A General Lack of Kindness in These Threads

[LAPsyGuy]

I'm often amazed at how some of the more aggressive posters claim they are providing feedback in a nonpersonalizing manner while being degrading and insulting. I can only imagine how they function in the therapy room or with students. Frightening to say the least. Functionally, it's an advanced level of bullying. Your egos may not be hoisted up by your titles, but, perhaps they are by your abusive behavior. I guess being awful is ok as long as facts are on your side. Yes, being trained in evidence based Tx is key, but some of the personality impaired posters seem to be ignoring (or are incapable of using) the common factors shown to be so effective in helping to heal our clients/patients.

My request is that we attend to being not only right, but also compassionate. Due try to set a good example for all the overwhelmed students seeking information, support, and wisdom from those farther along on the path.

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[A Blue Duck]

While I agree with the general sentiment of your post (who doesn't want people to be kind to one another...), some of it comes off as a bit hyperbolic ("abusive behavior"; expecting the same level of discourse on an internet forum as in a clinical setting). And yes, I have lurked over the activity in the other thread you posted in.

Although there are many others who do so much more frequently (and better) than me, my primary intent in posting here is to help future applicants with understanding and succeeding in the admissions process, which I just went through. Unfortunately, there are some harsh realities concerning two interrelated, frequently discussed board topics: getting into Clinical PhD programs, and the consequences of attending FSPS programs.

It seems tempers are quick to flare and offense liberally taken during discussion of these topics. While you may have a case in that we can and should work toward a kinder overall board, my opinion is that some level of offense taking is inevitable; this should not dissuade the presentation of much needed blunt advice.

Most of the "overwhelmed students" that come here aren't looking for a good example on how to behave, they are looking for graduate and career advice. And that is exactly what they will get- whether they like what they hear or not is a different story.

 

[erg923]

I'm often amazed at how some of the more aggressive posters claim they are providing feedback in a nonpersonalizing manner while being degrading and insulting. I can only imagine how they function in the therapy room or with students. Frightening to say the least. Functionally, it's an advanced level of bullying. Your egos may not be hoisted up by your titles, but, perhaps they are by your abusive behavior. I guess being awful is ok as long as facts are on your side. Yes, being trained in evidence based Tx is key, but some of the personality impaired posters seem to be ignoring (or are incapable of using) the common factors shown to be so effective in helping to heal our clients/patients.

My request is that we attend to being not only right, but also compassionate. Due try to set a good example for all the overwhelmed students seeking information, support, and wisdom from those farther along on the path.

1. I was unaware that we are running psychtherapy sessions on this board. How I interact with professionals is not how I interact with patients. If you claim to act with your friends or when debating professioanl topics the same way you do in the therapy room, you are either lying you ass off or you have poor insight.

2. I think strong opinions can be delivered matter-of-factly and bluntly. I don't think one needs to be particularly soft or warm when delivering opinions in the context of intellectual and/or scholarly debate (as opposed to psychotherapy). Most other professions don't buy into that either. I have yet to see personal insults (assertions that some training is of poorer quality than others is not an insult, its just an unfortunate reality), name calling, nuggies, or lunch money stealing.

3. Kindness is the act of helping others in a respectful way. It does not mean validation of all choices or all behaviors. You dont even necessarily have to have much empathy or sympathy to be "kind." Kind does not have to be warm and fuzzy. Some of the gruffest Priests and Brothers I ever had in school were also the most "kind."

 

[WisNeuro]

Case in point, Albert Ellis. Gruff, swore like a sailor, blunt, helped countless people personally and with his REBT/RET.

 

[Therapist4Chnge]

1. SDN actually does an excellent job of moderating their forums, as most other corners of the internet are toxic and truly abrasive. It is worth noting that a great deal of (unpaid) effort is made on behalf of posters and lurkers here. If this forum is too abrasive, I'd strongly recommend against asking professionals their opinions out in the real world, as there are no moderators to set a collegial tone for such a discussion.

