Advice for young vet giving up

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BBnew1234

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Hi, I was wondering if anyone could give me some advice. For as long as I could remember it's been my childhood dream to become a veterinarian. I had a very stressful time and struggled a lot in vet school due to many personal issues and even contemplated quitting, but my loans and remembering that it's all I've wanted to do since I was 2 years old kept me going. I struggled to find my first job after graduating school, as many new vets seem to be these days. After three months of sending out resumes, I ended up landing a job at a Banfield about two hours from the city I call home and wanted to work in so I moved and gave it a try. Corporate medicine wasn't for me and I didn't receive the support and mentorship I would have liked. My work/life balance suffered greatly. I've always been prone to anxiety and depression since starting vet school and being away from my loved ones and hating my job caused my mental health to deteriorate. I fought and argued with my family and pushed my friends away. I suffered from panic attacks regularly and cried almost daily. The only time I was happy was on my infrequent days off.

After a year, I finally decided to quit my job regardless of whether I had loans to pay or whether I had another job or not. Luckily, I got a call back from a job I had applied to back home just as I completed my last two weeks. I began immediately and finally felt settled for a while. I've been there for a year now and I love the people I work with. My technicians and assistants are amazing and the doctors I work with are supportive and helpful. My boss is pretty great and flexible as well. I was happy to have found my new job, was able to get married and take a few vacations. As the months have been going on I'm becoming increasingly unhappy again. I feel overworked. I'm tired of dedicating so much to clients who cannot be pleased. I hate that everything ends up being about money. I'm mentally exhausted and I don't find any reward in what I do anymore. I don't feel any sadness or empathy when dealing with patients and clients until I relax at home and become overwhelmed with grief at all the sick patients and worried clients I couldn't immediately empathize with as I used to. I hate my job but when I go to conferences or I've had a significant time off from work and someone asks me what I do I'm proud to tell them I'm a veterinarian and I feel that excitement about the job that I used to feel coming back.

My husband and I have always talked during my first year of work about taking 1-3 months off together to travel around Australia before heading back home and moving across the country to southern California. He can find a job easily in his line of work but I'm terrified of quitting my miserable but well paying and comfortable job, as it's extremely stressful and difficult to find a job these days. A part of me feels I could use the time off to learn to appreciate what I do again or figure out what I'd like to do, but the other part of me worries about loans and being unemployed again. If it wasn't for my loans I feel I would quit veterinary medicine all together and try something different. I thought of public health as wildlife/zoo/shelter medicine and disease control/epidemiology always seemed interesting to me but even the prospects in those fields don't sound very encouraging. I feel like I'm holding back on everything my husband and I talked about because of loans. I'm still young and I'd hate to destroy my health, waste my life away and lose the love of my life because of loans, fear of letting down my boss and coworkers, false security, and a job I hate. But the other part of me doesn't know what to do with my life. I feel like a slave to my loans. Any advice or input would be greatly appreciated.

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I'm only a pre-vet, but I feel compelled to say something. I can only imagine how much pain you must be in feeling like this dream that you have always wanted to attain has turned into such a nightmare. I do have my fair share of dealings with mental illness (depression, anxiety, substance abuse/addiction, and suicidal ideation) and currently have freedom from it now. What has been so very invaluable for me was asking for help. I started seeing a therapist and addressed my depression and substance abuse. It seems like you have tried a lot to change on your own but the same feelings keep following you around. Have you sought help for your depression/anxiety?
 
Thanks for your reply. That's great that you were able to find the help you need and feel better now. It's hard to acknowledge that one needs help and then find it. I've been seeing a therapist for three years now. I think she's great and has been very helpful as an outlet when I need a third party to talk to. But for the most part I don't feel she understands the career aspect of my problems and I feel she could do more to help me sort things out. I thought of trying a different form of therapy perhaps but not sure how much that would help things...
 
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I've had to try several different therapists to find the right fit and each one definitely has their own method of therapy. I've also had luck with antidepressants for the last 5 years and firmly believe that my body needs a little help balancing things out. Have you tried to talk to any of your colleagues about their experiences with depression/compassion fatigue? I've found that once one person starts talking openly about their struggles, others often share the same experiences. Kudos to you for making strides towards finding what works for you. It's definitely frustrating when you feel like you're doing everything you should and things still don't feel right.

And since you did mention contemplating suicide (I know it was earlier in yours story), call 1-800-273-8255 before you make any permanent decisions.

I'm rooting for you!
 
A lot of what you're describing sounds like compassion fatigue. It might be worth it to find someone in the area that is familiar with that.
 
