Yeah, me too. Like when people say, "I'm bipolar because one minute I'm really happy and the next minute I'm crying. I have really bad mood swings throughout the day."
When I hear a complaint like that, I typically ask, "What are the behaviors of others that set you off. What kinds of things do others say and do that send you over the edge?"
If I get clear answers about what others do that sets of the patient, then I ask, "So if others just avoid doing those stupid or rude things, then you're fine, right?"
If that's a "Yes," then I'm pretty sure I'm looking at irritability, bullying, over-dramatization, etc. Then I start asking the actual manic episode criteria, and the major depressive episode criteria. VERY often, I get clear direct answers to the irritability questions and clear, convincing, consistent "No" to the Manic and MDE questions. I then review with them that they answered "No to all the questions that would confirm a Bipolar diagnosis. They ask, "Well, then what do I have? 'Cause it's driving me and everyone around me up a wall." I explain that these are personality traits (possibly even a Personality Disorder) and that medications are likely to accomplish little/no improvement except for discrete symptoms, like maybe sleep or anxiety.
"Well then what should I do?"
"Did anyone ever suggest going to therapy?"
"Yes, but that costs money and you have to go every week or two."
"Yes, but probably a lot less money and time than what you've already lost in jobs, friends, salary, and years wasted on changing medicines every 3 months?"
"So I have to go to therapy to get better?"
"Yes! You may have to go to 5 or 6 visits with 3 or 4 different therapists before you find one that's a good fit. But I'm willing to bet that if you do that, you and those around you will be feeling a lot better in 2-3 years."
"YEARS?!"
"Yup. You've already spent 5-10 years screwing around with medicines that are unlikely to ever solve the problem. This is one of those situations of 'The sooner you get started, the sooner things will get better.'"
This conversation generally ends with either,
"Thank you. You're the first person who's ever explained it like that."
Or a much louder 2-word response, which is usually accompanied by 1 finger.
Both indicate we're done for today.