Advice Needed: How far is too far?

[Idealist64]

My question is: how far is too far to live away from campus during a PhD program?

I am attending one of my top choice PhD programs this fall and couldn't be happier. But, the area where the school is located is a semi-rural "college town" (very small town), and I am really more of a city person, in the sense that I love different ethnic foods, having indie movie theaters around, the diversity of cities, etc. There is a major city about 45 mins-1 hr away from campus that I LOVE (I've lived there in the past). My husband also might be working in this city if he gets a job there, which is the likely scenario at this point.

I see many pros and cons to choosing to live in the city rather than the small town. Believe it or not, because of a fluke in rent prices, the rent would basically be the same in either place. It would be a reverse commute so hopefully I could avoid some of the traffic, there is also public transportation (about 75 mins) so I could get reading done, etc, if I chose that route. I would get to spend the weekends and downtime in a place with lots to do.

However, I'm just not sure about being that far from campus. Will I miss out on social things that others do after class, etc, because I have to commute? Will I be on campus so late at night that a commute back feels unsafe/I'll be too tired to drive that far? How much time to 1st years/2nd year PhD students really spend on campus? Is everyone on campus every day or do people work from home a significant amount of time?

Any advice from those who have done commute like this before or anyone who has experience as a PhD student and want to chime in would be much appreciated! I'm starting to look for apartments now, as I hope to move in June... Thanks everyone!

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[Pragma]

My question is: how far is too far to live away from campus during a PhD program?

I am attending one of my top choice PhD programs this fall and couldn't be happier. But, the area where the school is located is a semi-rural "college town" (very small town), and I am really more of a city person, in the sense that I love different ethnic foods, having indie movie theaters around, the diversity of cities, etc. There is a major city about 45 mins-1 hr away from campus that I LOVE (I've lived there in the past). My husband also might be working in this city if he gets a job there, which is the likely scenario at this point.

I see many pros and cons to choosing to live in the city rather than the small town. Believe it or not, because of a fluke in rent prices, the rent would basically be the same in either place. It would be a reverse commute so hopefully I could avoid some of the traffic, there is also public transportation (about 75 mins) so I could get reading done, etc, if I chose that route. I would get to spend the weekends and downtime in a place with lots to do.

However, I'm just not sure about being that far from campus. Will I miss out on social things that others do after class, etc, because I have to commute? Will I be on campus so late at night that a commute back feels unsafe/I'll be too tired to drive that far? How much time to 1st years/2nd year PhD students really spend on campus? Is everyone on campus every day or do people work from home a significant amount of time?

Any advice from those who have done commute like this before or anyone who has experience as a PhD student and want to chime in would be much appreciated! I'm starting to look for apartments now, as I hope to move in June... Thanks everyone!

It is really hard to say. There will be social events and such, and you will spend most of your time studying I'd imagine.

As someone who believes in living where you want to live and who has taken a lot of public transportation for positions (similar lengths of time to what you reported), I can say it gets annoying after awhile, but the time is more productive than driving.

In my opinion, living close to campus is not a big deal provided you can still get there if you need to. In some ways, it is nice to live a little further because you have a reason to leave. If you do a lot of your coursework/studying at home (and aren't a library person so much) then it also probably isn't a big deal.

That said, you could ask current students about it! They know your program best.

 

[AcronymAllergy]

I know a small handful of people who commute anywhere from 30 minutes to about 1.5 hours to school. They definitely get annoyed by it at times, but they still make it work. It just requires planning ahead, of course, and means that you might miss out on more of the grad student social events than if you lived nearby (owing to these events perhaps not starting until a few hours after your last on-campus obligation and/or your being tired and not wanting to have to drive home afterward).

Maybe consider looking into places between school and the city? You wouldn't be "in" either locale, but it would leave you with a very manageable (25 minute?) commute time to both.

Edit: And from what I remember, I was on campus every day during my first and second years, yes. Between practicum, TA duties, classes, and practica at the on-campus clinic, I had at least a few hours scheduled M-F.

 

[aschwe3]

Is there a city in between both? I'd try that. Remember that hour you are spending driving or using public transport or what not is an hour you could be doing work. Those hours add up quickly. Your free time goes from time you could spend with your S/O and classmates unwinding to time you've spent traveling. Plus, I'm not sure if money is an issue or not here, but that money will add up just as quickly as the hours.

Your free time will be limited as is. Make sure you will have enough to keep yourself sane. And good luck!

 

[QClinician]

Finding out what time classes start could be important for you to know. I lived very close to campus because i hated to commute and i was by far the happiest person the year we had to take an 8am class.

 

[cara susanna]

What's the weather like there? An hour could turn into longer if there is snow or ice on the roads or the subway tracks.

