why are all the surgeon's wives homely looking?

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I know this may sound insulting but I'm just curious.

I've been watching the BostonMed show the last few weeks and I can't help but notice that all the surgeon's wives are very "homely" and far from hot.

I'm just a med student and I always had thoughts of surgeons getting the hottest girls, so I was a bit surprised.

Is the job of a surgeon so busy and stressful that you just want to marry someone that is loyal and will take care of the family end and perhaps over look the superficial aspect?

I mean, these guy's are freakin neuro surgeons, trauma surgeons, plastic surgeons, CT surgeons at one of the best hospitals in the country! you think that would give you some street cred with the ladies!!!

Umm, not going to take the bait...but I remember an episode of dr 90210 when one of the newer plastics guys (do?) said he wasn't looking for the hottest woman but the one with the best personality...he could always make her stunning.

Originally Posted by dingleberry007

I know this may sound insulting but I'm just curious.

I've been watching the BostonMed show the last few weeks and I can't help but notice that all the surgeon's wives are very "homely" and far from hot.

I'm just a med student and I always had thoughts of surgeons getting the hottest girls, so I was a bit surprised.

Is the job of a surgeon so busy and stressful that you just want to marry someone that is loyal and will take care of the family end and perhaps over look the superficial aspect?

I mean, these guy's are freakin neuro surgeons, trauma surgeons, plastic surgeons, CT surgeons at one of the best hospitals in the country! you think that would give you some street cred with the ladies!!!

It's a TV show.

I'm amazed....
Somebody watches a TV, edited evening drama... sees what 1/2 dozen physician wives and draws a conclusion on the over all attractiveness of the thousands of surgeon wives.

I guess I shouldn't be surprised. I see all the so called pre-meds, med-students, even ?residents seeking on-line forum chat as a significant resource for planning their futures. The laziness is incredible and the choice of ignorance astounding.

Originally Posted by dingleberry007

I know this may sound insulting...

I'm just a med student...

...you think that would give you some street cred with the ladies!!!

A med student wouldn't need a TV show.... he/she could look around and see what is reality.

They didn't show what the mistresses looked like. There is still hope.

I don't think you can generalize based on seeing six wives on one TV show. I think that the northeast as a whole is slim pickings for the most part (at least relative to Miami), at least in terms of gorgeous women. The "+2" rule exists for a reason - a 5 here is a 7 there and vice versa. That doesn't mean that there are not beautiful women there, there just aren't as many.

What is incredibly difficult to find here are genuinely intelligent women who can carry on a meaningful conversation. As much fun as I had as a junior resident, going to clubs on South Beach gets tiresome, as does having the same conversation over and over with assorted "promoters" and others whose sole purpose is to make enough money to go out again next weekend. While it probably sounds cool to have the hot trophy wife, she better have something to offer brains-wise, 'cause you're the one that has to hang out with her for the rest of your life.

I actually enjoy Boston Med more than the Discovery Channel or TLC "documentaries", since it's well-edited and the patients and families are pretty interesting. I do find it annoying that they tend to pan away from all the guts (the actual fun part). Why can't I watch the neurosurgeons pop the tumor out of that guy's nose or the CT guys suture that kid's heart transplant into place? My favorite part is watching the surgery interns, with their overinflated sense of self-importance meander through the hospital checking off boxes on their list, only to don a full suit and tie to hit the town and try to find some ladies. It makes me wonder how I would have appeared if there were cameras on me during my intern year, with all my bitching about the ER and stupid consults getting broadcast at a later date (something tells me that intern is getting an ass-whooping from CT later).

Originally Posted by dingleberry007

I know this may sound insulting but I'm just curious.

My wife is hot.

Originally Posted by SLUser11

My wife is hot.

well since we're on the subject...so is mine. But damn, she sure takes a long time to get ready. At least I have time to post here (instead of being out side enjoying my one day off) while she's trying on clothes.

Originally Posted by JackADeli

I guess I shouldn't be surprised. I see all the so called pre-meds, med-students, even ?residents seeking on-line forum chat as a significant resource for planning their futures. The laziness is incredible and the choice of ignorance astounding.

SDN is a better resource than most off-line resources.

Some women look more youthful or "hot" as newly weds, and more "homely" as they get older, nothing wrong with it. The union is made "for better or for worst" not for IN while you look "hot" and OUT for a 26 year old hottie when you start appearing more "homely" (although not uncommon).

