Strange reactions to success

That is too bizare sumstorm?????? I was going to say your family just doesnt realize what a huge accomplishment you just had. Most people dont really get it. But the people at the vet hospital?? WTF? I cant help you understand it. My family and friends have sworn to take out a full page newspaper ad announcing my acceptance....if'en I ever get one.

Those cryptic reactions do kind of suck, but at least on this forum people know what you've been through, and what to say when you do and don't get it!

BTW My boss told me that I probably owed it to him that I got into his alma mater (even though the last 3 people he recommended didn't get in!). Then, as a present he gave me his old horse twitch, with "------ ------- (my name), D.M.V." engraved on it, and told me to get used to seeing that error hahaha.

I got:

From my 11 y/o nephew: "He just got in now? What has he been doing all this time?"

My sister: "Congratulations, How old are you going to be when you get done?" (that stung the most)

I called my grandpa to tell him and he was drunk. I expected ambivalence but he got very very very excited. I got a slurred "well that's great" and an explanation of how his stepkids inherited his good looks but thankfully not his brains. (he's my stepgrandpa) That was weird.

Other than that, I've gotten a LOT of "I told you so's" which is only a tiny bit frustrating. Good to know they have confidence in me at least.

No Imagination said:

I got:

From my 11 y/o nephew: "He just got in now? What has he been doing all this time?"

My sister: "Congratulations, How old are you going to be when you get done?" (that stung the most)

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i feel your non-trad pain! My response to people who think I waited too long to start: when I'm retiring at ~65, I'm sure I won't be that upset that I only practiced 35 years instead of 40!

oh...and my sister: is vet school a 2 year certificate program?

I'm glad that you made this post because I've been walking on egg shells since I was accepted, for the most part, due to the reactions I've been getting from people about it. My boyfriend is the only person I know who is at all happy about it, and I'm grateful for that, at least.

My best friend is avoiding me entirely since I sent her an email about the news a couple of weeks ago, just about an hour after I got my letter. That's been pretty rough.

Several other friends have made the following comments:
"Oh... Is that a big deal?" (Head ---> desk.)
"What will you do in Missouri???" (LOL)
"Why don't you become a REAL doctor?" (Le sigh.)
"Well that sounds... nice. Anyway..." (Ouch.)

While I talked excitedly about my acceptance with both of my parents, my mother interjected occasionally with: "But you won't know anyone in Missouri. ... There won't be anything to do there. ... I was hoping you'd hear from UF (my IS). ... When will UF contact you? ... We can't help you pay for anything. ... Good luck with that." All said in a very "Can we talk about something ELSE now?" tone. Kind of a mood killer. The next morning, she sent me an email with a link to a news article about vet TECHS and how they're almost guaranteed a job anywhere in the country, but particularly in the area I live in now. A not so subtle hint that she does not approve of my choices.

At that point, I had been put on the IS interview waitlist at UF, and, as such, I didn't expect the list to move at all and told my parents that I was just rejected. My first choice was Mizzou and I would have gone there over UF anyway, so I thought it would save me some strife. That is, until UF called me to offer me an interview. I didn't answer the call because I was in class, and when I checked the number later, I didn't recognize it. They didn't leave me a voicemail message or anything (or so I thought), so I forgot about it until the next day. I got another phone call from that same number but couldn't get to the phone quickly enough. They left a voicemail message that time, so I listened to it (after discovering the OTHER voicemail message they had left the day before that I hadn't received a notice for on my phone), and it was UF offering me an interview. I tried calling them back right away to turn it down and open the spot up for someone else, since I was set on Mizzou and had already mailed in my acceptance form and money, but the number the caller left on my phone was incorrect and I got another phone call before I realized the problem. It was from my mom, and I let it go to voicemail while I tracked down the correct phone number for the woman who called me. It turns out that UF had called her at work to try to track me down after failing to reach me a second time, and she was as excited as ever about it and told me to call them and then call her back to let her know how it worked out. $*@% Just what I needed. I called UF to thank them for their interest and open the spot up to someone else just as my mother called my father to have him tell me the news I already knew, and then I was forced to tell her over the phone that UF was not happening. I had already accepted a seat in Missouri and nothing was changing my mind.

