Accepted and Still Feeling Inadequate/Worthless??

[ubertrooper60]

So I am a current college senior and have been fortunately accepted at two medical schools and have several interviews at other great programs.

It's a good position to be in, but I still somehow feel incredibly inadequate and average.

Right now, I attend a fairly prestigious undergraduate institution, which means some of my peers are incredible and are doing incredible things. I know many who have done amazing research all through college, have traveled the world, studied abroad, are in happy relationships, received numerous fellowships (Rhodes, Marshall, Fulbright, etc), doing post-grad research, MD-PHD programs, the list goes on and on..

Some are attending medical school, others in other fields. Regardless, these peers will be outstanding physicians, researchers, and world leaders.

For myself, I have had a good college experience. I've traveled and done a bit of research. But it simply seems to pale in comparison to so many people I know, and I can't shake feelings of inadequacy. Here I am, accepted to medical school, and I am feeling worthless.

Much of it stems from the complex that so many pre-meds have, namely that they must be perfect and the best in everything. I have been told time and time again to shake it off and just worry about myself. You can't compare your sadness to another's highlight reel after all...

Does anyone else feel the same way? I feel like I've wasted my undergraduate years in comparison to what my peers have done. Any advice for shaking this feeling and pursuing my future/medical career happily?

Finally, I feel bad for feeling this way because I know that I am incredibly lucky and fortunate. Compared to so much in the world, I have very little to feel bad about. But I still can't shake the feeling and just wanted to know if anyone else felt similarly.

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[thebigdawg]

Oh boo hoo your life is so hard

 

[thebigdawg]

Sorry I'm crabby, too much Blops3

 

[takeurmeds02]

Omg, get over yourself and stop worrying about other people

 

[Turkishking]

Quit whining

 

[thatwouldbeanarchy]

The best advice I can give you is what you basically said yourself: Stop measuring your success/self-worth against what other people have accomplished!

You've been accepted to (not one, but two!) medical schools. Rejoice in your accomplishments! And also recognize that your worth as a person is based on MUCH more important things than how many prestigious research grants you receive. You're going to need to find other ways to be fulfilled and happy. Yes, medicine is an amazing career for those who are passionate about it. It's also stressful and competitive. In my opinion, no career is going to be the be all and end all of your life. No career is going to give you a reason to live. You gotta find out what actually makes YOU happy. There's more to life than being a ****ing Rhodes Scholar!!

 

[ProspectiveKidd]

Oh boo hoo your life is so hard

Just because someone has been successful means they can't feel confused or distraught over their future? Some of the most wildly successful people are not happy. Ive pissed most of my youth away doing nothing and now I am back in school with high achieving and brilliant people who have done nothing but prepare to be doctors their whole lives. Talk about feelings of inadequacy. There are many potential reasons for this in different people, but for me, much of it has gone away as I've matured. There will always be someone that does more, or does it better. Thats life. Be happy that you have achieved what most people don't have the drive to do.

If you place happiness on the other side of success your brain never gets there. There will always be another achievement or milestone. Just be content with what you have while always striving to improve.

 

[Lucca]

Stop defining your peers by their achievements and maybe you will be able to do so for yourself.

 

[DaenerysTargaryen]

OP, I'm sorry you are feeling like this. It is VERY common among pre-meds in general, and especially at schools like yours. Have you been to your school's counseling center and/or explored other avenues of support through advisors, etc.? I think you'd find you get a lot out of talking to someone about these feelings. Finally, congrats on your acceptances thus far! Remember that this is no small feat!

 

[thebigdawg]

Keep your useless comments to yourself. Just because someone has been successful means they can't feel confused or distraught over their future? Some of the most wildly successful people are not happy. Ive pissed most of my youth away doing nothing and now I am back in school with high achieving and brilliant people who have done nothing but prepare to be doctors their whole lives. Talk about feelings of inadequacy. There are many potential reasons for this in different people, but for me, much of it has gone away as I've matured. There will always be someone that does more, or does it better. Thats life. Be happy that you have achieved what most people don't have the drive to do.

