Advice for neurotic premeds?

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DrDre2017

DrDre2017

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So, I'm one of those pre-meds who is always doing some type of work. No TV. No leisure (unless you count SDN as leisure), except for the odd funny Youtube video. No reading for pleasure. Not even listening to music, really. At the moment, I'm about to have a breakdown because I have two more weeks of summer with nothing to do. I have trouble relaxing, I guess, because I'm always thinking about how much I have to do to be a competitive pre-med applicant. And even though my perfectionism and compulsion to work serve me well as a student, I'm starting to find it a little disturbing.

I really like being premed, because it keeps me busy, and I'm surrounded by people like me. But I want to learn to be an actual person too, to have hobbies, and the capacity to be creative, and a personality, basically. I know this is funny and / or pathetic, because being a "neurotic premed" is kind of a joke. But I already feel stupid for having had to Google this, and then make a post about it, so I'd appreciate some honest advice. Thank you.
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Just chill and do things that you like to do in your spare time. Actually read for pleasure. Volunteering and research in your spare time is fun and all but you don't wanna be a bland candidate during interviews do you? I myself am a cinephile so when not focusing on pre med I'm winding down and watching a good movie and then participating in intellectual conversations about said film.
 
find a hobby. Preferably somethings outdoors and active. You need to find something that you enjoy. For me that was rock climbing and archery.
 
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From one neurotic premed to another, I'm going to ask that you forgive my language and take the advice my older cousin handed me to me:
"Calm your tits or I'll hand you a (better fitting) bra."
 
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DrDre2017 said:
But I want to learn to be an actual person too, to have hobbies, and the capacity to be creative, and a personality, basically. I know this is funny and / or pathetic, because being a "neurotic premed" is kind of a joke. But I already feel stupid for having had to Google this, and then make a post about it, so I'd appreciate some honest advice. Thank you.
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If you are asking how to overcome the urge to only keep yourself busy with pre-med related things, then just take these next two weeks to do nothing application related.
If you are wondering how to balance your pre-med ECs with personal development and social time, then here's a few suggestions:

1) Join a club you normally wouldn't. Hangout with those people and see how things go.
2) Go talk to your professors about something not related to coursework, if they are open to. They are people with hobbies too. It's good to get a perspective different from your peers'.
3) Get a hobby. Read for an hour before you sleep. Try some creative outlet: graphic design, pencil doodles, crafting, etc.
4) Volunteer somewhere you can apply these skills. Obviously don't force yourself because you feel like it would strengthen your app; do it because you actually want to.
 
I don't know how far you are into undergrad, but there is no way you can make it four years like this. You need to have a work hard play hard mentality about going through premed, and the rest of your medical education/career/etc as well. As someone who wants to become a doctor, you should realize that putting this kind of constant stress on yourself is unsustainable and unhealthy. Get your **** done academically, seek out EC's that will not only make you a competitive applicant but you will actually enjoy doing, and most importantly take breaks. Yeah, sometimes you might have to go all day studying, staying on top of assignments, etc, but there is no way you should be having to do that every day - especially in the summer. You should spend these last two weeks not doing anything related to this. Don't get on SDN. Spend time with family/friends. Take a deep breath and relax.
 
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Also, why don't you take some Fridays to just have a few drinks with friends, if you're 21+ and like to do these things.
It has certainly helped me cope with stress :rolleyes:.
 
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I'm so glad that I didn't find SDN until this application season because I couldn't have imagined four years of obsessing over it...like I'm already being obsessive enough with checking this site during the interview cycle haha!

For me, I found a great outlet during college in terms of physical fitness. Not only was I able to get stress relief and be healthy, it helped me create friend groups I otherwise would not have had!

Also, maybe it's because I go to church every week that I have that time to just reflect and find my inner peace, but I recommend going to your house of worship every so often if thats what you're in to, or just finding a select hour or so to sit and meditate and not think about anything. Does wonders for your mental health and realizing that our everyday troubles are relatively unimportant.
 
