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Old 11-19-2011, 07:25 PM   #1
3rd 2nd year?
 
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Haven't had a good parody thread in a while so I started this one... Please feel free to add your own.


Applicant: Persistent Old Man
70th time applicant, 91 years old, Male, California
Applied: UC Davis, Western, WSU, Upenn
Apps withdrawn: Western, WSU
Interview: UC Davis, Upenn
Accepted: UPenn

Cum GPA @ time of application: 1.35
Last 45 credit hrs: 2.00
Science GPA @ time of application: 1.55
GRE: 1000. 400q, 600v, 1.5 AW

Veterinary Experience:
-69 years as a janitor at a small animal hospital
-1 year as a clinic owner

Animal Experience:
-70,000 hours collecting road kill
-20,000 hours chasing away pigeons from my window
-100,000 hours cursing the raccoons opening my garbage
-600,000 hours killing bugs.

Extracurricular/Community Activities:
-Santa Claus at the local mall
-hot dog eating contest official janitor
-Bowling league organizer 43 times.
-Chased away at least 600 kids from my lawn

Awards
- employee of the week 18times
- employee of the month 2 times
- gold watch for retirement
- gold star for perfect attendance 62 times.
- awarded $180mm in lottery winnings.

eLORS:
2 vets from the SA hospital I've worked at for 70 years
1 from the lottery ticket seller who I bought my winning lottery ticket from

Other
I am living proof you should never give up. I stink in the classroom and can't add without a calculator but I had a dream and I wouldn't let anyone convince me I couldn't do it. I kept on buying those lottery tickets every week for 70 years just in case I got into school, I knew I would need money. Luckily I won this year.

Penn only required $100mm to fund their hospital from me. I thought I could stay in California, but Davis needed all the $180mm, and I just wasn't willing to give em everything. I mean, I am not that desperate.

Also, by buying out the clinic I worked at last year, the vets were forced to give me a great recommendation, other wise I would have fired them!

Last edited by StartingoverVet; 11-19-2011 at 08:05 PM.
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Old 11-19-2011, 07:43 PM   #2
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Strange - I'm the exact opposite of you SOV

First Time Applicant - 17 years old, femal, California
Applied: UC Davis, CSU, Cornell, UPenn,
Apps withdrawn: NA
Interview: UC Davis, UPenn
Accepted: UC Davis, CSU, Cornell, UPenn

Cum GPA @ time of application: 4.5
Last 45 credit hrs: 4.5
Science GPA @ time of application: 4.5
GRE: 1600. 800q, 800v, 7 AW

Veterinary Experience:
-My great grandparents, grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins, mother, and father are all veterinarians. I was homeschooled in the back room of my dad's veterinary clinic and was allowed to certify as a registered technician when I was 7 years old due to my extended time in the clinic
-My mother is an equine vet and although I spent days with my father in the small animal clinic, I spent nights with my mother on call for emergencies.
- On lunch breaks, I would meet my granfather to do his farm calls - thus I have spent hours in farms and experience large animal medicine.
-I have never slept in my drive to bcome a veterinarian. I have accumulated 148,920 hours of veterinary experience

Animal Experience:
When not assisting my fmily in their veterinary practice, I raised 3 horses and showed them up to grand prix dressage. I have raised 5 guide dog puppies. In my spare time, I enjoy participating in wildlife rescue

Extracurricular/Community Activities:
Graduated from High School at 11, graduated from college at 14 and have spent the last 3 years serving as Town Mayor to show that I have the leadership skils necessary to become a veterinarian

Awards
-Every single one I could ever qualify for.

eLORS:
President Obama (He brings his dog to our clinic)
Ghandi
My mentor and friend, James Herriot. May he Rest In Peace.

Other
I was really afraid that I wouldn't get in this year. I felt like my stats were really weak since I ddn't have any international experience. I couldn't believe it when I got my FIRST acceptance! What a shock!! I've decided to attend two schools at the same time in order to keep my education well-rounded. Thank god for podcasts!
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Old 11-19-2011, 07:58 PM   #3
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First Time Applicant - 24 years old, male, Wisconsin
Applied: UC Davis, CSU, Cornell, UPenn, WSU, OSU, Ross, RVC
Apps withdrawn: none
Interview: CSU, UC davis, cornell, UPenn, WSU
Accepted: Cornell, CSU, and UPenn

Cum GPA @ time of application: 3.67
Last 45 credit hrs: 3.5
Science GPA @ time of application: 4.0
GRE: 1300. 600 V 700 Q

Veterinary Experience:
-none

Animal Experience:
I owned a dog growing up. I really don't like animals all that much.

