Go Back   Student Doctor Network Forums > Pre-Medical Forums > Pre-Medical Allopathic [ MD ]

Pre-Medical Allopathic [ MD ] Premedical student discussion forum RSS: Feed Icon


Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 06-23-2008, 04:10 PM   #1
CA-1
 
Depakote's Avatar
 
Status: Resident
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: SOCMOB
Posts: 20,777
Physician Rocket Scientist SDN Senior Moderator SDN Life Member hSDN Member hSDN Alumni SDN 7+ Year Member
Default Depakote's Personal Statement Guide/Tips


SDN Members don't see this ad. (About Ads)
First let me apologize to everyone that already submitted their AMCAS applications. Yes, it's late June, this is too late to help those of you that got your stuff in early. That said... STOP READING HERE IF YOU HAVE ALREADY SUBMITTED. There's no sense in looking for mistakes/beating yourself up if you've already pulled the trigger.

Second, I am doing this as a service to Pre-Allo, drawing on the statements I have read over the past few years and the many mistakes I made composing my own personal statement(s). Unfortunately, I do not have time to edit personal statements this year. If you contact me, I will have to politely refuse... just telling you now.


On to the issue at hand.

I know most of you are scientists, not writers. But you should still be able to pull off some of these basics.

Themes

A personal statement works best if it has some unifying element to pull it together. This doesn't have to be an overt parable, just something simple that you can allude to in your intro and conclusion showing a nice point A->B flow of ideas.
A rudimentary example of this would be equating your path to medicine to a growing child and your significant experiences developmental milestones (like learning to talk, going to school, etc. with medicine being your final destination and the child striking out on his/her own.) Side note: Don't do what I did (I'm not even linking you to it), that was a bit of a 3rd round Hail Mary that paid off.

Intro and conclusion
I was always one for the flashy hook intro. But there's a fine line between a hook and melodrama. It's ok to draw the reader into a scene using descriptive and vibrant language, but make sure what you're discussing is worth the attention it's getting. Basically, don't try to make a papercut sound like a severed artery.

Conclusion, refer to the theme you set up in your intro and restate your answer to the "why medicine?" question (which you answered through the body of the personal statement) using your thematic imagery.

What should you be discussing?
This is where most pre-meds start missing the mark. Your personal statement is supposed to demonstrate your personal motivation for a career in medicine. You should answer the "why medicine?" question and give your best support possible. What many, many, many pre-meds do is fall into the Extra-Curricular trap. Rather than discussing why they are motivated to pursue medicine they simply state that they are motivated and then start talking about their extra-curricular activities. (I've done it, and it happened frequently in statements I helped edit) If the EC shows up in your ECs section and you talked about it there, there's no need to talk about the details of what you did in your personal statement. I'm pretty sure performing bench research counting drosophila did little to help your motivation to become a physician, don't throw in a line telling me it did just so you can remind me about that 4 weeks of research experience you've got.

you want to cut anything that does not directly address the following:
  • intro
  • "why medicine?"
  • support for "why medicine?"
  • any problems/gaps in education along the way that really should be addressed in PS
  • conclusion


This doesn't mean your ECs are off limits, it just means that you should discuss specific experiences that actually affected your motivation. It's better to use a single detailed example and illustrate how it drove you to medicine than to try to say you did X here which made you want to be a doc, then did Y there which made you want to be a doc, etc.

Other Mistakes:
-You are a pre-med. In general it is a bad idea to tell the admissions committee what makes a good Med Student/Doctor. You may identify your own positive qualities and say they will help you, but don't start defining what makes a good "doctor" that's their job.

-Don't belittle yourself. Your personal statement is a time to show your good qualities, if you must address negative aspects of your application, do so, but watch for passive and negative wording that hurts the way you represent yourself.

-Don't bash other schools/teachers/doctors/etc. This is a big no-no. You may have disagreements with another institution/party but the best way to handle this situation is to objectively present the facts and let the admissions committee draw their own conclusions. If you start criticizing an institution, it makes them wonder if you'd criticize them like that after you leave their school. Not a huge incentive to accept you.

-Don't work other agendas. "Why Medicine?" is enough. You can mention an interest in research or other career goals (public health, etc) if you want to perform that, but don't spend a paragraph talking about socialized medicine, abortion, stem cell reseach, or other issues in medicine that do not directly affect your application.

-Try to keep an open mind. It's fine to have an inkling of what you might want to do after you graduate, but be aware of the fact that you'll probably change your mind a few times in med school. It would be unwise to base your personal statement on a career goal of pediatric cardio-thoracic surgery.

-Recognize your own self-unimportance. This goes along with the papercut comment above, don't portray your role to be anything more significant than what it was. People weren't looking to you with awe and heart-felt gratitude after you gave them a band-aid.

-Previous mistakes:
If you've made mistakes previously, own up to them and take responsibility. Don't try to blame someone else or something else. You want to show that you've moved on and matured. Don't try to make excuses.