Forgive me for not sympathizing with an accepted student--how tragic their life is . If you're feeling inadequate now, you should prepare to get rekt in med school when you're ONLY surrounded by top tier achievers. Time to get over it. The whole field is driven by people who are better than you. Deal with it.

 

[thebigdawg]

OP, I forgive you and I'm now pissed off at this other guy. OP, your OK in my book. Congrats on your acceptance, just chill dawg--YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH.

 

[after_the_flood]

I know many who have done amazing research all through college
A huge part about doing "amazing research" is getting lucky and finding a good mentor. I know excellent students who got unlucky and ended up with bad projects that went nowhere.

have traveled the world
This isn't exactly a personal, meritorious achievement so much as they're lucky to have the free time to travel (rather than work to support themselves, and have rich parents.

studied abroad
Again, see above. Also you traveled didn't you? I don't see what the issue is here.

in happy relationships
Lol. All that you see is what they choose to show the world. Social media is an illusion. I know couples who looked absolutely perfect on social media and were constantly fighting, bickering, and grew to hate each other. Get off social media.

I could keep going but I'll sound like a broken record. Keep in mind that everyone is on equal footing once you start medical school. So if you're really concerned about posturing, step your game up and become class president and get 10 first author publications in NEJM before you match.

 

[NonTrad16]

First, congrats. Second, you already know what you are doing doesn't make sense, and is a common feeling... So I don't know what you expect to get here except more people saying "it happens".

Wherever you go there will be someone smarter, more attractive, charasmatic, successful, etc. Some may have awesome seeming combos. But they aren't you, their life isn't yours, and their happiness or success has no bearing on your own. You should focus on doing what makes you proud and satisfied, and less on what other people have managed. If your sense of worth comes from someone else, such as praises of "you're awesome, great job, etc" then be prepared for disappointment. In a wonderful world we might take time to appreciate each others accomplishments more, I've certainly found graduate school and jobs a lot less supportive. Med training will probably exaggerate feelings of worthlessness... So... in the end, it's just something you need to learn to deal with by changing the goalpost for "success", and using yourself (rather than others) as the standard.

It'll be fine.

As for all the hate: it's comedic. I've sunk a lot into this cycle and still don't even have an II. I would do a LOT to secure one, even more to get an acceptance. That said, me venting at some other random person isn't the least bit helpful. Except as a possible example for the range of personalities one finds in life. Future hopeful colleagues. Should be a hoot.

 

[YellowTurtle]

This is very common. Especially during med school. Mental health is so very important. Don't feel embarrassed to go talk to a counselor or some other professional that can help you find ways of dealing with it. In my my med school sessions with a counselor are always free for this and many other reasons. Med school can mess with your psyche in so many ways. So it's important to recognize that you are feeling this way and seek people that can help you talk through it. Ignoring it or trying to put on a face to look "stronger" so nobody thinks you are weak is so very common. But going down that path can just lead to further feelings of inadequacy/worthlessness/depression when you realize you can't be/do everything.

It's totally Ok to feel like this sometimes. Just try to remember that your own mental sanity is worth so much.

Everybody takes a different path and that's Ok as long as you just keep moving towards where you want to be.

You are worth it. You are smart. You are competent. A whole committee of people evaluated you and agreed that you are worth it (TWICE).

 

[Krupke]

I know how you feel. I went to a prestigious school and I dont have a single pre-med friend who isnt now going to a top med school.

It's hard not to compare yourself, but I just take comfort in knowing that I dont need what they have to be happy. In a way, Im even happy that I wont be going to a top med school because I dont want to be in the kind of environment where I would be made to feel inadequate.

And I know my successful friends going to top schools had a lot of mental issues/suicidal behavior from the pressure they put on themselves. Successful doesnt mean happy. All you can hope for is to find what gives you joy and ignore what other people are up to.