Either way, I probably wouldn't live an hour away unless I had to. You can always visit the bigger city on weekends for the kind of food and culture that you like. Then again, I currently commute an hour to my placement and I am so sick of travelling. Heh. Also, as others have said, commutes can be absolutely terrible if you have to be on campus at 8 or even 9 AM.

 

[Therapist4Chnge]

I know people who lived up to an hour away, and they tended to have pretty long days because they couldn't run back home for a couple of hours to drop things off, catch their breath, etc. They found places (like the local coffee place) where they could go for down time 'away' from the dept. I don't think it'd be ideal, but you can make it work. Some of this also depends on your lab/mentor/etc. responsibilities.

I did my internship in a place where I had ~40mi commute each way, and it really wore on me during the wintertime because the roads were a mess. The tradeoff was that I lived in a larger city and enjoyed a city lifestyle that I wanted, as the alternatives were really small towns with zero culture. I'm not sure I'd be okay having an hour commute each way for 4-5 years, though some people deal with much worse. A non-psych friend of mine has a 2+ hour commute (each way) into NYC every day, and she's been doing it for quite awhile. Is there a place halfway in between?

 

[wigflip]

There is a major city about 45 mins-1 hr away from campus

I am in a social science field other than psych (hoping to transition over), so I haven't had practicums lumped on top of the demands of classes/teaching/research/publishing/conferences/service work. And my commute is longer than the one you're describing. But for what it's worth:

1. Do not, I repeat do not, compromise by living separately from your hubby. My commute was longer than yours, so we lived separately for the first few years. Bad, bad, bad for the marriage. You don't seem to be going in this direction, but physical separation has been bad for every grad student relationship I've seen.

2. Know yourself. Small towns drive me crazy. This is actually something I didn't know about myself before starting grad school. Boy do I know now. Also, Are you an older student who's unlikely to want to spend social time with younger grad students (beyond what's needed)? If you don't click with your cohort, you may wish you were closer to the city and not stuck in the boonies.

3. Can you find out more about your practicum sites? If its likely that you'll be commuting back to Nearby Big City for your practicum anyway (starts second year??) then that might factor in.

4. Can you talk to anyone in the department (a more advanced grad student you connected with during interviews?) about the culture of the department? Some departments seem to feel that it's "disloyal" or shows evidence of insufficient seriousness if grad students don't live near campus. Every mentor I had before starting grad school advised me to lie about my weekend commutes back home. I thought this was preposterous, but it turns out that my department is one of the ones where this bias seems to be present.

5. Also, you may miss out on campus talks, colloquiums, etc. if you are further from campus.

For me personally, being far from campus has been bad for me as a grad student, but good for me as half of a couple, as well as for my mental health as a whole. You might benefit from grad student family housing the first year while you're figuring things out, then choose to move to Nearby Big City during year 2??

 

[Pragma]

I have commuted 3 hours per day for internship and fellowship via public transportation, because I love my neighborhood.

I get mad work done on public transit (ideal for reading or studying). *Edit: or SDNing*

Does it bother me at times? Yes. Would I rather move to bumble****? HELL NO.

As others have mentioned, commuting means that you can't drop in at home, but I hardly know anyone that ever did that anyways. Most people I knew in grad school worked all day then went home and did homework or research work.

 

[wigflip]

Does it bother me at times? Yes. Would I rather move to bumble****? HELL NO.

I'm with you, Pragma.

A downside to grad student family housing (which works great for many people despite what I'm about to mention) is that it can be quite claustrophobic, and it can amplify the effects of your departmental culture. If members of your cohort bug you in class, how will you like having to see them in the laundromat or hearing them gab on the phone through your shared wall?

 

[FemmeFeline]

I am not expecting to have much free time while in grad school, so I am planning to live as close to my future building as I can possibly afford. Being close to where you work/go to school actually enables you to have more free time, because you aren't losing a lot of time going to and from your home (which is the "me zone!") And, as another mentioned, for those precious times you DO have enough free time to actually enjoy all a metropolitan city offers...you can commute there instead. I love public transportation but even that can weigh on you if your commute is long enough. Think about how much your commute will extend your "work" day as a grad student...1 hour each way means +2 hours of not "me time" every day.

As far as separating from your partner... If physical presence is an issue because one of you works in the opposite direction, find a place in the middle. Do not physically separate, and do not be the one to "suck it up" and have a really long commute. Even if your husband turns out commuting more than he would have if you lived next to HIS work, he wouldn't be happy with how drained you are feeling when you come home every day after two long drives/rides.

I commuted via public transit 2 hours each way for a job, making my day a 12 hour workday, and I was completely exhausted and incomprehensible when I got home. I was basically a "body" with no will or energy to engage in conversation or activities with my significant other. Not good! We are much happier having moved close to where I work.

