D
deleted413795
I have been in a long distance relationship for over two years (5 hours apart), and will be starting medical school roughly three hours from my SO. My significant other and I have had many arguments in the past that have stemmed from me putting school and career ahead of our relationship. I should also mention that my SO is 8 years older than I am. I have also tried talking about the fact that I will have even less time in the coming years than I have now.
Anytime I try bringing it up my SO does not want to talk about it. It is even more of an issue because she refuses to set specific times to talk. On top of that, at the moment I do 75%+ of the traveling to her and she rarely comes to me. Next year once school starts I will not have the money or time to make those drives, so she would have to be doing the majority of the driving, which she has been reluctant to do thus far. Also, she will be in school full time as well, so her time will be rather limited also.
One of the biggest issues is timing. With my SO being in her mid-30s, she is antsy to get married and start a family, whereas I am pretty much closed to that while I am in medical school and residency because I want to focus on my career goals.
I certainly agree that it is more than fair for her to want those things. However, I think it is fair for me, being in my mid 20s and working for the past 3 years to get into medical school, to want to be involved in my classes, extracuriculars, and use my little bit of free time to exercise and do other things. Basically, I am not overly concerned with a relationship at this point.
In sum, I am not planning on my relationship lasting. However, since my SO will never talk with me about our issues, I need to let things go as they are and once school starts she will just sort of see that it is not going to work. I just do not really know how to best handle this situation. Am I a bad person for letting this go on until it gets to the point where my SO finally realizes what I have been trying so hard to talk about and discuss? I truly do care for her, but we are just in different places and the timing is not right. I am just not sure what the best way to handle things is.
Anytime I try bringing it up my SO does not want to talk about it. It is even more of an issue because she refuses to set specific times to talk. On top of that, at the moment I do 75%+ of the traveling to her and she rarely comes to me. Next year once school starts I will not have the money or time to make those drives, so she would have to be doing the majority of the driving, which she has been reluctant to do thus far. Also, she will be in school full time as well, so her time will be rather limited also.
One of the biggest issues is timing. With my SO being in her mid-30s, she is antsy to get married and start a family, whereas I am pretty much closed to that while I am in medical school and residency because I want to focus on my career goals.
I certainly agree that it is more than fair for her to want those things. However, I think it is fair for me, being in my mid 20s and working for the past 3 years to get into medical school, to want to be involved in my classes, extracuriculars, and use my little bit of free time to exercise and do other things. Basically, I am not overly concerned with a relationship at this point.
In sum, I am not planning on my relationship lasting. However, since my SO will never talk with me about our issues, I need to let things go as they are and once school starts she will just sort of see that it is not going to work. I just do not really know how to best handle this situation. Am I a bad person for letting this go on until it gets to the point where my SO finally realizes what I have been trying so hard to talk about and discuss? I truly do care for her, but we are just in different places and the timing is not right. I am just not sure what the best way to handle things is.
You are too easy. I knew you would get all over that.....