-Cliches:
Yes, avoid making cliche statements, but you don't need to pretend you're going into medicine because you think your reasons might be cliche. Most pre-meds are motivated for the same reasons (wanting to help people, love science, early experience with medicine, etc). You don't need a unique reason, just try to discuss it in a way that is unique as possible.



Other Advice:
Wording:
-Don't use the word "fascinating". Probably 80% of statements I reviewed last year used it, very cliched and got to be vomit inducing.

Technical:
-just use a single line between paragraphs, don't try to indent
-don't use more than 1 space between sentences (no one will notice and this is a huge character saver)
-re-read it for any sentences that could be re-worded more efficiently, then have someone else do it. Brevity is key.

Reads:
-Get your PS into as many hands as possible before you submit it, have your mom, brother, school's writing center, adviser, dog, everyone look at it if possible. You want good, honest feedback from multiple sources.
Here's the 2008-2009 Personal Statement reader's thread:
http://forums.studentdoctor.net/showthread.php?t=332624

Other sources of PS advice, the Official PS Guide:
http://forums.studentdoctor.net/showthread.php?t=375844


I'll edit in more advice if any occurs to me. If anyone else has thoughts, feel free to contribute.
__________________
<a href=http://forums.studentdoctor.net/forumdisplay.php?f=517/ target=_blank><blockquote>]
Why live in pain? Ask your doctor if Dilaudid is right for you.

Last edited by Depakote; 09-11-2009 at 01:44 PM. Reason: added cliches and previous mistakes/ typo
Depakote is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-23-2008, 08:04 PM   #2
Member
 
ejay286's Avatar
 
Status: Pre-Medical
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 1,429
SDN 5+ Year Member
Default

Bump, this is a good thread that seems to be getting overlooked.
ejay286 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-23-2008, 08:15 PM   #3
"The Mac Guy"
 
TheRealMD's Avatar
 
MDApps: View Profile
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Houston, Texas
Posts: 4,777
SDN 5+ Year Member
Default

Just one thing I'd like to add on: Even when you have the ideas for your personal statement pretty well fleshed out, you are likely to rewrite the actual words many times. Do not feel attached to "good sentences" you wrote days ago when you need to integrate it well with newer stuff. Save those sentences in a separate file since that CAN be useful later.

Oh, and like what Depakote said, once it's submitted, never look at it again. Ever.
__________________
University of Texas at Austin Class of 2008
Baylor College of Medicine Class of 2012
TheRealMD is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-23-2008, 08:16 PM   #4
Senior Member
 
TamarMD's Avatar
 
Status: Pre-Medical
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 248
SDN 2+ Year Member
Default

Thanks for bumping it. How early should someone start writing their personal statement?
Posted via Mobile Device
__________________
USF Graduating Class of 2010


"I heard that dreams are illegal in the ghetto". So illegal that people don't even bother to go to sleep anymore. What's a slumber without dreams? My dreams are what take me higher.
TamarMD is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-23-2008, 08:17 PM   #5
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 443
SDN 2+ Year Member
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Depakote View Post
-You are a pre-med. In general it is a bad idea to tell the admissions committee what makes a good Med Student/Doctor. You may identify your own positive qualities and say they will help you, but don't start defining what makes a good "doctor" that's their job.

I think all your advice is excellent except for the point quoted above. I highly doubt "good" doctors know whether they are good doctors and the same goes for med students. The only people qualified to speak about the quality of a doctor are his/her patients. I'm sure all of you have had good doctors and bad doctors, and are very aware of the qualities that exemplify both. Just throwing in my two cents.
enjoydrywax is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-23-2008, 10:32 PM   #6
Not really lazy
 
lazymed's Avatar
 
Status: Resident
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 926
SDN 2+ Year Member
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by enjoydrywax View Post
I think all your advice is excellent except for the point quoted above. I highly doubt "good" doctors know whether they are good doctors and the same goes for med students. The only people qualified to speak about the quality of a doctor are his/her patients. I'm sure all of you have had good doctors and bad doctors, and are very aware of the qualities that exemplify both. Just throwing in my two cents.

Actually patients have no idea what makes a doctor good or bad. I'd bet that most patients would judge a doctor mainly on manners, looks, humor, sensitivity... even if he was the worst doctor in the world (yes, knowledge and competency actually play a role). Finally, I think Depakote was trying to say that generally other doctors know if their colleagues are good or bad doctors, not the pre-med applicant.
lazymed is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-23-2008, 10:42 PM   #7
Member
 
Status: Pre-Medical
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 52
SDN 2+ Year Member
Default

I've read some friends PS's this year and I feel like I need to throw this in.

Please try to write like a normal person. By this, I mean don't use flowery sentence structure or verbage you'd use for academic papers in this essay.

Have you written a research paper? Is it published? Remember the language you used there? that's the type of language you don't want to use here.

Stick to simple sentence structures and BE UPFRONT. You want to make the reader do either of two things: feel like they got what you said and don't have to read it again, or make them genuinely want to read it again because they thought it was good. You do not want to make them feel like they need to read it again because they didn't get what you were saying the first time or because they spaced out halfway through.