She didn't talk to me for over a week, which made living in the same house with her pretty awkward. When she talks to me now, it's all in the name of avoiding the vet school topic.

All of this makes coming back to this website when I unwind at the end of the day that much better because I get to see complete strangers who have an actual understanding of just how soul-crushing this process is cheer for each other and congratulate each other wholeheartedly, and it's not something I get anywhere else, really. It's not hurting my excitement, but I feel like I've lost almost all of my in-person support group. Hopefully that will change with time.

It's good to know I'm not the only one getting strange reactions to the news.

My immediate family and those friends that are pre-vet are just as exited as I am. This is probably because they have been close by to see how much work it takes to get this far, know how worried I have been about getting in, and the odds of acceptance. So they know it is a big deal.

Then there are those that continually told me before I got my acceptance that I would get in. I know their intentions where good, but it was frustrating at the time. Their reaction to the news has been "I knew you would get in." It kinda cheapens the accomplishment.

Then there are those that don't react much at all. They go along with the "I told you so's" that don't really understand how hard vet school is to get into.

Congratulations everyone! It's hard to believe this is actually happening!

sumstorm said:

You're braver than I...I couldn't have turned down the interview, and if I got into both, I would have really had to think about it with the different price tags.

My family just expects that if I decide to do something, it will happen. As they would say, they raised me to be independent, stand on my own feet and make it through this world. Since they expect that, they don't let me see them get excited.

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If I wasn't able to gain residency (and a resident's tuition) in Missouri after my first year, I probably would have gone to the UF interview and might have had that tough decision to make if they accepted me, too (#1 school vs. cheaper price tag), so I'm glad that they do let out of staters do that. It made sending in my acceptance form and check to Mizzou very easy when I was still technically in the running at UF LOL.

My parents--especially my mother--simply don't know how to cut the umbilical. I faced similar problems with them when choosing an undergraduate school, as I was looking to move away then, too, and I don't think this issue with letting go will ever really resolve itself. Their definition of success as parents is having their children live with them until they die and never make a contribution to the world otherwise.

But I'm not bitter LOL.

I think what I have for them is a similar tough love that your parents have for you.

oregonhopeful said:

Other than that, I've gotten a LOT of "I told you so's" which is only a tiny bit frustrating. Good to know they have confidence in me at least.

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I've gotten a lot of that too. One of them didn't bother me. It was from one of my best friends, who is also an ex-boyfriend; I talk to him about my insecurities and other things, so coming from him I took it as a genuine compliment.

Roommate: "I don't know why you were worried about it anyway." I know he meant it as a compliment, but he is kind of an ***** and that's not the reaction I want to hear as I'm jumping up and down with my letter.

Brother: "Yeah, so? That's what I was expecting."

Uncle: "Well...did you apply anywhere else? I thought you wanted to go to Cornell? What about Ohio? Columbus is nice!"

sumstorm said:

Doubtful or at least, I hope not. My folks didn't help me out at all with school, I moved out at 16, and I have lived in my car for half a year....so hopefully you will show more compassion to your parents.

And desiring children to remain close isn't the same thing as desiring that they never make a contribution to the world.

I hope someday you miss that desire for closeness .....it isn't one I have ever had, so I envy the closeness. Hope it all works out well for you.

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LOL I wish I didn't really feel that way about their view of success as parents. I was never very close with my parents, even as a child, so this concrete desire to never have me move out of their home (really) has always confused me. It's so prevalent that I had to mail all of my supplemental applications and transcripts and my acceptance form and check from a mailbox on campus just to keep them from tampering with it. I also have had to fight to keep them from keeping the mail I get delivered here from me, so it's been an uphill battle in these last few months, and it's hard not to feel suffocated. Anything that involves me living somewhere else is something they don't really support or accept, and they've expressed to me that they'd like me to just stay here with them and would foot my bills until they died if I did, like they're doing with my older brother now.