Originally Posted by dingleberry007

...I've been watching the BostonMed show the last few weeks and I can't help but notice that all the surgeon's wives are very "homely" and far from hot....

You're describing a girlfriend or a 1-night stand, not a wife. Not the future mother of your children. That's common sense though...

Originally Posted by filter07

They didn't show what the mistresses looked like. There is still hope.

ROFL!!! They should have showed more of the nurses and ancillary staff! One peak into the closest would have explained everything LOL!

1) its a tv show

2) it shows only a small fraction of US surgery residents and attending surgeons and their wives

3) some surgeons have hot wives, some have homely wives, some have average looking wives

4) believe it or not, despite the common pre-med fantasy, some women actually are *not* attracted to surgeons, and instead want a man who will be home, who will be supportive of them and spend time with them. That *may* be a surgeon or it may not be, but there are actually careers out there which make more money with fewer hours, no call, etc. and women may find that more attractive.

The hot women often have many more options for mates than the homely ones and might instead choose someone who has more time to devote to them than a surgeon. I'd rather be single than put up with some of the attitudes/behavior exhibited on the show (albeit probably a highly edited show).

5) there are a modicum of surgeons married to models and actresses; most of these are not in Boston but rather LA and NYC. Most of these are Plastic Surgeons and they presumably meet in a professional capacity.

6) who cares? As noted by BS, maybe the women were hot when they got married or maybe they were just actually a kind loving woman and their husbands realized that those are more important qualities than what someone looks like.

Originally Posted by winged scapula

...there are a modicum of surgeons married to models and actresses; most of these are not in boston...

Originally Posted by TheProwler

SDN is a better resource than most off-line resources.

Maybe.... but, when I read someone has spent five grueling years in general surgery, busting their but to get into one of the most competitive fellowships (i.e. plastics) and they say they really didn't know what the fellowship was about until they started training in it? Or maybe the question i read about medical genetics residency.... I googled it and found plenty of information. But, someone couldn't do that little task and just wanted to be told. How about the college student asking if Family practice is just triage and writes referrals all day? There are numerous other examples.... It just reminds me of that TV commercial in which the elementary school teacher congratulations the mom for the kids paper. It goes something like this, "you should be proud of Johnny. He is the only kid in the class that actually used real and verifiable resources. All the other kids keep citing internet sources and on-line chat rooms....".

Bottom line, there are plenty of cold, boring, factual resources available. I am not opposed to using on-line. But, I find it is not being used as additive. Rather, it is a lazy approach. So many times we can come here and find a question that simply placing a google search will answer. But folks leaning on the on-line even want the google search done by someone else. Forums are more and more a spoon feed central. the problem is that you may be spoon fed wrong information. "Our" education should be better. "Our" patients deserve better.

Originally Posted by SLUser11

My wife is hot.

as is mine,

cant judge based on a few wives on a tv show

Originally Posted by JackADeli

Maybe.... but, when I read someone has spent five grueling years in general surgery, busting their but to get into one of the most competitive fellowships (i.e. plastics) and they say they really didn't know what the fellowship was about until they started training in it? Or maybe the question i read about medical genetics residency.... I googled it and found plenty of information. But, someone couldn't do that little task and just wanted to be told. How about the college student asking if Family practice is just triage and writes referrals all day? There are numerous other examples.... It just reminds me of that TV commercial in which the elementary school teacher congratulations the mom for the kids paper. It goes something like this, "you should be proud of Johnny. He is the only kid in the class that actually used real and verifiable resources. All the other kids keep citing internet sources and on-line chat rooms....".

Bottom line, there are plenty of cold, boring, factual resources available. I am not opposed to using on-line. But, I find it is not being used as additive. Rather, it is a lazy approach. So many times we can come here and find a question that simply placing a google search will answer. But folks leaning on the on-line even want the google search done by someone else. Forums are more and more a spoon feed central. the problem is that you may be spoon fed wrong information. "Our" education should be better. "Our" patients deserve better.

You're ignoring the thousands of people who read SDN, do some Googling, and then don't bother to make a stupid thread asking an obvious question. Quite a sample bias you have there.

Originally Posted by TheProwler

You're ignoring the thousands of people who read SDN, do some Googling, and then don't bother to make a stupid thread asking an obvious question. Quite a sample bias you have there.

