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- Jun 18, 2002
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As I sit here with COMLEX scores that tickle the mean, subpar USMLE scores and not a single interview invite for my dream residency I ponder where I went wrong.
I didn't want to come in here to dash anyone's dreams or tell you to avoid DO schools I just wanted to speak out loud as if I could give myself advice four years ago hoping someone in my situation thinks a little harder than I did.
While there are complex details I'll surely leave out (mostly personal/relationship related) here it my story:
I was a pro in high school and was accepted to a prestigious University in my hometown. I took extremely difficult science courses and setup a very aggressive four years of undergraduate work. My grandmother died and my girlfriend of 2 years dumped me at the same time as ORGO I started my sophomore year- as it was no surprise I could not keep up with University-setting ORGO I with the drama that was occurring and withdrew from the class. In the end I was able to retake and pass (barely) and finished up with a science GPA that was average (around 3.0 if I remember) and my overall around 3.2.
The MCAT killed me. I took the Kraplan course for the first go at it and got a 23 with great science scores and a verbal of 6. I retook, I raised my science scores and scored a 3 on verbal for a 22 the second time. Obviously no single MD school would consider me with those two scores. More forgiving DO schools (3) interviewed me and one actually accepted.
I managed to fight the inner struggle of being an MD-wannabe and always was the question about the quality of my education. I embraced osteopathic manipulation and took it very seriously compared to many of my classmates. I was a DO student and it was my medicine. Still I worried.
I passed anatomy (survived the weed-out) with a 78. Obtained mostly B's with as many C's as I did A's. My second year was mostly B's. By Jan-Feb of my second year I was already doing USMLE/COMLEX questions on a limited basis and reading from books. I knew early I wanted to be competitive with my MD colleagues, have great scores and vie for respectable residencies- prove to myself I hadn't received a crappy education. To move ahead I had written off and labeled myself as "a bad test taker" to rationalize my incompetency with the MCAT and undergrad performance.
I studied hard for the COMLEX step I and USMLE step I which is UNWISELY scheduled 8 days apart (which for someone like me was certainly idiot and death). I got a 182/75 on the USMLE and a 490/79 (the mean) on the COMLEX. Tears, anger, frustration as I'll never ever forget where I was when I opened that USMLE score report and my heart broke knowing I'd totally scrapped all chances of being taken seriously by good residency programs.
I picked myself up and convinced myself that my real strength was my people skills (seeing the trend?) and managed to do quite well my 3rd and 4th year. I studied twice as hard and infinitely smarter (thanks to my wife and HER school advisor's) and managed to pull my USMLE step 2 up to 210/85 and COMLEX up to 547/85. Still not achieving my goal but settling my mind a little bit about where I stand with MD students (remember my concern about quality of education).
So now to present time. I sit here having completely fooled myself into thinking I can beg, steal, claw my way into a residency using some back door despite my board scores. Unfortunately my passion lay within one of the top 5 most competitive residencies. I have not, and reality being told, will not be receiving any interviews for my specialty despite spending more than 20 weeks doing elective away rotations at 5 different programs. Devastating doesn't even describe it. This is the first time in my 20 year academic career that I FINALLY know what I want to spend the rest of my life doing and I have to deal with all the self-deception and failures of my past.
So what would I have done differently? Ahh beautiful hindsight...
In my personal opinion if any of the above sounds like you stop what you are doing, go find a beautiful field by yourself somewhere and reflect on your decision to go to medical school. My #1 reason to rush into anything that had the words "medical" and "school" in the name was student debt I didn't thinK I could handle if I turned down an acceptance to work and reapply.
Which brings me to my next point. IF you think you might have convinced yourself you might be a "bad test taker" go get a hobby and continue onto academia. I highly recommend getting an MPH or nearly any Masters degree. Get away from tests, learn to read, research, raise grades, study for MCATs properly, etc.
Osteopathic schools, sadly, are in it for the money 100%. I can't blame anyone but myself for my board scores or grades however. There are plenty of my classmates who rocked the USMLE as DO students- it is possible, you just have to have your head on straight. I certainly do not.