 

[wigflip]

I think part of it depends on your mindset too. My misery about being stuck in Smallsville eventually overwhelmed my desire to avoid a crushing commute. Food was terrible, couldn't see a decent movie, "art" was utter crap, people made fun of or reviled Nearby Big City. I think I realized I'd had enough when I tried to use a check, drawn on a major US bank, to pay for something in a small shop. They wouldn't take it because they only accepted personal checks drawn on Smallsville Savings or Bank of Smallsville. Seriously.

 

[bunderj]

My question is: how far is too far to live away from campus during a PhD program?

I am attending one of my top choice PhD programs this fall and couldn't be happier. But, the area where the school is located is a semi-rural "college town" (very small town), and I am really more of a city person, in the sense that I love different ethnic foods, having indie movie theaters around, the diversity of cities, etc. There is a major city about 45 mins-1 hr away from campus that I LOVE (I've lived there in the past). My husband also might be working in this city if he gets a job there, which is the likely scenario at this point.

I see many pros and cons to choosing to live in the city rather than the small town. Believe it or not, because of a fluke in rent prices, the rent would basically be the same in either place. It would be a reverse commute so hopefully I could avoid some of the traffic, there is also public transportation (about 75 mins) so I could get reading done, etc, if I chose that route. I would get to spend the weekends and downtime in a place with lots to do.

However, I'm just not sure about being that far from campus. Will I miss out on social things that others do after class, etc, because I have to commute? Will I be on campus so late at night that a commute back feels unsafe/I'll be too tired to drive that far? How much time to 1st years/2nd year PhD students really spend on campus? Is everyone on campus every day or do people work from home a significant amount of time?

Any advice from those who have done commute like this before or anyone who has experience as a PhD student and want to chime in would be much appreciated! I'm starting to look for apartments now, as I hope to move in June... Thanks everyone!

I'm just finishing up my first year in a pretty intense, research-focused clinical Ph.D. program, and my commute now is 45 mins-1 hour, depending on traffic. Like you, I couldn't see myself living in a small, rural area, so my husband and I live in a nearby mid-sized city instead. I haven't found it too bad, and I'm on campus 5 days a week. There are social things that I've missed out on, but honestly I'm a little older and more interested in spending time with my husband than going out after class anyway..so whatever floats your boat. Sometimes I go to that stuff, sometimes not. It has been very worth it to me to have good food, theater, shops, etc... In fact, after my second year I'll be moving even further away, to a very large city that I've lived in and love, because I miss the big city environment so much and don't mind the commute. I split my commute about 50/50 between driving and public transportation, and like others have said, the train is really a great place to get reading done...so I actually kind of enjoy that aspect. Good luck, I think it's totally doable. Live where you'll be happy!

 

[lava12345]

You could always try to get a short term lease (3-6) months to get a feel for it. Then you could decide where you want to live for the remaining 4 years.

 

[Therapist4Chnge]

You could always try to get a short term lease (3-6) months to get a feel for it. Then you could decide where you want to live for the remaining 4 years.

This is a *really* good idea. I've kicked around the idea for my next move...though I'm hoping to visit (wherever I end up) at least once or twice before I move.

 

[Idealist64]

Thanks everyone! Some really helpful advice and things to think about...

Obviously I really am motivated to get off to a good start in my program, and not put myself at a disadvantage in any way as a student, so for that reason it is compelling to be close to campus. It sounds like some people make the commute work though and that it depends on the person and priorities. I've never done a commute like that before so I'm not sure what kind of a person I am in that regards! Good idea about the shorter lease though, I'll look into it.... Thanks again everyone!

 

[LMK]

I live in a big city with good public transportation. My commute to campus is about 30-40 minutes. I get more for my rent in this part of the city, and lucked out with a practicum within walking distance of my apartment. The commute can be an hour long coming home if I hit rush hour. I also used to have a 45 minute commute for work. If you can use the commute to get work done (ie, on public transit) and stick to that, it makes your home time more of your own. Alternately, if you can use that commute as decompression time, you're more relaxed when you get home to your spouse. Living where you're most comfortable is pretty important to sanity! Good idea on the short lease though.

 

[Therapist4Chnge]

I have a ~35min commute to work now (mass transit), and it is actually a nice way to start/end work. I have read more (non-professional) books in the past year than I did in my previous 3. Now I just watch TV shows on my iPad. It can be a PITA if you live too far from an access point, but I find it much preferable to driving and dealing with rush hour.

 

[busybusybusy]

One of the girls in my program lives an hour away and she does just fine. There's no public transportation here so she drives it. I know that she got the DSM and some other books on mp3 and plays them on her drive. She also opened herself up to other prac opportunities, as she lives in an area which is a bit more populated, which I thought was kinda nice.

 

[kinzie]

I was in this situation at the beginning of this year, my first year. I started out living in the small town near campus, then moved at Thanksgiving to the bigger city an hour away. I think there are pros and cons to both situations. Overall, I am much happier living in the city.

