What is SDN?

Forensic Chick · 07-11-2003, 04:27 PM

I, like UTH2003, have not started MS1 yet, but I have worked in an Emergency Dept for a year now. May I add that when stealing a Rx pad to fill it out correctly when turning it into the pharmacy the following day. They realize something is fishy when you write for "1.2 pounds of Mofin" (yeah, sound it out). Also, don't try to pierce yourself with a large gauge fishing hook (especially a prince albert) or decide that the medical equipment in your room is included in your stay; you really won't be able to use that chest tube that you try to stuff into your purse or the epistaxis clamp that you think would increase your sexual adventures. I totally stopped believing in "survival of the fittest" when I started working in the ED.......

Scrubbs · 07-13-2003, 10:59 AM

If you don't like dialysis, just stop going... its one of those optional things, right? Also, if your body swells up with anasarca, you feel crappy, you have a Hgb of 6 and your doctors tell you that you could bleed to death b/c you're in DIC, its ok to sign out AMA if you're tired. A good night's sleep at home will make it all better!

Febrifuge · 07-14-2003, 10:54 AM

I am also pre-med, and yet (no offense to UTH2003) I am not making this up; I don't need to. I volunteer in an inner-city ED.

1) Mosquito bites itch. A lot. Really, really bad. So much in fact that, what the heck, you may as well go on in to the Emergency Department.

Did I mention they really itch? Bad?

2) Under no circumstances should you apply calamine, or benadryl lotion, or really anything at all, to try to alleviate the itching. It's not like you can just get that kind of miracle drug at the store. Much better to just come on in.

3) If you've been triaged, you've been to see the ED admissions folks, and then you need to wait all of 30 minutes before being able to see a doctor, well shoot, that's too long. Just tell the staff you appreciate it all the same, but you need to go.

This patient saved the county some cash by eloping, so that earns them a tiny sliver of respect. I wonder how their insurance will like that charge for the triage, though...

ERMudPhud · 07-15-2003, 08:23 AM

I've seen the mosquito bite patient too but even better I once spent a day snowboarding and forgot to wear sunscreen. I got an absolutely blistering sunburn. A coworker picked up a chart and said, "oh, K****, you should see this one." The chief complaint was sunburn. I went in and said, "Hi, I'm Dr. M*****. How can I help you?" to a patient who wasn't burned nearly as badly as I was. Without even making eye contact the sniveling, crying patient began telling me about their horrible, painful sunburn. In mid sentence they happened to look up at me, said, "Oh!" and stopped crying.

DrQuinn · 07-15-2003, 09:01 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by ERMudPhud
I've seen the mosquito bite patient too but even better I once spent a day snowboarding and forgot to wear sunscreen. I got an absolutely blistering sunburn. A coworker picked up a chart and said, "oh, Kevin, you should see this one." The chief complaint was sunburn. I went in and said, "Hi, I'm Dr. Merrell. How can I help you?" to a patient who wasn't burned nearly as badly as I was. Without even making eye contact the sniveling, crying patient began telling me about their horrible, painful sunburn. In mid sentence they happened to look up at me, said, "Oh!" and stopped crying.

tee-hee!

Febrifuge · 07-15-2003, 10:08 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by ERMudPhud
I've seen the mosquito bite patient too but even better I once spent a day snowboarding and forgot to wear sunscreen. I got an absolutely blistering sunburn. A coworker picked up a chart and said, "oh, Kevin, you should see this one." The chief complaint was sunburn. I went in and said, "Hi, I'm Dr. Merrell. How can I help you?" to a patient who wasn't burned nearly as badly as I was. Without even making eye contact the sniveling, crying patient began telling me about their horrible, painful sunburn. In mid sentence they happened to look up at me, said, "Oh!" and stopped crying.

Brilliant. Just brilliant. You, sir, get the propz.

Hayduke · 07-17-2003, 04:41 AM

When your 15yo daughter gives precipitous delivery to a bleating, underweight infant 30 minutes after presenting to triage c "gas pains", you should run around the department loudly yelling, "I don't know what y'all did or who that baby is, but my lil' girl warn't pregnant when she come in here"

streetdoc · 07-17-2003, 07:16 PM

i can't resisit sharing
if you are going to have a leg amputated in a car accident be very sure that the neighborhood dog is not lurking in the area...they tend to take what they can get. even legs!
what a nght...

streetdoc

**docB** · 07-18-2003, 09:27 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by ERMudPhud
I've seen the mosquito bite patient too but even better I once spent a day snowboarding and forgot to wear sunscreen. I got an absolutely blistering sunburn. A coworker picked up a chart and said, "oh, Kevin, you should see this one." The chief complaint was sunburn. I went in and said, "Hi, I'm Dr. Merrell. How can I help you?" to a patient who wasn't burned nearly as badly as I was. Without even making eye contact the sniveling, crying patient began telling me about their horrible, painful sunburn. In mid sentence they happened to look up at me, said, "Oh!" and stopped crying.

