Need help with dating- about to start residency

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Originally Posted by blueclassring

This interview can be found on http://www.happierabroad.com/interviews.php

. There is a problem with the dating scene here. If you're still a 28 year old virgin, you'll probably be one at 40 no matter how much you work on your game, confidence, or your body. Something isn't clicking here, but I don't think you're alone. Click on the interview entitled.



Helpful and Informative! Interview with Ladislav, Chief Advisor of Happier Abroad, and Winston Wu, by Steve Hoca - Hear from Winston Wu's legendary Expat Advisor, Ladislav, talk about Global Dating and Cultural Comparisons

Do you own stock in that company? Seriously, it's a scam at best. Stop pushing it.

Originally Posted by DocDanny

Why have they not set me up with a prostitute? LOL, some of them joke about it.

My friends say they don't know anybody. I take them at their word.

Don't laugh because I wasn't joking. There are plenty of ways to go about this. If you are worried about the legality and you have the cash to blow, head out to amsterdam, prague, thailand, or numerous other places where it is legal and culturally acceptable.

Alternatively just go somewhere with lots of "talent" (ex. Las Vegas, strip club) and spend some time wandering around alone, or sitting at a bar, starbucks etc late at night. Not only is there a good chance you will find a regular girl and get to sharpen up on your game, there is a semi decent chance a working girl will come up to you and offer an "indecent proposal".

Is there a single person(non religious fundamentalist) who would argue that you would be worse off paying for your first time as opposed to being a 28 yo virgin? I seriously doubt it.

Also your friends don't know a single girl they can hook you up with? A 28 yo DOCTOR who is into painting, cooking, and working out? You need to stop putting the P on a pedestal man, there are tons of girls out there dying to find a guy like that. You seriously need to work on your confidence. I think part of it is that in med school and in medicine you are surrounded by many super type A females, super intelligent hardworking strong driven women. But there are so many ditsy airheads out there who could do with a guy like you in their life. A guy can usually fall back on some sort of physical labor job eg working oil fields or plumbing or construction etc. For women who can't find success in the professional world that fall back plan is getting married and raising kids. They need you as much as you need them. Haha if I told my sister about a guy with that description she would be all over it!


so in conclusion:
- Lower standards
-Throw some money out there
-Spend some time trying to pick up girls
-If that doesn't work get your ass to a country with legal prostitution before 29.

OP, if you're feeling brave, go to the Wolf's Den and post a picture in the dating thread and ask for advice.

If any of those people live in the same city as you, they might even try to set you up/act as your wingman.

Also - people should be more careful not to advocate anything illegal on these forums.

Originally Posted by johnnydrama

OP, if you're feeling brave, go to the Wolf's Den and post a picture in the dating thread and ask for advice.

If any of those people live in the same city as you, they might even try to set you up/act as your wingman.

Also - people should be more careful not to advocate anything illegal on these forums.

Law is relative to your location. As I said it's certainly legal in certain parts of the world, ex. parts of europe, south america, asia, and heck even the US (some parts of nevada).

Originally Posted by HopesandDreams

Law is relative to your location. As I said it's certainly legal in certain parts of the world, ex. parts of europe, south america, asia, and heck even the US (some parts of nevada).

Sure there are places prostitution is legal. I would hope on a medical related board folks would note that this is extremely risky behavior though.

Originally Posted by BeanDip4All

omg if you're seriously going down this route why not just enter into a long-term "arrangement" with a young co-ed...

Seriously going down what route? I dont want a prostitute. I mean my friends don't know anyone who'd want to date.

I'm not putting the 'P on a pedestal'. Like I said, I lowered my standards, asked my friends if they knew anyone to hook up with. No dice.

I know sex isn't this magical cure all. I know it doesn't have to be special. I know you don't need an emotional connection.

But I think I'll hold off on prostitution for awhile. Work on getting dates, talking to women and working on my confidence more.

This thread is repeating itself.

I mean look, I think some of you have the impression that I've been constantly rejected since I was 12. It's not like that.

I couldn't even WALK on my own til I was almost 15. And then I was painfully shy. On top of that, in college I suffered from bad depression and low self esteem. I couldn't even TALK to people.

It has only been in the past few years I've gotten my act together and felt like I actually had something to offer someone. I KNOW I'm amazing now. And I have gotten so much better at talking to women. I even had a date.

