My story continues

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So, after taking into account everyone's advice I have been repeating my first year. I have been fairly unhappy with things and I spend most of my time fantasizing about doing something else with my life. I can still see myself as a doctor but can also see myself doing so many other things that I question why I should spend so many more years in school plus residency and be so far in debt (I am already very in debt) when I could be doing something else and making a living, starting my life so to speak. I feel as if my life is on hold now and will be for years to come if I continue in medicine. I am still young (25) and I have parents who support me in every way and a home to go home to (roof over my head, food etc., etc.).

So, yah, I am considering resigning as a medical student and trying something else. Then again, maybe I am just being a whiney lil' bitch and I need to suck it up. But then I thought about an old military saying, "when there is doubt, there is no doubt." You know, a man must be confident enough to abide by the strength of his convictions. Now, what are my convictions?.....

Originally Posted by palmpalm

So, after taking into account everyone's advice I have been repeating my first year. I have been fairly unhappy with things and I spend most of my time fantasizing about doing something else with my life. I can still see myself as a doctor but can also see myself doing so many other things that I question why I should spend so many more years in school plus residency and be so far in debt (I am already very in debt) when I could be doing something else and making a living, starting my life so to speak. I feel as if my life is on hold now and will be for years to come if I continue in medicine. I am still young (25) and I have parents who support me in every way and a home to go home to (roof over my head, food etc., etc.).

So, yah, I am considering resigning as a medical student and trying something else. Then again, maybe I am just being a whiney lil' bitch and I need to suck it up. But then I thought about an old military saying, "when there is doubt, there is no doubt." You know, a man must be confident enough to abide by the strength of his convictions. Now, what are my convictions?.....

First of all, you are in the pre-clinical years and have no experience with the clinical years. It is the clinical years that are indicative of what the medical profession entails. The pre-clinical years tend to mirror undergraduate school which is generally far different from the practice of medicine.

If you find that you hate seeing patients (you may want to spend some time doing some volunteer clinical work - perhaps with your faculty adviser), then you might be in a better position to make a more informed decision.

In short, you really haven't "tried" medicine in the sense that you have only done what you were doing in undergraduate (sitting in a classroom). You wouldn't be the first medical student to totally hate the pre-clinical stuff and find your footing during third year. With your repeat of first year, a strong second year, you stand a good chance of doing well on Step I and having a strong clinical year.

Don't burn your bridges behind you just because you have some frustrations at having to repeat first year and boredom might be a factor. Medicine and medical school are going to change drastically for you once year two has been completed.

Originally Posted by palmpalm

So, after taking into account everyone's advice I have been repeating my first year. I have been fairly unhappy with things and I spend most of my time fantasizing about doing something else with my life. I can still see myself as a doctor but can also see myself doing so many other things that I question why I should spend so many more years in school plus residency and be so far in debt (I am already very in debt) when I could be doing something else and making a living, starting my life so to speak. I feel as if my life is on hold now and will be for years to come if I continue in medicine. I am still young (25) and I have parents who support me in every way and a home to go home to (roof over my head, food etc., etc.).

So, yah, I am considering resigning as a medical student and trying something else. Then again, maybe I am just being a whiney lil' bitch and I need to suck it up. But then I thought about an old military saying, "when there is doubt, there is no doubt." You know, a man must be confident enough to abide by the strength of his convictions. Now, what are my convictions?.....

Hear, hear!

Medical school does elicit this.

Originally Posted by njbmd

First of all, you are in the pre-clinical years and have no experience with the clinical years. It is the clinical years that are indicative of what the medical profession entails. The pre-clinical years tend to mirror undergraduate school which is generally far different from the practice of medicine.


If you find that you hate seeing patients (you may want to spend some time doing some volunteer clinical work - perhaps with your faculty adviser), then you might be in a better position to make a more informed decision.



In short, you really haven't "tried" medicine in the sense that you have only done what you were doing in undergraduate (sitting in a classroom). You wouldn't be the first medical student to totally hate the pre-clinical stuff and find your footing during third year. With your repeat of first year, a strong second year, you stand a good chance of doing well on Step I and having a strong clinical year.

Don't burn your bridges behind you just because you have some frustrations at having to repeat first year and boredom might be a factor. Medicine and medical school are going to change drastically for you once year two has been completed.