I think that some day, when I've had some distance from it, I'll look back more fondly on how much they wanted to keep me around, but I may be too close to the suffocation point now to do that. I do appreciate them as parents in general, just not their reaction to a fledgling who is ready to leave the nest lol.

I'm sorry to hear about the lack of closeness with your own parents, though, and I don't think I could ever let my own child (or my parents, for that matter lol) live in a car for half of a year if I had a way of preventing it. Yikes.

This thread is shocking in some ways, but I can relate.

I didn't get into my in-state, Texas A&M, where almost all the vets I know went. Some of them are very excited and supportive and want to hear all about Ohio State, but others are completely disinterested and act like if I'm not good enough to be an Aggie, I'm not good enough to be a veterinarian. It hurts. All I can think is I GOT INTO VET SCHOOL YAY!!! but I guess they don't see it that way.

I actually heard two of the techs talking about it, and one said, "Well, you know, A&m is so competitive.... It's probably not even that hard to get into Ohio State..." At which point my jaw dropped and I kindly informed them that was not true. As if ANY vet school is a cakewalk to be accepted to! Not exactly!

And of course all my friends gave me "We knew you would get in, you're so good with animals!" Sure, because that's the only requirement!

Even if others don't acknowledge your accomplishment, everyone accepted has soooo much to be proud of! We know how hard we worked!

There are 4 types of people in the world.

1) Those who know nothing of vet school and really don't care. Family, friends, everyone who asks if its a 2 year program, etc.

2) Those who wanted(or claimed) to go to vet school but never applied. They either have no idea what it takes, or only knows they didn't have it. Seem to find a lot of "I could have done that before I did something else" attitude in that crowd. (I personally hear a lot of this with some of my coworkers)

3) Those who applied and never got in. Talking about others acceptances is only going to be salt in old wounds. Some will be genuinely happy for ya, because they at least know how hard it is.

4) Those who got in. They are the ones who will really appreciate the achievement.


And I'll apologize in advance for being overly general, these are just some of my observations.

i haven't even applied yet, but i can only imagine how my dad would react.

"with the 4 years you'll be spending in vet school, you could go to med school and be a REAL doctor!" and then he would continue about how i could help people instead of animals with my training, make more money, blah blah blah

umm not supportive much? and who says vets aren't real doctors??

karmapple said:

I didn't get into my in-state, Texas A&M, where almost all the vets I know went. Some of them are very excited and supportive and want to hear all about Ohio State, but others are completely disinterested and act like if I'm not good enough to be an Aggie, I'm not good enough to be a veterinarian. It hurts. All I can think is I GOT INTO VET SCHOOL YAY!!! but I guess they don't see it that way.

I actually heard two of the techs talking about it, and one said, "Well, you know, A&m is so competitive.... It's probably not even that hard to get into Ohio State..." At which point my jaw dropped and I kindly informed them that was not true. As if ANY vet school is a cakewalk to be accepted to! Not exactly!

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A&M is my IS too, and I totally know what you're talking about. People in TX think A&M invented veterinary medicine, and that everything else is 2nd rate. They have no idea. (Keep in mind that I am bad-mouthing the people, not the school that somehow let me in).

When I told people that I was rejected from 2 out of state schools, some (a couple vets included) couldn't believe it, especially since they must be "soooo much easier" to get into than A&M.

Your train of thought is totally right. Getting accepted is a big freaking deal!!! And those people will probably want your services in 4 years. Reserve the right to tell them to 'suck it'. Or be nice, your choice.

People in TX think A&M invented veterinary medicine, and that everything else is 2nd rate.

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That's pretty much the mindset around here!

sunnex3 said:

i haven't even applied yet, but i can only imagine how my dad would react.