I'd rather continue on this path and actually see what happens when I get my own place and am around new people. I just have to be patient and keep working on myself. That sounds more physically and emotionally satisfying than whores and pity sex.

I really think I'm going about this the right way.

Originally Posted by mdhopeful65

OK. so to preface: I am a 5'5" caucasian male. I have had >10 girlfriends, >20 one-night stands, and found love twice (once to a woman 3" taller than me, who I dated for years, and was a legit 10/10).

Here are my thoughts, based off my own experience.

To make a long story short, getting dates is not impossible for vertically challenged men but significantly harder than their taller brothers. That is the reality of the matter, and is not going to change in your lifetime if you stay in the US. I feel women, on the whole, are significantly more shallow than men when it comes to this issue; it is just the way they are hardwired. I don't know what else to call someone that would completely disregard a person's entire character based off a single trait that is completely out of their control and they can do nothing to change. I know it's not the most PC answer, but I'll call a spade a spade.

In the above cases, you can be as confident as you want (which I sure as hell am), but it isn't going to make a difference.

Nonetheless, I feel like I would be completely lying if I said ALL women are like this. This is important now: there are some women out there that height does not matter one bit. Let me repeat: It does not matter how tall you are to this group. They don't have bright neon signs over their heads proclaiming they are, and the only way you can find out is through experience. Once I find this type of woman, it is ON!!! You have to assume from the get-go that they are interested in you, and aggressively pursue as if she belonged in this group. Statistically speaking, you’re going to run into more women that simply don’t date short, which means you will be rejected more often than not. That means you’re doing things right! It is like a formula 1 racer: the closer you hug the turns, the higher the chance you’ll come out ahead, but also the higher the chance you’ll crash and burn. Eventually you will find success, but you have to aggressive when it comes to the pursuit. If you carry the mentality that she would never date you because of your height, and you so happen to meet a girl that doesn't care, that attitude is going to be drawn into your interaction and you will shoot yourself in the foot.

Think of it this other way: In whatever city you live in, you may have 1 or 2 favorite restaurants. There are 50 other restaurants you've tried that are by all means good, but you still keep returning to those 1 or 2 for some particular reason. In the same way that you’re picky about your food, women are picky about their men. Don’t feel bad that you’re getting rejected so often. Women have their preferences, which is their own right and isn’t going to change, whatever you do. Important: in these cases, don't place the blame on yourself, because there is often nothing you could have done differently. In other words, it was not because you "were not confident enough," it was because your were too short. On to the next one that doesn't care!

In any case, I truly wish you success! Don’t compare yourself to tall people, compare yourself to short men and play the cards you’ve been given. As my father told me once, "Life is unfair; get over it"

PS: just as a sidenote, I once did some charity work overseas in a part of Asia, and met TONS of women that were very receptive to me. The average height is lower over there, and I saw many 4'11" men with beautiful and loving spouses. Just saying!!!

Just close this down! Seriously though, this thread definitely should have just ended right at this post. It's the most poignant statement for small people. What else is there to say? Everybody is just repeating themselves, working everyone else up, and now people are posting about getting a mail order bride or hitting up Nevada for some women of ill repute?? Life isn't fair. There are plenty of people out there with much worst luck than any of us. And my female friends have been setting me up with their friends, it's just that their friends have not been attracted to me. If your female friends aren't willing to introduce you to people they know, you have to question how shallow they really are.

Originally Posted by BeanDip4All

omg if you're seriously going down this route why not just enter into a long-term "arrangement" with a young co-ed to be your permanent girlfriend then.

my buddies in finance used to do this all the time. use craigslist or whatever. I'm sure you can figure it out. avoid "pros" ... pay their rent, buy them louboutins or something.

might be fun and i actually know a few guys who ended up getting married to their gals. mazel tov.

In usa this will yield you a 6/10 that will cost you like a 10/10. and in the end she might accuse you of something like soliciting prostitution or whatever might have caused her to snort crack and get arrested somewhere. in eastern europe this arrangement actually works. a girl just told me that her girl friend slept with a 60yo. not a pro..

Originally Posted by DocDanny

I mean look, I think some of you have the impression that I've been constantly rejected since I was 12. It's not like that.

I couldn't even WALK on my own til I was almost 15. And then I was painfully shy. On top of that, in college I suffered from bad depression and low self esteem. I couldn't even TALK to people.