Looking back, I think most/half of your time should have been spent in planning and brainstorming. Don't rush into writing the essay.
Nemethyst is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-24-2008, 07:28 AM   #8
☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠
 
s1lver's Avatar
 
Status: Pre-Medical
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: ☝☜☟☞☝
Posts: 563
SDN Life Member SDN 2+ Year Member
Default

Saved for future use...
s1lver is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-24-2008, 07:33 AM   #9
Senior Member
 
Status: Pre-Medical
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: TX
Posts: 576
SDN 2+ Year Member
Default

Thank you so much Depakote. Reading through people's personal statements I feel that writers get too caught up in the writing process and are unable to actually express themselves.
Don't try to use your vocabulary, just write, if you try to impress people your PS comes off as fake and difficult to read.
Also try to avoid cliches... Even if you feel that certain way the AdComs will not understand how you feel. Use your own words to express yourself.
__________________
_____________ School of Medicine Class of 2013 (ish)!
rowerlauren is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-26-2008, 08:24 AM   #10
CA-1
 
Depakote's Avatar
 
Status: Resident
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: SOCMOB
Posts: 20,777
Physician Rocket Scientist SDN Senior Moderator SDN Life Member hSDN Member hSDN Alumni SDN 7+ Year Member
Default

I forgot these so I'll go ahead and edit them in above:

-Previous mistakes:
If you've made mistakes previously, own up to them and take responsibility. Don't try to blame someone else or something else. You want to show that you've moved on and matured. Don't try to make excuses.

-Cliches:
Yes, avoid making cliche statements, but you don't need to pretend you're going into medicine because you think your reasons might be cliche. Most pre-meds are motivated for the same reasons (wanting to help people, love science, early experience with medicine, etc). You don't need a unique reason, just try to discuss it in a way that is unique as possible.
Depakote is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-26-2008, 11:14 AM   #11
High School Student
 
metalhead1023's Avatar
 
Status: Post-Doc
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 216
hSDN Member SDN 2+ Year Member
Default

bump, you guys should sticky this
metalhead1023 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-26-2008, 09:32 PM   #12
Al the Ass Mod
 
MilkmanAl's Avatar
 
Status: Resident
MDApps: View Profile
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Little Rock, AR
Posts: 12,050
Physician SDN Assistant Moderator hSDN Member hSDN Alumni SDN 5+ Year Member
Default

I'm tired at the moment, but I'll throw in my 2 cents tomorrow. There are quite a few problems that were present in almost all of the statements I read this cycle. In case it wasn't obvious, this is a disguised bump.
__________________
"Since when has not being beer ever stopped someone?" - TheRealMD

Just call me Princess.

Help out other students! Review your school and leave interview feedback: http://www.studentdoctor.net/schools/
MilkmanAl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-27-2009, 09:56 PM   #13
Newbie
 
watifimnot's Avatar
 
Status Pre-Medical
MDApps: View Profile
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Brooklyn
Posts: 8

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by rowerlauren View Post
I feel that writers get too caught up in the writing process and are unable to actually express themselves.

So true. I have the worst writer's block. I keep editing myself in my head!!
Hopefully the end result is worth the pain.



Those were excellent tips btw.
watifimnot is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-10-2009, 02:45 PM   #14
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 575
SDN 2+ Year Member
Default

great post
sv3 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-11-2009, 06:25 AM   #15
Guest
 
njbmd's Avatar
 
Status Attending
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Gone Walkabout!
Posts: 9,063
SDN Emeritus Moderator Follow My Twitter SDN 5+ Year Member
Default

I will add that you don't need to spend more than a sentence or two addressing any mistakes. If you received on or two grades that were less than B, don't address these at all. As an applicant to medical school, you are not expected to be perfect. If asked about those grades in an interview, give an explanation then but don't use your valuable personal statement space rehashing your transcript and trying to offer excuses for your grades.

Your personal statement is the one place where you have total control over content. Use that content to try to present yourself in a manner that will allow members of an admissions committee to get to know you and to want to meet you. I can tell you from experience, reading why you received a C in Organic Chemistry is not going to induce me to want to meet you or get to know you period.

The same thing goes for MCAT retakes. In general, one retake is probably OK and will speak for itself as you figured out your problems and scored well. This is a positive that will stand on its own without explanation. If you are sitting there with two or more retakes, your personal statement is not the place to try to "explain" these. Again, they will speak for themselves. Since they will not say much that is positive, don't mention this type of stuff in your PS. There is nothing that you can say that will "explain" why you kept taking this exam without correcting your mistakes.

The OP has given you some excellent advice if you are starting out. If you have submitted, then your situation " is what it is." You will find out how good your statement is when it is either successful or not. Should you not gain acceptance, rework your statement even if you are "in love with it". If your application didn't work the first time, change everything that you can so that it works the second time. Don't sit there hoping that no one read it and that you can just hit the resubmit button. That action sends a message that you don't want to send.
njbmd is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-20-2010, 12:40 PM   #16
-Account Deactivated-
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 4,247
SDN 2+ Year Member
Default

Bump, getting around that time again.