2. Readers can take or leave the information provided here, though over the years countless posters have shared (across a variety of threads and countless PMs) about the value of receiving honest feedback, even if that feedback was not in line with their pre-conceived ideas and understanding of the field of psychology. Being able to actually hear feedback is an important aspect of training in the field, as it helps us develop as clinicians and scientists/researchers; it only gets harder in training because students are then working with real patients in real crisis and there are legal and ethical responsibilities for the supervisor to ensure safety of the patients and students.

3. Interaction online and in a therapy room are as similar as playing a racing game and having to drive a school bus in NYC traffic. The former is clearly not done in a professional context, while the latter has a great deal more involved (e.g. licensure, legal obligation, etc).

4. "Overwhelmed students" will be in a financially and often professionally crippling position if they blindly pursue training and rack up $100k-$200k+ in loans without a clear ability to pay it back. The compassionate (def: 'showing concern for others') thing is to warn them, not tell them everything will be okay as they throw themselves into a scenario that will heap on even more pressure and risk.

5. I wish this forum was around when I was evaluating programs, as I missed out on some great (balanced) programs that I had no idea existed. Back then there was little opportunity to solicit feedback from students and professionals who were willing to share what they have learned about the process. That is actually a big reason why I helped grow the forum and volunteered my time as the moderator, as the alternative was….Yahoo Answers and random advice from advisors who graduated 25-30+ years ago. I truly appreciated my advisors, but their world of graduate psych training has changed vastly since then, which is why students should and do visit SDN for additional information about programs and the field of psychology.

 

[PsyDr]

I'm often amazed at how some of the more aggressive OPs claim they are providing feedback to other posters while being degrading and insulting. I can only imagine how they function in the therapy room or as students. Frightening to say the least. Functionally, saying people are bad clinicians if they don't act to others' expectations is an advanced level of bullying. Their egos may not be hoisted up by their student status, but, perhaps they are by your abusive behavior. I guess being awful is okay as long as facts are on your side or no one is looking at how hypocritical it is for me to name call others, while asking for people to be more kind.


i'll show myself out.

 

[WisNeuro]

Totally agreed PsyDr, I find it interesting that the same posters decrying the advice are perfectly fine with throwing ad hominem attacks on posters clinical prowess at the same time for how they respond to questions in an internet forum in response to questions about training programs. Seems a bit disingenuous.

 

[smalltownpsych]

Would pointing out serious grammatical errors be considered bullying?

 

[WisNeuro]

If so, then there are a lot of middle and high school teachers that are terrible bullies. They should be stopped.

 

[PsyDr]

http://albertellis.org/how-to-deal-with-difficult-people-clip/

 

[LAPsyGuy]

Thank you for the wonderful examples right here in this thread.

Let me point out some of the more bizarre and sad examples of how your claims of logic and reason are anything but:

- "Most of the "overwhelmed students" that come here aren't looking for a good example on how to behave, they are looking for graduate and career advice."

-So if you perceive they aren't looking for a good example, then professionalism be damned? Do I have to say anything more about why this is misguided, unprofessional, and generally lame defensive move?
​

- "Kindness is the act of helping others in a respectful way. It does not mean validation of all choices or all behaviors. You dont even necessarily have to have much empathy or sympathy to be "kind." Kind does not have to be warm and fuzzy. Some of the gruffest Priests and Brothers I ever had in school were also the most "kind.""

-Yes, kindness is helping others in a respectful way. I'm making the claim that you are NOT being respectful. No, you don't have to validate other people's life choices, but you also don't have to be generally invalidating either.You know the old saying about a spoonful of sugar. Is your life goal really to be the wise old curmudgeon? That's the best example of kindness and compassion you can muster? Sad.

​

- "Interaction online and in a therapy room are as similar as playing a racing game and having to drive a school bus in NYC traffic. The former is clearly not done in a professional context, while the latter has a great deal more involved (e.g. licensure, an established relationship, etc)."

- Another misguided argument for abandoning professionalism when it seems convenient to you. You're on a psychology board, please act like it.
​

-"Case in point, Albert Ellis. Gruff, swore like a sailor, blunt, helped countless people personally and with his REBT/RET."