It has only been in the past few years I've gotten my act together and felt like I actually had something to offer someone. I KNOW I'm amazing now. And I have gotten so much better at talking to women. I even had a date.

I'd rather continue on this path and actually see what happens when I get my own place and am around new people. I just have to be patient and keep working on myself. That sounds more physically and emotionally satisfying than whores and pity sex.

I really think I'm going about this the right way.

Have you read the book "Of Human Bondage"? short doctor with a clubfoot in 1900's london..

Go overseas man. You're not going to get a woman here. That is clear gentleman. Stop calling them mail-order brides. Listen to those audios/videos and make an educated decision.

edit

ha... this is a long thread.

OP: What is your passion outside of medicine? Do you like to hike? volunteer with animals? yoga? Go do activities that involve doing something you like and gathers people working together... you will meet women here... you share the same interests etc. Try getting into crossfit... lots of women there. good luck man

This thread is pretty hilarious. The guys pushing prostitution and mail-order brides coming out of the woodwork are just priceless.

Idk what the dating scene like where the OP and DD are from but in my midwestern college town my two shorter Asian classmates (one south, one easy) have been picking up hot undergrad coeds like nobody's business. They're both ~ 5'5". It's all about getting out there and talking to girls everywhere; coffee shops, bars, buses, whatever. If they aren't interested, move on to the next one. The shotgun approach is pretty damn effective.

Pof might not be a terrible idea either.

Originally Posted by blueclassring

Go overseas man. You're not going to get a woman here. That is clear gentleman. Stop calling them mail-order brides. Listen to those audios/videos and make an educated decision.

Fine.

Email-order brides.



Seriously, you're going to end up on an episode of SVU.

(I know it's canceled - entire series is on Netflix and Hulu now though...)

Drizz- I'm 5'0 and white. It'd be more helpful if you knew any guys as short as me being successful. A guy who is 5'5 TOWERS over me.

My Midwest college town is in Ohio. And your plan is spot on. My biggest problem now is just meeting people. I honestly have no idea where people my age congregate. Besides bars and night clubs.

OP here. Women are always going to say to your face what they feel is politically correct. But what happens when they are interviewed anonymously? Check the link to find out.

http://shine.yahoo.com/love-sex/top-...200900432.html

Spoiler alert: I love the only physical trait they list is also one that is the least subjective and impossible to control. I'm talking of course about height.

Actually, height is tied with not having enough money, and ranks below being too high maintenance.

I've said it before. You need professional help to get over this. It's not a knock on you. You are where I was at years ago. Dwelling on your height will get you nowhere.

You know OP, at first in this thread when I started to read it, I thought you were a reasonable fellow who honestly thinks that the reason who can't get a date is his height.
After a few posts I noticed that your height is not the reason but the fact that you are so CONDESCENDING towards women!
The things you say about them (or even think about them), women can smell that from a mile off!
You said and I quote: "They are gold diggers, only looking for money".
If that is your idea of women, you will only attract women who will only be interested in that.
It's either that or you're aiming wayyyy out of your league...

Now, something about me, female (29 years old atm), and I'm telling you I never had a date until I was 27. Guess who my first date was? A guy who used to be at the same high school as I was and that I hadn't spoken to for about 10 years!
I was a virgin up until I got into a relationship with him.
For the record, I am 5"5 and he is about 6"4. And...I couldn't care less about how tall he was. Also, he isn't "hot-as-hell" either, and I will tell you the reason I fell for him: His character. He is a nice, gentle bloke. Caring and sweet.
Oh and the reason why I broke up with him? When I got really ill (as in staying in the ICU, ill), he couldn't handle it. What I needed at that moment was a bloke that would be there for me, not someone who was getting angry at me for getting ill in the first place (believe me, I could not do anything about that). But that's beside the point.
What I'm indeed looking for in a guy is a nice character, someone who I feel comfortable spending time with, someone who is not condescending, oh and someone who doesn't lie. I HATE lying people!
I am confident that I will find someone else in the future. But for now I'm not looking and am way to busy enjoying my own life.

My advice to the OP; get some more respect for women and don't think that we are all the same. We are all different kinds, just like you guys are. Some might be "shallow" but there will be plenty of girls that are not.
Don't go for a 10/10 in the hotness scale if you are only a 5/10 (just an example, I can't "rate" you, I'm sure you can) but instead pick someone who is a 4/10 or even a 7/10. Get what I mean?