 

[Glazedonutlove]

For me getting into medical school was easily one of the best days of my life. It seems you were expecting that but it wasn't so. You should figure out why

 

[ProspectiveKidd]

OP, I forgive you and I'm now pissed off at this other guy. OP, your OK in my book. Congrats on your acceptance, just chill dawg--YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH.

I could have definitely left out the first bit. Didn't mean to come off as condescending but I just hits home for me because I felt the same way when I was younger.

 

[terra330]

Imposter syndrome - a lot of us feel it. I'm still in disbelief (but thrilled!) about the acceptance I got myself.

But honestly, you deserve it. You worked hard, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

 

[YellowTurtle]

Imposter syndrome - a lot of us feel it. I'm still in disbelief (but thrilled!) about the acceptance I got myself.

But honestly, you deserve it. You worked hard, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

YES. Imposter syndrome!

Many many many of me and my fellow classmates have talked about this. If nobody talks about it you tend to suffer in silence. Once it's out in the open and you realize that so many other people feel the same way, it's easier to deal with.

 

[thrudheim]

Don't compare what you perceive about your friends' accomplishments to your own. For all you know, your friends might be feeling the exact same way. "The grass is greener" only until you step on the other side and realize it's because it's been fertilized with cow ****.

But I digress.

This isn't an uncommon feeling at all. Social media facades play into it a lot. Do what makes you happy, and don't worry about anyone else.

 

[BurghMed]

"You don't get rich in this business, you only attain new levels of relative poverty"

 

[Pagan FutureDoc]

Don't judge yourself based on others...be the best ubertrooper you can be.
You've been accepted into multiple MD programs, that's amazing. It's something most people can't do. Now just focus on finishing college strong and then becoming the best doctor you can be.

 

[Krupke]

For me getting into medical school was easily one of the best days of my life. It seems you were expecting that but it wasn't so. You should figure out why

The OP didnt say he wasnt happy about getting into med school. He just said that he still feels inadequate.

 

[musicalfeet]

There will always be something other people have that you don't...and vice versa. And there will always, ALWAYS be someone better than you. The sooner you accept it and make peace with it, the happier you will be.

Also, just because someone is better/more successful than you also doesn't mean they're happier anyway. (Maybe this is a product of just being old now. I was like this when I was 20-21...and now at 25 I realize I'm giving less and less of a sh** how my colleagues and peers are doing/what they think of me)

Funny quote I read somewhere that went something along these lines:
At 20, you care what other people think
At 40, you stop caring what other people think
At 60, you realize no one was thinking about you at all

 

[Amba]

Imposter syndrome - a lot of us feel it. I'm still in disbelief (but thrilled!) about the acceptance I got myself.

But honestly, you deserve it. You worked hard, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

No, imposter syndrome not the term - imposter syndrome is more applicable once you are already in medical school and feel like you cannot keep up/should not have been accepted in the first place. It's a humbling experience. OP is simply envious/ungrateful.

 

[Gandyy]

There will always be something other people have that you don't...and vice versa. And there will always, ALWAYS be someone better than you. The sooner you accept it and make peace with it, the happier you will be.

Also, just because someone is better/more successful than you also doesn't mean they're happier anyway. (Maybe this is a product of just being old now. I was like this when I was 20-21...and now at 25 I realize I'm giving less and less of a sh** how my colleagues and peers are doing/what they think of me)

Funny quote I read somewhere that went something along these lines:
At 20, you care what other people think
At 40, you stop caring what other people think
At 60, you realize no one was thinking about you at all

Truth.

 

[Glazedonutlove]

The OP didnt say he wasnt happy about getting into med school. He just said that he still feels inadequate.

inadequate after getting in
I could be wrong of course, but if the goal is to become a doctor, being jealous about who got a fulbright or whatever doesn't make sense to me

 

[iDOliveinMD]

I'll happily take your acceptance so you don't waste your time with a basic MD and can go on creating the next fortune 500 company in your garage.