-So is this what you're claiming to do on this site? You're applying Ellis' ideas to career counseling, or did you just rummage through your memory to find the rare example of a successful, unpleasant therapist?​

I don't see reasoning here, I see a lot of defensiveness, rationalization, and poor excuses for poor behavior. Your inability to present yourselves as professionals to each other and to future psychologists disheartening. I'm sure the majority of students will be able to glean the information they need from caustic style of delivery, but I'm guessing they are also receiving meta-messages about you and about the profession of psychology from that style. Perhaps they're learning that psychology or at least psychologists tend to be cold, matter-of-fact individuals who lack some basic social skills in delivering much needed guidance.

I'm inviting you to get your act together in how you deliver your helpful information.

​

​

 

[WisNeuro]

Bottom line, we're not doing therapy on this site. People ask for advice, we give it, blunt or not. Be as hypocritical as you want, it doesn't change the facts. Generally people find it "abusive" and bullying when they get information that doesn't jive with their preconceived notions. I've helped over a dozen of people on this site by looking at letters, CV's, etc. Different advice and help comes with different questions.

I, for one, love my profession strongly enough that I will actively fight against threats to it's well-being. One of the foremost happens to be diploma mills. I don't cater my advice around the cognitive dissonance of others.

 

[LAPsyGuy]

Bottom line, we're not doing therapy on this site. People ask for advice, we give it, blunt or not. Be as hypocritical as you want, it doesn't change the facts. Generally people find it "abusive" and bullying when they get information that doesn't jive with their preconceived notions. I've helped over a dozen of people on this site by looking at letters, CV's, etc. Different advice and help comes with different questions.

I, for one, love my profession strongly enough that I will actively fight against threats to it's well-being. One of the foremost happens to be diploma mills. I don't cater my advice around the cognitive dissonance of others.

Perhaps this thread isn't about you. Did I say anywhere that we should conduct therapy on this site? Do you actually believe I'm suggesting that? I appreciate your service as I'm sure others do too. I'm making a different point that I don't want to get lost in the emotional responses that are being generated. Help in all its forms is wonderful and appreciated. Doing it in an invalidating way is not helpful to the person being helped, to those observing or to the profession as a whole. Simple point.

 

[cara susanna]

1. SDN actually does an excellent job of moderating their forums, as most other corners of the internet are toxic and truly abrasive. It is worth noting that a great deal of (unpaid) effort is made on behalf of posters and lurkers here. If this forum is too abrasive, I'd strongly recommend against asking professionals their opinions out in the real world, as there are no moderators to set a collegial tone for such a discussion.

Seriously! I am a member of other message boards (non-psychology) and some of them are so mean that I'm afraid to post new threads.

 

[erg923]

​

-Yes, kindness is helping others in a respectful way. I'm making the claim that you are NOT being respectful. No, you don't have to validate other people's life choices, but you also don't have to be generally invalidating either.You know the old saying about a spoonful of sugar. Is your life goal really to be the wise old curmudgeon? That's the best example of kindness and compassion you can muster? Sad.​

Good God, son! I am not Mary Poppins. And neither are most health care providers.

Your student persceptive will not stand up in real world clinical work settings. How on earth do you plan on working collabratively with health providers who would open scoff at "spoon for sugar" stuff. I think many of them would argue sometimes a dose or reality, brevity, or "not beating around the bush" helps the medicine go down. So, yes, give that try with a surgeon/internist/neurologist and get back to me. Mmmmk...

When you are no longer a student you dont have the luxury of getting butt hurt and then walking away. And you probably dont want to be lecturing them on manners either, lest you want referalls to dry up and clinical adminstrators turning your lights off.

 

[MCParent]

I don't see reasoning here

Ditto.

 

[LAPsyGuy]

Seriously! I am a member of other message boards (non-psychology) and some of them are so mean that I'm afraid to post new threads.

Agreed, there is no out-and-out abuse on this part of the site, and that is commendable. I'm talking about something more subtle, or insidious.