Originally Posted by Nadine02

You know OP, at first in this thread when I started to read it, I thought you were a reasonable fellow who honestly thinks that the reason who can't get a date is his height.
After a few posts I noticed that your height is not the reason but the fact that you are so CONDESCENDING towards women!
The things you say about them (or even think about them), women can smell that from a mile off!
You said and I quote: "They are gold diggers, only looking for money".
If that is your idea of women, you will only attract women who will only be interested in that.
It's either that or you're aiming wayyyy out of your league...

Now, something about me, female (29 years old atm), and I'm telling you I never had a date until I was 27. Guess who my first date was? A guy who used to be at the same high school as I was and that I hadn't spoken to for about 10 years!
I was a virgin up until I got into a relationship with him.
For the record, I am 5"5 and he is about 6"4. And...I couldn't care less about how tall he was. Also, he isn't "hot-as-hell" either, and I will tell you the reason I fell for him: His character. He is a nice, gentle bloke. Caring and sweet.
Oh and the reason why I broke up with him? When I got really ill (as in staying in the ICU, ill), he couldn't handle it. What I needed at that moment was a bloke that would be there for me, not someone who was getting angry at me for getting ill in the first place (believe me, I could not do anything about that). But that's beside the point.
What I'm indeed looking for in a guy is a nice character, someone who I feel comfortable spending time with, someone who is not condescending, oh and someone who doesn't lie. I HATE lying people!
I am confident that I will find someone else in the future. But for now I'm not looking and am way to busy enjoying my own life.

My advice to the OP; get some more respect for women and don't think that we are all the same. We are all different kinds, just like you guys are. Some might be "shallow" but there will be plenty of girls that are not.
Don't go for a 10/10 in the hotness scale if you are only a 5/10 (just an example, I can't "rate" you, I'm sure you can) but instead pick someone who is a 4/10 or even a 7/10. Get what I mean?

Wtf? this is exactly what has op in the position he's in in the first place. By your own admission you chose to date a scumbag who blamed you and fought with you when you got sick, so caring and sweet, and you just had to throw in the fact that he is 6'4" on top of it huh? Prime example of a woman saying one thing and doing another (I only care about personality not looks/ my only boyfriend has been a 6'4" scumbag who is not "hot as hell" implying you still think hes hot). And then you add on "but now I'm not looking for any and am way too busy enjoying my own life". Translation : "If a nice guy approaches me I will reject them like a cold hearted b. Unless they are hot, then I will jump their bones."

And you're seriously gonna finish up with calling him a 5/10 and telling him to date a 4? A FOUR? Dude is bout to be a doctor in a year or so and your telling him to date 4's (when I imagine a 4 I think of like a grotesque lunch lady or morbidly obese walmart shopper or something)? And then have the nerve to call him condescending?

How could he be a nice guy, so caring and sweet, and then abandon you when you needed him most, and actually got MAD at you for being sick?

That's not nice and caring. That's the exact opposite. This guy sounds like a complete tool.

It sounds to me that, of this guy was merely 5'5 but exactly the same, you would NEVER have dated him. You are proving the OP's point. I can only hope you are being sarcastic or satirical.

And when you say a physical 5 should date a 4 or lower, you sound even more superficial.

Sigh.

Originally Posted by DocDanny

How could he be a nice guy, so caring and sweet, and then abandon you when you needed him most, and actually got MAD at you for being sick?

That's not nice and caring. That's the exact opposite. This guy sounds like a complete tool.

It sounds to me that, of this guy was merely 5'5 but exactly the same, you would NEVER have dated him. You are proving the OP's point. I can only hope you are being sarcastic or satirical.

And when you say a physical 5 should date a 4 or lower, you sound even more superficial.

Sigh.

*sigh* You totally misread my post (and so did "Hopesanddreams" who I'm not even going to give an answer as he totally ripped me apart for no reason)

What I'm trying to say is: My ex was a jerk, which I only found out after he was so "nice" when I got sick. Previously of me being sick, he was a totally nice guy, I did not see that coming at all.
After what he did, I broke up with him.

I don't give a rat's ass whether he was 6"4 or 5"0 or whatever inbetween. I only added those figures of mine and his height for the OP. I couldn't care less about his height.
And no, my ex wasn't hot (nor am I), "hot" being referenced to as what the majority of people would think as "hot" as prescribed by the "photoshopped whatever happened to those pictures in magazines". Or as a 10/10.