In summary, my lessons learned.
#1: Don't rush the process. Don't chase the dream so hard you refuse to recognize your own weaknesses which need correcting before embarking on this incredible journey; medical school.
#2: Don't worry about money unless you go into medical school. IMO it is completely indisputable that our education investment:return ratio is the lowest overall and I'm NOT just talking money
#3: If you find yourself saying "I'm a bad test taker" or "what I lack in intelligence I make up for in people skills" STOP! If you have high standards and expectations for yourself and your career this mode of thinking will dog you and lead you in all directions except the one you want (unless you want to be a broke FP).
#4: Study hard, very hard, harder than your hardest if you're like me and tend to struggle (see, still can't stop making excuses), your responsible for your own education and there is no hand-holding in this profession- only lawsuits when it comes to accountability.
#5: Take the USMLE if you desire more than the crap DO residencies out there (to be fair probably 80-90% are crap with the 10% exception). DO's are hardly discriminated against anywhere anymore however most PD's will tell you that in applicant fields of 1000's providing an orange when everyone has nice shiny apples doesn't help you.
#6: If you find yourself needing to setup more than 2 away elective "audition" rotations start asking questions about how real you are being with yourself and your chances.
#7: Relationships happen and certainly complicate situations. Your happiness is what should drive what you envision for your future- do not let others dictate that vision or get in the way of your goals. Support is a two-way street
#8: If you heart is set on MD school- hold out. Get 10 masters degree's if you have to. Don't live a regret.
EDIT: OMG- I almost forgot the most important lesson of all which I'll make 9 AND 10 because it something everyone everywhere should know from the start - TEST SCORES ARE ALL THAT MATTER - there are too many applications to programs whether it be medical school or residency and understandably they have to begin somewhere. Establish top notch scores by whatever means possible (except cheating of course).
I'm sure I'll think of more to say and edits will be frequent.
Good luck to the applicants this year, I hope you are all doing this for the right reason. The process is too long and too hard not to.
I didn't want to come in here to dash anyone's dreams or tell you to avoid DO schools I just wanted to speak out loud as if I could give myself advice four years ago hoping someone in my situation thinks a little harder than I did.
While there are complex details I'll surely leave out (mostly personal/relationship related) here it my story:
I was a pro in high school and was accepted to a prestigious University in my hometown. I took extremely difficult science courses and setup a very aggressive four years of undergraduate work. My grandmother died and my girlfriend of 2 years dumped me at the same time as ORGO I started my sophomore year- as it was no surprise I could not keep up with University-setting ORGO I with the drama that was occurring and withdrew from the class. In the end I was able to retake and pass (barely) and finished up with a science GPA that was average (around 3.0 if I remember) and my overall around 3.2.
The MCAT killed me. I took the Kraplan course for the first go at it and got a 23 with great science scores and a verbal of 6. I retook, I raised my science scores and scored a 3 on verbal for a 22 the second time. Obviously no single MD school would consider me with those two scores. More forgiving DO schools (3) interviewed me and one actually accepted.
I managed to fight the inner struggle of being an MD-wannabe and always was the question about the quality of my education. I embraced osteopathic manipulation and took it very seriously compared to many of my classmates. I was a DO student and it was my medicine. Still I worried.
I passed anatomy (survived the weed-out) with a 78. Obtained mostly B's with as many C's as I did A's. My second year was mostly B's. By Jan-Feb of my second year I was already doing USMLE/COMLEX questions on a limited basis and reading from books. I knew early I wanted to be competitive with my MD colleagues, have great scores and vie for respectable residencies- prove to myself I hadn't received a crappy education. To move ahead I had written off and labeled myself as "a bad test taker" to rationalize my incompetency with the MCAT and undergrad performance.