 

[WisNeuro]

Oh, I don't think we're very subtle. If we feel someone is making a bad career move and taking on unnecessary debt, we'll tell them in a straightforward way. It's generally how we operate.

 

[LAPsyGuy]

Good God, son! I am not Mary Poppins. And neither are most health care providers.

Your student persceptive will not stand up in real world clinical work settings. How on earth do you plan on working collabratively with health providers who would open scoff at "spoon for sugar" stuff. I think many of them would argue sometimes a dose or reality, brevity, or "not beating around the bush" helps the medicine go down. So, yes, give that try with a surgeon/internist/neurologist and get back to me. Mmmmk...

When you are no longer a student you dont have the luxury of getting butt hurt and then walking away. And you probably dont want to be lecturing them on manners either, lest you want referalls to dry up and clinical adminstrators turning your lights off.

Your use of the invalidating "son" is a good example. Thanks for supplying it.

So your argument is that being invalidating and unpleasant, and sometime rude, is a lesson in itself? This is you sharing the cold hard truths about the world? Again, I want to ask if this is the sort of thing you want to perpetuate, because that's all you're doing, keeping it going. This place is supposed to be about support and guidance. I wonder if you can share about the cold hard truths about the world without engaging in them yourself. "Son, somebody might punch you on the play ground, so I'm gonna do it here in our home, you know, for your own good." Lame excuse for poor behavior. You seem to be making the mistake of validating that which should not be validated, and invalidating that which should be validated. Get it straight, son!

I never advocated getting butt hurt by a boss and walking away, not have I advocated giving a boss a lecture on manners. This place is not our job, and you may be confusing yourself with a boss. You're not a boss here. Get your roles straight, son. Feel free to tell us what it's like to have a clinical job, but I'm not sure if replicating the experience here.

I think you may be assuming I'm young and inexperienced because I'm a student. I'm a career changer with over a decade in health care administration at the corporate office level. I've managed departments of both administrator and clinicians. I've project managed interdisciplinary teams. I've fired, hired, and evaluated people at various levels. I've reorganized departments including departments with union representation. And yes, I've worked with jerks, but never have I ever seen anybody suggest that anybody should be rude or invalidating because...hey that's the real world. Feel free to educated to the lowest level of social functioning, but it's a odd thing to endorse. Kind of sad, son.

I'm not sure why you seem to love the status quo so much, and why you don't seem to hope for more from the people we all work with. I'm not sure why you and others on this board want to blame those who are hurt for their feelings, and suggest that if they're experiencing an emotions, it's because of their inferiority on some measure.

You're right, you're not Mary Poppins. Maybe you think you're aiming for Ellis, but you're ending up more like WC Fields.

 

[LAPsyGuy]

Oh, I don't think we're very subtle. If we feel someone is making a bad career move and taking on unnecessary debt, we'll tell them in a straightforward way. It's generally how we operate.

Not what I meant. I meant that the negative behavior is more subtle than to force moderation.

 

[WisNeuro]

Moderation has its place and time, as does straightforwardness. Both will be misconstrued and/or taken depending on one's context.

 

[PsyDr]

dude, if you want people to be more kind and less invalidating... should you be mean and invalidate others' points?

 

[WisNeuro]

Apparently pot has never met kettle

 

[cara susanna]

"Son" strikes me as more condescending than invalidating, at least from my understanding of invalidation.

 

[erg923]

"Son" strikes me as more condescending than invalidating, at least from my understanding of invalidation.

This was a common colloquial expression when/where I grew up.

 

[erg923]

Your use of the invalidating "son" is a good example. Thanks for supplying it.

So your argument is that being invalidating and unpleasant, and sometime rude, is a lesson in itself? This is you sharing the cold hard truths about the world? Again, I want to ask if this is the sort of thing you want to perpetuate, because that's all you're doing, keeping it going. This place is supposed to be about support and guidance. I wonder if you can share about the cold hard truths about the world without engaging in them yourself. "Son, somebody might punch you on the play ground, so I'm gonna do it here in our home, you know, for your own good." Lame excuse for poor behavior. You seem to be making the mistake of validating that which should not be validated, and invalidating that which should be validated. Get it straight, son!

