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Old 06-05-2011, 06:00 PM   #1
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Default Quoted: Will I lose out on my social life?


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I have read just about every negative and positive post about being -and the path to- an M.D/D.O; while many of these have weighted my thinking from one side to another, perhaps the biggest weight is that of lacking a social life.

I grew up very socially awkward: My mother had to spend my child hood years in school, or working; I had no father or other parental figure, so I spent most of my early child hood in daycares or home alone. 9-14 was spent being the outcast in school, only to end with developing agoraphobic. I spent all of highschool struggling to make my once a week homeschool appointments, but far worse than the dozens of panic attacks daily, was knowing that everyone was enjoying highschool while I was stuck at home. While I wouldn't call these people friends -as I knew them only via association-, I watched as everyone went out on weekends, had bf/gf's, go to parties, etc; it was painful.

19-20 was spent doing personal research. I studied psychology 15hrs a day ( I had nothing else to do ), eventually getting a major understand of CBT. I put Cognitive therapy to work; using exposure, flooding, and cognitive restructing to shake my illness. I'm just about 22 and I've spent since each day full enjoying life. Dating women, going to parties, drinking, playing sports, and more dating .

Perhaps its just because I missed out on my teenage years, but I'm 100% horrified at the thought losing my prime years. So many people seem to complain about having literally 1hr of free time a day, or no time whats so ever. I understand that being a medical doctor is a large sacrifice, and after many years of struggling, I'm more than interested in sparing the lives of others from suffering like I did; but, I'm not sure I'm willing to sacrifice my entire youth to do so.

Mentally I have what it takes to be a medical doctor, I'm highly intelligent (4.0 major, 3.8 overall; double honors society), I have the drive, I have the goal, and I have the love, but I have to be honest with myself. I have lost far too much of my youth, would med-school be the death of it? My back up at the moment is clinical psychology -its the obvious choice for someone with backround, but I just know I wont feel full-filled.

TLDR: Will I lose whats left of my youth to medical school, or can I continue to enjoy life -obvious to a lesser extent- while being in school. I'm more than able to do it at this level of school, but its nothing compared to medical school from what I hear.

Thank you in advanced.
First, I think that many will tell you that High School was not fun.

Anyway, I think med school can be what you make of it. I seem to remember having time to go out with friends, met my wife (not at medical school, but while enrolled), etc. It's a matter of balance -- if your idea of "fun" is partying all weekend and waking up monday morning hung over, that's not going to work well in medical school. Both med school and residency are time consuming, it's a matter of making time for other things in your life.

My 2 cents, we'll see what others say.
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Old 06-08-2011, 09:00 AM   #2
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You CAN have a life in medical school, but to a point. It really depends upon how good you are at time management. I have students who not only excel in the classroom, but also have time for family (some have had babies while in school and didn't miss a beat).

However, keep in mind that Medicine (note the capital) is a calling, like being a policeman, or a priest. You are going to have to make sacrifices. So, ask yourself "How badly do I want to be a doctor?"



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Originally Posted by aProgDirector View Post
First, I think that many will tell you that High School was not fun.

Anyway, I think med school can be what you make of it. I seem to remember having time to go out with friends, met my wife (not at medical school, but while enrolled), etc. It's a matter of balance -- if your idea of "fun" is partying all weekend and waking up monday morning hung over, that's not going to work well in medical school. Both med school and residency are time consuming, it's a matter of making time for other things in your life.

My 2 cents, we'll see what others say.
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Old 06-08-2011, 06:41 PM   #3
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Over the years, I've seen SDN divide into two camps. There is the "medicine is a job, nothing more" and the "medicine is a calling, nothing less" camp.

Neither comes close to accurately describing my view. From an ATTENDING perspective, in the attending role, one occasionally misses a family event, a fun event, etc, but mostly this doesn't happen. Some surgeons fall more than 2 standard deviations outside the norm on this, some folks in other specialties you can guess fall 2 SDs on the other side.

As a trainees, you'll make more sacrifices. But still, I see our trainees at all levels living their lives not much different than their non-medical colleagues in professional schools.

Bottom line, there will be some loss of free time and fun time throughout, but on the whole one can find balance.

Medicine isn't just a job, but it isn't a calling such that you can't have a reasonable life.
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Old 06-09-2011, 03:23 PM   #4
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You absolutely can have a life during med school. I've done it married with a kid, and I've STILL had a life (although, I'm an average student).

What was especially interesting to me was that the friends you make in med school are awesome people, with similar interests and talents as you, and are probably some of the best friends you'll make in your life. It's really been a blast to hang out with these people.

Work hard. Play hard. Has it been tough? Of course...but it's also been the experience of a lifetime!
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