That way you will be more "successful" than all your friends/peers and I will be no longer be checking my email 47 times a day. Win, win.

 

[terra330]

No, imposter syndrome not the term - imposter syndrome is more applicable once you are already in medical school and feel like you cannot keep up/should not have been accepted in the first place. It's a humbling experience. OP is simply envious/ungrateful.

I got the sense that OP feels like he doesn't deserve what he got because he feels he didn't accomplish much. Maybe I'm misreading him.

 

[Goro]

It's called "imposter syndrome" Many very successful people feel exactly the same way you do.

The only person you should be comparing yourself to is yourself. There will always be better and less people than you.

Just do well in what you do and more importantly, enjoy doing it. That's what really counts.

So I am a current college senior and have been fortunately accepted at two medical schools and have several interviews at other great programs.

It's a good position to be in, but I still somehow feel incredibly inadequate and average.

Right now, I attend a fairly prestigious undergraduate institution, which means some of my peers are incredible and are doing incredible things. I know many who have done amazing research all through college, have traveled the world, studied abroad, are in happy relationships, received numerous fellowships (Rhodes, Marshall, Fulbright, etc), doing post-grad research, MD-PHD programs, the list goes on and on..

Some are attending medical school, others in other fields. Regardless, these peers will be outstanding physicians, researchers, and world leaders.

For myself, I have had a good college experience. I've traveled and done a bit of research. But it simply seems to pale in comparison to so many people I know, and I can't shake feelings of inadequacy. Here I am, accepted to medical school, and I am feeling worthless.

Much of it stems from the complex that so many pre-meds have, namely that they must be perfect and the best in everything. I have been told time and time again to shake it off and just worry about myself. You can't compare your sadness to another's highlight reel after all...

Does anyone else feel the same way? I feel like I've wasted my undergraduate years in comparison to what my peers have done. Any advice for shaking this feeling and pursuing my future/medical career happily?

Finally, I feel bad for feeling this way because I know that I am incredibly lucky and fortunate. Compared to so much in the world, I have very little to feel bad about. But I still can't shake the feeling and just wanted to know if anyone else felt similarly.

 

[Krupke]

inadequate after getting in
I could be wrong of course, but if the goal is to become a doctor, being jealous about who got a fulbright or whatever doesn't make sense to me

The fulbright and stuff are measures of success. I dont know where the OP went to school, but people from my undergrad do keep track of other people's successes and get caddy about it even if the person is in another field (literally, I know the rankings for so many non-med programs just from other people judging classmates based on where they end up). Many pre-meds from top schools dont make it to med school solely because they "save face" by going to a top-ranked non-med program rather than go to a lower-ranked med school.

Just speaking for myself, I'm so excited for med school and so grateful for the opportunity. I still feel like I dropped the ball since I had the same resources as my classmates, but they set themselves up to be leaders in their fields and I have not. Right now I am in a weird state of being incredibly happy, but still feeling like I did something wrong. It sounds like the OP is feeling the same thing.

 

[Glazedonutlove]

The fulbright and stuff are measures of success. I dont know where the OP went to school, but people from my undergrad do keep track of other people's successes and get caddy about it even if the person is in another field (literally, I know the rankings for so many non-med programs just from other people judging classmates based on where they end up). Many pre-meds from top schools dont make it to med school solely because they "save face" by going to a top-ranked non-med program rather than go to a lower-ranked med school.