Also, milkman never contributed his 2c!
__________________
-Account Deactivated-
loveoforganic is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-20-2010, 05:10 PM   #17
~Harm None~
 
Daedra22's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 700
SDN 2+ Year Member
Default

I'd like to add my (small) token of advice... to those who were inspired to get into medicine through hardship/tragedy, be sure to make your PS a net positive. Personally, my PS started out very dark, and eventually became "brighter" as I re-wrote it; instead of coming off like a sad narrative, it became a hopeful narrative. It worked pretty well for me.
__________________
Rural Family Med [] Psych [] Pain Management [] Peds [] OB-GYN [] Family [] Surgery [] Internal []

"Allow the world to live as it chooses, and allow yourself to live as you choose." - Richard Bach
Daedra22 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-14-2010, 03:45 PM   #18
hit it, H
 
erskine's Avatar
 
Status: Pre-Medical
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 242
SDN 2+ Year Member
Default

what kind of tone should we adopt for writing the PS?

for instance, is it all right to inject some humor into it? Not knock-knock jokes or "a guy walks into a bar" setups, but maybe just interesting/amusing views?

Or is a serious PS better applicable?
__________________
"The first question which you will ask and which I must try to answer is this, 'What is the use of climbing Mount Everest ?' and my answer must at once be, 'It is no use'. There is not the slightest prospect of any gain whatsoever.... So, if you cannot understand that there is something in man which responds to the challenge of this mountain and goes out to meet it, that the struggle is the struggle of life itself upward and forever upward, then you won't see why we go.” - George Mallory
erskine is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-15-2010, 01:54 PM   #19
the evil queen of numbers
 
LizzyM's Avatar
 
Status: School Admin
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Top Secret
Posts: 12,500
Faculty SDN 7+ Year Member
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by erskine View Post
what kind of tone should we adopt for writing the PS?

for instance, is it all right to inject some humor into it? Not knock-knock jokes or "a guy walks into a bar" setups, but maybe just interesting/amusing views?

Or is a serious PS better applicable?
Consider your audience. You will be writing for people between the ages of 25 and 85 (I'm not kidding). Most will be physicians and medical students but not all - the adcom includes professors of the basic sciences (histology, anatomy, etc) and non-scientists (bioethics, medical humanties, professional education). What one person finds funny may be odd or even offensive to someone else. Some self-deprecating humor in a story might be ok but to be sure run it by everyone from your roommate to your roommate's grandmother just to be sure.
__________________
If you can smell patients, it is a clinical experience.
LizzyM is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-15-2010, 03:32 PM   #20
UCSF '14
 
FutureScaresMe's Avatar
 
Status: Pre-Medical
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: San Francisco
Posts: 343
SDN 2+ Year Member
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by MilkmanAl View Post
I'm tired at the moment, but I'll throw in my 2 cents tomorrow. There are quite a few problems that were present in almost all of the statements I read this cycle. In case it wasn't obvious, this is a disguised bump.
Been almost 2 years. Still waiting for those 2 cents.
FutureScaresMe is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-15-2010, 03:52 PM   #21
Al the Ass Mod
 
MilkmanAl's Avatar
 
Status: Resident
MDApps: View Profile
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Little Rock, AR
Posts: 12,050
Physician SDN Assistant Moderator hSDN Member hSDN Alumni SDN 5+ Year Member
Default

And it's looking like you'll continue to wait...forevah!
MilkmanAl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-11-2010, 07:59 PM   #22
SDN Senior Moderator
 
JJMrK's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 12,372
SDN Senior Moderator SDN 5+ Year Member
Default

Bump for usefulness.
JJMrK is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-25-2010, 03:27 PM   #23
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 54
SDN 2+ Year Member
Default PS Dilemma

So I have spent the last few months touching up my PS to "perfection", a million people have read it including an English professor who told me that it was good and to use it... So what's the dilemma?

My advisor told me to change it. That is what.

My PS focused on my humanistic desires in medicine (human contact connection etc. In other words, I did not discuss my extensive research background or upward trend GPA. I have been under the impression that the PS does not "stand alone" to represent you but goes along to supplement the application as a whole. Research is important to me but doesn't that already show with a superb letter from my PI with over 2 years of research, multiple presentations, a thesis, an award and a publication? Do I need to rehash it in my PS and talk about why that is another reason that I am motivated to become a physician?

Any advice is much appreciated and if you would like to see my PS just PM me. Thanks everyone! And wonderful thread!
NateM is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-25-2010, 03:45 PM   #24
in denial
 
Dianyla's Avatar
 
Status: Pre-Medical
MDApps: View Profile
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 1,391
SDN 5+ Year Member
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by NateM View Post
So I have spent the last few months touching up my PS to "perfection", a million people have read it including an English professor who told me that it was good and to use it... So what's the dilemma?