Extracurricular/Community Activities:
President of my school's student government
President of my fraternity
Helping old ladies cross the street
Serving food at homeless shelters

Awards
-Deans list
- My fraternities hottest guy award

eLORS:


Other
I really dislike animals, but I couldn't get into medical school. Figured I would try my luck at being a vet. I think animals are annoying, though...
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Old 11-19-2011, 08:28 PM   #4
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First time applicant, 21 years old, female, New Jersey
Applied: Cornell, CSU, UPenn, UC Davis, NC State
Apps withdrawn: none, silly!
Interview: UPenn, NC State
Accepted: UPenn

Cum GPA: 3.5
Science GPA: 3.5
Last 45 hours GPA: 3.5
GRE: 550 V, 550 Q, 4.0 AW

Veterinary Experience: Well, I shadowed my uncle's neighbor at his small animal practice in the Hamptons. He let me hold the puppies! But, sometimes they cried when they got their shots and I didn't like that much.
-I also shadowed an equine vet who worked at the racetracks. It was so exciting! This one time, a horse broke its leg right in the middle of the race! I'm not sure what happened to that one, but the vet told me to go wait by the truck and she was done fifteen minutes later, so it must not have been that serious.
-Oh, and I shadowed a large animal vet as he visited some dairy farms. I don't think he was a very good vet. Can you believe he actually put his hand up a cow's butt?

Animal Experience:
-My pony! She's not broken or anything, but I can tell she loves me and has ever since my parents bought her for me when she was a little foal. But, sometimes she bites me, so I don't handle her much anymore.
-I pet sat for my friend's turtle one time.
-I love birdwatching!
-I've been to SeaWorld 15 times

Extracurriculars:
-President of my sorority
-Chairwoman of the Intergreek Association
-Spokeswoman for Vegans United Against Dairy Products
-Miss Congeniality of the Miss Sunshine Pagent
-Founder and Co-President of the I-Heart-Puppies Club
-Gold Star Fundraiser for Save the Puppies International
-Organizer of the 2010 Spring Fling
-Assistant organizer of the 2009 Spring Fling
-Voted "Cutest Smile" for the 2008 Senior Superlatives
-Homecoming Queen, 2007

Other:
OMG, I am so excited to be here! I kind of knew I'd get in, but I didn't want to say so before my interviews, 'cause I don't want to seem full of myself, you know what I mean? I'm gonna be the best vet ever! I think I want to be like a pediatrician . . . but for puppies! It's gonna be awesome! I just hope they don't make us do too much gross stuff in the clinics . . . I get nauseous at the sight of blood.
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Old 11-20-2011, 02:31 PM   #5
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Applicant: Registered Active PETA member
2nd time applicant, 21 years old, Female, Oregon
Applied: UC Davis, Western, Oregon State, Cornell, OSU
Rejected: UC Davis, Western, Cornell
Interview: OSU, Oregon
Accepted: Oregon

Cum GPA @ time of application: 3.89
Last 45 credit hrs: 4.0
Science GPA @ time of application: 2.8
GRE: 1200. 600q, 600v, 4 AW

Veterinary Experience:
-100 shadowing at small animal clinic

Animal Experience:
-1,000 hours volunteering at SAKPF (Save animals-kill people Foundation)
-3,000 hours holding animals going through emotional crisis
- 100 hours freeing cattle from pastures


Extracurricular/Community Activities:
-5k for animal Rights
-PETA member for 12 years
-Occupy Animal Freedom

Awards
- Most active PETA member

eLORS:
1 vets from the SA hospital
1 from philosophy professor
1 from PETA president