"with the 4 years you'll be spending in vet school, you could go to med school and be a REAL doctor!" and then he would continue about how i could help people instead of animals with my training, make more money, blah blah blah

umm not supportive much? and who says vets aren't real doctors??

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That's right. Just remind your dad that it's actually the MDs who aren't "real vets." After all, an MD is just a vet that treats one species, and usually one specific part of that species.

I'm so lucky to have a great supportive family. They were all very excited and proud of me, especially my dad. He is even being supportive of me going abroad if I decide to.

I was surprised to find that some of my pre-med classmates, who I have a general dislike for most of the time, were very congratulatory and were aware that it is just as hard to get into vet school as med school. But of course there's those that think vet school is going to be their "back up." (HA! good luck with that!)

Wow this thread is really depressing . But congrats to everyone who got in!
I haven't applied yet but I am sick of my friends always saying "You will get in the first time you apply! I know you will!" Um no there is a small chance I will get in and will probably have to try twice at least, so shut up!

Haha, my reaction was interesting! I was literally on my way out the door (of the lab), going to a meeting. Iowa said they were going to let us know Feb 15th so I wasn't even checking my mail religiously because it was the week of the 7th. Anyway, the email came up and I started freaking out to myself...again, I'm walking down the hall to my meeting, my heart jumping out of my chest! I only had a few minutes but I had to call my mom to tell her! I was really lucky to have a really supportive family. My dad (a "real" human doctor) couldn't be happier for me. I think he probably secretly would have wished I went into human medicine, but he never once tried to push that on me. He has always told me to choose a career that I loved. When I got into my 2nd school, my mom was with her realtor (looking at a condo). She told the man that her daughter had just gotten accepted into her second vet school and he told her "wow, she must be smart". Best of luck to everyone!

my dad: congratulations, I was so worried for you because you put all your eggs in one basket. (thanks for the vote of confidence... the basket comment was because I only applied to one school because I only COULD apply to one school because I only had the pre-req's for one school. I had explained this at least four times already).

my grandma: Congratulations, good for you, I shudder to think about what this will cost!

one of my favorite good reactions was a fellow rabbit volunteer at the shelter "that's as hard to get into as med school, and much more important!"

I haven't applied yet either, but I'm only somewhat shocked by the range of reactions you are all getting. My parents and my husband have fortunately been very supportive of all the work I'm doing to change careers, but my mom is particularly cute about it. She's pretty sure I'll get in on the first try too because "I'm smart and good at this stuff." I just take the compliment and leave it at that, but I don't have nearly the amount of confidence that she does right now.

I'm only on my first year of pre-reqs though. Chemistry is starting to click again, so who knows right?

Most of the people in my life who know me well are really excited for me and very supportive, but......

There are other people who make me crazy like my bosses who seem to think that Ohio is the only vet school in the world. It is my IS and I wanted to go there but I didn't get in. I did however get into Kansas (which I am very happy with), so the thing I am most sick of is "Why would you want to move to Kansas?.....It's in the middle of no where....there are tornadoes."

karmapple said:

And of course all my friends gave me "We knew you would get in, you're so good with animals!" Sure, because that's the only requirement!

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So far the closest I have gotten is waitlisted, but I have definitely gotten similar reactions when I tell people I am waiting to hear back -- part of me finds it funny, and the rest of me finds it frustrating because we (applicants) know what it REALLY takes!
{Trying to 'stay hopeful' !!}

Well my mother in-law was definitely the worst for me.

My husband called his mom to tell her the big news and put her on speaker phone so I could hear. He said, "Hey mom, I just wanted to call and let you know that Karlee got accepted to vet school!"

Her response: "Oh, that's nice." then dead silence.

It was very awkward. and a bit depressing. But I had to remind myself that most people don't understand how competitive it is to get into vet school.

I wonder why people are so ignorant about vet school admissions.
Everyone knows that it's hard to get into med school. But why are they so blind about vet school?

