Hi, I was wondering if anyone could give me some advice. For as long as I could remember it's been my childhood dream to become a veterinarian. I had a very stressful time and struggled a lot in vet school due to many personal issues and even contemplated quitting, but my loans and remembering that it's all I've wanted to do since I was 2 years old kept me going. I struggled to find my first job after graduating school, as many new vets seem to be these days. After three months of sending out resumes, I ended up landing a job at a Banfield about two hours from the city I call home and wanted to work in so I moved and gave it a try. Corporate medicine wasn't for me and I didn't receive the support and mentorship I would have liked. My work/life balance suffered greatly. I've always been prone to anxiety and depression since starting vet school and being away from my loved ones and hating my job caused my mental health to deteriorate. I fought and argued with my family and pushed my friends away. I suffered from panic attacks regularly and cried almost daily. The only time I was happy was on my infrequent days off.
After a year, I finally decided to quit my job regardless of whether I had loans to pay or whether I had another job or not. Luckily, I got a call back from a job I had applied to back home just as I completed my last two weeks. I began immediately and finally felt settled for a while. I've been there for a year now and I love the people I work with. My technicians and assistants are amazing and the doctors I work with are supportive and helpful. My boss is pretty great and flexible as well. I was happy to have found my new job, was able to get married and take a few vacations. As the months have been going on I'm becoming increasingly unhappy again. I feel overworked. I'm tired of dedicating so much to clients who cannot be pleased. I hate that everything ends up being about money. I'm mentally exhausted and I don't find any reward in what I do anymore. I don't feel any sadness or empathy when dealing with patients and clients until I relax at home and become overwhelmed with grief at all the sick patients and worried clients I couldn't immediately empathize with as I used to. I hate my job but when I go to conferences or I've had a significant time off from work and someone asks me what I do I'm proud to tell them I'm a veterinarian and I feel that excitement about the job that I used to feel coming back.
My husband and I have always talked during my first year of work about taking 1-3 months off together to travel around Australia before heading back home and moving across the country to southern California. He can find a job easily in his line of work but I'm terrified of quitting my miserable but well paying and comfortable job, as it's extremely stressful and difficult to find a job these days. A part of me feels I could use the time off to learn to appreciate what I do again or figure out what I'd like to do, but the other part of me worries about loans and being unemployed again. If it wasn't for my loans I feel I would quit veterinary medicine all together and try something different. I thought of public health as wildlife/zoo/shelter medicine and disease control/epidemiology always seemed interesting to me but even the prospects in those fields don't sound very encouraging. I feel like I'm holding back on everything my husband and I talked about because of loans. I'm still young and I'd hate to destroy my health, waste my life away and lose the love of my life because of loans, fear of letting down my boss and coworkers, false security, and a job I hate. But the other part of me doesn't know what to do with my life. I feel like a slave to my loans. Any advice or input would be greatly appreciated.
After a year, I finally decided to quit my job regardless of whether I had loans to pay or whether I had another job or not. Luckily, I got a call back from a job I had applied to back home just as I completed my last two weeks. I began immediately and finally felt settled for a while. I've been there for a year now and I love the people I work with. My technicians and assistants are amazing and the doctors I work with are supportive and helpful. My boss is pretty great and flexible as well. I was happy to have found my new job, was able to get married and take a few vacations. As the months have been going on I'm becoming increasingly unhappy again. I feel overworked. I'm tired of dedicating so much to clients who cannot be pleased. I hate that everything ends up being about money. I'm mentally exhausted and I don't find any reward in what I do anymore. I don't feel any sadness or empathy when dealing with patients and clients until I relax at home and become overwhelmed with grief at all the sick patients and worried clients I couldn't immediately empathize with as I used to. I hate my job but when I go to conferences or I've had a significant time off from work and someone asks me what I do I'm proud to tell them I'm a veterinarian and I feel that excitement about the job that I used to feel coming back.
My husband and I have always talked during my first year of work about taking 1-3 months off together to travel around Australia before heading back home and moving across the country to southern California. He can find a job easily in his line of work but I'm terrified of quitting my miserable but well paying and comfortable job, as it's extremely stressful and difficult to find a job these days. A part of me feels I could use the time off to learn to appreciate what I do again or figure out what I'd like to do, but the other part of me worries about loans and being unemployed again. If it wasn't for my loans I feel I would quit veterinary medicine all together and try something different. I thought of public health as wildlife/zoo/shelter medicine and disease control/epidemiology always seemed interesting to me but even the prospects in those fields don't sound very encouraging. I feel like I'm holding back on everything my husband and I talked about because of loans. I'm still young and I'd hate to destroy my health, waste my life away and lose the love of my life because of loans, fear of letting down my boss and coworkers, false security, and a job I hate. But the other part of me doesn't know what to do with my life. I feel like a slave to my loans. Any advice or input would be greatly appreciated.