I'm still in vet school but a lot of the feelings you're describing hit home with me as well. This may be a side note but since you mentioned the whole "clients unwilling to pay" and that sort of thing, as well as the zoo/wildlife/public health, it's possible a change in career might be something to consider. Still being a vet, because that may be your calling, but a different field. Maybe something like shelter medicine, depending on what's available in your town, where you'd deal less with owners and more with rescues in general. Or breaking into public health work. Have you considered lab animal medicine? All the perks of high quality medicine and none of the negotiating over what owners can and cannot afford. Of course I don't know what's available where you live or anything but just things to consider.
 
Perhaps you should look into finding a position in wildlife medicine, or with a wildlife rehabilitation center. You see this way you have the opportunity to treat and care for animals, some that many people will never have the opportunity to see. The best part - NO CLIENTS to deal with. Years ago I ran a wildlife rehab center and was the only rehabber with 24-hour emergency service in the area. It was exhausting at times, and sad (severely injured wild animals have a higher mortality rate than domestics), but highly rewarding when you release them back into nature.
 
Hello,

I am in a similar situation. I am in my 4th (out of 5) year in vet school, and am seriously contemplating dropping out. It is something that I have thought about several times since I started vet school but I managed to brush the idea aside every time because I am not a quitter and I didn't want to allow myself that thought. However I have been fairly unhappy as a vet student from the start, and cannot envision myself working as a veterinarian for the rest of my life. I think I need to finally own up to my feelings and realize I don't have to doom myself to a lifetime of unhappiness and undue stress.

I know very well what the vet profession entails as I worked as a tech for years before vet school. I always tricked myself in to believing I could handle being a vet but I am being completely honest with myself now and recognizing that I will not be able to handle it. I cannot fathom the amount of immense responsibility that I would have as a vet, the thought of it almost makes me physically unwell.

Also, I am an extreme introvert and I literally feel drained at the end of every day at vet school due to just having to interact with my peers. I felt the same way when I worked in a busy clinic. I know the right career for me would be working behind the scenes somewhere, such as in a laboratory or maybe even from home. I am still trying to figure out what I want to do, but I know that it is not veterinary medicine. The passion is just not there, and my interest has been waning over the years. My grades have reflected that as I barely scrape by with passing marks. I just want to up and leave now but I figure I might as well finish the semester since there's only a month left. I don't want to let my family and friends back home down by quitting, but my heart just isn't in it.

Anyone else thinking about or have already dropped out of vet school? Any insight? Thanks.
 
Also, I am an extreme introvert and I literally feel drained at the end of every day at vet school due to just having to interact with my peers. I felt the same way when I worked in a busy clinic. I know the right career for me would be working behind the scenes somewhere, such as in a laboratory or maybe even from home. I am still trying to figure out what I want to do, but I know that it is not veterinary medicine. The passion is just not there, and my interest has been waning over the years. My grades have reflected that as I barely scrape by with passing marks. I just want to up and leave now but I figure I might as well finish the semester since there's only a month left. I don't want to let my family and friends back home down by quitting, but my heart just isn't in it.

Anyone else thinking about or have already dropped out of vet school? Any insight? Thanks.

How much have your grades slipped? Have you considered pursuing a specialty in something that isn't very client-heavy, such as radiology, pathology, public health, etc?
 
How much have your grades slipped? Have you considered pursuing a specialty in something that isn't very client-heavy, such as radiology, pathology, public health, etc?

Well I have never been at the top of the class that's for sure. Now that I look back on the past few years I realize I never had a very strong passion for vet med and I only studied enough to just pass. This semester my interest is waning even more and I fear I won't pass my classes. But I am not too bothered since I don't want to continue anyway!

I have thought about specializing in one of those areas but to be honest they don't interest me enough to pursue those avenues. I just don't think the field of veterinary medicine is for me. I originally wanted to be a vet because I loved animals (don't we all) but I wasn't being honest with myself about the amount of responsibility I will be placed with. I still love animals of course, but I don't have the passion for medicine to continue.
 
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Have you considered lab animal medicine? All the perks of high quality medicine and none of the negotiating over what owners can and cannot afford. Of course I don't know what's available where you live or anything but just things to consider.

Lab Animal Med is awesome and you may not be fighting with clients about money but you'll definitely be fighting with PI's about what treatments they can afford to pay, which is usually nothing. Just FYI.
 
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Lab Animal Med is awesome and you may not be fighting with clients about money but you'll definitely be fighting with PI's about what treatments they can afford to pay, which is usually nothing. Just FYI.
Working on the research side of things I've never seen the treatments being optional. Basically if it was for the animal's well being and the vet thought it necessary, it was done. I don't know if it had something to do with the facilities I worked in or their accreditation status or funding or what-have-you. Good to know that it may vary though. That being said, I've definitely seen arguments about which treatments/housing/etc the PI's didn't want to do because they thought it might interfere with their research. That one was more tricky, trying to come up with compromises to make everyone happy.
 
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