Character assassination, need advice please!

[mike1234594]

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[Rogert]

Hello Everyone, I want to take the opportunity today to talk about a social issue that many people especially premeds find intimidating. I hope I can get a wise advice.
We all have this friend who is categorized as a "gossiper", who talks and back stabs his friends when not present to defend themselves. This is often defined as character assassination.
I am a college student, 21, and I have this friend who I've known since my freshman year. We weren't that close during the first two years where he sounded as a very friendly person who understands the meaning of friendship. After getting to know that person on deeper levels, however, I realized that he is not what I thought at first. I realized that this person is very judgmental. He judges everyone he meets based on how they look and what they say. He analyzes everyone he meets and tries to interpret their intentions and talks about how self-conscious these people are. This guy is a pro-stalker.He stalked and analyzed every student I knew on campus, and what makes it worse is that he is not ashamed of admitting it.This might sound as trolling, but no, this is reality. Why am I saying all this? Because this guy tried to put me down before my MCAT by telling me that I am not going to do well, and when I didn't do as I expected "my score was average", I saw happiness in his eyes, he told everyone that I didn't do well. However, this guy was helpful and supportive in many different situations and I do consider him as a good person deep inside.
I am writing this because what happened today was very intimidating and nerve racking for me. Well, I was out with my friends couple of days ago, and I got really drunk. One of my drunk mutual friends recorded my confessions and sent them to that guy, "Our best friend". What surprised me is that he analyzed every chunk of what I said and applied his Freudian theories on it and started telling my friends that those confessions are lies and that its all in my subconscious, although those confessions were true,though a bit embarrassing, lol. What annoys me the most out of all of what I said, is that all of my friends believe what he says and it is pissing me off. How do you guys think I should act or what decision should I come up with. I don't really want to confront him because I don't really consider him as a "best friend" any more.
I do apologize for his long thread, I kinda did let everything out, haha. Thank you in advance guys.

Sounds like you've got some pretty crappy friends. Just tell 'em to piss off.

 

[Mad Jack]

Your friends suck. This particular person sucks even more. He sounds like a creeper I knew back in the day that damn near completely ruined my life. Most people are good, deep down, but there are those that are like venomous snakes, and it is only a matter of time before they turn their fangs on you. While you may initially feel like some sort of exception to their behavior, you'll one day find yourself on the wrong end of their actions- cut this friend out of your life if you know what's good for you.

 

[V5RED]

Thank you guys, this is what I think as well, but how? I mean, should I cut all of those people out of my life or how should I deal with it? We have been friends for so long, like we shared personal stories and secrets, they are not just "colleagues." I don't want to confront that guy anyways either, as I said I don't consider him a "best friend" anymore. Do you guys think that my mutual friend should have recorded what I said when I was super drunk, like is it normal?
Btw when I said he stalks people, I meant on Facebook and other social media and not in person.

Recording you while drunk and passing it to others are both immature actions. I doubt that whoever sent him the recording was unaware of how he was likely to use it, so the actions are also malevolent. Whether or not it is normal to be immature and malevolent, I would not want people like that in my life and I would certainly not drink with such people again if I did not cut them out.

 

[TorMed]

You need new friends. Seriously. These "friends" you describe sound soul-destroying. In addition to all the biochem I learned in 4 years of college, I also learned that at least 75% of people I had thought of as friends in college were merely people I knew, not friends. Friends don't record drunken confessions. Friends aren't happy you did not as well as you had hoped on the MCAT.

It takes time to build new friendships. Give it time.

Sorry you are having such a ****ty time.

 

[medshoes]

Something similar that happened to me is with my ex. My ex is very judgmental as well, and when we broke up and I asked him what could I have done better, he sent me a list of things he thought were wrong with me and that annoyed him. It dashed my spirits for a couple of days, but ultimately, after talking to my close friends, they told me that what one person thinks about you isn't what another person is going to think about you. What people say are what they think, but what they think doesn't matter, because it's their opinion and not necessarily true. People's perceptions are subjective. so you have to remember that, and ultimately you have to remember you know yourself more than other people know you, after all you've been with you for your entire life, and other people haven't. And have confidence in who you are, that's important.