I accept that assessment as to sample bias as fair. However, I am still amazed to see individuals claiming to be in med school... or even in fellowship after a complete residency make questions and/or claims as I noted.

Yes, I have some bias. I probably expect more then I should from an adult... especially an adult at least in medical school, surrounded day in and day out by the first hand resources, etc.... or an adult, licensed to practice medicine, in a residency..... And so, with this bias and unreasonable expectations, I am surprised daily.

PS: how about the question (from a self proclaimed resident) of what are the physiologic complications of removing a gallbladder? I mean, really, can't open a text or something?

...I could email my profs, but I thought maybe I'll get a quicker answer from here...

Yep, talks about the inadequacies of the text. But really, come on.... if you are involved in healthcare and performing a procedure, it is fundamental you figure out what the consequences are and do so through more reliable resources then an anonymous forum....

Some of it is how we were brought up. When I was in elementary school, we were told that instead of fussing around with the Dewey Decimal System, it's most efficient to talk to a librarian and tell them what we are looking for.

Some of it is that some questions are kind of difficult to find out without experience. As for the post chole complications, that's not something that is easy to search for. I just glanced at Sabiston, Schwartz, Cameron, and Mulholland's Complications in Surgery and had a hard time finding much about possible biliary insufficiency. One can conclude from the lack of discussion in the texts that it's not much of a problem, but if a patient asked me that question, I wouldn't be able to cite anything specific.

Originally Posted by filter07

Some of it is how we were brought up. When I was in elementary school, we were told that instead of fussing around with the Dewey Decimal System, it's most efficient to talk to a librarian and tell them what we are looking for...

Maybe. When I was growing up... I was always told, "look it up. You'll remember it."

Originally Posted by filter07

...As for the post chole complications, that's not something that is easy to search for. I just glanced at Sabiston, Schwartz, Cameron, and Mulholland's Complications in Surgery and had a hard time finding much about possible biliary insufficiency...

Sure, not the first thing to jump out of a standard text.... but even a google would find you something. But, what is most telling is the mentality that the questioner posted...

...I could email my profs, but I thought maybe I'll get a quicker answer from here...

Originally Posted by filter07

...One can conclude from the lack of discussion in the texts that it's not much of a problem, but if a patient asked me that question, I wouldn't be able to cite anything specific.

So, will you then cite SDN on-line forums for your patient? Honestly, plenty of stuff in the text is ignored. Stuff not in the text is easily found with a medline search.....

Originally Posted by opr8n

as is mine,

cant judge based on a few wives on a tv show

agreed. my bf is a surgeon, and i am far from homely

Originally Posted by Meibomian SxN

You're describing a girlfriend or a 1-night stand, not a wife. Not the future mother of your children. That's common sense though...

Exactly... I don't get the men who marry bimbo trophy wives (whose only redeeming factor is hotness) and then act all surprised when their kids turn out to be idiots.

What happened to marrying for character, intelligence, loyalty and compatibility?

Originally Posted by vancouvergeorge

Exactly... I don't get the men who marry bimbo trophy wives (whose only redeeming factor is hotness) and then act all surprised when their kids turn out to be idiots.

What happened to marrying for character, intelligence, loyalty and compatibility?

Even more amusing is when they're suprised that their kids are ugly.

Hint: if your spouse is hot because because of extensive plastic surgery, your kid ain't gonna look like the parent. Check out those old high school yearbooks.

(e.g., Sunday Urban - daughter of Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban. The father was most definitely *not* a looker and his daughter unfortunately, seems to look like him.)

Originally Posted by Winged Scapula

(e.g., Sunday Urban - daughter of Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban. The father was most definitely *not* a looker and his daughter unfortunately, seems to look like him.)

Maybe she will outgrow it.

*googles Keith Urban*
>.<

My gods... what was Kidman thinking?! He looks like 20 miles of bad outback roads.

Actually, had a chief resident who had a bombshell blonde of a wife with a brain and personality, a poster reason for faithfulness in a relationship. The chief resident was homely. The two single guys in the program (myself and one other in my level,) kept looking at her and wondering how the hell he managed to grab her, let alone marry her. We came to the conclusion it was the old caveman-club routine with roofies for good measure.

Never got the whole story, but understood he cheated on her, divorce ensued. I being a bit of a recluse out of work was the last to know, and I never brought up the topic with him as he was my favorite chief to work with, and didn't want to ruin a good thing.