Truly cool. I wouldn't suggest this same approach with stab wounds or STDs.

When I was a resident I had an attending who was so sick one night she was having to excuse herself during her histories to go vomit. On toward about 2am she asked me to cover everything for an hour so she could lie down. She had a nurse stick an IV in her and soaked up IV fluid for and hour and then went back to work. She would put her white coat over her IV and do her thing then go back to her desk and plug in while she charted. Crazy.

mikecwru · 07-19-2003, 05:26 PM

Alcohol, table saws, and flannel shirts do not mix.

mike

TMarkus · 07-20-2003, 06:03 PM

Never underestimate the power of a small laser dot on the chest
(emitting from the cops gun) to calm down an unruly patient. It was the easiest four point restraint ever!

Scrubbs · 07-20-2003, 08:24 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Hayduke
When your 15yo daughter gives precipitous delivery to a bleating, underweight infant 30 minutes after presenting to triage c "gas pains", you should run around the department loudly yelling, "I don't know what y'all did or who that baby is, but my lil' girl warn't pregnant when she come in here"

That's so West Philly!! I've heard a couple of similar stories about people giving birth and then saying, "That baby ain't mine!"

edinOH · 07-25-2003, 12:49 PM

On my very first shift as a resident I learned that patients wait until shift change to code. This lady had been in the ED for about 4 hours and was in the process of being admitted to the unit. Then, right as we are getting ready to leave she decides to go into vfib. I think she did it just to piss us off.

mikecwru · 07-25-2003, 07:10 PM

... if you're not happy with the speed of your nurses and discharge process, it's a good idea to go up to the desk every 5 minutes and ask what's taking them so long. They'll go even faster if you start throwing things and telling everyone to **** off.

mike

mikecwru · 07-25-2003, 07:12 PM

... whenever you have a 30+ year old guy in the room and here's there with his mom, things cannot be good/easy.

mike

DrQuinn · 07-25-2003, 07:25 PM

When you try to steal the otoscope from the WALL UNIT, make sure to unhook the power wire that attaches the scope to the base. Having a wire run from the wall unit to your pocket isn't as smooth as you think at 11:30 PM in the ED.

Q, DO

~~Chode~~ · 07-26-2003, 10:41 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by docB
Tonight I learned yet another helpful life lesson from one of my patients. If you're on the street corner selling coke and you see the cops coming to bust you don't eat all your coke. Having been taught this valuable lesson I will now know better than to do this and wind up going to the ER in handcuffs, seizing uncontrollably, aspirating my vomit and doing all of this with a white powder moustache looking like and ad for "Got Coke?"

shame. what a waste of good blow

aspiration : tastes so nice I inhaled it twice!

good ET tube will fix that....
dirtballs get the med student intubation

emedpa · 07-26-2003, 11:17 AM

it's ok to smoke at home as long as you do it outside when the kids are home even after all 4 of them have recurrent om with multiple ent visits and surgeries and asthma requiring frequent ed visits and maintenance steroids......

Annette · 07-26-2003, 01:51 PM

It's ok to leave AMA to go have a cigarette while you are actively infarcting, especially if I haven't had to do the H+P yet.

EMIMG · 07-27-2003, 03:43 AM

When you are a recent home hospice patient due to end stage COPD, and you are on home oxygen, it is OK to go and light a cigarette and have it flash up and burn your face.

It is then OK to have your family call EMS for you.

Furthermore, while EMS is getting there, it is OK to go agonal and eventually code with no specific No-code instructions.

So, it is OK for EMS to bring the patient into the hospital where the patient is PEA on the monitor (thankfully the family was there and confirmed his DNR wishes).

Then, to top it all off, when you call the ME to report the case, and tell them that the patient is in hospice, the ME still says that they have to bring the body in becasue of the "trauma" that the guy sustained while lighting the cigarette on oxygen.

~~Chode~~ · 07-27-2003, 12:58 PM

the big rush usually occurs after Jerry Springer finishes at 2 AM.
There is a late bus that brings in all those folks with chronic complaints, that had a very busy day.

Jenny Jones
ricki Lake
Judge Joe Brown
Judge Judy
Oprah
Re-runs of Fresh Prince.

YEs, it's tough to make it in for your back pain times 5 years, when you have such a busy schedule.

Thank God for the ill of the world that it's basically only infomercials after 2 AM. They'd never seek treatment!

~~Chode~~ · 07-27-2003, 12:58 PM

We prefer the Term AMF to AMA...