I studied hard for the COMLEX step I and USMLE step I which is UNWISELY scheduled 8 days apart (which for someone like me was certainly idiot and death). I got a 182/75 on the USMLE and a 490/79 (the mean) on the COMLEX. Tears, anger, frustration as I'll never ever forget where I was when I opened that USMLE score report and my heart broke knowing I'd totally scrapped all chances of being taken seriously by good residency programs.
I picked myself up and convinced myself that my real strength was my people skills (seeing the trend?) and managed to do quite well my 3rd and 4th year. I studied twice as hard and infinitely smarter (thanks to my wife and HER school advisor's) and managed to pull my USMLE step 2 up to 210/85 and COMLEX up to 547/85. Still not achieving my goal but settling my mind a little bit about where I stand with MD students (remember my concern about quality of education).
So now to present time. I sit here having completely fooled myself into thinking I can beg, steal, claw my way into a residency using some back door despite my board scores. Unfortunately my passion lay within one of the top 5 most competitive residencies. I have not, and reality being told, will not be receiving any interviews for my specialty despite spending more than 20 weeks doing elective away rotations at 5 different programs. Devastating doesn't even describe it. This is the first time in my 20 year academic career that I FINALLY know what I want to spend the rest of my life doing and I have to deal with all the self-deception and failures of my past.
So what would I have done differently? Ahh beautiful hindsight...
In my personal opinion if any of the above sounds like you stop what you are doing, go find a beautiful field by yourself somewhere and reflect on your decision to go to medical school. My #1 reason to rush into anything that had the words "medical" and "school" in the name was student debt I didn't thinK I could handle if I turned down an acceptance to work and reapply.
Which brings me to my next point. IF you think you might have convinced yourself you might be a "bad test taker" go get a hobby and continue onto academia. I highly recommend getting an MPH or nearly any Masters degree. Get away from tests, learn to read, research, raise grades, study for MCATs properly, etc.
Osteopathic schools, sadly, are in it for the money 100%. I can't blame anyone but myself for my board scores or grades however. There are plenty of my classmates who rocked the USMLE as DO students- it is possible, you just have to have your head on straight. I certainly do not.
In summary, my lessons learned.
#1: Don't rush the process. Don't chase the dream so hard you refuse to recognize your own weaknesses which need correcting before embarking on this incredible journey; medical school.
#2: Don't worry about money unless you go into medical school. IMO it is completely indisputable that our education investment:return ratio is the lowest overall and I'm NOT just talking money
#3: If you find yourself saying "I'm a bad test taker" or "what I lack in intelligence I make up for in people skills" STOP! If you have high standards and expectations for yourself and your career this mode of thinking will dog you and lead you in all directions except the one you want (unless you want to be a broke FP).
#4: Study hard, very hard, harder than your hardest if you're like me and tend to struggle (see, still can't stop making excuses), your responsible for your own education and there is no hand-holding in this profession- only lawsuits when it comes to accountability.
#5: Take the USMLE if you desire more than the crap DO residencies out there (to be fair probably 80-90% are crap with the 10% exception). DO's are hardly discriminated against anywhere anymore however most PD's will tell you that in applicant fields of 1000's providing an orange when everyone has nice shiny apples doesn't help you.
#6: If you find yourself needing to setup more than 2 away elective "audition" rotations start asking questions about how real you are being with yourself and your chances.
#7: Relationships happen and certainly complicate situations. Your happiness is what should drive what you envision for your future- do not let others dictate that vision or get in the way of your goals. Support is a two-way street
#8: If you heart is set on MD school- hold out. Get 10 masters degree's if you have to. Don't live a regret.
EDIT: OMG- I almost forgot the most important lesson of all which I'll make 9 AND 10 because it something everyone everywhere should know from the start - TEST SCORES ARE ALL THAT MATTER - there are too many applications to programs whether it be medical school or residency and understandably they have to begin somewhere. Establish top notch scores by whatever means possible (except cheating of course).
I'm sure I'll think of more to say and edits will be frequent.
Good luck to the applicants this year, I hope you are all doing this for the right reason. The process is too long and too hard not to.