Just speaking for myself, I'm so excited for med school and so grateful for the opportunity. I still feel like I dropped the ball since I had the same resources as my classmates, but they set themselves up to be leaders in their fields and I have not. Right now I am in a weird state of being incredibly happy, but still feeling like I did something wrong. It sounds like the OP is feeling the same thing.

lol that is sad and ridiculous
congrats on your acceptance~ hopefully you and op figure it out

 

[YCP Pre-Med]

It's very easy to get caught up in the accomplishments of other people. But remember that's taking time away from focusing on what you are passionate about and the things that you can do to further your own personal and professional goals. Do you think that people who are high achievers are constantly reactionary, anxiously considering what everyone else is doing?

There was quote from one of my favorite authors (C.S. Lewis) roughly explaining that focusing solely on the lives of other people will get you no where. While considering the achievements of others can be motivating, wouldn't it be better set a course for improving your resume and yourself?

Congratulations on your acceptances and I hope that you crush medical school!

 

[Krupke]

lol that is sad and ridiculous
congrats on your acceptance~ hopefully you and op figure it out

Yes, it is sad and it produces a toxic environment.

Congrats to you too! And I dont really have anything to figure out, I know where my feelings of inadequacy come from and I know how to deal with it (by recognizing its stupidity and realizing that I will still get to do what makes me happy). I was responding because your original comment made it sound like you were saying that there is something wrong with the OP not being 100% happy after getting into med school. When, in reality, the OP's feelings are normal and it is possible to be both grateful and happy about a med school acceptance and still feel inadequate.

It's nbd, we can just drop it

 

[ShadyLane]

No, imposter syndrome not the term - imposter syndrome is more applicable once you are already in medical school and feel like you cannot keep up/should not have been accepted in the first place. It's a humbling experience. OP is simply envious/ungrateful.

I don't think that's the kind of situation imposter syndrome refers to. It would be more like someone who is successful in med school but still feels like they don't truly deserve to be there, or that their acceptance was a fluke. I feel like this quite often (not the doing well in med school part, because I'm not in med school yet, but the part about not deserving success), and I think it stems from my own insecurities. OP, I'm not sure what to tell you except to try to recognize that each person has their own strengths and that other people's successes don't have any bearing on your own. Be proud of what you have achieved (this is half-directed toward myself too lol).

 

[lucin]

I measure my success by how many people love me. - Warren Buffett.

 

[Glazedonutlove]

Yes, it is sad and it produces a toxic environment.

Congrats to you too! And I dont really have anything to figure out, I know where my feelings of inadequacy come from and I know how to deal with it (by recognizing its stupidity and realizing that I will still get to do what makes me happy). I was responding because your original comment made it sound like you were saying that there is something wrong with the OP not being 100% happy after getting into med school. When, in reality, the OP's feelings are normal and it is possible to be both grateful and happy about a med school acceptance and still feel inadequate.

It's nbd, we can just drop it

maybe I am lucky that I didn't feel the same way then. Thanks for clarifying

 

[summergirl]

oh shut up

 

[tl3tc]

Imposter syndrome (which isn't yet a DSM-5 classified disorder, by the way) doesn't just happen to people who are already in medical school or have managed some amazing achievement; it can happen to anyone, anywhere -- though, yes, it is found more often in high-achievers. Those affected may feel as if they don't deserve their accomplishments, like they got lucky or somehow "tricked" everyone else into thinking they're worthy of an award. This could be Employee of the Month, athletic honors, academic awards, or even getting into college (which I imagine all of us have done). Unfortunately, experiencing imposter syndrome does require an achievement (you can't feel you don't deserve something you haven't accomplished), so people look down on it and the people who feel it for this reason. They don't understand why people with a degree of achievement could doubt themselves or not own up to their successes.

There's a reason I majored in psychology, by choice. The human mind is fascinating and fragile, and it does no good to make people who already feel bad feel worse. We are all entitled to our own feelings, whatever they may be.

 

[MasterStroke]

What's wrong with feeling average? It's OK to be average. The average person is successful, well traveled, has money, is in a happy fulfilling relationship with a good social network of friends. The average person has many admirers and people who think highly of them. The average person is happy. Yet, there are many colleagues of mine who try so hard to be extraordinary yet nobody else cares. People hardly notice they even exist. It's a false sense of validation.