I never advocated getting butt hurt by a boss and walking away, not have I advocated giving a boss a lecture on manners. This place is not our job, and you may be confusing yourself with a boss. You're not a boss here. Get your roles straight, son. Feel free to tell us what it's like to have a clinical job, but I'm not sure if replicating the experience here.

I think you may be assuming I'm young and inexperienced because I'm a student. I'm a career changer with over a decade in health care administration at the corporate office level. I've managed departments of both administrator and clinicians. I've project managed interdisciplinary teams. I've fired, hired, and evaluated people at various levels. I've reorganized departments including departments with union representation. And yes, I've worked with jerks, but never have I ever seen anybody suggest that anybody should be rude or invalidating because...hey that's the real world. Feel free to educated to the lowest level of social functioning, but it's a odd thing to endorse. Kind of sad, son.

I'm not sure why you seem to love the status quo so much, and why you don't seem to hope for more from the people we all work with. I'm not sure why you and others on this board want to blame those who are hurt for their feelings, and suggest that if they're experiencing an emotions, it's because of their inferiority on some measure.

You're right, you're not Mary Poppins. Maybe you think you're aiming for Ellis, but you're ending up more like WC Fields.

I think you're being a bit of drama queen.

I think what we are saying is that we value helping others and that there are different ways to do this-Straightforward vs more longwinded and soft. The proverbial "compliment sandwich," right? Well, not everbody has the latter personality, nor should they be expected to. Professionalism should not be equated to the latter description either.

I have never been cited for being "unprofessional" in my duties as a psychologist, (both attending and in consult roles),supervisor, or administrator. Never. Why do you think this is?

And what's wrong with WC fields?

 

[CKAW]

Still in school but I agree with everyone on here, both sides. I think it comes with the territory, and it's just one more paradox of having a hyper-competitive professional culture surrounding the delivery of a humane and empathetic product. It is what it is and anyone's argument is pretty much going to boil down to pointing out that reality.

 

[LAPsyGuy]

.

 

[LAPsyGuy]

I think you're being a bit of drama queen.

I think what we are saying is that we value helping others and that there are different ways to do this-Straightforward vs more longwinded and soft. The proverbial "compliment sandwhich," right? Well, not everbody has the latter personality, nor should they be expected to. Professionalism should not be equated to the latter description either.

I have never been cited for being "unprofessional" in my duties as a psychologist, (both attending and in consult roles),supervisor, or administrator. Never. Why do you think this is?

And what's wrong with WC fields?

Perfect! Thank you.

I appreciate you substantiating my observation. So now we're in to name calling. Circling the drain.

I don't feel like I qualify for drama queen status because I haven't been hurt by anything you've said. Quite the opposite, I'm fascinated.

So straightforward = rude and invalidating, and kind = longwinded and soft? What a concrete and binary world you must live in. By unprofessional I mean being invalidating and harsh. You equated psychologists to surgeons, and perhaps that's where you went wrong. How many of your clients are asleep while you work on them? Do psychologists need the same toughening process as surgeons? Are their work and our work analogous? No, not really. Are you advocating kindness for patients and harshness for students and coworkers? If so, does this dichotomy really make sense? No, it really doesn't.

I guess you haven't been called unprofessional because you either work with people who find this acceptable or because you don't behave this poorly where you work. Those are my two guesses. Do you call your students and coworkers drama queens?

Again, this is not about the content of your messages but about the process.

 

[LAPsyGuy]

"Son" strikes me as more condescending than invalidating, at least from my understanding of invalidation.

So condescension is not invalidating? I don't think that's right.

 

[LAPsyGuy]

This was a common colloquial expression when/where I grew up.

Not everybody grew up where you did, but my guess is that it's probably condescending there too.

 

[WisNeuro]

Oh we were into name calling much earlier than this. From both sides, you included. Be careful riding that high horse, it's a long fall.