I didn't mean to sound superficial, I'm trying to show to the OP that he might/or might not is trying to aim for a girl way out of his league.
Fact is, SOME girls are superficial. I am still trying to think of where the OP meets those girls that are trying to tell him that he's wayyy too short to date with them.
That is either a stupid lie, so they don't have to tell him what's really "wrong" with him, so they don't want to date with him. Or they are just not interested in him.

Again, at first I thought that the OP had just a bad case of not having enough self confidence, that happens, I had that for a good amount of time.
But then he starts talking about that girls are only gold diggers, in it for the money. Then I start to think that, if the only girls he meets are so called gold diggers, then maybe he is looking in the wrong environment.

To be honest, I couldn't care less if my future bf/husband is a doctor or a garbage man or a plumber or whatever. I have to be honest and say that I do like a man to be able to look after himself, as in he has his own job, not me having to look after him.
I'm also able to look after myself, don't want him to become dependant on me, or the other way round.

I'm trying to show the OP that not all girls are gold diggers, as he seems to think.

Hope I clarified myself, and instead of totally ripping me apart for no reason as Hopesanddreams did, please ask next time if something is not clear. I appreciate that.

Originally Posted by DocDanny

...
And when you say a physical 5 should date a 4 or lower, you sound even more superficial....

in all fairness beggars can't be choosers. One can't complain that he can't get dates and then have a notion that he should be able to do better. There's a 2 out there for everyone. A 10, not so much.

Originally Posted by Law2Doc

in all fairness beggars can't be choosers. One can't complain that he can't get dates and then have a notion that he should be able to do better. There's a 2 out there for everyone. A 10, not so much.

2x5 = 10

If you're handicapped, and not good looking forget about your chances of getting into the dating scene in general. Yes, we want to think that personalities matter, and in the end they matter. Yet, if you don't have average to decent looks you won't even get the audition. It's completely screwed up here. Why do think there are thousands to tens of thousands of 35-45 year old women on Eharmony,. Plenty of Fish, and OkCupid? Those women have either had their fun in their 20s messing around with the gym instructor, the rock star, sleep around like men, or spent years with the wrong guys. Now they want you Poindexter. They want a nice guy to settle down with, one who is successful and one who will take care of them. So you'll have plenty of 35-45 years old chasing you. Even if you are a good man, you should be a smart man you won't get with these women. Why reward bad behavior? They didn't want you when you were a poor student in med school, and now they want you when your "stock has gone up?" Child bearing years are almost gone. At 35, clock's ticking and then they start complaining they can't find a good man. Sorry, if you're a nice, successful guy This is what you have to look to.

Here's a video Called Nice Guys Finish Last. This kind explains it very crudely, but I've heard others talk about it in the same context. Welcome to your future as you keep working on your confidence. There's a lot of pissed off guys out there who aren't putting up with this crap. Join the movement. Enjoy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=61_R2...C2D0939FB99F17

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RDejt...hannel&list=UL

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=70L7q...feature=relmfu

I'm not having too much trouble with my looks, L2D. My problem is still confidence and being self conscious. Those are things that can be worked on.

We've all seen homely male doctors dating women who are knockouts.

Nobody should have to limit themselves to only date below average women. Just ask whoever you think is interesting, whether a 3 or a 10.

Originally Posted by DocDanny

...

We've all seen homely male doctors dating women who are knockouts...

you are pointing at outliers as if it's the norm. Its not. You are only noticing these disparities because they are atypical. In general, the short limping guy with no game and not much in the way of dating resume won't be the guy walking out of the bar with the knockout. But he could be the guy who gets his beer goggles on and turns a 2 into a 7.(and I'm not being sexist, the example works equally well for homely women who have their sites set too high). And maybe with a lot of work and makeover and dating experience, down the road he can be drinking 4s into 9s. But lets not get ahead of ourselves.

Just because 5'5" Spud Webb can dunk a basketball, doesn't mean every 5"5" man playing basketball can dunk a basketball. There are exceptions to everything, and they don't make the rule.