Eh...If I cared that much about what people around me thought, then I would have just sucked it up and been a human doctor. I dont think anyone gets into this professor for the money or the glory.

And it is no surprise to me that people are horribly missinformed about the veterinary profession. Just look at the public exposure. When was the last time you saw a vet on prime time tv, while crappy human doctor shows seem to be an ever increasingly popular genre.

vnair2 said:

Eh...If I cared that much about what people around me thought, then I would have just sucked it up and been a human doctor. I dont think anyone gets into this professor for the money or the glory.

And it is no surprise to me that people are horribly missinformed about the veterinary profession. Just look at the public exposure. When was the last time you saw a vet on prime time tv, while crappy human doctor shows seem to be an ever increasingly popular genre.

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LOL true. There was a vet on Grey's Anatomy. Then someone said he wasn't a real doctor. Maybe silly because it's fiction but it still made me angry.

When I told my dad that I was accepted, the first thing he said was, "...You sure?" Yeah right, they must've made a mistake on both my letter and online status page. (But it was a tad hurtful, as that clearly showed he doubted my abilities). But other than that, everyone has been really nice and congratulating me on my success.

As for vets being shown in the media, one of my friends told me she saw one on CSI. I don't know which episode it was, but this female vet was at a bar, and a guy was trying to pick her up. He noticed that she had quite the muscular build and commented on it. She said something like, "I got these from putting my arm up cattle rectums!" The guy had a disgusted look on his face and walked away.

david594 said:

There are 4 types of people in the world.

1) Those who know nothing of vet school and really don't care. Family, friends, everyone who asks if its a 2 year program, etc.

2) Those who wanted(or claimed) to go to vet school but never applied. They either have no idea what it takes, or only knows they didn't have it. Seem to find a lot of "I could have done that before I did something else" attitude in that crowd. (I personally hear a lot of this with some of my coworkers)

3) Those who applied and never got in. Talking about others acceptances is only going to be salt in old wounds. Some will be genuinely happy for ya, because they at least know how hard it is.

4) Those who got in. They are the ones who will really appreciate the achievement.


And I'll apologize in advance for being overly general, these are just some of my observations.

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So my observations. I am at Colorado State, which as much as those from the other schools (A&M, OSU .. no offense), redefines competitive, and I am in a grad program that is more or less a pre-med/vet continuation of the pain of the undergrad wannabes. I kind of wondered why those few who were accepted here at CSU kind of kept it quiet -- I would have been jumping for joy and yelling at the top of every tower had I been so fortunate. Then I myself received my first acceptance letter. Then my second... While some have been very supportive and congratualatory, the vast majority of my friends at best meet my success with pained silence. I have actually more or less lost a couple of good friends -- at least they barely speak to me anymore, since I recieved my first phone call. I do not go around bragging, infact i too now keep my mouth shut and my head down in class. Anyone else experience this level of, what could best be called professional jealousy?

Kai

JulieB361 said:

There are other people who make me crazy like my bosses who seem to think that Ohio is the only vet school in the world.

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Well, huh, here in Texas, Ohio State barely even exists apparently. Funny how that works out, huh?

Congrats on Kansas State. That is definitely something to be proud of!

Ohio state? No no, its THE Ohio State. If you call it by its proper name people will understand.

Caninerepro said:

So my observations. I am at Colorado State, which as much as those from the other schools (A&M, OSU .. no offense), redefines competitive...

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I'm kind of confused here, why is CSU redefining competitive for TAMU and Ohio State? I've never been to any of the schools you mentioned, but I found this a rather strange comment - I feel like only someone who had spent a great deal of time at all those schools could really make a judgement about that.

david594 said:

Ohio state? No no, its THE Ohio State. If you call it by its proper name people will understand.

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Oooooohh... Is THAT what I've been doing wrong? I'll march right in to work tomorrow and demand some respect for THE Ohio State.

