'm totally against you. I'm in my late twenties and have also found it difficult to find mature men to date.

Hey, I asked you out.....wait.

I just read the mature part. my bad! carry on!!

Originally Posted by J DUB

Hey, I asked you out.....wait.

I just read the mature part. my bad! carry on!!

I don't date post-padders! I'm way too awesome for those losers!

Originally Posted by WorkaholicsAnon

Attractiveness is a very subjective thing. If i wasn't attractive so many losers wouldn't be after me.

What, in your opinion, makes a guy a loser?

Originally Posted by J DUB

Hey, I asked you out.....wait.

I just read the mature part. my bad! carry on!!

so very true

Anyhow, I think it is hard to get married after 30 only if you decide it is hard to get married after 30. It seems to me that a lot of the population (not all) is getting married in their 30s, so I really don't see it as a disadvantage nor am I going to say now that I am in my 30s I have a snowflake's chance in hell at finding a husband because that is complete and utter BS. You make your own opportunities in life and that is with everything (even relationships). And if you are waiting for that perfect guy to come along - well chances are it is not going to happen, you have to go out looking for him. And you have to date a lot of toads along the way. Such is life. JMO

(excuse my utter lack of sentence structure and run on sentences - I am in the midst of studying for finals and lack a coherent brain )

Originally Posted by devyn

so very true

Anyhow, I think it is hard to get married after 30 only if you decide it is hard to get married after 30. It seems to me that a lot of the population (not all) is getting married in their 30s, so I really don't see it as a disadvantage nor am I going to say now that I am in my 30s I have a snowflake's chance in hell at finding a husband because that is complete and utter BS. You make your own opportunities in life and that is with everything (even relationships). And if you are waiting for that perfect guy to come along - well chances are it is not going to happen, you have to go out looking for him. And you have to date a lot of toads along the way. Such is life. JMO

(excuse my utter lack of sentence structure and run on sentences - I am in the midst of studying for finals and lack a coherent brain )

I dunno, girl. The average age of first marriage, although rising, is still in the mid to late twenties (and that's AFTER having been engaged or dating for several years prior). For those of us still unattached or in young relationships watching the big 3-0 approach, it's a little worrying to be sure, especially when considering the desire to start a family at some point.

Yes, it doesn't become a lost cause by ANY means, and there are definitely fine available men, but it is still harder than your early or mid 20s.

I definitely agree with the not waiting around thing, though. You can't just wait for someone to fall in your lap - you gotta get out there and sift through the prospectives.

Originally Posted by WhtsThFrequency

I dunno, girl. The average age of first marriage, although rising, is still in the mid to late twenties (and that's AFTER having been engaged or dating for several years prior). For those of us still unattached or in young relationships watching the big 3-0 approach, it's a little worrying to be sure, especially when considering the desire to start a family at some point.

Yes, it doesn't become a lost cause by ANY means, and there are definitely fine available men, but it is still harder than your early or mid 20s.

I definitely agree with the not waiting around thing, though. You can't just wait for someone to fall in your lap - you gotta get out there and sift through the prospectives.

I guess it depends where you are from... Being from LA, the vast majority of my friends (late 20s, early 30s) are unattached, so at least in that area of the world I would say the average age for marriage is older. Of course, in Michigan where I graduated undergrad all of my friends from high school are married with children. So I definitely think it is a different demographic.

Is it easy to find a guy the older you get?! Hell no! But I am older than you and still haven't found the right guy. I have hit the big 3-0 as you call it and damn it makes me feel old sometimes. The thing is, I am not going to let some idea that it is so much more difficult to get married now that I am in my 30s deter me or have me thinking it is hopeless because where does that get me. Might as well get out on the scene and keep up the faith that there is the right man out there somewhere for me.

I would marry either of you. preferably both!

Originally Posted by WhtsThFrequency

I don't date post-padders! I'm way too awesome for those losers!

You are out of my league.....cant blame a guy for reaching for the stars!

Originally Posted by J DUB

I would marry either of you. preferably both!

I think that is against the law in most places.

Originally Posted by devyn

I think that is against the law in most places.

common law in theory...maybe...? Just think you can have help when it comes to making me a sammich.....

Originally Posted by J DUB

common law in theory...maybe...? Just think you can have help when it comes to making me a sammich.....

Yeah....about that.... I don't cook or even make sandwichs, so you are on your own... sorry

Originally Posted by devyn

Yeah....about that.... I don't cook or even make sandwichs, so you are on your own... sorry

nevermind....I resend my offer.

Originally Posted by J DUB

nevermind....I resend my offer.

I think you mean "rescind", otherwise you are just reoffering to marry me

perhaps you could just cook for me

Originally Posted by devyn

I think you mean "rescind", otherwise you are just reoffering to marry me

perhaps you could just cook for me

I still want to have teh sex....you are hot.....

and I can hire a cook!

But, I can cook. When my mom broke one ankle and the other foot and could not walk I had to cook for everyone for the whole summer.

Homemade mac n cheese, mashed potatoes, fried chicken, porkchops, etc.

Originally Posted by J DUB

I still want to have teh sex....you are hot.....

and I can hire a cook!

But, I can cook. When my mom broke one ankle and the other foot and could not walk I had to cook for everyone for the whole summer.

Homemade mac n cheese, mashed potatoes, fried chicken, porkchops, etc.

I do love me a Southern boy!

Originally Posted by WhtsThFrequency

I do love me a Southern boy!

can I leave my boots under your bed, ma'am?

Originally Posted by J DUB

can I leave my boots under your bed, ma'am?

Oh lawdy!

Originally Posted by WorkaholicsAnon

I value my online anonymity. You'll have to live without my pics.

yeah I thought so