Originally Posted by Winged Scapula

Even more amusing is when they're suprised that their kids are ugly.

Hint: if your spouse is hot because because of extensive plastic surgery, your kid ain't gonna look like the parent. Check out those old high school yearbooks.

(e.g., Sunday Urban - daughter of Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban. The father was most definitely *not* a looker and his daughter unfortunately, seems to look like him.)

Could you imagine what Michael Jackson's kids would have looked like if he had been their biological father?

Originally Posted by sustentaculum

agreed. my bf is a surgeon, and i am far from homely

Nobody said surgeons don't date attractive people.... I think the comment was that the marrying type for a surgeon is less then attractive. I don't necessarily agree.... but your dating does not equate anything in this equation.

If someone's willing to devote years and years of their lives perfecting a craft that also requires so much sacrifice, I think they might be not shallow enough to just go for the superficials like looks over loyalty and personality.

Originally Posted by Winged Scapula

Even more amusing is when they're suprised that their kids are ugly.

Hint: if your spouse is hot because because of extensive plastic surgery, your kid ain't gonna look like the parent. Check out those old high school yearbooks.

(e.g., Sunday Urban - daughter of Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban. The father was most definitely *not* a looker and his daughter unfortunately, seems to look like him.)

My theory is that the children of 2 exceptionally beautiful people will be ugly. It keeps the universe in balance.

Originally Posted by Lane138

If someone's willing to devote years and years of their lives perfecting a craft that also requires so much sacrifice, I think they might be not shallow enough to just go for the superficials like looks over loyalty and personality.

I think you may be missing something of the obvious. If someone spends years working towards ~ perfection, they are not likely to just settle for loyalty and personality.... they worked for perfection, they will seek it i.e. good looks, loyalty, personality, and etc.... Most people look for and want the "total package". What they will settle for is a different story. Someone that works very hard is not likely to settle for less easily. I don't see looking for the "total package" is shallow.... rather, it is "demanding".

How each defines that and how much they weigh in importance of each will be on individual basis.

I don't think is something you can really extrapolate to all surgeons. From all accounts, WS is quite the cougar. And there are plenty of other surgeons with good-looking wives.

But for those that it does apply to, think of how many tool-boxes are in medicine. And not the Affliction-wearing Jersey Shore kind of tools, I mean the socially inept tools. Those guys aren't exactly pulling ass left and right.

Originally Posted by Slack3r

I don't think is something you can really extrapolate to all surgeons. From all accounts, WS is quite the cougar. And there are plenty of other surgeons with good-looking wives.

But for those that it does apply to, think of how many tool-boxes are in medicine. And not the Affliction-wearing Jersey Shore kind of tools, I mean the socially inept tools. Those guys aren't exactly pulling ass left and right.

True to some extent, but once they get that "MD" after their name, they probably pull more @ss than they deserve.

not going to lie, but i thought the same as the OP did, especially because the surg residents shown weren't really duds either

also, for those who say it's a TV show, these are real people so that's not really a valid point, although sample bias is still present obviously

Originally Posted by Fah-Q

My theory is that the children of 2 exceptionally beautiful people will be ugly. It keeps the universe in balance.

I've also noticed there is an exceedingly high rate of autism amongst the children of professional athletes. I think it is possible to "overdo" perfection, with the result being a big step back.

never mind the wives.
do you notice how extremely ugly female surgical residents are?

Originally Posted by JKP

never mind the wives.
do you notice how extremely ugly female surgical residents are?

You must be at the wrong program. I know plenty of attractive female surgery residents.

Originally Posted by Winged Scapula

You must be at the wrong program. I know plenty of attractive female surgery residents.

Originally Posted by Winged Scapula

You must be at the wrong program. I know plenty of attractive female surgery residents.

You heard it here first, folks! WS is attracted to female surgery residents!

Originally Posted by Winged Scapula

You must be at the wrong program. I know plenty of attractive female surgery residents.

I've seen both kinds.

I distinctly remember from med school that there was a super-hot female urology resident. I thought that may have caused some occasional embarassing interactions.

I also remember a handsome male OBGYN, whose name I will change, but who I referred to as "Damon Kolb, Handsome Gynecologist." His interactions with the L and D nurses as well as most of his patients was hilarious. If you guys get a chance, look up the old SNL Sketch for "Mel Gibson, Dream Gynecologist." This sketch was a good 15 years before Mel revealed that he was bat-s@#t crazy. Either way, it was the only entertaining portion of my OB rotation.