Actually, I have a fair bit of clinical experience from before med school having had different jobs in clinical medicine and coming from a family with physicians in it. Also, I love the practice of medicine. I never said I don't. I think I would make a great physician and would enjoy practicing medicine very much. I never said otherwise.

I love seeing patients. I don't want to quit cause I don't want to be a doctor. I am thinking of quitting because I think I could be happy doing other things as well and I am not sure that all the crap is worth it.

I am also away from home and not enjoying that experience.

Perhaps I should clarify. I am not unhappy with the schooling itself. Just being away from home and not enjoying how I am living and what I am doing. The material is fine (albeit boring).

Originally Posted by palmpalm

I am not unhappy with the schooling itself. Just being away from home and not enjoying how I am living and what I am doing. The material is fine (albeit boring).

Sounds like your issues aren't directly related to medical school. Being away from home and how you're living are just central to life (unless your life plan involves living with your parents in your 30's). Sorry, I can't really relate as I couldn't wait to leave home when I went to undergrad...

Originally Posted by WellWornLad

Sounds like your issues aren't directly related to medical school. Being away from home and how you're living are just central to life (unless your life plan involves living with your parents in your 30's). Sorry, I can't really relate as I couldn't wait to leave home when I went to undergrad...

No, no, you misunderstood. I didn't say living by myself I said living far from home. I am used to living by myself. I've have my own apartment since I was 19. By home I mean my city and my country, where I am comfortable and all my connections are.

Originally Posted by palmpalm

No, no, you misunderstood. I didn't say living by myself I said living far from home. I am used to living by myself. I've have my own apartment since I was 19. By home I mean my city and my country, where I am comfortable and all my connections are.

No, that's what I thought you meant - living far from family. Maybe it's not so common in some countries to pick up and move, but in the U.S. it's not at all unusual to move across the country for a job or school. That's usually half the draw of college for most people (the people I know, anyway).

If it bothers you, isn't there a medical school in your country you could attend? Unless you plan on living near your family all your life, however, you'll have to get used to the distance sometime.

Originally Posted by palmpalm

Actually, I have a fair bit of clinical experience from before med school having had different jobs in clinical medicine and coming from a family with physicians in it. Also, I love the practice of medicine. I never said I don't. I think I would make a great physician and would enjoy practicing medicine very much. I never said otherwise.

I love seeing patients. I don't want to quit cause I don't want to be a doctor. I am thinking of quitting because I think I could be happy doing other things as well and I am not sure that all the crap is worth it.

I am also away from home and not enjoying that experience.

Perhaps I should clarify. I am not unhappy with the schooling itself. Just being away from home and not enjoying how I am living and what I am doing. The material is fine (albeit boring).

Guess what, I come from a family of ten physicians and I was both a medical school professor and respiratory therapist beffore medical school. I had no idea of what the practice of medicine entailed until I was actually doing it (in a limited manner) during third year. If you hate medicine and medical school then by all means quit while you are ahead but make no mistake, you don't know much about medical practice until you are actually doing some of it. Certainly, there are other professions and vocations out there that millions of folks enjoy on a daily basis. You have to do what "floats your boat" best. Make some adult decisions and do what is best for you.

Originally Posted by njbmd

Guess what, I come from a family of ten physicians and I was both a medical school professor and respiratory therapist beffore medical school. I had no idea of what the practice of medicine entailed until I was actually doing it (in a limited manner) during third year. If you hate medicine and medical school then by all means quit while you are ahead but make no mistake, you don't know much about medical practice until you are actually doing some of it. Certainly, there are other professions and vocations out there that millions of folks enjoy on a daily basis. You have to do what "floats your boat" best. Make some adult decisions and do what is best for you.

word.

I'm not sure I follow all your reasoning, but it sounds like you are truly unhappy with the present situation.

If you are confident that you would be happy as a doc, the real question is whether you are willing to put up with a situation that you don't like for a few more years. You are questioning whether this is all worth it; which is a very valid question. There is no way to predict the future, so that question really can't be answered.

I'd suggest sticking out the semester, and see how you feel in a few months. You already paid, so you might as well get your money's worth. Spend some time thinking about other career options. If you find something that seems like a better fit, it may in fact be.