Other
Yea! Now I can really help animals! By pushing for animal rights and against ownership I can now help animals from the inside! I can't wait for the difference I can make in these individuals lives!
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Old 11-20-2011, 02:49 PM   #6
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Originally Posted by bbeventer View Post
-3,000 hours holding animals going through emotional crisis
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Old 11-20-2011, 03:38 PM   #7
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14 year old female from New Jersey
GPA: 4.0
Required GPA: 4.0
GRE: Never took it.
I never applied to vet school, but I guess I'm just so good with animals that somebody applied for me, because I got acceptance letters to 35 different veterinary schools. I graduated high school at 10, and by age 13 had completed both my BS and MS degrees in animal science. I love playing with baby animals, and in between classes I spent all my time at the local humane society. I now own 15 puppies and 22 kittens, all under 1 year of age. When they turn 1 year, I'll bring them back to the humane society, I just didnt want them to grow up there. And they just wont be as cute then, so I'll let someone else take care of them for a while. I plan on being a puppy pediatrician, so I guess I will go to vet school. I dont know which one to choose, so I'm going to go to the one that's ranked #1 in the world, just so I can brag somemore (it will be even better than Harvard!).
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Old 11-20-2011, 03:54 PM   #8
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I am bad at this, but it is loosely based on gossip that may or may not be true.

1st time applicant, 22 years old, Female, Oregon
Applied: AVC, Guelph, Western, Oregon
Apps withdrawn: None
Interview: AVC, Guelph, Western, Oregon
Accepted: AVC, Guelph, Western

B.Sc Biology, minors in Chemistry and Psychology

Cum GPA @ time of application: 3.60
Last 45 credit hrs: 3.75
Science GPA @ time of application: 3.5
Pre-req GPA: 4.0
GRE: 1200. 600q, 600v, 5.0 AW
MCAT: 34

Veterinary Experience:
- 475 hours shadowing my dog's vet
- 50 hours shadowing my horse's vet

Animal Experience:
- 500 hours at a shelter when I was a pre-teen
- 5000 hours riding horses (been doing it since I can walk!)
- 250 hours in a cancer research laboratory

Extracurricular/Community Activities:
- Volunteered at a blood donor clinic
- Candy striper at the local hospital
- President of the Pre-Med Society (4 years in a row)
- Alpha beta theta sorority

Awards
- Full scholarship to Oregon State
- Award for most dedicated sister in the Alpha beta theta sorority

eLORS:
My dog's vet
Riding instructor

Other
When I was 5, I reaaaallly wanted to be a vet because my mommy let me join riding lessons and I loved animals! So I started volunteering at a shelter when I was 13 and I LOVED playing with the puppies and kitties! Puppies and kitties are so cute! Mommy suggested that I shadow our dog's vet. Anal glands are really smelly and fleas make me cringe. So, maybe I could be an equine vet! But after watching the vet stick his arm up a horse's you-know-what, I started wondering if veterinary medicine is for me.

When I began university, I thought about becoming a doctor. I decided that I liked human med a lot more than veterinary med. I got rejected from med school because I did not have enough extracurriculars. My back-up plan was to go to grad school and do research on cancer! I love working in a lab! The professor I wanted to work with could not get funding.

I decided to apply to vet school (in Canada of course... less competition) and I got accepted! I wasn't sure if I wanted to go. I am still not sure if I want to go. I really cannot see myself being a vet. But... I did get in! I don't want to waste a year working like common folk or boosting my extracurriculars... so maybe I will go to vet school. It will give me something to do. If I do get into med school or grad school next year, all I have to do is drop out. Yeah. That's what I'm going to do. I will do a year of vet med and try again next year.

My best friend wanted to be a vet for years... she has thousands of hours of experience with small animal, large animal, and even zoo animals! This is her 5th time applying! Maybe if she didn't let orgo kick her butt, she would have gotten in! She was waitlisted this year... I feel so bad for her... I wish I could just give her my spot because she is very deserving, but life doesn't work like that. Keep your fingers crossed for me. I WILL get into med school next year.

Last edited by Trematode; 11-20-2011 at 04:12 PM.
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Old 11-20-2011, 04:10 PM   #9
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OMG! My first post!!!

First time applicant – 21 years old, Shangri La

Applied: Cornell, Colorado, Wisconsin, NC State
Apps Withdrawn: None
Interviewed: N/A (interviews are scary and I didn’t want to do one)
Accepted: Cornell, Colorado, Wisconsin, NC State
Attending: Don’t know yet. I’m waiting for my boyfriend to find out about business school.


Education:
BS in physical education. I really didn’t want to major in science (boor-ing!) so I just took the classes I needed.