My advisor told me to change it. That is what.

My PS focused on my humanistic desires in medicine (human contact connection etc. In other words, I did not discuss my extensive research background or upward trend GPA. I have been under the impression that the PS does not "stand alone" to represent you but goes along to supplement the application as a whole. Research is important to me but doesn't that already show with a superb letter from my PI with over 2 years of research, multiple presentations, a thesis, an award and a publication? Do I need to rehash it in my PS and talk about why that is another reason that I am motivated to become a physician?

Any advice is much appreciated and if you would like to see my PS just PM me. Thanks everyone! And wonderful thread!
Sounds like your PS is great so far. You have space to address research in the ECs, the upward GPA trend gets documented in Coursework section of AMCAS.

I think it's a complete waste of precious PS characters to talk about things that are listed elsewhere in your application. The only exception to this would be if you have some particularly bad academic skeletons in the closet that need to be qualified with information about what was happening in your life at the time.
__________________
scruffy undercat
waits outside the medschool door
scratching and meowing
Dianyla is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-25-2010, 04:21 PM   #25
CA-1
 
Depakote's Avatar
 
Status: Resident
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: SOCMOB
Posts: 20,777
Physician Rocket Scientist SDN Senior Moderator SDN Life Member hSDN Member hSDN Alumni SDN 7+ Year Member
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by NateM View Post
So I have spent the last few months touching up my PS to "perfection", a million people have read it including an English professor who told me that it was good and to use it... So what's the dilemma?

My advisor told me to change it. That is what.

My PS focused on my humanistic desires in medicine (human contact connection etc. In other words, I did not discuss my extensive research background or upward trend GPA. I have been under the impression that the PS does not "stand alone" to represent you but goes along to supplement the application as a whole. Research is important to me but doesn't that already show with a superb letter from my PI with over 2 years of research, multiple presentations, a thesis, an award and a publication? Do I need to rehash it in my PS and talk about why that is another reason that I am motivated to become a physician?

Any advice is much appreciated and if you would like to see my PS just PM me. Thanks everyone! And wonderful thread!
My personal take is that it sounds like you're on the mark when you're discussing your desires and goals. You're telling the reader about you, not about things you've done. I wouldn't rehash experiences you discuss in your ECs section of your application.
Depakote is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-25-2010, 04:34 PM   #26
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 300
SDN 2+ Year Member
Default

I agree with Depakote. I'd be willing to read through your PS and give you some feedback.

And for the record, my personal statement sounds similar to yours. I did not include anything about my extensive research in the PS, but I wrote a solid summary of it in the EC section. That seemed to be effective.

Last edited by justinbaily; 05-25-2010 at 04:47 PM.
justinbaily is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-25-2010, 11:06 PM   #27
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 54
SDN 2+ Year Member
Default

Thanks all for the positive feedback! It is tough when I have almost everyone praise my PS and then my advisor tell me to redo it - I value her opinion very much. I guess I will stick to my guns and instinct and take a risk... Hopefully all goes well... Best of luck to you all!
NateM is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-27-2010, 03:00 PM   #28
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 8

Default Wording of problems to include in PS

Hey everyone - Thank you so much for all of your information on writing personal statements! Also, Thank you to all the readers. I have read over many suggestions, and this may be somewhat of a specific question, but I need to ask it. In my application, there is a significant downward trend in grades. I do take responsibility for this, but also feel I must address this in my personal statement. In someone's opinion, is there a particular strategy that works best for this? For example, I started writing my explanation and right now it seems too cliche - "I had personal lessons to learn". I'm trying to reach into my heart and find both an honest and mature way of tackling this, but just wanted to throw it out there and see if anyone had any advice. Sorry if this comes across as annoying - I know writing a PS is a very serious task.

Thank you all!
innocentmed is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-27-2010, 03:32 PM   #29
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 54
SDN 2+ Year Member
Default Be brief

Quote:
Originally Posted by innocentmed View Post
Hey everyone - Thank you so much for all of your information on writing personal statements! Also, Thank you to all the readers. I have read over many suggestions, and this may be somewhat of a specific question, but I need to ask it. In my application, there is a significant downward trend in grades. I do take responsibility for this, but also feel I must address this in my personal statement. In someone's opinion, is there a particular strategy that works best for this? For example, I started writing my explanation and right now it seems too cliche - "I had personal lessons to learn". I'm trying to reach into my heart and find both an honest and mature way of tackling this, but just wanted to throw it out there and see if anyone had any advice. Sorry if this comes across as annoying - I know writing a PS is a very serious task.

Thank you all!
I heard an admissions dean speak last year and someone asked him a similar question. He said to not spend too much time one it, to not give apologies or excuses but to admit the mistake and turn it into a positive. His main point really was to make your PS say something positive about you and your motivations, so try and turn your mishap into something positive; ie. what did you learn from it, how you have grown, and what you have done to show that you've grown? By showing that you have grown you can intertwine that in with your motivation for becoming a physician. Hope it helps. Good luck!
NateM is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-27-2010, 04:05 PM   #30
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 8

Default

Thank you for your help! I think this is a great strategy.
innocentmed is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-24-2010, 03:34 PM   #31
Member
 
Status: Pre-Medical
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 67
SDN 2+ Year Member
Default PS Editing in Berkeley?