 

[LAPsyGuy]

dude, if you want people to be more kind and less invalidating... should you be mean and invalidate others' points?

Invalidating points is fine. Points are not people. Again, it's about process and not content.

 

[LAPsyGuy]

Oh we were into name calling much earlier than this. From both sides, you included. Be careful riding that high horse, it's a long fall.

Let me know the name calling I did, and I'll be happy to apologize. Seems like we're all on horses here.

 

[LAPsyGuy]

Still in school but I agree with everyone on here, both sides. I think it comes with the territory, and it's just one more paradox of having a hyper-competitive professional culture surrounding the delivery of a humane and empathetic product. It is what it is and anyone's argument is pretty much going to boil down to pointing out that reality.

Agreed, but it seems like it's also about HOW we point out that reality. That's my point.

 

[WisNeuro]

I will refer you back to Blue Duck's post, where he outlined this. Probably the most egregious was insinuating that those posters had personality disorders? Both disingenuous and not very empathic to those who are actually suffering from PD's. Kind of condescending, if you ask me.

You actually started this whole thing out with name-calling.

 

[LAPsyGuy]

It's surreal to me that people are actually arguing for being invalidating and harsh. So odd.

 

[cara susanna]

So condescension is not invalidating? I don't think that's right.

I go by the Linehan definition of invalidating, which refers to denying someone that their experience is real. If someone said "No, you're wrong to feel like people are mistreating you on this thread," I would consider that invalidating.

 

[LAPsyGuy]

I will refer you back to Blue Duck's post, where he outlined this. Probably the most egregious was insinuating that those posters had personality disorders? Both disingenuous and not very empathic to those who are actually suffering from PD's. Kind of condescending, if you ask me.

You actually started this whole thing out with name-calling.

I really need a quote. That does not ring a bell. I'm happy to own up to it, if I did it.

 

[LAPsyGuy]

I go by the Linehan definition of invalidating, which refers to denying someone that their experience is real. If someone said "No, you're wrong to feel like people are mistreating you on this thread," I would consider that invalidating.

I would argue that condescension fits her definition. I know that others who train at BTech include it in their definitions. It's like saying "you're such a naive child, what could you possibly know."

 

[WisNeuro]

"but some of the personality impaired posters seem to be ignoring" Which could be construed different ways, but here in the biz, it is generally viewed as PD. Along with comments of bullying, abusive, etc. It's all about perception, as you said, and many could say that you are just as condescending and abusive as the posters you are critiquing. At least they are doing it in service of saving someone from throwing away 200k and a lifelong career battle for those who don't know any better.

 

[erg923]

Perfect! Thank you.

I appreciate you substantiating my observation. So now we're in to name calling. Circling the drain.

Im sorry. I'll rephrase. You are behaving in a manner similar to a female monach who is angry because they are getting their way. Yes, I use this on my daughter all the time.

In all seriousness, relax. I do believe you asserted that many of us on here were "personality disordered." So, I see little reason why you need to get upset about having someone call you out for being a bit histronic about the whole thing. Tony Soprano would say im just "breakin ya balls a lil." Capice?

 

[cara susanna]

I would argue that condescension fits her definition. I know that others who train at BTech include it in their definitions. It's like saying "you're such a naive child, what could you possibly know."

Okay, I can see that. Fair enough.

 

[VeryHopeful2010]

What shocks me most is that some of the more aggressive posters seem to be on this forum all day. How do you find time? You claim to be professionals but you seem to be spending a lot of work time on these forums. How would the VA respond to that? I doubt that they would consider this an approved use of government funds.

I have to say, I agree with the OP but also know what to expect from this (and other) forums. There is a line between professional feedback/opinions and just being an a-hole all the time. The responders claim that students have difficulty "hearing" difficult FSPS information; well, you aggressive posters are having trouble hearing feedback about the tone of your posts.

Everyone, grow up.