Cum GPA: 3.8
Last 45 GPA: 4.0
Science GPA at time of app: 3.6
GRE: 1590. 800V 790Q 3.0 AW


Veterinary Experience:
20,000 hours in a small animal clinic. I know that sounds like a lot, but I’ve wanted to be a vet since before I could walk and started shadowing at the age of 3. I would stand in the back of the clinic where my uncle was a tech and would watch them do things. Then, when I got old enough to reach the tables while standing on a stool, I got to pet the puppies and kittens. That was fun and made me know that those are the only animals I’ll ever work with.


Animal experience:
- I’ve had a goldfish since I was 6.
- I watch Nature on PBS every week even though some of the animals are scary and I would never ever go near them.
- I’ve been to the zoo like 15 times.
- I found a hurt bird once and got my dad to move him (I wasn’t going touch it – ewwww!) to the side of the road so the cars wouldn’t hit him and kill him.
- My grandparents had a dog when I was little – I walked him once. But then he died and they said I couldn’t walk him anymore.
- I’ve held lots of kittens at my friend’s house (her mom breeds them).
- I gave a carrot to my friend’s horse once, but he tired to eat my hand with the carrot so now I don't like horses any more.


Extra Curricular/Community Activities/Awards:
- Crowned ‘Little Miss Wonderful' when I was 5, 6, 7, 8,and 9
- Cheerleader all four years of high school (captain junior and senior year)
- Homecoming queen
- Voted prettiest in my high school class
- Honor Roll every semester in high school
- Sorority for last four years – head of rush committee; current president; voted ‘most bubbly’ handwriting
- Dean’s List every semester so far


eLORS:
- Vet at my uncle’s clinic
- My high school cheerleading coach
- Some other vet that’s a friend of the other vet that wrote me a letter (I couldn’t find a third person willing to write me a letter, so the first vet helped me)

Other:

Other? Well, I do like other baby animals too. Baby animals are SOOOOO cute!!!
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Old 11-20-2011, 04:10 PM   #10
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Applicant: First time applicant, Female, 22
Applied: UC Davis, UPenn, Cornell, CSU, VMRCVM
Apps withdrawn: Who would do that?
Interview: none, I was accepted without an interview, I am that awesome!
Accepted: UPenn, CSU, Cornell, VMRCVM, UC Davis

Cum GPA @ time of application: 3.99
Last 45 credit hrs: 4.0
Science GPA @ time of application: 3.98 (My biochem teacher hated me and gave me a B+, otherwise I would have a 4.0; and if my UG school would have done a +/- system I would have had a 4.49 GPA)
GRE: 800q, 760v, 3.5AW (who needs to be able to write to be a vet anyway, it is all about science.)

Veterinary Experience:
15,000 hours spaying and neutering pets in Guatemala
20,000 hours working with a large animal and equine vet in New Guinea
200,000 hours helping my parents in their small animal clinic
1,000,000 hours discovering the cure for feline diabetes
Animal Experience:
-300,000 hours showing my champion line bloodhounds
-150,000 hours showing pigs at the local fairs
Extracurricular/Community Activities:
-Volunteered in Somalia feeding the homeless for 15 years
-President and Founder of the veterinary research club at my UG university
- 20 years helping to teach orphans in Africa (I was a very smart 2 year old)
Awards:
-Deans List more times than I can count
-Researcher of the year award
-Nobel Prize for discovering the cure for feline diabetes
eLORS:
-The vet who taught me how to spay and neuter pets 12 years ago
-The large animal vet in New Guinea
-The PhD/vet that assisted ME in finding the cure for feline diabetes
Other
I am completely awesome! I was sooo nervous I would not get accepted this year because that jerk biochem professor gave me a B+ when I clearly deserved an A. And what undergrad doesn't use the +/- grading system? I would have had such a high GPA if it had not been for that. Oh and the GRE is completely overrated. But, I am so awesome; did I mention that I discovered the cure for feline diabetes?!!!
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Old 11-20-2011, 04:34 PM   #11
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These are awesome! Keep them coming guys!
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Old 11-20-2011, 05:02 PM   #12
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I've got tears rolling down my face and my stomach hurts from laughing so hard. Best. Thread. Ever.
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Old 11-20-2011, 07:30 PM   #13
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I was really afraid that I wouldn't get in this year. I felt like my stats were really weak since I ddn't have any international experience. I couldn't believe it when I got my FIRST acceptance! What a shock!! I've decided to attend two schools at the same time in order to keep my education well-rounded. Thank god for podcasts!
lol love it
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Old 05-13-2012, 11:22 AM   #14
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<bump>
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Old 05-13-2012, 11:46 AM   #15
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this is probably the most entertaining read i've had in ages. I love it!!!
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Old 05-13-2012, 03:47 PM   #16
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"I've had a goldfish since I was 6." hahahhahhaha.
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Old 05-13-2012, 04:54 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by heylodeb View Post
I was really afraid that I wouldn't get in this year. I felt like my stats were really weak since I ddn't have any international experience. I couldn't believe it when I got my FIRST acceptance! What a shock!! I've decided to attend two schools at the same time in order to keep my education well-rounded. Thank god for podcasts!