Originally Posted by skiz knot

You heard it here first, folks! WS is attracted to female surgery residents!

No...attractive does not mean finding sexually attractive. I can appreciate beauty whether its male or female and have it mean nothing about my sexuality.

But if I'm single much longer, I might consider it...

Originally Posted by Winged Scapula

But if I'm single much longer, I might consider it...

I might be biased, but I highly recommend attractive females

Originally Posted by Buzz Me

You give me no love and see what happens?

I told you if I couldn't have you I'd rather be alone. Or dead. Or scoping out attractive female residents.

Originally Posted by Winged Scapula

You give me no love and see what happens?

I told you if I couldn't have you I'd rather be alone. Or dead. Or scoping out attractive female residents.

Maybe you shouldn't be so shallow! You were pretty fond of the idea of us going on a date, I send you a picture of mine and you stop responding to my messages?

Originally Posted by Black Surgeon

Maybe you shouldn't be so shallow! You were pretty fond of the idea of us going on a date, I send you a picture of mine and you stop responding to my messages?

Well you misrepresented yourself. I thought you were Cornel West. If you can't be good looking, you have to at least be either rich or famous.

Originally Posted by Winged Scapula

Well you misrepresented yourself. I thought you were Cornel West. If you can't be good looking, you have to at least be either rich or famous.

You Women nowadays have forgotten what LOVE is about. What happened to loving a man for who he is, paying all his bills, surprising him with Redskins season tickets, allowing him to frequent the nearest strip joint every once in a while?

Originally Posted by Black Surgeon

You Women nowadays have forgotten what LOVE is about. What happened to loving a man for who he is, paying all his bills, surprising him with Redskins season tickets, allowing him to frequent the nearest strip joint every once in a while?

You are young, young'un, but you are wise beyond your years.

My advice (as articulated by Mooj):

Originally Posted by Winged Scapula

You give me no love and see what happens?

I told you if I couldn't have you I'd rather be alone. Or dead. Or scoping out attractive female residents.

Wait...so I turned you into a lesbian? Epic fail.

Or is that just bi-curious? In that case...win.

Originally Posted by Apollyon

You are young, young'un, but you are wise beyond your years.

Ha! I'll take it! Nevertheless, part of me wishes I was as young in age as you, and many on SDN may believe.

Funny thread. I don't know why people assume that if someone is attractive/hot, etc, then that person is superficial, dumb, etc. You can have both. It's not as easy to find if you're picky, but you don't have to have an unattractive mate/wife to get some loyalty. Plus unless you're really not that sexual yourself, I don't see such a relationship lasting. Once you do meet the right person (attractive, intelligent, etc) your marriage might fall apart. So I don't agree that one should consciously sacrifice physical attraction to satisfy personality needs. That's just a self-deception. It's another thing if you truly care about someone and don't even notice how they look. But making such a choice consciously is bound to create unhappiness in the future. And there is a clear difference between an attractive "bimbo" (which I think is what most people are referring to here) and an attractive, but well-rounded person. Think Paris Hilton vs Jennifer Connelly.

There is another explanation why doctors as a group might not be able to find the most compatible mate. That generally concerns social ineptitude. In order to find that one person who is attractive and intelligent, you need to be able to get to know many different people and filter through them. This implies the ability to approach someone you find attractive. Most of us in the hardcore sciences have a social handicap. This is especially true for doctors since they also have lack of free time. Without much practice, you probably won't be able to attract/retain the right person once he or she does come along. I equate this to preparing for the standardized tests, like the STEPs. If you don't practice a lot, when the STEPs come along, you either fail or perform poorly. Personally, I think many doctors end up marrying Asians because Asians have a certain quality of being down-to-earth and are much more approachable than many of the girls made in USA. Just an observation.

On a side note, from what I have seen, WS, you seem to be pretty attractive. I have no idea why you're still single. And I know you're joking, but I know a girl who was so disappointed by male partners that she started dating girls, on and off. I think the sexual boundaries for females are far more blurrier than for males. Freud mentioned this decades ago, but I think some females still don't agree with his analysis. A large percentage of sexual dissatisfaction among females probably also has to do with this statistic.