Adios Mother fu**er!

m and m · 07-31-2003, 01:59 PM

HO HO

I liiiike it!

Nurse, please make sure they sign the AMF form before they go.

16846 · 08-02-2003, 03:23 PM

Make sure to have your boyfriend re-insert the same 12" dildo that was taken out of your ?booty? with twice as much force this time after it was in there for a few hours and was forcibly removed by the ED personnel 2 hours ago because surely the hole is now open enough that it won't get stuck a second time...

emdoc21 · 08-04-2003, 11:54 AM

Learned from a patient last week.....

Injecting a mixture of wine, Klonopin, and Lidocaine into your veins may seem like a cool idea at the time when you're wasted, but can leave a nasty phlebitis a few days later.

07-11-2003, 04:27 PM	#51
Forensic Chick Senior Member Status: Pre-Medical Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: California Posts: 380	SDN Members don't see this ad. I, like UTH2003, have not started MS1 yet, but I have worked in an Emergency Dept for a year now. May I add that when stealing a Rx pad to fill it out correctly when turning it into the pharmacy the following day. They realize something is fishy when you write for "1.2 pounds of Mofin" (yeah, sound it out). Also, don't try to pierce yourself with a large gauge fishing hook (especially a prince albert) or decide that the medical equipment in your room is included in your stay; you really won't be able to use that chest tube that you try to stuff into your purse or the epistaxis clamp that you think would increase your sexual adventures. I totally stopped believing in "survival of the fittest" when I started working in the ED....... __________________ "Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment."

07-13-2003, 10:59 AM	#52
Scrubbs Chisellers beware! Status: Attending Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: NeverNeverLand Posts: 764	If you don't like dialysis, just stop going... its one of those optional things, right? Also, if your body swells up with anasarca, you feel crappy, you have a Hgb of 6 and your doctors tell you that you could bleed to death b/c you're in DIC, its ok to sign out AMA if you're tired. A good night's sleep at home will make it all better! __________________ Official Clothing Supplier of SDN! Not all who wander are lost... JRR Tolkien

07-15-2003, 08:23 AM	#54
ERMudPhud Gone for now Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 1,071	I've seen the mosquito bite patient too but even better I once spent a day snowboarding and forgot to wear sunscreen. I got an absolutely blistering sunburn. A coworker picked up a chart and said, "oh, K**, you should see this one." The chief complaint was sunburn. I went in and said, "Hi, I'm Dr. M***. How can I help you?" to a patient who wasn't burned nearly as badly as I was. Without even making eye contact the sniveling, crying patient began telling me about their horrible, painful sunburn. In mid sentence they happened to look up at me, said, "Oh!" and stopped crying. __________________ ERMudPhud

07-20-2003, 06:03 PM	#61
TMarkus Member Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Bellingham Posts: 59	Never underestimate the power of a small laser dot on the chest (emitting from the cops gun) to calm down an unruly patient. It was the easiest four point restraint ever! __________________ Troy Markus AZCOM 2007 "What is missing from todays physicians is the willingness to be not only scholarly investigators, but also poets, philosophers, and priests."

07-26-2003, 11:17 AM	#68
emedpa Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Lunch on the Summit Posts: 3,518	it's ok to smoke at home as long as you do it outside when the kids are home even after all 4 of them have recurrent om with multiple ent visits and surgeries and asthma requiring frequent ed visits and maintenance steroids...... __________________ Emergency Medicine P.A., EMT-P 23 Years working in EM

What is SDN?

Communities

Nonprofit Organization

Find It

Usual Stuff

07-14-2003, 10:54 AM	#53
Febrifuge Grizzled Old Newcomer Join Date: May 2003 Posts: 1,521	I am also pre-med, and yet (no offense to UTH2003) I am not making this up; I don't need to. I volunteer in an inner-city ED. 1) Mosquito bites itch. A lot. Really, really bad. So much in fact that, what the heck, you may as well go on in to the Emergency Department. Did I mention they really itch? Bad? 2) Under no circumstances should you apply calamine, or benadryl lotion, or really anything at all, to try to alleviate the itching. It's not like you can just get that kind of miracle drug at the store. Much better to just come on in. 3) If you've been triaged, you've been to see the ED admissions folks, and then you need to wait all of 30 minutes before being able to see a doctor, well shoot, that's too long. Just tell the staff you appreciate it all the same, but you need to go. This patient saved the county some cash by eloping, so that earns them a tiny sliver of respect. I wonder how their insurance will like that charge for the triage, though...

