Starting a family

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Family has always been a priority of mine. I have always wanted 5 kids and to be there when they came home from school. I also want to go to medical school. Right now I am just a pre-med, but I was wondering if it is possible to have 5 kids without being an older mother and to enjoy your family. Any experiences here?

No experience in the sense that I'm still pre-med too and not a woman, haha... But I have 2 small children and I enjoy my family plenty. Again though, I'm not in med school right now and don't have that 8-5 every day + study time at home each night schedule. But I can say this... I do know that the time I spend with my kids (every second I'm not in class) I am thinking about studying/school stuff, which I wish wasn't the case. I do get time though where I can really enjoy them and not worry or think about school at all too. But it is the sacrifice that you need to decide if you're willing to make it. There are TONS of people who have several kids in med school and do great in school and get to spend time with their families too, but it's not the same as if you graduate undergrad and get a 9-5 job where you have no worries about work outside of work.

Oh... and good luck with whatever decisions you decide!!

Originally Posted by PreMedSucks

Family has always been a priority of mine. I have always wanted 5 kids and to be there when they came home from school. I also want to go to medical school. Right now I am just a pre-med, but I was wondering if it is possible to have 5 kids without being an older mother and to enjoy your family. Any experiences here?

If you're fertile/lucky, you can space them out to have them during summer, but let me not kid you: pregnancy is rough, and keeping up with working and studying is rough. That, on top of having older kids/toddlers running around... you may want to start now.
I'll have a toddler when (if) I get in to med school, and probably not going to have another one during school.

Originally Posted by PreMedSucks

Family has always been a priority of mine. I have always wanted 5 kids and to be there when they came home from school. I also want to go to medical school. Right now I am just a pre-med, but I was wondering if it is possible to have 5 kids without being an older mother and to enjoy your family. Any experiences here?

I am 29. I have three kids (7, 8, and 6 months). My husband and I homeschool our older two children.

Yes, it's definitely possible. For me, I've done things backwards. I married young, put off college after highschool, and am graduating (BS) Saturday. I'd say this: be prepared to be creative. And tired. Really tired.

Shoot me a PM or something if you want to talk. Work-life balance and moms in medicine are both personal interests, and I'm happy to be supportive of any one (male or female) who is trying to walk the wire.

ETA: I suggest concentrating on having the first one first. You may find your idea of the perfect family size changes (in either direction, hahaha!).

I should add that you should get comfortable now with the fact that you will be perpetually poor, stressed, and convinced you're a terrible mother. Oh, and your house will never be clean--or your laundry folded--again. Ever.

Well, at least until your gremlins are out on their own, anyway.

When your babies are little, you will face physical pain (in your heart and in your boobs) every time you leave for class/lab/work/etc. You'll never feel like you're doing good enough. You'll face an uphill battle in your effort to convince everyone that you have what it takes to be a successful professional, and that you're willing to make the tough choices.

But hopefully you'll learn to be comfortable in your own skin, how to take excellent care of yourself (because no one else is going to!), and confident in the choices you make.

And you'll save a ton of money on cable, because you're never going to have time to watch television again.

Consider connecting with local doctors who are women, and ask how they've handled it. When I was pregnant with my most recent gremlin, I asked every woman I saw how she handled balancing being a doctor and a mom. One was a medical student taking care of me post-partum. She had some interesting insights as well. All of them had fantastic tips, and surprising ways of doing things. Most of their responses were completely unexpected--not what I would have predicted by a long shot.