 

[Gandyy]

What's wrong with feeling average? It's OK to be average. The average person is successful, well traveled, has money, is in a happy fulfilling relationship with a good social network of friends. The average person has many admirers and people who think highly of them. The average person is happy. Yet, there are many colleagues of mine who try so hard to be extraordinary yet nobody else cares. People hardly notice they even exist. It's a false sense of validation.

Optimistic and true??? Does such a thing exist?

 

[Flashfan]

In my crappier moments, I wonder why I haven't been accepted to more than one place. I thought that I would have more than a few interviews, and I didn't get my first choice school post interview. My solution is to read MDApps and be so very thankful that I only have to go through this crap once. You are in medical school-you have met that goal.
This is no time to compare yourself to others. You have met your goal. Period.

 

[Theafoni]

Humblebrag 0/10

 

[Amba]

It would be more like someone who is successful in med school but still feels like they don't truly deserve to be there, or that their acceptance was a fluke.

That is essentially identical to what I just wrote.

 

[El-Rami]

I can understand your feeling. No matter what you do, someone will want to downplay your achievements. I've done some pretty cool things during undergrad myself, but people always made sure to tell me "Well, it's not as prestigious as ____" or "Getting into that program was easier this year," etc. Feel proud for everything you do, and disregard what other people have accomplished. You've gotten into medical school. Hit the books hard, prepare for your Step exams strongly when the time comes, and maintain as much of a social life as possible. You have the power now to do anything you want in medicine as long as you believe in yourself and put in the work. Think of it like that and be excited.

 

[ShadyLane]

That is essentially identical to what I just wrote.

You had written that an example of imposter syndrome is when "you are already in medical school and feel like you cannot keep up," which I don't agree with. That would be a perfectly normal situation - someone who isn't doing well in school feels inadequate. If that isn't what you meant, then forgive me. I think imposter syndrome is different in that there isn't necessarily anything wrong from an outsider's point of view, but the person may still feel like they don't deserve whatever success they're experiencing. And for the record, I don't think it's about OP being ungrateful; it sounds more like he/she has some insecurities regarding success.

 

[ubertrooper60]

Thanks for all the comments, everyone. Both good and bad. I don't really know what I was hoping to get out of this post other than just seeing if anyone else felt similarly. Validation, if you will. But I suppose that's essentially the root of the problem to begin with...

Krupke, I think you said it pretty well. It sounds like you and are feeling pretty similar.

I am ecstatic to be accepted and I feel incredibly lucky and fortunate to be in that position. I'm going to get to do what I've always wanted to, and that is a pretty great gift in life. Which is why my feelings of inadequacy seem so stupid, but I just can't seem to shake them. Comparing myself to people who have done incredible things is certainly a way to unhappiness, but it's tough to avoid.

At the end of the day, it does stem from insecurities about my own success, not ungratefulness. I just see others taking advantage of so many incredible things in whatever their field might be, and I just wish I had done the same, because I know I could have. It's more being upset with myself than anything else, I suppose, but it's grounded in comparing myself to others.

I've always been told to simply quit whining, get over it, stop comparing yourself, be happy, etc. But do you all have any ways that have worked for you to do that?

 

[Glazedonutlove]

what exactly do you regret missing out on

 

[solitarius]

Public Service Announcement

There are a LOT of people like OP in medical school. Yes, they can be very tiresome to deal with at times. But they're people and the process is hard. If OP drives you nuts, perhaps stay away from med school?

 

[SOMBound13]

It's a good position to be in, but I still somehow feel incredibly inadequate and average.

What you're feeling, I think, is kind of normal. I think I would describe it as, "omg, what if I've fooled everyone and I'm not as smart as they think? What if I fail?"

Some of this may just be part of the whole overwhelming application process.

You got those acceptances because you deserved them. Congrats.