07-17-2003, 04:41 AM	#57
Hayduke Member Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: canyonless wasteland Posts: 181	When your 15yo daughter gives precipitous delivery to a bleating, underweight infant 30 minutes after presenting to triage c "gas pains", you should run around the department loudly yelling, "I don't know what y'all did or who that baby is, but my lil' girl warn't pregnant when she come in here"

07-17-2003, 07:16 PM	#58
streetdoc Senior Member Status: Resident Join Date: May 2002 Location: Land O Lakes Posts: 680	i can't resisit sharing if you are going to have a leg amputated in a car accident be very sure that the neighborhood dog is not lurking in the area...they tend to take what they can get. even legs! what a nght... streetdoc

07-19-2003, 05:26 PM	#60
mikecwru M.D. = Massive Debt Status: Attending Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Ohio Posts: 947	Alcohol, table saws, and flannel shirts do not mix. mike

07-25-2003, 12:49 PM	#63
edinOH Can I get a work excuse? Status: Attending Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 768	On my very first shift as a resident I learned that patients wait until shift change to code. This lady had been in the ED for about 4 hours and was in the process of being admitted to the unit. Then, right as we are getting ready to leave she decides to go into vfib. I think she did it just to piss us off.

07-25-2003, 07:10 PM	#64
mikecwru M.D. = Massive Debt Status: Attending Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Ohio Posts: 947	... if you're not happy with the speed of your nurses and discharge process, it's a good idea to go up to the desk every 5 minutes and ask what's taking them so long. They'll go even faster if you start throwing things and telling everyone to **** off. mike

07-25-2003, 07:12 PM	#65
mikecwru M.D. = Massive Debt Status: Attending Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Ohio Posts: 947	... whenever you have a 30+ year old guy in the room and here's there with his mom, things cannot be good/easy. mike

07-25-2003, 07:25 PM	#66
DrQuinn My name is Neo Join Date: Dec 2000 Location: Washington, DC Posts: 4,162 Blog Entries: 1	When you try to steal the otoscope from the WALL UNIT, make sure to unhook the power wire that attaches the scope to the base. Having a wire run from the wall unit to your pocket isn't as smooth as you think at 11:30 PM in the ED. Q, DO

07-26-2003, 01:51 PM	#69
Annette gainfully employed Status: Attending Join Date: Aug 1999 Location: The Land of Lincoln Posts: 1,423	It's ok to leave AMA to go have a cigarette while you are actively infarcting, especially if I haven't had to do the H+P yet. __________________ Is malingering a billable code?

07-27-2003, 03:43 AM	#70
EMIMG Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 127	I've learned When you are a recent home hospice patient due to end stage COPD, and you are on home oxygen, it is OK to go and light a cigarette and have it flash up and burn your face. It is then OK to have your family call EMS for you. Furthermore, while EMS is getting there, it is OK to go agonal and eventually code with no specific No-code instructions. So, it is OK for EMS to bring the patient into the hospital where the patient is PEA on the monitor (thankfully the family was there and confirmed his DNR wishes). Then, to top it all off, when you call the ME to report the case, and tell them that the patient is in hospice, the ME still says that they have to bring the body in becasue of the "trauma" that the guy sustained while lighting the cigarette on oxygen.

07-27-2003, 12:58 PM	#71
~~Chode~~ Banned Join Date: Jul 2003 Posts: 140	the big rush usually occurs after Jerry Springer finishes at 2 AM. There is a late bus that brings in all those folks with chronic complaints, that had a very busy day. Jenny Jones ricki Lake Judge Joe Brown Judge Judy Oprah Re-runs of Fresh Prince. YEs, it's tough to make it in for your back pain times 5 years, when you have such a busy schedule. Thank God for the ill of the world that it's basically only infomercials after 2 AM. They'd never seek treatment!

07-31-2003, 01:59 PM	#73
m and m Member Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 25	HO HO I liiiike it! Nurse, please make sure they sign the AMF form before they go.

08-02-2003, 03:23 PM	#74
16846 Guest Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 10,811	Re: Things I Learn From My Patients Make sure to have your boyfriend re-insert the same 12" dildo that was taken out of your ?booty? with twice as much force this time after it was in there for a few hours and was forcibly removed by the ED personnel 2 hours ago because surely the hole is now open enough that it won't get stuck a second time...

08-04-2003, 11:54 AM	#75
emdoc21 Member Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 70	Learned from a patient last week..... Injecting a mixture of wine, Klonopin, and Lidocaine into your veins may seem like a cool idea at the time when you're wasted, but can leave a nasty phlebitis a few days later.

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
Things I Learn from My Patients.	loo	Pre-Pharmacy	611	12-23-2009 03:39 PM
Things I learn On TV that I didn't learn in medical school	group_theory	Osteopathic	15	06-23-2008 06:41 PM
tips on key things to learn from patients?	bulldog	Step I	4	08-03-2005 04:27 AM
How can pre-DO's learn that it's all about the patients not the letters!	gojonn	Pre-Medical Osteopathic [ DO ]	2	07-04-2005 08:30 AM