Advice with Institutional Action essay and personal statement? long, but only have 6 questions.

[ShakaChaka]

Hi SDN,

Just a brief backgroud:
I am ORM(Korean), I have a cgpa3.65 and sgpa3.78, mcat 29(10b,10v,9p), took five years to graduate, and took a gap year to shadow doctor 35 hours, and clinicals 98 hours. My nonclinical hours is about 80-100hours.
I have research 1000+ hours, and a publication that is in review with a company.
I was raised by a single parent mom, who had polio and survived ovarian cancer.

During my freshman year, I was heavily under the influence with marijuana and did other drugs and alcohol here and there like ecstasy, cocaine, lsd, and pain killers. I was put on academic probation after my very 1st quarter. My 2nd quarter, I failed English 1A because I plagiarized my friend's essay to get high with him, and also failed all my other classes. I was dismissed from school. Afterwards, I was super depressed and found faith in God. With new work ethics and integrity, I exponentially succeeded in my goals as I was readmitted back to college and raised my cgpa of .98 to 3.72(3.65 bc amcas counts the F's..)

I will be applying to DO and MD schools.

#1. Are my chances ok, even with the plagiarizing incident?



The people reviewing my personal statement told me to not include the crazy details and treat it like a first date, and try to show them more of my success than my shortcomings.

Here is one review from a doctor:

"I remember when my advisor who has read thousands of personal statements read it and was like, "You didn't get a single interview, right?" because I talked about EXCUSES for why I SHOULDN'T get into med school or why I didn't do well in school rather than focus on my drive and what makes me a successful applicant. He told me, "You don't need excuses, this is not the time or place for it." I know it's hard to toot your own horn, but think of it as a place to shine and show off your best features.

What I feel you should do is completely remove any inkling of "drugs" in your personal statement. It really is a red flag for admissions committees to think that you would not succeed in the field of medicine, since doctors have such a high drug abuse potential and go to jail or get substance abuse treatment. Even if it's all in the past, they may think old habits die hard. You should also not mention the word 'suicide' at all, as doctors often struggle with depression and suicide and when you apply for residency and a job, if you state that you have even depression, they will not accept you and label you as "unfit" for medicine. Not kidding. It's sad but true. I think mentioning bad habits (stealing, etc) will make you seem like you have poor character. I totally get your point that the purpose is to mention how you've changed because of God, but I can count that they will NOT understand that and probably hold it against you. Focus on the good and the positive, how much you've grown and changed without going into detail of the person you were before.I would try hard to keep it light-hearted, possibly funny if possible, poignant at the right times... describe the character qualities and passions you have that make them want you. I was advised by many people I respect to keep religion out of it... that's completely up to you. I would have to say that most doctors reading it will be unbelievers though and at least most of my friends are completely turned off by religion itself and might stop reading it right then and there, so it may be too heavy for a personal statement, even if that is the crux of your existence... you have to be sensitive to your readers."

I'm not sure if I entirely buy the doctor's claim because my situation is very different from the doctor and maybe it isn't like a first date, but more like a sympathy plea to a human being?
My prehealth advisor said my personal statement was strong and really good, despite all the super personal details.

#2. Should I not talk about my marijuana addiction and drug dealer friends and not talk about my faith as the doctor suggested?

#3. Maybe I should tone down the short comings with less details and add more on what I learned and why I am motivated.


#4. If I can talk about some aspects from #3, should it go in my personal statement or the IA essay, or both?
i. I feel like they will read my IA essay first, and then my personal statement, so maybe I should
write more or all of it in my IA essay.

My grades and my accomplishments is some proof that I changed, but they still might reject me because of the academic dishonest mark. I think I need to explain adequately what happened during either my personal statement or IA essay, or in both. I don't want to be repetitive by talking about the same things in both essays, and I don't want to add red flags by talking about all the drugs I used, or even drugs at all(I might just say I hung out with the wrong crowd), and I don't know if I should even talk about my depression.

I am planning to write in my IA essay all the IA's I received, all the sanctions, what I learned, and how I changed, and that I am changed. If you guys suggest it, I might also add in some of the things I was going through like drug addiction and faith here.

#5. Any inputs on my IA that I'm going to rewrite.

For my personal statement, I am going to write maybe on my single parent mom's battle with polio and cancer, and my battle to readmit back to college after hanging out with the wrong crowd and how these events made me want to go to medical school. If you guys suggest it, I might also add in some of the things I was going through with drug addiction and faith.

#6. Any inputs on my personal statement that I am going to revamp?

Sorry for the lengthiness, I am just super nervous as I am getting ready to send out my application as soon as I can. Thank you SDN community for all your encouragements and wisdom!

Sincerely,
ShakaChaka

P.S. I spent about 18 hours on my personal statement and I have both my personal statement and my IA essay written up, but from what the doctor mentioned, I really want to revamp it.

For anyone interested in helping this lowly pre-med, I will be thankful to email you over my attached personal statement to quickly look over and also my IA essay.

Thank you again for helping me to reach my goals!!

---

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[AvacadosAtLaw]

As a point of clarification, did you ever receive an IA for your drug use? If not, I agree that you shouldn't talk about it all. Plagiarism is already a huge red flag for medical schools, I would not want to add past illegal drug use into the mix.

Remember that your PS should be an essay about why you want to be a doctor. It's okay to talk about your mom's battle with polio and cancer, but remember the statement should ultimately be about you. I agree with the advice you've been given about focusing more on your successes. It's okay to talk about your shortcomings if you mention how you overcome them, but only if it directly relates to why you want to be a doctor. Your ultimately trying to sell yourself to medical schools, so focus on the positives.

