Awesome Example of Personal Statement

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With the application cycle soon approaching... i figured there would be a lot of people trying to put the finishing touches on their personal statements. The following thread is a great example of a PS that not only answers the "what", but more importantly the "why" of dentistry. You can see that through the use of experiences, the author was able to express emotions and principles effectively. Enjoy!!

http://forums.studentdoctor.net/show...13#post3730313

Brilliant

haha. funny read. definitely not real though.

I am slightly embarrassed to say that I was about halfway through the PS before I realized it had to be fake...figured it after reading the following line:

'Africa. Oh wretched continent! How long must you suffer? How long will you provide the venue to compensate for a low MCAT score? How many must die before I am accepted to a top-tier medical school?'

Hilarious, that dude is a gifted writer for sure.

There were so many red flags that came up during my first read of that personal statement. I was like,
"Bro, you can't say that..." "DUDE you just insulted their country, walking skeletons blocking the road of your landrover?" "uh, okay he can't be serious with that line i'm callin' BS ha."

Then I read the comments below.

At times, an applicant is accepted in spite of rather than as a result of a ps.

I hope a few naive pre-meds have stolen that and tried to use it. Or just used it regardless of naivete.

Much like anything on the app besides what matters (gpa dat) a great ps won't get u in but it will keep u out. At the end of the day schools want ppl who can pass boards not novelists

Originally Posted by ALLDAYYY

Much like anything on the app besides what matters (gpa dat) a great ps won't get u in but it will keep u out. At the end of the day schools want ppl who can pass boards not novelists

logic is absent from all that you say.

What are u talking about.

A great ps with mediocre stats is worthless. Chances are they won't even bother reading it and they'll place ur app in the review later pile or reject pile.

Adcoms only care About ur ps once Uve shown a strong academic record and commitment to dentistry (actual proof of involvement).

As Maya Angelou once said, “All men (and womyn) are prepared to accomplish the incredible if their ideals are threatened.” I feel this embodies my philosophy best because the prospect of grad school is too horrible to contemplate.

The last line is pure poetry.

Although this is (probably) fake-- I have to say that I included a similar tongue-in-cheek passage in my PS which poked fun at how seemingly all pre-dents claim to know that they wanted to be a dentist by preschool. It got me a few laughs.

Am i the only one that thinks this is stupid as hell....

Originally Posted by AllahIsGreater

Am i the only one that thinks this is stupid as hell....

http://www.turntoislam.com/forum/showthread.php?t=16680

Originally Posted by AllahIsGreater

Am i the only one that thinks this is stupid as hell....

yes

A personal statement that makes fun of less fortunate people, by trying to point out all the "cliche" topics students talk about in their personal statements is NOT funny or amusing. In fact its very disrespectful. I don't care if he was joking or not. Just that fact, that someone would poke fun of poor people/sick people shows you what type of society we live in. May God guide us all.

Originally Posted by AllahIsGreater

A personal statement that makes fun of less fortunate people, by trying to point out all the "cliche" topics students talk about in their personal statements is NOT funny or amusing. In fact its very disrespectful. I don't care if he was joking or not. Just that fact, that someone would poke fun of poor people/sick people shows you what type of society we live in. May God guide us all.

This PS doesn't make fun of of less fortunate or sick people. It is making fun of the premed/predent students that participate in all these activities, just for the sake of putting it on an app.

Yes this PS is fake and sure it might be somewhat offensive, but you know what... it is honest. It points out all the hoops everyone has to jump through and calls the bluff on most premed/predent applicants. It points out the flaws in the "system" of application and the desire to have well rounded students.

I volunteer because i truly enjoy it and the way it makes me feel. And i have chosen the EC's i have done, because i feel they make me a better person. I have also shadowed the dentists and specialists i have, because of my genuine interest in dentistry... So if offends me when people ask:

Is this enough shadowing hours?
Is this a good volunteering activity?
Will this research look good to an ADCOM?

Those are questions of applicants who are not genuine and honest, this PS is. To those applicants who are just tying to fit into the "system", this PS was for you. It makes fun of those applicants... not the people whom we serve.