Good to know somebody understands, TSUJC. Despite other's distorted perceptions, I really don't think we are going to be scarred for life by not being accepted to Texas A&M. I'm sure we'll live.... it will be hard, but we'll manage to go on, somehow...

...as veterinarians!!!

karmapple said:

Well, huh, here in Texas, Ohio State barely even exists apparently. Funny how that works out, huh?

Congrats on Kansas State. That is definitely something to be proud of!

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Thanks! It's really funny how much that varies based on where you live.

wildvet said:

As for vets being shown in the media, one of my friends told me she saw one on CSI. I don't know which episode it was, but this female vet was at a bar, and a guy was trying to pick her up. He noticed that she had quite the muscular build and commented on it. She said something like, "I got these from putting my arm up cattle rectums!" The guy had a disgusted look on his face and walked away.

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I remember 2 other CSI episodes that has vets in it....But they are protrayed somehow like losers of the society.....
(If I remember correctly) One episode was the one that Grissom went to a small town to investigate a murder, and used the help of a local vet. The vet did reveal how hard it is to get into vet school ("it's harder to get into than med school) but complained about his job.
The other episode was about a murder in a dog show. The vet that serves show dogs definitely did not like his job...other than the money that it makes him.
Funny how when vets appear on CSI, it leaves a somewhat negative impression....The vet in Grey's Anatomy was nice tho.

bunnity said:

I'm kind of confused here, why is CSU redefining competitive for TAMU and Ohio State? I've never been to any of the schools you mentioned, but I found this a rather strange comment - I feel like only someone who had spent a great deal of time at all those schools could really make a judgement about that.

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Because while caninerepro is awesome enough to TA the vet school anatomy lab he apparently isn't good enough to be accepted into that class. THATS how competitive CSU is.

And based on lasts years acceptance data their are 2 schools that are actually more competitive than CSU based on #OOS applied / #OOS admitted.

haha i just remembered there was an episode of Bones (on FOX) that had a vet...it was the episode where there was like a cannibal in Washington state or something? the vet did like the necropsy on a dead grizzly or something.

I <3 McVet from Grey's Anatomy. Hummna hummna hummna....

Or what about the other episode where Izzy decides she's going to resuscitate a deer in the back of some guy's truck, and her interns make fun of her by making some veterinary comment? I can't remember what it was, but no wonder the public doesn't like us! The TV show writers hate us.

Threads like these make me sad, because I wish everyone's parents/families had been as excited as mine were when I got my letter from KSU. I've told my family about SDN and whenever I comment on someone getting in to them, they are always happy to hear it! So you all have support from a random family in Kansas.

If my family has any weird reactions -- it's telling EVERYONE they know about my acceptance. My grandpa told my former MD about it when he went in for his checkup! And I'm pretty sure he drops it into every conversation he has with anyone.

Also, sumstorm, I *love* the fact that you took in a cake in the shape of a caduceus! That is so cute! Did you have a pan shaped like one or are you just awesome? (I'm betting on awesome.)

Since I was five years old I've been planning on how to respond to getting accepted into Vet school- who I was going to tell, what I was going to say etc.. When it actually happened I just hyperventilated and fell over...
not glamorous, but a dream non the less. Beyond that, everyone that matters has been supportive (flowers, drinks and all). Right after it happened I felt like I was walking around in a disbelief type trance combined with a "oh my god, this is really happening/how will I afford this" My numbness ended as soon as my Dad called- I answered the phone and he just said "hey there, doctor!" I burst into ecstatic tears!

Class 2013
Congrats to all and hope for all those who are still trying..

Which two were more competitive than CSU for OOS? Cornell and ?

I am avoiding Anatomy, stupid thoracic limb.

sumstorm said:

At work, I took a cake in shaped like a caduceus.

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First of all, I apologize for being so anal retentive. I'm sorry. However, this is one of my secret pet peeves - the medical symbol is a Rod of Asclepius, not a caduceus. They look really similar, but there's a difference...

For more info, of course there's a wiki...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caduceus

Yup. /anal retentive.