 

[candbgirl]

Are you sure about your GPA? I can't figure out how you went from a .98 to a 3.72 GPA.

 

[Cawolf]

Are you sure about your GPA? I can't figure out how you went from a .98 to a 3.72 GPA.

If they were dismissed with a .98 after only 2 quarters, it is quite reasonable that the next 10 - 12 quarters raised their GPA to 3.65.


As asked above, it is important to note if you have any legal action or IA against you. Mention only what you need to disclose.

I agree with your doctor's notes, avoid speaking about drug use and religion. Ultimately, you can write it how you please, but some readers may dismiss you instantly for either topic - unless you are only applying to religious schools.

I suggest getting your essay edited for grammar when it is complete.

 

[ZedsDed]

Hi SDN,

Just a brief backgroud:
I am ORM(Korean), I have a cgpa3.65 and sgpa3.78, mcat 29(10b,10v,9p), took five years to graduate, and took a gap year to shadow doctor 35 hours, and clinicals 98 hours. My nonclinical hours is about 80-100hours.
I have research 1000+ hours, and a publication that is in review with a company.
I was raised by a single parent mom, who had polio and survived ovarian cancer.

During my freshman year, I was heavily under the influence with marijuana and did other drugs and alcohol here and there like ecstasy, cocaine, lsd, and pain killers. I was put on academic probation after my very 1st quarter. My 2nd quarter, I failed English 1A because I plagiarized my friend's essay to get high with him, and also failed all my other classes. I was dismissed from school. Afterwards, I was super depressed and found faith in God. With new work ethics and integrity, I exponentially succeeded in my goals as I was readmitted back to college and raised my cgpa of .98 to 3.72(3.65 bc amcas counts the F's..)

I will be applying to DO and MD schools.

#1. Are my chances ok, even with the plagiarizing incident?



The people reviewing my personal statement told me to not include the crazy details and treat it like a first date, and try to show them more of my success than my shortcomings.

Here is one review from a doctor:

"I remember when my advisor who has read thousands of personal statements read it and was like, "You didn't get a single interview, right?" because I talked about EXCUSES for why I SHOULDN'T get into med school or why I didn't do well in school rather than focus on my drive and what makes me a successful applicant. He told me, "You don't need excuses, this is not the time or place for it." I know it's hard to toot your own horn, but think of it as a place to shine and show off your best features.

What I feel you should do is completely remove any inkling of "drugs" in your personal statement. It really is a red flag for admissions committees to think that you would not succeed in the field of medicine, since doctors have such a high drug abuse potential and go to jail or get substance abuse treatment. Even if it's all in the past, they may think old habits die hard. You should also not mention the word 'suicide' at all, as doctors often struggle with depression and suicide and when you apply for residency and a job, if you state that you have even depression, they will not accept you and label you as "unfit" for medicine. Not kidding. It's sad but true. I think mentioning bad habits (stealing, etc) will make you seem like you have poor character. I totally get your point that the purpose is to mention how you've changed because of God, but I can count that they will NOT understand that and probably hold it against you. Focus on the good and the positive, how much you've grown and changed without going into detail of the person you were before.I would try hard to keep it light-hearted, possibly funny if possible, poignant at the right times... describe the character qualities and passions you have that make them want you. I was advised by many people I respect to keep religion out of it... that's completely up to you. I would have to say that most doctors reading it will be unbelievers though and at least most of my friends are completely turned off by religion itself and might stop reading it right then and there, so it may be too heavy for a personal statement, even if that is the crux of your existence... you have to be sensitive to your readers."

I'm not sure if I entirely buy the doctor's claim because my situation is very different from the doctor and maybe it isn't like a first date, but more like a sympathy plea to a human being?
My prehealth advisor said my personal statement was strong and really good, despite all the super personal details.

#2. Should I not talk about my marijuana addiction and drug dealer friends and not talk about my faith as the doctor suggested?

#3. Maybe I should tone down the short comings with less details and add more on what I learned and why I am motivated.


#4. If I can talk about some aspects from #3, should it go in my personal statement or the IA essay, or both?
i. I feel like they will read my IA essay first, and then my personal statement, so maybe I should
write more or all of it in my IA essay.

My grades and my accomplishments is some proof that I changed, but they still might reject me because of the academic dishonest mark. I think I need to explain adequately what happened during either my personal statement or IA essay, or in both. I don't want to be repetitive by talking about the same things in both essays, and I don't want to add red flags by talking about all the drugs I used, or even drugs at all(I might just say I hung out with the wrong crowd), and I don't know if I should even talk about my depression.

I am planning to write in my IA essay all the IA's I received, all the sanctions, what I learned, and how I changed, and that I am changed. If you guys suggest it, I might also add in some of the things I was going through like drug addiction and faith here.

#5. Any inputs on my IA that I'm going to rewrite.

For my personal statement, I am going to write maybe on my single parent mom's battle with polio and cancer, and my battle to readmit back to college after hanging out with the wrong crowd and how these events made me want to go to medical school. If you guys suggest it, I might also add in some of the things I was going through with drug addiction and faith.

#6. Any inputs on my personal statement that I am going to revamp?

Sorry for the lengthiness, I am just super nervous as I am getting ready to send out my application as soon as I can. Thank you SDN community for all your encouragements and wisdom!

Sincerely,
ShakaChaka

P.S. I spent about 18 hours on my personal statement and I have both my personal statement and my IA essay written up, but from what the doctor mentioned, I really want to revamp it.

For anyone interested in helping this lowly pre-med, I will be thankful to email you over my attached personal statement to quickly look over and also my IA essay.

Thank you again for helping me to reach my goals!!

tl;dr
I hope all of this is 5+ years in the past. Otherwise, your claims of redemption will ring hollow.