I feel like a dick...but I really want to do this...please advise!

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Basically, a girl who hurt my closest friend is starting medical school this august. she has made my friend's life in college a living nightmare - spreading malicious rumors, accusing him of htings that aren't true, etc. unfortunately, the administrators believed the girl and gave my friend many disciplinary sanctions for things he didn't do. long story short, my friend's life lies in ruin now, and it sickens me to see this c*** going to med school after all she has done.

the good news? i know which med school she's going to, and i am this close to sending that med school an anonymous email exposing what this animal did to my friend. my friend was a good student until she messed up his life - he even tried to commit suicide. as his friend, i feel that this is the least i can do. and btw, i am not a pre med student so i don't care what any of you say regarding jealous or any of that crap. my friend is a frequent visitor to this site, and that's where i found out about sdn. i just want to help me friend out and make him feel better. what do you guys think? if the medical school receives an email i send them, will they investigate and ask that girl what went on? should i send an electronic email, or a paper mail?

I think it would be most effective if you went in person. It's all about the face time, baby

I am grateful that I don't know you

Alert:

Originally Posted by BlueLabel

I think it would be most effective if you went in person. It's all about the face time, baby

I disagree. A note composed of letters clipped out of magazines and glued to a sheet of paper would be most appropriate for this situation.

I know easier ways of getting this individual into a lot more trouble. I'm talking kicked out of medical school and behind bars.

Originally Posted by JESSFALLING

I am grateful that I don't know you

Alert:

This guy is clearly legit

Originally Posted by thesauce

This guy is clearly legit

Even if this isn't a troll post, we don't have both sides and it is impossible to know who really did what, so why bother. That said, my apathetic comment and suggestion to lock stems from the fact that the OP's posting is distasteful and crude, i.e. "it sickens me to see this c*** going to med school". The OP clearly could have asked the same question in a less inflammatory fashion....but did not.

You can go ahead and do whatever you want but unless you have something that sticks, she can't be touched. No pun intended here.

Originally Posted by JESSFALLING

I am grateful that I don't know you

Alert:

I agree trolling

Originally Posted by tn4596

You can go ahead and do whatever you want but unless you have something that sticks, she can't be touched. No pun intended here.

Unless your friend is proven innocent and those sanctions are reversed, the medical school will simply not believe that she did anything wrong.

don't do it.

Do it in person. Video tape all of it. Post it here for us...you know, for feedback and whatnot.

Replace her tampons with dynamite.

I'm assuming you're a troll. # posts = 1. But, regardless, I've noticed other posts like this where someone wants to get another in trouble for what they believe are ethical violations.

My best advice is to do nothing. As said before, you dont know both sides of the story. More importantly, if the person is SO horrible, then she will get whats coming to her. Somewhere along the line (in med school, in residency, in her job) someone will notice the severe lack of ethical concern and her career will falter without your meddling.

Be an adult and don't do this please. I don't know the situation but this isn't going to do any bit of good. It's a crappy situation but it sounds like there is nothing you can do. If she truly made up all of these rumors then just live in the idea that she'll get what she deserves some day and just move on with your life.

Originally Posted by JESSFALLING

Even if this isn't a troll post, we don't have both sides and it is impossible to know who really did what, so why bother. That said, my apathetic comment and suggestion to lock stems from the fact that the OP's posting is distasteful and crude, i.e. "it sickens me to see this c*** going to med school". The OP clearly could have asked the same question in a less inflammatory fashion....but did not.

oh no crude language. the vapors.

if this is true and some turdburglar fcked over my friend i don't think i'd post in a very nice way either.

Originally Posted by sliceofbread136

Replace her tampons with dynamite.

your comments lately have just been killing it

Your fiend should not have been so persistent asking her to PIITB. Now he reaps what he sow.


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I am here: http://tapatalk.com/map.php?22mu4t

Originally Posted by milski

Your fiend should not have been so persistent asking her to PITB. Now he reaps what he sow.


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I am here: http://tapatalk.com/map.php?22mu4t

It's PIITB. If you're going to be a misc troll, atleast do it ****ing right.

Originally Posted by sliceofbread136

It's PIITB. If you're going to be a misc troll, atleast do it ****ing right.

now thats how you get pink eye

Originally Posted by sliceofbread136

Replace her tampons with dynamite.

lol

post the guys info on 4chan and claim that he likes to torture cats or something

Ok look noob, here's what you do. Get plastic surgery to be super attractive and look totally different than you do now. Change your name legally. Get accepted to her med school; hook up with her and then marry her and have kids with her. Then when she starts to age and you still look sweet dump her and tell her its all been a lie to pay her back for being such a c-bomb in college! That'll show her.