HILARIOUS! Laughed so hard.
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Old 05-13-2012, 05:40 PM   #18
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Applicant: 44 year old male
Applied: Oklahoma
Apps withdrawn: Oklahoma
Interview: Police detective, 2 judges
Accepted: Oklahoma State Penitentiary

Cum GPA @ time of application: B.2
Last 45 credit hrs: B.0
Science GPA @ time of application: 14
GRE: Yes.

Veterinary Experience:
- High on cat tranquilizers right now.
- 300 hours of unsupervised surgery
- Cut open a cow once, and got inside.

Animal Experience:
- 400 hours burning ants in childhood
- 6 hours tying firecrackers to neighborhood cats
- Rode a police horse.
- Also ate the same horse
- Chased by dinosaur in dreams

Extracurricular/Community Activities:
- Soft-pen arts and crafts.
- Highway trash collection

Awards
- Solitary confinement (3x)
- Teeth fixed (mostly)
- 44 days for good behavior

eLORS:
The Governor of Space.

Other

Will be reapplying in 2032. Or 2040, depending.
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Old 05-14-2012, 04:52 AM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dsmoody23 View Post
- Cut open a cow once, and got inside.

- Rode a police horse.
- Also ate the same horse
I am laughing so hard over this!
Oh Dsmoody, you are very funny, and likely a little disturbed but I'm not complaining, keep it coming please
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Old 05-14-2012, 07:35 AM   #20
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Nice addition DSMoody!
Thanks.
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Old 05-14-2012, 10:16 AM   #21
NCSU CVM c/o 2016
 
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First Time Applicant: 22 year old female, Connecticut
Applied: I don’t know, my mom filled them out
Interviewed: Only because my mom made me – Cornell, Penn
Accepted: Cornell

Cum GPA: 3-something, I don’t really know
Last 45 credit hours: same as above, really, who looks at their grades
Science GPA: same, again, though my mom says they look alright
GRE: my mom has the scores somewhere, I just showed up when she said I had to be there

Veterinary Experience
-16 hours, I spent two days following this friend of my dads. I sat in the exam room and watched him do stuff to different animals. Mostly I was thinking about what I was doing that weekend, but the animals didn’t bark or do much so that was nice
-8 hours, I had to go follow this farm vet my dad’s friend knows. We looked at these really smelly cows on a godforsaken farm that I swear if I ever have to go back to, I’m going to throw a fit
Animal Experience
-I own a, I hope I get this name right, Red Tibetan Mastiff. I wanted a really expensive dog that like, hardly anyone owns, so I got it. She’s alright. I think she’s maybe 10 now? My mom deals with her so that’s nice
My parents own a couple of race horses we go watch in the races. They look cool.
Research Experience
-You’re joking right? Do you have any idea how many diseases or viruses or infections I could get in one of those. No thank you.
Extracurricular/Community Experience
-I went and served food at a soup kitchen once. Gross. Those people don’t even shower, what’s wrong with them?!
eLORS
-So we asked this guy whos on the dean of admissions at Cornell. Apparently hes friends with my dad from back in the old days
-That vet I shadowed for like two days

-That farm vet guy, gosh I wish I could remember his name, my mom asked him for me