Does anyone know where I can get my personal statement edited at UC Berkeley? I thought they would have a service available at the career center, but apparently they don't (lame! there is totally a year-round editing service at UCSD - which I don't qualify for anymore ).

Anyway, if any knows, please PM me. Also, if anyone knows any other ways I can get my essay edited in the Bay Area let me know. I PMed a bunch of editers on this forum, but haven't gotten a response back yet and I want to get my essay in the hands of as many as possible!

Thanks in advance.
FutureDoctor015 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-24-2010, 04:25 PM   #32
Ph.D in Bastardology
 
mrdrdrjp's Avatar
 
Status: Pre-Medical
MDApps: View Profile
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Forest City, NC
Posts: 525
SDN 2+ Year Member
Default

i vote to make this a possible sticky. this is some of the best and most sound advice i've seen in a while
__________________
Where are the men with the hearts made of steel,
with hearts that are wild, unbroken, and real?
They say what they mean and mean what they say.
And ride off like heroes after saving the day.


So let's all raise our glasses to spirits untamed,
make us all something strong,
a double shot of John Wayne
mrdrdrjp is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-08-2010, 03:05 PM   #33
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Huntington Beach, Calif.
Posts: 8
Follow My Twitter
Default And don't forget to watch for tangents

Following on Depakote's excellent primer ... my pet peeve reading personal statements is the tangent.

I see a *ton* of tangents in drafts of med school personal statements. Here's what I mean:

[sentence about topic a]. Also, [topic b introduced]. And that's why, [another sentence about topic a].

So topic b is a throw away, contributes nothing to the flow of the essay, and makes me ask, "Why is that there?"

Make sure you can map out the topics of your essay and stick to the "one topic per paragraph" rule. Your essay will shine!
DonO is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-07-2011, 02:45 PM   #34
New Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Redwood City, CA
Posts: 3
Follow My Twitter
Smile How to begin a PS?

Beginning can be the hardest part of the personal statement!

Begin your personal statement by composing a few stories. Each one should make a strong argument for why you should be admitted to med school: Tell about a time you were a strong leader in college or after college. This can be in a classroom setting, at work, or in a volunteer activity. Tell about a time you had positive tangible impact on others. Maybe you led a study group, helped tutor economically disadvantaged children, or traveled with a nonprofit medical organization. This kind of story will show you have had real-world experience, and it also often demonstrates that you can look at issues from multiple perspectives. Once you have written down several stories that provide strong evidence for your skills and abilities, work them into an essay with smooth transitions. Also strive to add other engaging elements of style to your essay. Style makes the essay pleasurable for the reader—it can incorporate moments of humor, poignancy, or vivid description or a recurring image or theme to make the reader enjoy the essay.

Stories are a powerful tool for personal statement writers because, most importantly, they provide evidence to support your claims about your skills and abilities. Once admissions committee members see specific evidence of leadership, compassion, and medical-related experience already in place, they will be more eager to admit you. Additionally, specific stories keep the interest and focus of the reader, since the human mind responds to stories by imagining characters, setting and action. Finally, stories gently force the reader to interpret your actions, thus getting them mentally involved as you “show” them your skills and talents (rather than “tell” them).

Don’t forget to argue why you want to go to medical school and what field you are interested in based on your experiences. It is always stronger to tailor your personal statement to specific schools, if possible. Argue how their specific resources meet your needs exactly and what you will bring to their program.
revisionworld is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-07-2011, 03:02 PM   #35
Senior Member
 
Quester's Avatar
 
Status: Pre-Medical
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Maryland
Posts: 622
SDN 2+ Year Member
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by revisionworld View Post
Beginning can be the hardest part of the personal statement!

Begin your personal statement by composing a few stories. Each one should make a strong argument for why you should be admitted to med school: Tell about a time you were a strong leader in college or after college. This can be in a classroom setting, at work, or in a volunteer activity. Tell about a time you had positive tangible impact on others. Maybe you led a study group, helped tutor economically disadvantaged children, or traveled with a nonprofit medical organization. This kind of story will show you have had real-world experience, and it also often demonstrates that you can look at issues from multiple perspectives. Once you have written down several stories that provide strong evidence for your skills and abilities, work them into an essay with smooth transitions. Also strive to add other engaging elements of style to your essay. Style makes the essay pleasurable for the reader—it can incorporate moments of humor, poignancy, or vivid description or a recurring image or theme to make the reader enjoy the essay.

