- Joined
- Jun 23, 2003
- Messages
- 15,455
- Reaction score
- 6,725
I haven't indulged you in a good Christmas rant in a while.
You really can't get away from it. This **** gets worse and worse every year. I go to Walmart last night because it was the only place open, I **** you not, there is this Muslim lady wearing full on hijab...she's got a freaking Santa hat on top of it. Mother****. Can someone tell me if that's Halal for Christ's sake? If you're going to bend the rules, do something worthwhile like eating a half rack of St Louis Ribs. Don't give in to them and wear Xmas garb. I hope Allah smites you.
Then I go out to eat last night. Little hole in the wall Indian restaurant down the road. I've got Vishnu over in the corner with an many arms as reasons I ****ing hate Christmas and I still can't get away from this damned holiday. There's a little speaker above it in the ceiling. Carol of the Bells starts playing over their system. Thankfully for them they make good chicken, so I'll let it slide, but a casual, understated "go to hell" is appropriate, I think.
I thought Christians were annoying enough, but can't the rest of you religious nutcases bring some solidarity with me? Don't cave to these dinguses.
But I do have things to be grateful for.
I got laid off. Which means that I don't have to drive by that ***** on Butler Pk whose light display literally shuts the road down and makes me 5 minutes late for work every night. So that's good. I still hope he has an electrical fire and his house burns down.
I'm going to this Thai joint in this strip mall in Blue Bell here in a few hours. Its the only place open that isn't a Chinese buffet. Its delicious, but every time I go in there, they are playing this weird, remotely Asian sounding rendition of the Titanic soundtrack. The food is so damn good that I make concessions for the **** music. I sat there eating drunken noodles with earbuds in one time. I'm going to enjoy my erhu-laden rendition of My Heart Will Go On tonight, though. Because at least it isn't Jingle Bells.
At least I still have the good Jewish people. They really are the best. The best. They actually believe in traditions that matter. They are opening their movie theaters and graciously allowing me to watch a Tarantino movie after my nice Thai dinner. My hats off to them.
Oh and the thing I'm the most grateful for? At the stroke of midnight, its going to be 365 days (Woo! Leap year!) until this stupid holiday again. I don't have to listen to everyone's fake cheerfulness, the slavery to capitalism, the ****ty holiday specials on TV, etc, etc.
I hope your Christmas ham gives you trichinosis, your children's stupid presents all break, your uncle Larry gets a DUI, and that you hope to never celebrate another Christmas again. Because **** Christmas. And **** all of you.
You really can't get away from it. This **** gets worse and worse every year. I go to Walmart last night because it was the only place open, I **** you not, there is this Muslim lady wearing full on hijab...she's got a freaking Santa hat on top of it. Mother****. Can someone tell me if that's Halal for Christ's sake? If you're going to bend the rules, do something worthwhile like eating a half rack of St Louis Ribs. Don't give in to them and wear Xmas garb. I hope Allah smites you.
Then I go out to eat last night. Little hole in the wall Indian restaurant down the road. I've got Vishnu over in the corner with an many arms as reasons I ****ing hate Christmas and I still can't get away from this damned holiday. There's a little speaker above it in the ceiling. Carol of the Bells starts playing over their system. Thankfully for them they make good chicken, so I'll let it slide, but a casual, understated "go to hell" is appropriate, I think.
I thought Christians were annoying enough, but can't the rest of you religious nutcases bring some solidarity with me? Don't cave to these dinguses.
But I do have things to be grateful for.
I got laid off. Which means that I don't have to drive by that ***** on Butler Pk whose light display literally shuts the road down and makes me 5 minutes late for work every night. So that's good. I still hope he has an electrical fire and his house burns down.
I'm going to this Thai joint in this strip mall in Blue Bell here in a few hours. Its the only place open that isn't a Chinese buffet. Its delicious, but every time I go in there, they are playing this weird, remotely Asian sounding rendition of the Titanic soundtrack. The food is so damn good that I make concessions for the **** music. I sat there eating drunken noodles with earbuds in one time. I'm going to enjoy my erhu-laden rendition of My Heart Will Go On tonight, though. Because at least it isn't Jingle Bells.
At least I still have the good Jewish people. They really are the best. The best. They actually believe in traditions that matter. They are opening their movie theaters and graciously allowing me to watch a Tarantino movie after my nice Thai dinner. My hats off to them.
Oh and the thing I'm the most grateful for? At the stroke of midnight, its going to be 365 days (Woo! Leap year!) until this stupid holiday again. I don't have to listen to everyone's fake cheerfulness, the slavery to capitalism, the ****ty holiday specials on TV, etc, etc.
I hope your Christmas ham gives you trichinosis, your children's stupid presents all break, your uncle Larry gets a DUI, and that you hope to never celebrate another Christmas again. Because **** Christmas. And **** all of you.
WVU, what are you going to do next?