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Woah. First of all get yourself some none premed friends you'll have the rest of your life to be surrounded by various medical personnel. Also there's a giant thread on this very forum of book suggestions from your fellow neurotic premeds, check it out. If you're not a sit down activities kind of person I suggest getting a hobby like photography, hiking, model building, painting, etc. Also explore your city. Go to museums, parks, restaurants (this often requires a minimum companionship of 1 so if you don't have friends I'm sorry) . Make yelp your best friend. I dunno, I've never met someone who didn't know how to have fun. You're missing out and you might just regret it later when you're too busy being a doctor.
 
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Thanks for the ideas everyone! I have tried to pick things up: Watching movies, television shows, piano, reading, doing Rubik's cubes, crossword puzzles, exercise, Pinterest, comics, journaling, etc. But I either get bored with what I'm doing because I don't see the point, or anxious because I'm wasting time, so I don't really enjoy it, so I give up. Maybe I just need to stick with something until I start to enjoy it?

@phuynh94 Interesting words of wisdom / threat (?), lol
 
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Athletic activities are a great way to relax and a fun way to exercise.

Also, it seems like you might have a personality similar to mine where I feel like I am wasting my time if I am not working towards self-improvement. However, I have found basketball enjoyable as I can always improve and I am also improving my health, hopefully you can find a similar activity.
 
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DrDre2017 said:
So, I'm one of those pre-meds who is always doing some type of work. No TV. No leisure (unless you count SDN as leisure), except for the odd funny Youtube video. No reading for pleasure. Not even listening to music, really. At the moment, I'm about to have a breakdown because I have two more weeks of summer with nothing to do. I have trouble relaxing, I guess, because I'm always thinking about how much I have to do to be a competitive pre-med applicant. And even though my perfectionism and compulsion to work serve me well as a student, I'm starting to find it a little disturbing.

I really like being premed, because it keeps me busy, and I'm surrounded by people like me. But I want to learn to be an actual person too, to have hobbies, and the capacity to be creative, and a personality, basically. I know this is funny and / or pathetic, because being a "neurotic premed" is kind of a joke. But I already feel stupid for having had to Google this, and then make a post about it, so I'd appreciate some honest advice. Thank you.
Click to expand...
You need to go out this weekend, make bad choices, and get laid bro. You can only be in college once.
 
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@Neuroplasticity Sports and I are incompatible. I know this for sure. But I do like going to the gym, although when it comes down to studying vs. exercising, I am ashamed to say that my health is not my first priority.

md-2020 said:
You need to go out this weekend, make bad choices, and get laid bro. You can only be in college once.
Click to expand...

Under 21, don't have a car, never been "out" so I wouldn't know where to go, plus I live in the suburbs... And I'm a girl :laugh:
 
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DrDre2017 said:
So, I'm one of those pre-meds who is always doing some type of work. No TV. No leisure (unless you count SDN as leisure), except for the odd funny Youtube video. No reading for pleasure. Not even listening to music, really. At the moment, I'm about to have a breakdown because I have two more weeks of summer with nothing to do. I have trouble relaxing, I guess, because I'm always thinking about how much I have to do to be a competitive pre-med applicant. And even though my perfectionism and compulsion to work serve me well as a student, I'm starting to find it a little disturbing.

I really like being premed, because it keeps me busy, and I'm surrounded by people like me. But I want to learn to be an actual person too, to have hobbies, and the capacity to be creative, and a personality, basically. I know this is funny and / or pathetic, because being a "neurotic premed" is kind of a joke. But I already feel stupid for having had to Google this, and then make a post about it, so I'd appreciate some honest advice. Thank you.
Click to expand...