Basically, my parents were all like, do something after graduation, and it was like, perfect that my dad knew the dean of admissions (or maybe it was the wife of the dean, hmmm) ‘cause they were old college buddies or something. Way better than the med school option. Touching people? Ew. Ugh, I hope I don’t have to touch gross stuff in vet school; I might throw up. I hear its way easier than med school too so that’s a plus. My moms like all excited for the ivy league experience, so that’s pretty cool. I hope it’s like Hogwarts or something. I just hope I find a husband so I can just drop out and go shopping all the time instead. But I guess this works for now.
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Old 05-14-2012, 10:39 AM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by heylodeb View Post
Strange - I'm the exact opposite of you SOV

First Time Applicant - 17 years old, femal, California
Applied: UC Davis, CSU, Cornell, UPenn,
Apps withdrawn: NA
Interview: UC Davis, UPenn
Accepted: UC Davis, CSU, Cornell, UPenn

Cum GPA @ time of application: 4.5
Last 45 credit hrs: 4.5
Science GPA @ time of application: 4.5
GRE: 1600. 800q, 800v, 7 AW

Veterinary Experience:
-My great grandparents, grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins, mother, and father are all veterinarians. I was homeschooled in the back room of my dad's veterinary clinic and was allowed to certify as a registered technician when I was 7 years old due to my extended time in the clinic
-My mother is an equine vet and although I spent days with my father in the small animal clinic, I spent nights with my mother on call for emergencies.
- On lunch breaks, I would meet my granfather to do his farm calls - thus I have spent hours in farms and experience large animal medicine.
-I have never slept in my drive to bcome a veterinarian. I have accumulated 148,920 hours of veterinary experience

Animal Experience:
When not assisting my fmily in their veterinary practice, I raised 3 horses and showed them up to grand prix dressage. I have raised 5 guide dog puppies. In my spare time, I enjoy participating in wildlife rescue

Extracurricular/Community Activities:
Graduated from High School at 11, graduated from college at 14 and have spent the last 3 years serving as Town Mayor to show that I have the leadership skils necessary to become a veterinarian

Awards
-Every single one I could ever qualify for.

eLORS:
President Obama (He brings his dog to our clinic)
Ghandi
My mentor and friend, James Herriot. May he Rest In Peace.

Other
I was really afraid that I wouldn't get in this year. I felt like my stats were really weak since I ddn't have any international experience. I couldn't believe it when I got my FIRST acceptance! What a shock!! I've decided to attend two schools at the same time in order to keep my education well-rounded. Thank god for podcasts!
My fav. the eLORS rock.
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Old 05-14-2012, 10:47 AM   #23
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You must have done a good job Katie8 because I hate you while reading it.
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Old 05-14-2012, 10:56 AM   #24
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You must have done a good job Katie8 because I hate you while reading it.
score!
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Old 05-14-2012, 11:11 AM   #25
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Extracurricular/Community Activities:
- Soft-pen arts and crafts.
- Highway trash collection

Awards
- Solitary confinement (3x)
- Teeth fixed (mostly)
- 44 days for good behavior
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Old 05-14-2012, 11:37 AM   #26
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Applicant: 21 years old, F, natural blonde, blue eyes, big boobs.
Applied: Penn
Interviewed: Penn. I was so scared, but as soon as I took my clothes off, it was okay. They liked me so much they let me interview twice.
Accepted: Penn

GPA: 3.8
Science GPA: 4.0

Veterinary experience: I slept with a veterinarian for 35 hours. OMG he was so hot. He said I'd get to play with lots of puppies and kitties if I came to his veterinary school, so here I am. He promised I'd get to see him again and that he'd introduce me to all his friends, and make sure the professors were nice to me.

Animal experience: I slept with the dog trainer at petco for 10 hours.
My ex-boyfriend and I used to go to the park and watch the ducks. They pooped everywhere.
My other ex-boyfriend had a cat. I would have gotten more experience, but the two boyfriends found out about each other and didnt want to see me anymore.

Extracurriculars: I'm a cheerleader of course. I spend lots of time in the football player's locker room. It's good for morale. The coach has said I am welcome in there anytime, that I'm his personal good luck charm. I'm also in three different sororities. I mean, I couldn't choose just one. Plus, I'm an honorary member of four fraternities.

Explanation: I'm not a very good student, so I had to get tutored in every single subject. All those nerds really helped me out, and I even got private tutoring sessions from all my teachers. I guess I'm smart, it just takes me a while to learn. I mean, look at my GPA. With some special help, I got A's in every single class, except English with old Mrs. Murberry. My tutoring with her was very different and she actually wanted me to do work. I can't help it if one professor doesn't like me, so that's why theres 1 C on my application.

