nice gestures you would appreciate

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I just started dating a great guy who is enrolled studying medicine.

He is always really busy studying or doing rotations and seems a bit stressed out lately. I'm not a grad student nor am I studying medicine so I don't completely understand the stress he is under.

What kind of nice gestures do you appreciate from your significant other? or What kind of gestures would you like your significant other to do so they can reduce your stress?

Thank you!

Dinner... being understanding... help shopping for groceries/etc...

Originally Posted by supportivegirl

I just started dating a great guy who is enrolled at Yale studying medicine.

He is always really busy studying or doing rotations and seems a bit stressed out lately. I'm not a grad student nor am I studying medicine so I don't completely understand the stress he is under.

What kind of nice gestures do you appreciate from your significant other? or What kind of gestures would you like your significant other to do so they can reduce your stress?

Thank you!

I dont want to kill your good intentions about supporting him, but always to have supportive role actually doesnt help much. As long as there is a natural balance, its ok. But if you and/or him feel a lack of natural balance, relieving efforts will keep it going only for some more time.

May this "...seems a bit stressed out lately..." come from an unbalance or is it really a temporary distress? Can you tell it?

I say the first word, lastly if its really a temporary distress, one of the best things is to listen to him (not to pretend, really to focus on his problems and listen, if possible "active listening"), a warm massage , some delicious food, some soft music... it goes on

Originally Posted by bidiboom

I dont want to kill your good intentions about supporting him, but always to have supportive role actually doesnt help much. As long as there is a natural balance, its ok. But if you and/or him feel a lack of natural balance, relieving efforts will keep it going only for some more time.

May this "...seems a bit stressed out lately..." come from an unbalance or is it really a temporary distress? Can you tell it?

I say the first word, lastly if its really a temporary distress, one of the best things is to listen to him (not to pretend, really to focus on his problems and listen, if possible "active listening"), a warm massage , some delicious food, some soft music... it goes on

The stress is from rotations and studying for exams. I try not to be overbearing and pushy with the kindness to keep the natural balance like you described. thank you!

Aren't they obvious?

Originally Posted by supportivegirl

I just started dating a great guy who is enrolled at Yale studying medicine.

He is always really busy studying or doing rotations and seems a bit stressed out lately. I'm not a grad student nor am I studying medicine so I don't completely understand the stress he is under.

What kind of nice gestures do you appreciate from your significant other? or What kind of gestures would you like your significant other to do so they can reduce your stress?

Thank you!

give him a bj

Originally Posted by J DUB

give him a bj

69 would work.

Guys! The question is not explicitly asking for "more than sex", but obviously there must be something more.

Give him some space. This is a personal experience. When I was dating this girl back in my 2nd year in medschool, all I want was some personal space for myself. Don't get me wrong. I really liked her and liked spending time with her. We had great times together. BUT sometimes I need some alone time for myself, to think, to study, to reflect and to appreciate what I was having.
Unfortunately that girl did not understand this concept, and needless to say I had to let her go. Until this day I still miss the times we had together, but I am glad that I did what I did.

Originally Posted by Gpan

Give him some space.

So combining the relevant answers so far we have:
1. Make him dinner
2. Give him a BJ
3. Then leave him alone.

Seems about right to me. You might want to print this out and post it so you remember all the steps.

Originally Posted by dynx

So combining the relevant answers so far we have:
1. Make him dinner
2. Give him a BJ
3. Then leave him alone.

Seems about right to me. You might want to print this out and post it so you remember all the steps.

Add an infinite loop and this guy is set for life.

Originally Posted by dynx

So combining the relevant answers so far we have:
1. Make him dinner
2. Give him a BJ
3. Then leave him alone.

Seems about right to me. You might want to print this out and post it so you remember all the steps.

This is hilarious! I don't know a single guy who this wouldn't please.

Second year is brutal as I recall. At least compared to first year. The tests come every two weeks instead of every month. So it doesn't leave much time for a breather.

My wife is a Gen Surg resident ( I'm not medical). So speaking strictly from a man's point of view. I would say never underestimate the power of patience and lingerie. Not necessarily in that order.

My brother is a fourth year, just guessing from the 30 pounds he put on since he started med school I'd say great meals are an excellent idea.

Keep fighting the good fight, speaking as a 7 year medical spouse veteran it can be insanely difficult, and at the same time very rewarding as well. Ive had some prestigious surgeons thank me and tell me I'm doing a great job supporting my wife, and they appreciate the sacrifices I make made me feel pretty damn special. On the other hand I've been to dinners and had attendings treat me like a had a disease. The "O' you're not in medicine-itis" "I must run away from you quickly lest I catch it"

Sorry, I got off topic. Keep up the good work.

Originally Posted by dynx

So combining the relevant answers so far we have:
1. Make him dinner
2. Give him a BJ
3. Then leave him alone.

Seems about right to me.

Originally Posted by Megatron2016

Add an infinite loop and this guy is set for life.

Yep. Any chick that could follow that sequence would be golden.

Originally Posted by dynx

So combining the relevant answers so far we have:
1. Make him dinner
2. Give him a BJ
3. Then leave him alone.

Seems about right to me. You might want to print this out and post it so you remember all the steps.

lol. OP- March 14th is right around the corner so you have the perfect night to implement this plan!

But seriously- the give him space one is a great idea. Try not to be high maintenance/needy. Sounds like you're really sweet and caring, it was nice of you to start this thread.

What I would NOT do is go all psycho like those Med School Wives who write blogs posting "oh WE are in med school, WE are studying so hard blah blah" when really it's just the guy in med school. *that* is uber lame.

Originally Posted by dynx

So combining the relevant answers so far we have:
1. Make him dinner
2. Give him a BJ
3. Then leave him alone.

Seems about right to me. You might want to print this out and post it so you remember all the steps.

I'd be happy.

Originally Posted by dynx

So combining the relevant answers so far we have:
1. Make him dinner
2. Give him a BJ
3. Then leave him alone.

Originally Posted by Holy FranZ

I'd be happy.

We both would be.

How bout doing some shopping, errands, etc. Usually lots of stuff is left undone in school.

My husband is about to start his 3rd year as a medical student and he always appreciates when I make a nice home-cooked meal. Make his favorite AND do the dishes. Helping out with chores is nice too. My husband appreciates it when he comes home and doesn't have to worry about doing his laundry and feeding the dogs. Also, check his schedule and find a time right after he takes a test. Use that time to go to a sporting event. Here in Dallas, we go watch a Mavericks game, but I don't know what teams are around Yale.

I'd say it depends on the guy.

Some times, you want to talk about your bad day (to someone who is not medical for a change)

Other times you want some space.

The secret is not to insist on one when there's a strong preference for the other

If he has errands or other stuff he doesn't like to do, take care of it for him.
Have some meals prepared for him to eat on the run.
Just be there and be supportive?

Originally Posted by dynx

So combining the relevant answers so far we have:
1. Make him dinner
2. Give him a BJ
3. Then leave him alone.

Seems about right to me. You might want to print this out and post it so you remember all the steps.

Sadly, Your advice is too simple for most people to follow.

Originally Posted by dynx

So combining the relevant answers so far we have:
1. Make him dinner
2. Give him a BJ
3. Then leave him alone.

Seems about right to me. You might want to print this out and post it so you remember all the steps.

LMAO. this is funny and it also seems right to me.

I ask them if they want uggs and an ipad