Perfectionism keeps you productive, but let me tell you that it's dangerous in terms of your mental health. Like what Carmiche said - you can't go on like this. There is a high chance that you will be burned out and I wouldn't be surprised if depression and anxiety starts to take place. I was probably like you to a small degree and it wrecked me tbh - especially when I was no longer "perfect" in some areas. Start to enjoy the free time that you have and overall be able to relax. There's so much more to life than both pre med and medicine. Balance and perspective are key ideas here. If you really want to be a doctor, then chances are that it will happen as long as you keep working hard, but don't forget to enjoy life while you're working to this goal. And keep in mind that perhaps setting "getting into medical school" or "finally becoming a doctor" as goals will not necessarily make you happy because you will just be waiting for that moment to come and forget everything that's happening in the moment. So don't forget to live in the life you have now. Because that's what's relevant.
 
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Just find something you love to do. If it isn't sports or books or whatever, keep looking. You'll find something you love and it will help you relax. You want to be a well-rounded person, for medicine and for life. Do you have friends to hang out with? If not, make some.
 
If your a girl then it sounds like you need a BBC in your life...
 
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He who tries to find happiness in perfectionism will achieve neither.
 
Worries about productivity... goes on sdn. :eek:

Pre-write your personal statement.

Study ahead for next semester so you'll have more time to practice mcat practice tests.

Read up on/catch up on medical ethics and health care policy.

Look for a flexible job to continue throughout the semester.

Learn new professional skills.
 
Nothing against you personally, but I hope that if I get into medical school, a majority of my classmates are not like you and will know how to have fun. Come on OP, this process does not have to consume your life. If it does (and it is), you are doing it wrong. You don't listen to music? You don't watch netflix? You don't play video games (I presume)? Seriously... If you are really insistent on not "wasting time," then pick up a musical instrument. I'll be over here getting drunk every weekend, playing video games, and watching office reruns. ;)
 
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@Mamba824 @ElCapone Lol, I will take all of these suggestions into consideration
@Holmwood Thanks for the suggestions; I have done or am doing all of them, but of course, that's not getting me closer to my goal of being normal, lol

Hospitalized said:
Nothing against you personally, but I hope that if I get into medical school, a majority of my classmates are not like you and will know how to have fun. Come on OP, this process does not have to consume your life. If it does (and it is), you are doing it wrong. You don't listen to music? You don't watch netflix? You don't play video games (I presume)? Seriously... If you are really insistent on not "wasting time," then pick up a musical instrument. I'll be over here getting drunk every weekend, playing video games, and watching office reruns. ;)
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I hope that most people aren't like me too, and I'm sure most aren't. :hilarious:
 
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Have you been this stressed your whole entire life?

If not, then just do some of the things you enjoyed when you were younger like in high school.
 
I recommend switching your mind set. INVEST your time. You can invest your time in self care (sounds like you need to). It isn't wasting if it is making you a better person. Invest your time in relationships, hobbies and generally anything that makes you less of a neurotic person.
I used to be like you. However, I broke from the constant maintenance of the image of perfection. All it takes is a switch in mindset.
 
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There's nothing wrong with being focused on being goal oriented and working hard. Squeezing an odd youtube video every now and then shows you haven't totally given up your humanity.

It's a matter of personality and personal interests. Some people (perhaps you) are born workaholics.

Do what makes you feel happy, even if some people feel it is neurotic.
 
May I suggest looking on Groupon for random fun stuff available in your area? When I get stressed I usually go shooting or take a day hike at a local park.
 
gonnif said:
Its interesting that a one of my students had terrible trouble answering a question on a secondary that said "what was the most fun you had last year?"
Click to expand...

what a great secondary question
 
Do yourself a favour, invite some friends over this weekend, pick up a case of Somersby, some burgers and hot dogs, play some music, sit around a fire pit AND DON'T TALK ABOUT MED SCHOOL. Talk about boys or girls or whatever you fancy, talk about motorbikes or makeup kits, talk about two ply or three ply JUST NOT MED SCHOOL. Simply because you can breathe doesn't mean you're alive.
 