LORs: the veterinarian I slept with and two of my favorite science professors. They were both young, but very good teachers



(OK, I skeeved myself out a little writing this!)
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Old 05-14-2012, 11:52 AM   #27
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I didn't read the "female" on top and thought it was a guy the whole time. When I read husband, I thought "Oh, wow, he's gay? I would've never thought.." hahaha
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Old 05-14-2012, 01:33 PM   #28
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Originally Posted by cowgirla View Post
Applicant: 21 years old, F, natural blonde, blue eyes, big boobs.
Applied: Penn
Interviewed: Penn. I was so scared, but as soon as I took my clothes off, it was okay. They liked me so much they let me interview twice.
Accepted: Penn

GPA: 3.8
Science GPA: 4.0

Veterinary experience: I slept with a veterinarian for 35 hours. OMG he was so hot. He said I'd get to play with lots of puppies and kitties if I came to his veterinary school, so here I am. He promised I'd get to see him again and that he'd introduce me to all his friends, and make sure the professors were nice to me.

Animal experience: I slept with the dog trainer at petco for 10 hours.
My ex-boyfriend and I used to go to the park and watch the ducks. They pooped everywhere.
My other ex-boyfriend had a cat. I would have gotten more experience, but the two boyfriends found out about each other and didnt want to see me anymore.

Extracurriculars: I'm a cheerleader of course. I spend lots of time in the football player's locker room. It's good for morale. The coach has said I am welcome in there anytime, that I'm his personal good luck charm. I'm also in three different sororities. I mean, I couldn't choose just one. Plus, I'm an honorary member of four fraternities.

Explanation: I'm not a very good student, so I had to get tutored in every single subject. All those nerds really helped me out, and I even got private tutoring sessions from all my teachers. I guess I'm smart, it just takes me a while to learn. I mean, look at my GPA. With some special help, I got A's in every single class, except English with old Mrs. Murberry. My tutoring with her was very different and she actually wanted me to do work. I can't help it if one professor doesn't like me, so that's why theres 1 C on my application.

LORs: the veterinarian I slept with and two of my favorite science professors. They were both young, but very good teachers



(OK, I skeeved myself out a little writing this!)
This reminds me of the 30 Rock episodes with John Hamm (the guy from Mad Men), where he just always gets what he wants because he is so good looking, but is actually bad at everything and dumb.

And I take offense at this girl getting into Penn! Or I should say I WISH she got into Penn, because I don't see anyone fitting this description.
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Old 05-14-2012, 01:38 PM   #29
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This reminds me of the 30 Rock episodes with John Hamm (the guy from Mad Men), where he just always gets what he wants because he is so good looking, but is actually bad at everything and dumb.

And I take offense at this girl getting into Penn! Or I should say I WISH she got into Penn, because I don't see anyone fitting this description.
I love John Hamm's character in 30 Rock!
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Old 05-14-2012, 01:41 PM   #30
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I WISH she got into Penn, because I don't see anyone fitting this description.
Dirty old man
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Old 05-14-2012, 01:48 PM   #31
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Dirty old man
I resemble that remark.
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Old 05-14-2012, 08:27 PM   #32
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Originally Posted by Dsmoody23 View Post
Applicant:

Veterinary Experience:
- High on cat tranquilizers right now.
...
- Cut open a cow once, and got inside.

Animal Experience:
...
- Rode a police horse.
- Also ate the same horse
- Chased by dinosaur in dreams
Hahahaha!

Last edited by Psorophoraferox; 05-14-2012 at 08:28 PM. Reason: Somehow misspelled "Hahahaha". It's been a long day...
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Old 05-15-2012, 12:08 AM   #33
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I just hope I find a husband so I can just drop out and go shopping all the time instead.
Gold.
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Old 05-15-2012, 07:55 PM   #34
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I have accumulated 148,920 hours of veterinary experience
Uhhh... You do know this is a joke thread, right? So why are you posting your actual stats?
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Old 05-15-2012, 08:14 PM   #35
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My fav. the eLORS rock.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Spinach Dip View Post
Uhhh... You do know this is a joke thread, right? So why are you posting your actual stats?
Lol. If only I had been so dedicated in my pre-vet school life..... It was hard enough to get the 1,200 I did get!
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