 

[WisNeuro]

I actually have time built into my job description for student supervision/mentoring stuff. So I count that here Also, both my evals canceled today. So, lots of free time. Honestly, as long as you get your productivity numbers in, it's fair game for time. Seeing as that I'm at about 120% productivity, the VA is all good with what I'm doing.

 

[smalltownpsych]

I'm often amazed at how some of the more aggressive posters claim they are providing feedback in a nonpersonalizing manner while being degrading and insulting. I can only imagine how they function in the therapy room or with students. Frightening to say the least. Functionally, it's an advanced level of bullying. Your egos may not be hoisted up by your titles, but, perhaps they are by your abusive behavior. I guess being awful is ok as long as facts are on your side. Yes, being trained in evidence based Tx is key, but some of the personality impaired posters seem to be ignoring (or are incapable of using) the common factors shown to be so effective in helping to heal our clients/patients.

My request is that we attend to being not only right, but also compassionate. Due try to set a good example for all the overwhelmed students seeking information, support, and wisdom from those farther along on the path.

If you can't handle the disagreements on this forum, how are you going to deal with the real world of being a psychologist? We are not providing therapy here, this is for educational information and ideas to be exchanged. Even when I do provide therapy, I am not always nice because it is my job to comment on what I see and sometimes that is not nice.

Furthermore, to call anything on this forum bullying or abusive is discounting to all of those who have experienced real bullying and abuse. Many of those people are my patients and I would appreciate if you did not trivialize their experience. I agree that most of the posters here have strong negative feelings about large-cohort low-match rate professional schools and don't feel that people should attend them. Attacking the institutions is not the same as attacking the individuals who attended, but I see how those individuals would feel that way.

Finally, you criticize so-called personal attacks while using phrases that sound like personal attacks to me such as "aggressive posters", "egos hoisted up by titles", and "personality impaired". I find that pretty ironic.

 

[LAPsyGuy]

Im sorry. I'll rephrase. You are behaving in a manner similar to a female monach who is angry because they are getting their way. Yes, I use this on my daughter all the time.

In all seriousness, relax. I do believe you asserted that many of us on here were "personality disordered." So, I see little reason why you need to get upset about having someone call you out for being a bit histronic about the whole thing. Tony Soprano would say im just "breakin ya balls a lil." Capice?

I've been looking for the quote myself, and can't find it. Please feel free to offer a quote.

I'm actually quite relaxed, and I'm enjoying the exchanges. Though I'm sure telling somebody to relax usually works like a charm. Hilarious. I'm not upset, I'm simply pointing out the process going on, and why several people have made similar observations to you and others. Observations that were ignored or made fun of, much like you're trying to do in this here response. I'm histrionic instead of having a valid concern, right? Invalidating my opinion allows you to simply ignore what I'm saying. I'm histrionic when I play around with you, and you're a good fella when you do the same. That sounds like fun.

 

[smalltownpsych]

 

[LAPsyGuy]

If you can't handle the disagreements on this forum, how are you going to deal with the real world of being a psychologist? We are not providing therapy here, this is for educational information and ideas to be exchanged. Even when I do provide therapy, I am not always nice because it is my job to comment on what I see and sometimes that is not nice.

Furthermore, to call anything on this forum bullying or abusive is discounting to all of those who have experienced real bullying and abuse. Many of those people are my patients and I would appreciate if you did not trivialize their experience. I agree that most of the posters here have strong negative feelings about large-cohort low-match rate professional schools and don't feel that people should attend them. Attacking the institutions is not the same as attacking the individuals who attended, but I see how those individuals would feel that way.

Finally, you criticize so-called personal attacks while using phrases that sound like personal attacks to me such as "aggressive posters", "egos hoisted up by titles", and "personality impaired". I find that pretty ironic.

Who said I can't handle them? I'm making some observations about the style of discourse here. Just because bullying looks like severe abuse doesn't mean it's also not going on here. Your argument is fallacious.

Again, it's not about the content (issues with FSPP), but about the process style.

I apologize for my transgressions, but the points stand.

 

[WisNeuro]

The quote has been quoted at least 3 times thus far.