If you're not exercising on average at least 30 minutes a day, I'd be a little worried for your physical health.
 
rawr4 said:
So I received my "application complete" email, and literally seconds later I got an email saying that my "application has not been selected for further
consideration."

Does this seem strange to anyone else? I know rejections start pouring in once you submit secondaries, but it seems strange that my application would be marked complete and rejected in the same minute... Oh well, so much for Stanford, I guess...
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gonnif said:
It might have been if it wasnt for the above non trad student, finalizing a divorce in the middle of house foreclosure while looking for work other than a part time lab job, and studying for the MCAT .

"Besides all that Mrs. Lincoln, what did you think of the parade?"
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Play*.

Or Kennedy*, I guess.
 
Holmwood said:
There's nothing wrong with being focused on being goal oriented and working hard. Squeezing an odd youtube video every now and then shows you haven't totally given up your humanity.

It's a matter of personality and personal interests. Some people (perhaps you) are born workaholics.

Do what makes you feel happy, even if some people feel it is neurotic.
Click to expand...

I don't even know whether I'm unhappy with being a workaholic because the work stresses me out, or because I want to aspire to be the perfect, well-rounded person and am not meeting that standard. Maybe both?

I think I'm just overthinking this now...
 
DrDre2017 said:
I don't even know whether I'm unhappy with being a workaholic because the work stresses me out, or because I want to aspire to be the perfect, well-rounded person and am not meeting that standard. Maybe both?

I think I'm just overthinking this now...
Click to expand...
In my experience/from what I have learned on SDN, there are only a few things you need to get into med school (Over-simplified a bit, obviously)
1. Get good grades - takes a good chunk of time but should not be your whole life
2. Study for the MCAT for 3-4 months (this will temporarily take over your life)
3. Shadowing/clinical volunteering (100-200 hours is what you need, which is really manageable over 4 years)
4. Research if you can
5. Be interesting. 4.0 robots come a dime-a-dozen. This is the area you sound like you need work on.

Seriously, go out with some friends on the weekend or something. Do something stupid (but not that will get you in trouble). Watch some Netflix. Read a book. Play some racquetball or go for a run. Just do whatever you LIKE to do in your free time. I get that you're a perfectionist, but you gotta find something that you look forward to doing. These things will give you something to talk about and help you to be more well-rounded, but don't do it to make you a better applicant, do it to make you a happier and healthier you.
 
efle said:
Lol, says the married 21 year old

to OP, find a woman. If that's no bueno, then Dota
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Bro c'mon, seriously?

Also OP is a girl apparently.

@DrDre2017 , I'm going on my second year after undergrad now, and while there will be a time to start taking things seriously (whether it be professional or personal) college is a several year long excuse to do s*it that you probably won't ever socially acceptable for you to do again.
 
md-2020 said:
Bro c'mon, seriously?

Also OP is a girl apparently.

@DrDre2017 , I'm going on my second year after undergrad now, and while there will be a time to start taking things seriously (whether it be professional or personal) college is a several year long excuse to do s*it that you probably won't ever socially acceptable for you to do again.
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Yeah seriously Dota is great

Do people not party in med school
 
efle said:
Yeah seriously Dota is great

Do people not party in med school
Click to expand...
Whats dota? I also wasn't referring to that part of your post. No need to preface your posts, dude.
efle said:
Lol, says the married 21 year old
to OP, find a woman. If that's no bueno, then Dota
Click to expand...

From what I've heard med school (or anything after that) is not comparable to college.
 
I knew what you meant man, I was making a joke

Damn, now do I stop drinking or drink alone
 
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efle said:
I knew what you meant man, I was making a joke

Damn, now do I stop drinking or drink alone
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It's cool bro.

Stop drinking it can wait until tomorrow night.
 
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Date someone's daughter whose parent is an admissions director.
 
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