Originally Posted by Gamechanger

Ok look noob, here's what you do. Get plastic surgery to be super attractive and look totally different than you do now. Change your name legally. Get accepted to her med school; hook up with her and then marry her and have kids with her. Then when she starts to age and you still look sweet dump her and tell her its all been a lie to pay her back for being such a c-bomb in college! That'll show her.

Originally Posted by Gamechanger

Ok look noob, here's what you do. Get plastic surgery to be super attractive and look totally different than you do now. Change your name legally. Get accepted to her med school; hook up with her and then marry her and have kids with her. Then when she starts to age and you still look sweet dump her and tell her its all been a lie to pay her back for being such a c-bomb in college! That'll show her.

I think I've seen that one pulled off before...
but I don't remember which documentary it was in: "She's all That", "Face-Off", or "Mean Girls"?

Thanks to everyone who posted a legitimate response. First, this is not a "troll" post. I've known this friend since high school, and he is someone I respect and admire. Second, I apologize for using the word c*** in my first post; understandably, I am extremely angry so I chose to use profanity in order to demonstrate my feelings. But I completely understand that on such a forum, we need to exercise restraint. So I apologize.

But this is definitely something I am leaning towards. I simply cannot allow this girl to move on with her life at a top medical school when she has done so much in the past that have hurt someone so terribly. If I write/send an anonymous letter, will the medical school investigate the issue, or just swipe it under the rug? I heard medical schools have very strict honor codes and high expectations of their students, and I would assume that they will take appropriate action. Even if she doesn't get kicked out or placed on probation, I hope at least her medical school will contact her about it and make it known to her that someone hasn't turned a blind eye to her actions over the past three years.

Originally Posted by defunct0z

Thanks to everyone who posted a legitimate response. First, this is not a "troll" post. I've known this friend since high school, and he is someone I respect and admire. Second, I apologize for using the word c*** in my first post; understandably, I am extremely angry so I chose to use profanity in order to demonstrate my feelings. But I completely understand that on such a forum, we need to exercise restraint. So I apologize.

But this is definitely something I am leaning towards. I simply cannot allow this girl to move on with her life at a top medical school when she has done so much in the past that have hurt someone so terribly. If I write/send an anonymous letter, will the medical school investigate the issue, or just swipe it under the rug? I heard medical schools have very strict honor codes and high expectations of their students, and I would assume that they will take appropriate action. Even if she doesn't get kicked out or placed on probation, I hope at least her medical school will contact her about it and make it known to her that someone hasn't turned a blind eye to her actions over the past three years.

Med schools are very busy and with limited resources, unless you have hard evidence of a legit crime (read: felony) being committed your letter will prob be filed in the garbage.

Also, if the girl is as manipulative and evil as you make her sound, I'm sure she would make some diabolical plot to completely decimate you once she caught wind of your letter.

so you are telling me that there's nothing I can do, and that she should be allowed to continue medical school? what if i am insistent with the letter and get some of my other friends (who also share similar sentiments) to write letters as well?

Originally Posted by defunct0z

so you are telling me that there's nothing I can do, and that she should be allowed to continue medical school? what if i am insistent with the letter and get some of my other friends (who also share similar sentiments) to write letters as well?

They will prob think that some jealous person posted info about her on 4chan and that they are, as a result, getting hate mail/spam about the girl.

Not legit felony/etc that is verifiable = garbage can.

Originally Posted by defunct0z

so you are telling me that there's nothing I can do, and that she should be allowed to continue medical school? what if i am insistent with the letter and get some of my other friends (who also share similar sentiments) to write letters as well?

sorry man

Originally Posted by Blais

They will prob think that some jealous person posted info about her on 4chan and that they are, as a result, getting hate mail/spam about the girl.

Not legit felony/etc that is verifiable = garbage can.

What has this world come to then? Just let her go? There has to be another way...

Do you truly think your friend will magically "be okay" with the whole situation if you ruin this girl's life? Do you think it will somehow help him heal emotionally? I doubt it, and if it does, she probably didn't do all the terrible things that he said she did. This situation, as you've described it, sounds pretty petty to me--a random uninvolved observer. I imagine it would sound pretty petty to a med school too.