I understand your point. But IMO they aren't that atypical. I notice it because it happens fairly often. At least with the people I know here in the Midwest. It happened a few times within my own med class. I certainly wouldn't call them outliers. Of course, even if they were, maybe I could be that outlier. ;-)

I sincerely believe that confidence is much more important to most women than looks. Getting experience, confidence, and game are all things I can work on. I'm asking out many different types of women now to get that experience. The very few dates I've been on, I thought the women were quite good looking.

I really am a fairly good catch. I'd hate to think I'm doomed to have to drink a 2 into a 7 because I have a limp and no experience. I think I'll be ok in the long run!

"women in their late 30's & 40's still looking for mr perfect"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i_GzM...eature=related

She's in the 30's but she dates like she is 20

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XqN5N...eature=related

Dude, you sound like a spambot.

You know, I hadn't posted in this thread after my initial comment because I thought it had gotten a bit over-the-top with all the discussion of "international internet dating" and recommendations to visit professional sex workers, etc. But I'm really wondering - do the main contributors in this thread really not see how the discussion is framing women as a commodity rather than as individual human beings and that dual standards are being applied? A few posters seem to think earning an MD degree automatically launches them into a different level of desirability and don't want to "settle" for a woman on the same "level of attractiveness" scale (whatever subjective criteria defines that I'm not sure) as themselves.

Open invitation: to the "short guys" who are saying you can't get women to date you and it is because we're all just superficial gold diggers who just want a hot, tall guy to impress our friends, get your asses to Southeastern Tennessee and take me on a date. As a Yankee female General Surgery resident, I have a pretty good reputation for providing honest feedback/opinions without waiting for an invitation to do so and it actually takes some effort for me to be diplomatic. I'll let you know if it's your height or something else and I'll be sure to post my opinions here as well. You won't have to be concerned that the response will be politically-correct in any way.

WTF.

I don't think my MD is going to help me too much. The only thing it has done that has helped is it has made me more confident.

I've been saying that all along. That was my original advice to the OP, and is the most important thing someone can be if they want to date. And it has helped me a lot. I'm not entirely sure how I've been viewing women as a commodity.

Originally Posted by LucidSplash

You know, I hadn't posted in this thread after my initial comment because I thought it had gotten a bit over-the-top with all the discussion of "international internet dating" and recommendations to visit professional sex workers, etc. But I'm really wondering - do the main contributors in this thread really not see how the discussion is framing women as a commodity rather than as individual human beings and that dual standards are being applied? A few posters seem to think earning an MD degree automatically launches them into a different level of desirability and don't want to "settle" for a woman on the same "level of attractiveness" scale (whatever subjective criteria defines that I'm not sure) as themselves.

Open invitation: to the "short guys" who are saying you can't get women to date you and it is because we're all just superficial gold diggers who just want a hot, tall guy to impress our friends, get your asses to Southeastern Tennessee and take me on a date. As a Yankee female General Surgery resident, I have a pretty good reputation for providing honest feedback/opinions without waiting for an invitation to do so and it actually takes some effort for me to be diplomatic. I'll let you know if it's your height or something else and I'll be sure to post my opinions here as well. You won't have to be concerned that the response will be politically-correct in any way.

WTF.

I think it is ridiculous for a male doctor to date someone of the same level of attractiveness. Many do, but they have only themselves to blame. I understand as a female surgeon you want a male of the same level of attractiveness as you, whatever that means. "Golddiggers" is an offensive term which in reality just represents the fact that ALL women want a man who is financially stable/accomplished. Whether those women offer anything in return (good looks, good sex, cooking, raising kids) or not, they are still technically golddiggers. But I am sure since you are a female surgeon you think you are better or at least as good as a beautiful girl who has no career. Sorry, I got no problem with "golddiggers"... And I think you might like a guy that a beautiful "golddigger" hates and vice versa, but it does not mean that a guy must change to accomodate either of you.

Originally Posted by johnnydrama

2x5 = 10

I would really like to see the pic of your Gf and LawDoc's gf. What is so spectacular about you 2 is that you suggest that guys date a 2 and pretend she's a 7 or a 10, yet I'd be surprised if you're not taking your own advice! I guess it's good if you take your own advice when you counsel someone about losing weight. But not when you tell someone to go kill self

Originally Posted by Ballints

I would really like to see the pic of your Gf and LawDoc's gf. What is so spectacular about you 2 is that you suggest that guys date a 2 and pretend she's a 7 or a 10, yet I'd be surprised if you're not taking your own advice! I guess it's good if you take your own advice when you counsel someone about losing weight. But not when you tell someone to go kill self

We dont have to take our own advice if we dont have the same issues -- that misses the point. Every person has to find a date that isn't out of their league. So the guy who has never had a date and lacks confidence and is short, with a limp, etc is going to be competitive for a very different range than the guy who looks like Brad Pitt and has game. The sooner he realizes he can't be pining for a 10, the more likely good things can happen.

