I have dated only black men but not necessarily by choice. White men never approach me and I find I have never even had close white male friends. I have a lot of anxiety about approaching white men because of what I think they'll think of me just because of my skin color- that I'm overly sexual, aggressive and the other many negative stereotypes about black women. I'm pretty cool, attractive and good natured but I'm also very proud of my heritage and beliefs. I must date someone who has similar principles (ie., No republicans). I went to predominantly white private schools my whole life so I'm comfortable being around white people and have female friends of all races. I have been accepted to an HBCU and am having a hard time choosing between that and another school I like. I am worried about where I would fit in best and be happy. I also don't want to be single forever.
. That said is there something I can do to make me appear more receptive to men from other races? I don't like the idea of getting rejected in public - it has never happened with a black guy but I'm convinced that's what would happen if I approach a white guy. Unfortunately I haven't approached many guys at all so my game is probably lame
People stereotype other people no matter what they look like--blonds are dumb, Asians girls are prude, black girls are overly sexual, Hispanics are emotional. However, you know those stereotypes just aren't true, so put them out of your mind because I seriously doubt that is what stops white guys from asking out black girls. When I talk to my white guy friends, the reason they usually are apprehensive about asking a pretty black girl (such as yourself) out is that they think they will be denied because they are white. People are more likely to ask someone of a different race out if they see interracial couples around. I think that's why there are so many white guy/Asian girl couples. One just perpetuates the other.
You should be proud of your heritage and beliefs. Those are what define you. If you feel like you are hiding or con promising your beliefs to be with someone, that is not a healthy relationship. I talk about "black" issues whenever I feel like it with my bf. I even asked him, "Why are white people so crazy?" Just like I would with a black bf. Nothing should change.
My super-Afrocentric friend was dating a white guy for a long time. I was really surprised about this because it seemed like they would have nothing in common. In fact they did, more than with her current black bf. She met her ex at a jazz club when he asked her to dance. Now, this was pretty bold because a)the jazz club had a lot of black men in it, b) he couldn't really dance, and c) by her dreads, head wraps, and other accessories so looks like she should be at a black power protest every day. He was confident and put himself out there, and he was rewarded (her phone number) for his actions. Not all guys (of any race) would do this. They are just as afraid of being denied as we are. You should keep that in mind.
I only applied to school in urban areas (except for UVa) because I'm sick of being the only black person I see (only in the mirror) on a regular basis. I think its good that you are taking into account the social makeup of the school (HBCU vs. mostly white) you will be attending. However, med school is only four years so if that other school is markedly better, for whatever reason, you should still seriously consider going there. Even if you attend a HBCU, you still might end up single. Maybe you won't like any of the guys, they might be involved with someone else already, or whatever. You might end up meeting some white guy on the way to school one day and date him throughout school. There is no way to know the future, all you can do is improve your odds.
Here is my advice (you can take it or leave it...I definitely don't take my own sometimes):
All things being equal, go to the HBCU, you'll probably date at least one person in the four years that you are there. It seems like you are not really comfortable with the idea of dating a white guy, and since not being single is important to you, you will be putting yourself at a disadvantage by attending a mostly white school or...
Go to the other school, and start Internet dating. You can get your feet wet a little at a time through chatting online, and then meet them. For the black guys you meet, even better, for the white guys, you can ease into it. Maybe start now in your area or in the area around the school. See who you meet. My friend just moved in NYC for residency, but was having trouble meeting guys because of her hours, location, and shyness. She went online (match.com) and meet a few people, but really ended up connecting with a resident at a different hospital and field, and now they are dating!!!
Do you approach guys ? (initiate a conversation at a bookstore, coffeeshop, club, bar, store, etc.)
How do you usually do it? (lets talk about your game)
Do you think your thoughts on it being more likely you are rejected by a white guy than black have do with self-esteem issues? (I don't mean this in a weird way. Dating is hard on your self-esteem, and stepping outside of your comfort zone is HARD).
Are you at all worried that you won't fit in at a HBCU because of your longtime experience being the minority in school?
Anything is possible, but not everything is probable. Increase your odds in ways you feel OK about.