Originally Posted by palmpalm

No, no, you misunderstood. I didn't say living by myself I said living far from home. I am used to living by myself. I've have my own apartment since I was 19. By home I mean my city and my country, where I am comfortable and all my connections are.

You're 25, not that young anymore. You can't hang around with your high school friends forever. Suck it up and stay in medical school, unless you have a firm definite plan of action for a different career that might suit you better.

Hey PalmPalm,
I remember your posts from last semester and am glad to hear that you decided to stick it out. It sounds like you enjoy certain aspects of medicine and to be honest... at this point that's enough. Sure, there are people in your class who are very ethusiastic and gung ho about medical school but just b/c you're not (yet) doesn't mean you made the wrong choice. You're 25 and you have to find a career eventually. An MD will allow you to pursue a job in a number of different fields, so keep that in mind. There are people out there who would literally kill to be in your position so despite all the crap you're putting up with just keep that in mind.
If you need another reason to suck it up during the first two clinical years just remember this latest economic crisis. A lot of ppl our age have just lost their high paying jobs and can't find work. You, on the other hand, have Fin aid, a student lifestlye, and a future career in one of the most secure professions in the world...not bad.

Originally Posted by WellWornLad

No, that's what I thought you meant - living far from family. Maybe it's not so common in some countries to pick up and move, but in the U.S. it's not at all unusual to move across the country for a job or school. That's usually half the draw of college for most people (the people I know, anyway).

If it bothers you, isn't there a medical school in your country you could attend? Unless you plan on living near your family all your life, however, you'll have to get used to the distance sometime.

Living in another country is just a liiiiiittle bit different than moving across the country. LOL.

Debt motivates me.

OP- what kind of other things would you do that would make you happy and also allow you to be home, and also pay off the huge debt? If being far away from home is an issue, apply to residency near home. You love medicine, and you've made that clear, so the issue right now is that you have a slight existential, homesick thorn on your back, that everyone has now and then. Life isn't easy, we all have road bumps, long roads to travel and a rite of passage to take. However, your destination seems to be one that you see yourself enjoying. Why risk it? But I agree with what has been said so far. Do what makes you happy. But keep in mind that going after your dream job is certainly no walk in the park (if its in a professional setting, dropping out of medical school may also look poorly and be a hindrance), finding such a job in a poor economy, the huge debt burden, amongst several other things may make your life more miserable than it would be if you stuck it out. If you're truly homesick and unhappy, than perhaps try to transfer to a school closer to home, though its rather difficult to do so.

I left school and moved back home. I like medicine itself and I still want to be a physician but living so far from home and without social support i was just miserable. in retrospect, i was depressed and barely functioning at the time (when I was posting this thread originally). my mental health was at stake and moving back home was the right thing to do. i am going to try to get into med school close to home now. I was so unhappy/mentally unhealthy then/there that I am surprised I lasted as long as I did. I actually saw a therapist at the time and I wrote him a letter now to let him know what is going on and he said:

"I was there to witness how hard you worked in medical school. I then and also now firmly believe that, although you worked
hard, life circumstances were very unfavorable for you. The relationship with your girlfriend was unhealthy and destructive.The lack of support from significant others and relative social isolation also played a significant role in undermining you."

I learned my lesson. Now I just hope I can use that lesson to my advantage.

It sounds like you have made the best decision for yourself. I hope that you are beginning to feel better. Good luck in the future.

Sorry about what happened to you. I am sure you can eventually find a career that is both rewarding and satisfying.

Originally Posted by palmpalm

I left school and moved back home. I like medicine itself and I still want to be a physician but living so far from home and without social support i was just miserable. in retrospect, i was depressed and barely functioning at the time (when I was posting this thread originally). my mental health was at stake and moving back home was the right thing to do. i am going to try to get into med school close to home now. I was so unhappy/mentally unhealthy then/there that I am surprised I lasted as long as I did. I actually saw a therapist at the time and I wrote him a letter now to let him know what is going on and he said:

"I was there to witness how hard you worked in medical school. I then and also now firmly believe that, although you worked
hard, life circumstances were very unfavorable for you. The relationship with your girlfriend was unhealthy and destructive.The lack of support from significant others and relative social isolation also played a significant role in undermining you."