Originally Posted by Ballints

I would really like to see the pic of your Gf and LawDoc's gf. What is so spectacular about you 2 is that you suggest that guys date a 2 and pretend she's a 7 or a 10, yet I'd be surprised if you're not taking your own advice! I guess it's good if you take your own advice when you counsel someone about losing weight. But not when you tell someone to go kill self

Someone who has never had a girl express interest in him and is still a virgin at 28 despite no lack of trying cannot afford to be picky.

Beggars can't be choosers.

Originally Posted by DocDanny

Drizz- I'm 5'0 and white. It'd be more helpful if you knew any guys as short as me being successful. A guy who is 5'5 TOWERS over me.

My Midwest college town is in Ohio. And your plan is spot on. My biggest problem now is just meeting people. I honestly have no idea where people my age congregate. Besides bars and night clubs.

Coffee shops, libraries, buses, grocery stores etc.

And I'm sorry I can't be of more help, I don't know any guys who are 5' and don't have much perspective on this being 6' 1.

Originally Posted by drizzt3117

Coffee shops, libraries, buses, grocery stores etc.

And I'm sorry I can't be of more help, I don't know any guys who are 5' and don't have much perspective on this being 6' 1.

Things like cooking classes are good too. You'll meet people with similar interests and worst case scenario, you'll become a better cook.

I can just say that the guy trolling for those foreign websites provides a much better idea than the guys telling him to lower his standards. Lowering your standards to increase the quantity(not quality) of ***** is common sense. Just like "being more confident or good looking or rich",etc yields in higher quality. But it's not always possible or desirable to change those parameters. On the other hand seeking women abroad is very unconventional but actually yields practical results. You criticize that guy for advertising some shady websites, so why don't you find your own websites? facebook is open to other countries. just type in a name like inga and u get a list of girls that are open to talk to u.

Originally Posted by johnnydrama

Things like cooking classes are good too. You'll meet people with similar interests and worst case scenario, you'll become a better cook.

Ballroom dance, the gym, yoga, wine bars, etc also.

Originally Posted by Ballints

I can just say that the guy trolling for those foreign websites provides a much better idea than the guys telling him to lower his standards. Lowering your standards to increase the quantity(not quality) of ***** is common sense. Just like "being more confident or good looking or rich",etc yields in higher quality. But it's not always possible or desirable to change those parameters. On the other hand seeking women abroad is very unconventional but actually yields practical results. You criticize that guy for advertising some shady websites, so why don't you find your own websites? facebook is open to other countries. just type in a name like inga and u get a list of girls that are open to talk to u.

if you're gonna go that route, just hire an escort and watch out for the popo. I'd rather have a girl be up front about what she's using you for as opposed to being unsure if she's just there for her greencard or not.

Yeah, agreed this topic is going round and round. You guys have several options, it's up to you to exercise them. Good luck with the dating gentlemen!

So it seems like the options given are:

1) message random girls on Facebook, perhaps from other countries

2) get a mail order bride

3) hire a prostitute

4) optimize what they have to offer and meet women in the community

Hey man, sending you a PM in one sec.

Do not worry about your height! You are a doctor. I repeat: YOU ARE A DOCTOR. Not that you should be looking for a gold digger, but sometimes status is enough to draw someone in (sad but true) and intelligence/personality is enough to keep them. I often joke about "smart goggles." I'm a girl, and I know there are plenty of guys who have become great looking in my eyes once I find out how smart they are. Does that make sense? LOL.

A few other points:

1) 5'5 isn't all that short. Are you especially opposed to meeting an Asian girl? Many are much shorter than this.

2) I'm sure you're much better looking than you think. Confidence is key!

3) No shame in having this concern... I feel like I'm off the hook, so it's probably easy for me to talk. I got married at age 20 and am still married, so I've never really experienced the urgency regarding relationships/children that many of my peers in medicine face. But ignore the naysayers....even Cristina Yang wants a life partner. Heck, even Halsted was married!

Closing thread.

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