Stories are a powerful tool for personal statement writers because, most importantly, they provide evidence to support your claims about your skills and abilities. Once admissions committee members see specific evidence of leadership, compassion, and medical-related experience already in place, they will be more eager to admit you. Additionally, specific stories keep the interest and focus of the reader, since the human mind responds to stories by imagining characters, setting and action. Finally, stories gently force the reader to interpret your actions, thus getting them mentally involved as you “show” them your skills and talents (rather than “tell” them).

Don’t forget to argue why you want to go to medical school and what field you are interested in based on your experiences. It is always stronger to tailor your personal statement to specific schools, if possible. Argue how their specific resources meet your needs exactly and what you will bring to their program.
Is it really okay to do this? I'm kinda worried they might say "how do you know that this is the field you're really interested in if you haven't experienced other fields to compare to?"
Quester is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-07-2011, 03:17 PM   #36
man crush
 
medzealot's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: MI6
Posts: 3,121
SDN Gold Donor SDN 2+ Year Member
Default

lol, I knew this was coming.

That single part you put in bold is not necessarily good advice for every applicant. It is not necessarily bad advice, for some.

You can read about it here:

http://forums.studentdoctor.net/showthread.php?t=799674

And from that thread, LizzyM's answer is:

Quote:
Originally Posted by LizzyM View Post
In some cases, you just have to go out on a limb. However, you may also need to be prepared to eat crow if you end up hating that field and decide on something else.

I can see someone totally devoted to women's issues, involved in health education, advocacy, volunteering in clinics, etc stating "I want to be a OB-GYN because..." and that would not be a bad thing. Pediatrics, psychiatry, a few others might fit this paradigm.

I get a little nervous when someone says, "my grandpa died of lung cancer and so I want to be a cancer doctor to give people like my grandpa a chance at life". (there are many different specialists who treat cancer but that's the least of the problems with that topic sentence) or "I admire the the orthopedic surgeon who treated by torn ACL and this motivates me to become an orthopedic surgeon". (hero worship, anyone?)

Anyone who has been here long enough knows that some students change their minds with experience and exposure to other fields and that's ok. If you have done what you love and it all points in a specific direction, there's no harm in that.
medzealot is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-07-2011, 08:22 PM   #37
Senior Member
 
Quester's Avatar
 
Status: Pre-Medical
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Maryland
Posts: 622
SDN 2+ Year Member
Default

Thanks!
Quester is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-07-2011, 10:56 PM   #38
PGY-Hell
 
SuperHiro's Avatar
 
Status: Resident
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Beantown
Posts: 5,235
SDN 7+ Year Member
Default

Fantastic idea and advice. I've already linked my pre-med friends. Maybe this will inspire more people to join the forum.
__________________
Gasman
Dog Lover
Miracle Giver.
SuperHiro is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-26-2011, 07:14 PM   #39
Junior Member
 
Status Pre-Medical
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 6

Default

I'm pretty new here so not sure if this question is valid here or not but here goes. Was wondering if the 5300 characters max includes spaces or not?
darkangelthn is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-26-2011, 07:29 PM   #40
radiating prestige
 
mauberley's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Urbs in Horto
Posts: 4,544
SDN 2+ Year Member
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by darkangelthn View Post
I'm pretty new here so not sure if this question is valid here or not but here goes. Was wondering if the 5300 characters max includes spaces or not?
Yes, it does.
mauberley is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-10-2011, 08:41 AM   #41
radiating prestige
 
mauberley's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Urbs in Horto
Posts: 4,544
SDN 2+ Year Member
Default If anyone is still composing their personal statement:

Just to reiterate Depakote's point:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Depakote View Post
Intro and conclusion
I was always one for the flashy hook intro. But there's a fine line between a hook and melodrama. It's ok to draw the reader into a scene using descriptive and vibrant language, but make sure what you're discussing is worth the attention it's getting. Basically, don't try to make a papercut sound like a severed artery.
Consider this:

Quote:
Originally Posted by LizzyM View Post
Starting with an anecdote can be an attention grabber but it is a device that has been over-used to the point of making many of us cringe. Please tell me the anecdote does not include lights and sirens.
mauberley is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-10-2011, 08:51 AM   #42
Member
 
desdes's Avatar
 
Status: Pre-Medical
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Alaska
Posts: 57
SDN 2+ Year Member
Default

Thank you for posting
desdes is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-21-2011, 08:35 PM   #43
New Member
 
Status Pre-Medical
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 3

Default

this is great, thank you!
ndlyon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-22-2011, 07:00 AM   #44
Senior Member
 
Espadaleader's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 341
SDN 2+ Year Member
Default

Motivation for medical school: your avatar. Thanks a ton!
__________________
In The Future Reflected In The Fruit,

I Change My Dream To An Ideal.
Espadaleader is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-22-2011, 09:10 AM   #45
"the anchor"
 
n3xa's Avatar
 
MDApps: View Profile
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Pomona, CA
Posts: 1,916
SDN 2+ Year Member
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by mauberley View Post
Consider this:
No sirens in my anecdotes, no sireeeee

*fingergunpointwink*
__________________
My tigergrandchilluns: nadaba, whatyousay, minerva3121, and idf27.