Originally Posted by AllahIsGreater

A personal statement that makes fun of less fortunate people, by trying to point out all the "cliche" topics students talk about in their personal statements is NOT funny or amusing. In fact its very disrespectful. I don't care if he was joking or not. Just that fact, that someone would poke fun of poor people/sick people shows you what type of society we live in. May God guide us all.

It's meant to be satirical. Read deeper into the essay. Use context. Understand what the writer is actually trying to say.

I do agree, however, that if he was actually making light of dying people in Africa it would be shameful. But he's not. He's not "joking" either. The writer is pointing blame at the students (and people in general) who don't actually give a **** about the indigent and are using their unfortunate circumstances to further their own gain.

Originally Posted by AllahIsGreater

A personal statement that makes fun of less fortunate people, by trying to point out all the "cliche" topics students talk about in their personal statements is NOT funny or amusing. In fact its very disrespectful. I don't care if he was joking or not. Just that fact, that someone would poke fun of poor people/sick people shows you what type of society we live in. May God guide us all.

Read beyond the words. As others have noted, this fake PS is mocking those who do "good" things just to beef up their med/dent school app.

The only sad part about this PS is that it carries a tinge of truth to it.

I agree with you UltimateHombre, however, the whole application process know is being more hollistic. they look at the applicant as a whole. Although yes some of these "fake" people will get in, they really place a big emphasis on your interview and trust me these people have seen enough kids who are full of it.

SupDanLOL, i know it was meant to that way, thats why i said even if it was a joke, its not funny. There are several other ways to point out the kids are trying to get around the system, you dont have to make fun of a country where children are dying every second because they cannot even eat plain bread. It is shameful and disrespectful to point a joke at such circumstances. Instead of wasting time writing something useless he could have helped those people.

I am not saying i am a perfect person, i am far from it. But i am just grateful that God has not put me in situations like those people. In my personal statement i wrote that i wanted to help people. Why? Because I MEAN IT. I may not have the best grades, or be the smartest person, but when you sincere about really wanting to do something, God opens doors for you that you could have never opened on your own. So if anyone wants to write about how they want to help people, than do it, and if you are sincere, you will find what you are looking for. Peace be upon all of you.

Originally Posted by UltimateHombre

This PS doesn't make fun of of less fortunate or sick people. It is making fun of the premed/predent students that participate in all these activities, just for the sake of putting it on an app.

Yes this PS is fake and sure it might be somewhat offensive, but you know what... it is honest. It points out all the hoops everyone has to jump through and calls the bluff on most premed/predent applicants. It points out the flaws in the "system" of application and the desire to have well rounded students.

I volunteer because i truly enjoy it and the way it makes me feel. And i have chosen the EC's i have done, because i feel they make me a better person. I have also shadowed the dentists and specialists i have, because of my genuine interest in dentistry... So if offends me when people ask:

Is this enough shadowing hours?
Is this a good volunteering activity?
Will this research look good to an ADCOM?

Those are questions of applicants who are not genuine and honest, this PS is. To those applicants who are just tying to fit into the "system", this PS was for you. It makes fun of those applicants... not the people whom we serve.

Originally Posted by SupDanLOL

It's meant to be satirical. Read deeper into the essay. Use context. Understand what the writer is actually trying to say.

I do agree, however, that if he was actually making light of dying people in Africa it would be shameful. But he's not. He's not "joking" either. The writer is pointing blame at the students (and people in general) who don't actually give a **** about the indigent and are using their unfortunate circumstances to further their own gain.

I may have misunderstood the authors intentions. But I made several people read my personal statement and they all told me "why do talk so much about helping people, thats such a cliche".........mind you my actual schools pre health advisor was one of those people.....I honestly am at a loss of words for such people. Each human being has the potential to be a beautiful person, when we constantly judge each other, and put down each other we reach the state of worldly turmoil that we are in right now. When you see good in other people, your life becomes beautiful. Even if those other people are not that great themselves, when they see the good you are doing they too will want to join. I know i am rambling, but this is something i am very passionate about. Moral of the story: stop judging pre dental/med students and always accusing them of using cliche examples.

+1 to Dan, Hombre and Bereno.

Allah, it's satire man.

Bump... for this years applicants...