Can I say this in a secondary?

[sallyhasanidea]

DO NOT QUOTE

I want to say that I have volunteered with medically underserved populations, primarily through tutoring students, and this allowed me exposure to some of the obstacles they face in accessing healthcare like being uninsured and not having insurance.

Does this sound petty because I bring in tutoring to the MEDICALLY underserved populations? (they were educationally underserved too, but is unrelated to the prompt)

this is a small, 250 word why X school essay

Essentially the school has a clinic that services the underserved, and I wanted to say i wanted to be involved in that clinic because I've worked with underserved populations for many years, mostly through education.

That was my entire point, and then I move on to the next thing that appeals to me at the school. Do you think this is acceptable given the character limit and topic?

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[Crayola227]

mmmm I would not try to use that as your medically underserved spiel

I would focus on tutoring, educationally underserved, then you could throw in they were medically underserved as well and say a line about that

I'm just thinking key thing here is not to oversell it, and right now it sounds oversold

 

[sallyhasanidea]

mmmm I would not try to use that as your medically underserved spiel

I would focus on tutoring, educationally underserved, then you could throw in they were medically underserved as well and say a line about that

I'm just thinking key thing here is not to oversell it, and right now it sounds oversold

hmm... the thing is this is a small, 250 word why X school essay

Essentially the school has a clinic that services the underserved, and I wanted to say i wanted to be involved in that clinic because I've worked with underserved populations for many years, mostly through education.

That was my entire point, and then I move on to the next thing that appeals to me at the school. Do you think this is acceptable given the character limit and topic?

 

[samac]

Tutoring has nothing to do with the medically underserved. I would say there is no correlation and pick another topic.