WesternU COMP 2016.

Quote:
Originally Posted by mauberley View Post
"Likes: the calm, reassuring voice of Dr. Sattar."
Quote:
Originally Posted by Siggy View Post
So you want to rub one out on the patient's chest?
n3xa is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-02-2011, 07:37 PM   #46
Member
 
Status: Pre-Medical
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 43

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by mauberley View Post
Just to reiterate Depakote's point:



Consider this:
Funny, my essay last year did start with my EMS experience. I decided to postpone my application til this year and I'm STILL struggling to figure out what to say...
At least I won't be starting with lights and sirens...
sk8ngli is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-03-2011, 03:16 PM   #47
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 29
SDN 5+ Year Member
Default What about re-admits?

Thanks very much for the advice, still as helpful today as back in 2008!

I was wondering if you had any advice in general for people reapplying (how best to address previous rejection or whether to address it at all). In particular, I first applied way back in the 2009 cycle and didn’t get in anywhere. I was going to reapply in the next cycle, but partly because of some advice I received from a disgruntled doctor (“If you can imagine yourself doing anything besides medicine and being happy you should do that because medicine requires such sacrifices it’s only worth it if medicine is your one and only calling in life”) I decided to pursue some other experiences and reconsider med school later. I ended up working as an EMT, then as a community organizer, getting a Masters degree in health policy and working in state and national health policy.

I enjoyed these experiences and far from turning me off medicine, they afforded me a much broader view of healthcare and heightened my desire to practice medicine. I now have a much stronger and more precise idea of why I want to be a doctor. But, I’m still worried that admissions committees will see time spent away from a lab or clinic as a red flag for lack of commitment to medicine.
I was thinking about developing a hook with some combination of my first rejection and the advice I got from the doctor and then using the body to explain how the different experiences strengthened my desire to be a physician. I thought this could be an honest way to make my PS stand out, but is probably way to risky and overall a bad idea. Any thoughts?
mrt438 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-03-2011, 03:54 PM   #48
radiating prestige
 
mauberley's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Urbs in Horto
Posts: 4,544
SDN 2+ Year Member
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by mrt438 View Post
Thanks very much for the advice, still as helpful today as back in 2008!

I was wondering if you had any advice in general for people reapplying (how best to address previous rejection or whether to address it at all). In particular, I first applied way back in the 2009 cycle and didn’t get in anywhere. I was going to reapply in the next cycle, but partly because of some advice I received from a disgruntled doctor (“If you can imagine yourself doing anything besides medicine and being happy you should do that because medicine requires such sacrifices it’s only worth it if medicine is your one and only calling in life”) I decided to pursue some other experiences and reconsider med school later. I ended up working as an EMT, then as a community organizer, getting a Masters degree in health policy and working in state and national health policy.

I enjoyed these experiences and far from turning me off medicine, they afforded me a much broader view of healthcare and heightened my desire to practice medicine. I now have a much stronger and more precise idea of why I want to be a doctor. But, I’m still worried that admissions committees will see time spent away from a lab or clinic as a red flag for lack of commitment to medicine.
I was thinking about developing a hook with some combination of my first rejection and the advice I got from the doctor and then using the body to explain how the different experiences strengthened my desire to be a physician. I thought this could be an honest way to make my PS stand out, but is probably way to risky and overall a bad idea. Any thoughts?
I think that's a valid idea to begin drafting your statement around. I don't know that you can avoid talking about your past application cycle, but I would advise that when it comes to discussing it, don't linger on the subject too much and be sure to spin it positively (which you should already be on you way to doing, according to your stated plan).

See what you manage to come up with and then seek out others' opinions of what you wrote. That's the only way you can be sure if it's a good approach or not.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by DaisyBuchanan View Post
Maubs, I wish I could observe your ability to speak entirely in pop culture references in action during your clinical years. I think it would be highly entertaining.
mauberley is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-18-2011, 07:46 PM   #49
Junior Member
 
Status Pre-Health
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 8

Default

Great advice, and I definitely agree with most of the points.
However, I believe it is acceptable to mention which field you are pursuing, as long as you don't write your whole essay based on it.
blockle is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-09-2011, 05:05 PM   #50
Member
 
Status: Pre-Medical
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 41

Default

Since spaces count toward max character number, can I not space after each sentence? is it going to look weird?
__________________
"Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened to you" (Matthew 7:7)
MedianEminence is offline   Reply With Quote

Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Gas Personal Statement Tips lfesiam Anesthesiology 0 04-20-2008 10:59 AM
Personal statement tips... mdphd2b ERAS and the NRMP Match 5 05-05-2007 06:11 PM
personal statement tips ianwright Pre-Dental 5 01-17-2006 04:01 PM
Personal statement tips alferec Optometry 0 11-20-2005 11:58 PM
personal statement tips gdk Pre-Medical Allopathic [ MD ] 17 07-02-2005 07:34 AM


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:34 PM.


Comments are closed.