For living close, it was easy to attend social events, if I ever forgot something I could drive and get it, if I had a few hours break between classes I could go home, and I could sleep in a little later. For cons, I hated the small town so I didn't enjoy my free time, I felt like I could never get a break from my school/cohort because it was such a small community, and it was really hard to meet people outside of my school because few people my age stayed in the small town.

For living far away, I love where I live, the commute actually gives me a nice mental break from school so I'm ready to do homework when I get home, I actually spend more time with my cohort because I can't run home during breaks, I'm actually better placed for practicum because many of our sites are outside my program's small town, and it's easier to make friends outside of my program. For cons, the commute is hard in bad weather, on the long days the driving gets tiring, and gas prices hurt the budget.

I think it can depend on your program. My program has a group of use who commute 20+ minutes, so when the locals go home mid-day, we talk/do homework together and I've actually gotten closer to people that way. Also, as I said, my program has practicums mostly outside its small town, so I have a faster drive to most sites.

I would ask how many people in your program commute, where practicum sites are, and then honestly think about how much the small town would bother you. I actually think my way of living in town for a few months then moving further away was nice, though the mid-term move was stressful. A shorter lease could definitely be a good option.

 

[Therapist4Chnge]

...honestly think about how much the small town would bother you.

Many people view that living in a place that isn't a good fit for them is less of an issue because you don't have that much free time, but I found it to be the opposite. While you may not have a ton of free time, when you are able to use it...you want to be able to really enjoy it.

 

[ClinicalABA]

There always seemed to be 1-2 student each year in my program who chose to live in "big city" and make the 1.5 hour commute out to the woods where good ole State U is located.(though it was more common to do so in later years than the first year when there are a lot of on-campus obligations pretty much every day). It seemed to work out for them. They could always find a place to crash with one of us locals if they needed to be around early/stay late, bad weather, or just didn't feel like driving that day. It also worked out cool for us, as we had a place to crash if we wanted to go to the "big city" for a night or two. For many of them, it was done for relationship reasons, as partners lived in the city. For others, it was for practicum.

I don't know, though- it might be a good opportunity to try out living somewhere different, safe in the knowledge that it's only for a limited time. Then, come time for the likely move for internship, post-doc, job, etc., there'll be a few less surprises.

 

[ClinicalABA]

I love different ethnic foods, having indie movie theaters around, the diversity of cities, etc.

These things and "small town" are not mutually exclusive! My small town is loaded with a multitude of ethnic restaurants, has two indie movie theaters, multiple music performance spaces with an awesome local scene (it's always a little strange when it's Thurston Moore or J Mascis in front of you in line at the grocery store!), and is known for it's gender/sexual identity diversity. No, it's not the big city, but it ain't bad either. We don't sit around chewing straw, strumming banjos, and sipping moonshine (though that sounds like it might be fun in small doses!)

You might find out that you'd really dig living in the small college for a semester or two, even if you stick with your plan to move back to a more urban setting.

 

[AcronymAllergy]

One of the girls in my program lives an hour away and she does just fine. There's no public transportation here so she drives it. I know that she got the DSM and some other books on mp3 and plays them on her drive. She also opened herself up to other prac opportunities, as she lives in an area which is a bit more populated, which I thought was kinda nice.

Wow, I quite literally can't imagine how painfully dry the DSM must sound as an audiobook, especially once they get to listing out diagnostic criteria. Kudos to her for the dedication, though.

 

[paramour]

I've commuted anywhere from 30minutes to 1hr 45minutes (on a good day) one way for grad school. Most years my commute has been 1 hour and that's probably been best for me. Thirty minutes is too darned close to campus and people I have no desire to see every moment of my waking life. The longer commute (actually out-of-state ) was a PITA whenever it snowed or a blizzard came through, or when someone wants you to come in for a 15/30-minute meeting and then cancels after you arrive (and that was the only thing you had planned for the day), or when you're tired as frak and ready to go home & crash after a long day buuuut you still have a 2 hr drive ahead of you. Granted, those 1-hour commutes quickly turn into a pain in the arse with snow as well, but they're usually bearable.

I think it probably boils down to what you're used to as I've had to drive about an hour or so (sometimes more) for commute times prior to moving for grad school, so it didn't seem like that big of a deal to continue doing it. It keeps me sane to stay a bit further away from campus and folks who drive me batty. And rent is cheaper (my primary motivator ). Oh, yeah, as an extra bonus, there's more to do, more places to eat, and I'm not amidst the vast fields of corn (if you care for that sort of crap). Of course, the downside is I pay more for gas when I'm not riding my motorcycle. And, if you haven't noticed, gas prices sucketh and quickly add up when you're driving those lengthy distances (no public transportation to help either).