I understand and respect your view, but trust me, this situation is nothing petty. My friend has tried to committee suicide because of what she did, and our undergrad university certainly didn't think it was petty as it repeatedly harassed my friends with sanctions all based on absolutely malicious rumors. I doubt that if I can get more than a dozen people and have them all write to the medical school, the school will take notice and at least investigate.

Does your friend know you want to do this? Is he ok with it?

Originally Posted by defunct0z

I understand and respect your view, but trust me, this situation is nothing petty. My friend has tried to committee suicide because of what she did, and our undergrad university certainly didn't think it was petty as it repeatedly harassed my friends with sanctions all based on absolutely malicious rumors. I doubt that if I can get more than a dozen people and have them all write to the medical school, the school will take notice and at least investigate.

dude be real. if your college did an investigation and believed this girl, what makes you think a med school will investigate based off some anonymous email and find differently? it's a sheisty situation but this just won't work

Originally Posted by JaBoomDay

Does your friend know you want to do this? Is he ok with it?

I've known this friend for 6+ years. And during college, he couldn't stop talking to me about the things this girl has done to him. No one else were willing to listen/believe him, so he turned to me, someone he can always count on.

And to answer your question, YES. I did talk to him about it (even told him that he should write to the medical school because it would make more sense), but after second thought, I told him again that I should write the letter along with a few of our mutual friends. The reason is that he is in a very emotionally distraught situation right now, and I am genuinely afraid that if he were to write the letter, he would use extreme language that wouldn't get anything done. I definitely understand his pain (and everyone else would if they would just spend a day in his shoes - I spent 3 years), and as his close friend, it is my obligation and responsibility to do this.

Originally Posted by defunct0z

Basically, a girl who hurt my closest friend is starting medical school this august. she has made my friend's life in college a living nightmare - spreading malicious rumors, accusing him of htings that aren't true, etc. unfortunately, the administrators believed the girl and gave my friend many disciplinary sanctions for things he didn't do. long story short, my friend's life lies in ruin now, and it sickens me to see this c*** going to med school after all she has done.

the good news? i know which med school she's going to, and i am this close to sending that med school an anonymous email exposing what this animal did to my friend. my friend was a good student until she messed up his life - he even tried to commit suicide. as his friend, i feel that this is the least i can do. and btw, i am not a pre med student so i don't care what any of you say regarding jealous or any of that crap. my friend is a frequent visitor to this site, and that's where i found out about sdn. i just want to help me friend out and make him feel better. what do you guys think? if the medical school receives an email i send them, will they investigate and ask that girl what went on? should i send an electronic email, or a paper mail?

My suggestion: Don't do it! First, unless there is some serious evidence that she did something illegal/malicious, it just becomes libel. Libel can have some serious legal consequences. Second, we don't have both sides of the story, so it's difficult to know what happened. There are always 2 sides to every story. Emailing a school to say, so and so was mean to my friend, or so and so did this or that is simply lame and silly. Not only will you come off as a nutcase, but if the person finds out they can likely sue you not only for libel, but for malice, but stress (particularly given how stressful first year is), and for a bunch of other things.

You also have to realize that petty things that people do in college, while annoying, stupid, etc are not really actionable. For example, if I'm dating someone and the dude leaves me and I feel he's an intolerable pig, while inappropriate, that does not mean that the dude necessarily did anything wrong. So we dont know what this girl supposedly did. Further if your friend's life was "ruined," which we also don't know what it exactly means, clearly someone agreed with the girl and maybe punished your friend or something. So for all we know she was right and your friend was wrong about things. You also have to realize that while it's really sad that your friend tried to commit suicide, it's not this girl's fault or anyone else's. If anything, your friend should seek seriously professional help. We are all under tremendous amounts of stress and most of us don't attempt suicide. His attempt at suicide talks more seriously about his underlying mental health and the need for him to see someone.

Also unless as I've stated above you have evidence that this person did anything that has left a mark on her record, nothing will become of it. No record, it just comes across as a psycho dude who is trying to torment a poor medical student, who will likely take legal action against you.

Finally, as a human being, you should pursue peace and kindness and good things for yourself and others, not trying to ruin people's lives. Two wrongs don't make a right dude. If anything, try to be of support to your friend and work to make his life better.

