PhD/PsyD Baby before internship?

[Strawberry08482]

After reading some of the old threads, I was wondering if anyone has had a baby the summer before starting internship. I've been with my partner for a while and was planning on waiting until after graduation to have kids but the more I plan for my future career it seems like there is never a great time for a new baby (postdoc, first job, etc.). I will be finishing my coursework this semester and have already proposed my diss. I also feel like I am at a good place with hours and research. Any thoughts? I would be applying next fall.

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[deleted343839]

You're right. There is never a great time. I had a baby the fall I applied for internship (hence the user name). I know people who have had babies during internship, even. There are pros and cons to starting a family while still in grad school but IMO it can be done in the later years if you have support. Feel free to PM.

 

[deleted760483]

After reading some of the old threads, I was wondering if anyone has had a baby the summer before starting internship. I've been with my partner for a while and was planning on waiting until after graduation to have kids but the more I plan for my future career it seems like there is never a great time for a new baby (postdoc, first job, etc.). I will be finishing my coursework this semester and have already proposed my diss. I also feel like I am at a good place with hours and research. Any thoughts? I would be applying next fall.

My son was 18 months old by the time I started internship. Most days he was a welcome distraction and a breath of fresh air after the work day.

 

[erg923]

After reading some of the old threads, I was wondering if anyone has had a baby the summer before starting internship. I've been with my partner for a while and was planning on waiting until after graduation to have kids but the more I plan for my future career it seems like there is never a great time for a new baby (postdoc, first job, etc.). I will be finishing my coursework this semester and have already proposed my diss. I also feel like I am at a good place with hours and research. Any thoughts? I would be applying next fall.

Personal decision. I would argue there are certainly better times than others, and I am glad i was past EPPP and well into post doc (uncertain factor at play) before it happened.

That said, trying we were trying before that and Catholic, so there is no birth control. Just discipline.

 

[deleted106747]

There is definitely no good time. I would recommend maybe waiting until you're a bit into internship to get pregnant, at least a few months. I think one of the harder transitions is from graduate school to what is essentially full-time work. I thought it would be easier than it was, but I was pretty tired my first few internship months. I had my first baby about a year after starting my first job, which was a pretty good time to do it, I think - much less stressful than internship and fellowship in part because the evaluation process didn't feel as steep as I was no longer a student.

 

[Strawberry08482]

Thanks all for your perspectives, they are so appreciated!

I have thought about the EPPP but that might also depend on where I get settled (and how many if any additional hours I would need accumulate before taking it). I could, if data collection goes according to plan (and that might be saying a lot), be done with my dissertation before leaving for internship as well.

 

[CApsych]

mine was 2 when I started internship and it's been a hard year balance wise with a little one, but I'm glad I had a kiddo during the end part of dissertation and internship. Really gives you perspective. I really have to rely on support from other caregivers though, which in the Bay Area means spending more than my internship stipend on childcare alone. If you are going to have one before, I'd shoot fr having one ASAP so that they are a little older when you go, if only to avoid combining your physical recovery with the start of internship (if you are birthing the kid, or intense sleep deprivation if you are the partner). Kids are the pretty great, and whenever you have them, you will work it out.

 

[bmedclinic]

Personal decision. I would argue there are certainly better times than others, and I am glad i was past EPPP and well into post doc (uncertain factor at play) before it happened.

That said, trying we were trying before that and Catholic, so there is no birth control. Just discipline.

likewise, minus the catholicism aspect. Very grateful to have EPPP out of the way so that I can could just enjoy my son. And how much fun/learning/terrifying it's been. Wouldnt change the timing of it though.

 

[PsyDSoccerMom]

I had my two children before internship and finished my dissertation and graduated when they were toddlers. While it was extremely challenging and exhausting, I managed to do it. Family support is a major factor. If you have a hands on spouse/partner as well as grandparents or extended family, you're going to need them. Personal tenacity and discipline is also key. Having kids did lengthen the process a bit as it might take you twice as long as someone who might not have children. I graduated in 2007 and am just getting around to getting fully licensed (I'm a horrible test taker). My kids are now 12 & 13. I'm in my early 40's and am extremely happy even thought it was hard on the front end. By the time they go to college, I'll still be in my 40's and have another 20 years to go in my career. I know women who waited to finish graduate school, get licensed, then have kids in their mid to late 30's. I don't know how old you are but it's easier to chase toddlers and young ones when you are younger yourself! This is just my opinion from my experience. It was hard but I wouldn't change a thing.

 

[NY-Psych-Dream]

I agree with what every else has said. There is no great time to have kids, but yes, there are better times.

I had my daughter right before my 4th year. I had just taken my oral exams and needed to do one more year of practicum. She's turning 2 right before I start internship. Luckily, dad will take care of her while we search for childcare.

One thing to take into consideration - You don't know how you will do during pregnancy, delivery, and postpartum. My pregnancy was hard. I was sick every day and couldn't eat all 9.5 months, lost 35 pounds during my pregnancy. I couldn't work on dissertation or really do much during my practicum. However, delivery and postpartum were very easy and after 8 weeks I started my practicum. While I was pregnant, I was working in an intensive outpatient program for prenatal and postpartum women. Some had the best pregnancies and the most difficult deliveries or a difficult recovery postpartum. Just something to keep in mind.

 

[Oh the Irony]

For what it's worth, my husband and I found out we were pregnant one month after I started post-doc and he was just starting internship in another state. I ended up applying for jobs in his city, got one, and resigned from my postdoc. I'm very happy to say that, despite the chaos and sudden change in plans, it could not have worked out better. I ended up in the exact position I would have applied for after post-doc and got to spend the majority of my pregnancy with my husband. I am now 4 months into my first job, 9 months pregnant, and taking the EPPP on Monday. So, while it may never seem ideal, things tend to work out (at least they did for me).

 

[spector0]

There's never more time or more money, as the saying goes. Our first child was 4 months when I started graduate school, and our second is now 4 weeks. It hasn't been easy (especially for my spouse, who is primary caregiver), we didn't want to wait until the hypothetical (and illusory) "right time". By the time I'm licensed, my kids will be in school and my wife will be able to return to work if she wants. Ymmv

 

[CheetahGirl]

Agreed, there is never the perfect time to have children - you just have to dive in and embrace the challenges.

I had my 4th child in my 4th year (I began my program with a preschooler and toddler, and had my third along the way too, then had my youngest the spring before internship). I was trying to power on through, but this was A LOT for me to handle (plus dissertation, which is like a birthing a baby in it's own right), so I took a year off and worked on dissertation (which I still did not complete until after internship because data collection was S L O W). I have always had a ton of support from my mom and husband during my doctoral program (my mom would come up and live with us for months at a time), so I was ready to handle internship when I tackled it with the additional support of a nanny who worked with us full-time (I actually thanked her in my dissertation acknowledgements because the bond she developed with my kids is endearing & invaluable). On internship, I was at a VA site, which was the best deal ever because I was out by 4:30pm on most days (as opposed to some other sites that require you to leave when the work is done, 6-7pm), and could be home for our family dinners each evening.

I would recommend coming up with a plan but also not beating yourself up if that plan does not go as you wished. And when you do have your little bundle, remember that there is nothing more important than you and your bundle for that first month postpartum (at the very least) IMO, especially with the first baby. Plan to put your work aside then, because the work (dissertation, internship, housework, etc.) will be there waiting for you...when you're ready. Guaranteed.

And things do ebb and flow, and all the hard work should pay off when it's said and done. I'm satisfied with how it has for me, and that's a good, intrinsic feeling.

Good luck!