I learned my lesson. Now I just hope I can use that lesson to my advantage.

Originally Posted by NewKidin2block

Sorry about what happened to you. I am sure you can eventually find a career that is both rewarding and satisfying.

I still want to do medicine I'm just going to apply to schools near my family.

Originally Posted by palmpalm

I still want to do medicine I'm just going to apply to schools near my family.

I really hope everything turns out fine for you but i hope you know youhave an uphill battle ahead of you in terms of getting accepted into another medical school.

Most schools, once they see that "PREVIOUSLY MATRICULATED" box checked on the application will just toss it into the rejected pile. i would advise you to talk to some people at whatever schools you plan to apply to and make sure that you get an opportunity to explain your situation.

Originally Posted by Mr hawkings

Most schools, once they see that "PREVIOUSLY MATRICULATED" box checked on the application will just toss it into the rejected pile.

Where did you hear that from?

Originally Posted by Mr hawkings

i would advise you to talk to some people at whatever schools you plan to apply to and make sure that you get an opportunity to explain your situation.

If not, it needs to be mentioned in your new personal statement or in a new LOR. I would also suggest speaking to your dean and asking if he/she can provide a letter on your behalf explaining your situation.

Good luck.

Originally Posted by Dr Roboto

Where did you hear that from?



If not, it needs to be mentioned in your new personal statement or in a new LOR. I would also suggest speaking to your dean and asking if he/she can provide a letter on your behalf explaining your situation.

Good luck.

I say it because i am one of the few people who will matriculate at 2 different schools. It took me 6 years to get another med school to even interview me and i was told by 1 adcom in particular (after the fact) that my application was not even considered because i had previously matricualted and that in her opinion, most other med schools had this unwritten policy.

The way i got around this was two-fold.

I went through other channels to talk to some Adcom members to explain my situation before reapplying. They made me write an official letter expalining everything in detail and what steps i have taken to correct things.

2. My former dean made some calls on my behalf to confirm my story and to say that she supported my application to the new school.

Even with this, the only school that gave me a second shot was affilated with my college and i personally knew attendings there who kinda annoyed the heck out of people to give me a shot.

Originally Posted by Mr hawkings

I say it because i am one of the few people who will matriculate at 2 different schools. It took me 6 years to get another med school to even interview me and i was told by 1 adcom in particular (after the fact) that my application was not even considered because i had previously matricualted and that in her opinion, most other med schools had this unwritten policy.

The way i got around this was two-fold.

I went through other channels to talk to some Adcom members to explain my situation before reapplying. They made me write an official letter expalining everything in detail and what steps i have taken to correct things.

2. My former dean made some calls on my behalf to confirm my story and to say that she supported my application to the new school.

Even with this, the only school that gave me a second shot was affilated with my college and i personally knew attendings there who kinda annoyed the heck out of people to give me a shot.

Thanks for the story. Nice to hear things worked out for you. If there's anyone's advice palmpalm should heed, it's yours.

Originally Posted by braluk

OP- what kind of other things would you do that would make you happy and also allow you to be home, and also pay off the huge debt? If being far away from home is an issue, apply to residency near home. You love medicine, and you've made that clear, so the issue right now is that you have a slight existential, homesick thorn on your back, that everyone has now and then. Life isn't easy, we all have road bumps, long roads to travel and a rite of passage to take. However, your destination seems to be one that you see yourself enjoying. Why risk it? But I agree with what has been said so far. Do what makes you happy. But keep in mind that going after your dream job is certainly no walk in the park (if its in a professional setting, dropping out of medical school may also look poorly and be a hindrance), finding such a job in a poor economy, the huge debt burden, amongst several other things may make your life more miserable than it would be if you stuck it out. If you're truly homesick and unhappy, than perhaps try to transfer to a school closer to home, though its rather difficult to do so.

I totally love how you worded that sentiment. That's very quotable!

Originally Posted by Mr hawkings

Most schools, once they see that "PREVIOUSLY MATRICULATED" box checked on the application will just toss it into the rejected pile. i would advise you to talk to some people at whatever schools you plan to apply to and make sure that you get an opportunity to explain your situation.

This is what I have also heard. I hope the OP carefully considered the possibility of returning to a US med school highly unlikely before he made his decision to withdraw. Keep us updated on your status.