Originally Posted by RogueUnicorn

dude be real. if your college did an investigation and believed this girl, what makes you think a med school will investigate based off some anonymous email and find differently? it's a sheisty situation but this just won't work

Exactly, a shorter version of what I said below.

I really do understand the emotional pain behind this situation driving your motivation to do this. Do you worry at all that this could result in further negative consequence for your friend? They'll know where it came from- if not from him, from one of his friends. What if she claims harassment?
I just don't think it will do any bit of good. It might give you guys a feeling that you have done something to take control of a situation that you are powerless in, but in the end I don't think it's going to help. What is your hope to get out of this? Another investigation into a matter that has seemingly been resolved by your university?

Throughout life people will make you mad
Disrespect you and treat you bad
Let God deal with the things they do
Cause hate in your heart will consume you too

- Will Smith, Just The Two of Us from the multi-platinum selling solo recording "Big Willie Style"

Originally Posted by Dermpath

Finally, as a human being, you should pursue peace and kindness and good things for yourself and others, not trying to ruin people's lives. Two wrongs don't make a right dude. If anything, try to be of support to your friend and work to make his life better.

This is what a mature adult looks like. Please take this person's advice.

Originally Posted by DOCBERT

Throughout life people will make you mad
Disrespect you and treat you bad
Let God deal with the things they do
Cause hate in your heart will consume you too

- Will Smith, Just The Two of Us from the multi-platinum selling solo recording "Big Willie Style"

the quote made me smirk, but your citation made me lol

I hate to say this but your friend should have been able to tell he was in a cancerous relationship, keep his cool and his distance and end it. He can't controll other people but he can control himself. Maybe i'm just an antisocial neurotic pre-med but there is no freaking way a girl can come between me and my studies.

Originally Posted by Verum

I hate to say this but your friend should have been able to tell he was in a cancerous relationship, keep his cool and his distance and end it. He can't controll other people but he can control himself. Maybe i'm just an antisocial neurotic pre-med but there is no freaking way a girl can come between me and my studies.

thanks for all the constructive responses guys. now that i've listened to your advice...i am having second thoughts about this. maybe i'll just have to accept that there are a**holes in life and that sometimes, they get away with things while good people suffer.

right now, the greatest hatred in me isn't towards this girl (if we can call her - or maybe 'it' would be better - that), but towards myself for not having the power or the ability to do something.

i can only wish her the absolutely very worst in all her endeavors. may she become infected when dissecting cadavers, and may great calamity befall upon her and her family - present and future.

Originally Posted by defunct0z

Basically, a girl who hurt my closest friend is starting medical school this august. she has made my friend's life in college a living nightmare - spreading malicious rumors, accusing him of htings that aren't true, etc. unfortunately, the administrators believed the girl and gave my friend many disciplinary sanctions for things he didn't do. long story short, my friend's life lies in ruin now, and it sickens me to see this c*** going to med school after all she has done.

the good news? i know which med school she's going to, and i am this close to sending that med school an anonymous email exposing what this animal did to my friend. my friend was a good student until she messed up his life - he even tried to commit suicide. as his friend, i feel that this is the least i can do. and btw, i am not a pre med student so i don't care what any of you say regarding jealous or any of that crap. my friend is a frequent visitor to this site, and that's where i found out about sdn. i just want to help me friend out and make him feel better. what do you guys think? if the medical school receives an email i send them, will they investigate and ask that girl what went on? should i send an electronic email, or a paper mail?

You have problems.

Try to think rationally. If there is any potential to bring any more negative consequence to your friend (even if the chance seems miniscule) then DON'T DO IT. It's just not worth it.

Is no one else curious about what the OP is claiming the girl did specifically? cmon man feed your audience, we could probably give you more specific advice, but I have a feeling the reason you're not giving us details is because it might sound a bit petty when put to word... which would be good reason not to send a letter to her medical school

Revenge won't help you friend. That being said, if you do decide to carry on your revenge then I will neither condemn nor condone the action as long as you either publish a well written account of the story or create a decent 3 star or higher tv series about it.

so here's the deal. this girl falsely spread rumors about my friend, saying that he harassed/stalked her, none of those ever happened. she even made claims against my friend to the student affairs office, and because the burden of proof for harassment/sexual assault charges are so low (preponderance of evidence = 50%, thanks to Joe Biden) on american campuses, my friend was found responsible for actions he never came close to committing. and we should all know how much of the judicial systems in american colleges are mostly kangroo courts where innocent and good people get convicted without any evidence.