College has been the worst two years of my life so far?

[Dayaa]

It's worse than the abuse I faced as a kid when I had to sleep on the floor of my bathroom and so many other horrible times in my life.
I have terrible grades and I hate to be that person, but high school was challenging, but I did very well. I don't understand why I'm the stupidest in classes full of equal students who all had similar stats when getting in. I've done so bad these last two years and I just want to go back and do it all over, but I can't.
Even if I do well from now on, what difference does it make when I ****ed up my first two years so much?​

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[Mad Jack]

I think you need to chill for a second and reevaluate your situation. How bad are your grades? Are you performing poorly in school because of anxiety and stress, or because of the material itself? What could you do differently moving forward to improve your grades?

If you've wrecked the first two years of school and are below a 2.5, you've probably tanked your MD chances, but DO is a very real possibility. You might even want to think about whether medicine might be the right path for you at this point in your life, as the abuse you face in undergrad is paltry compared to that you will come to know in residency.

 

[Lucca]

Take a break from college. Seek the help of a mental health counselor and an academic advisor and come up with a plan to better equip you to succeed once you come back. It sounds like college isn't what you need right now. If you have any support system you should seek them out. Perhaps find a way to have gainful employment for a year off. It's still possible to succeed but perhaps trying to push through it when it's obviously not working is not the best plan of attack.


Please see a mental health professional and seek the assistance of your school's learning center

 

[acslater99]

One of the best things I have done in my life is take a gap year once I graduated high school. Not only was I prepared once I began classes but I was more focused and worked harder than ever.

I agree with Lucca, take a break from college refresh your mind.

 

[mizzu]

Abuse? How is college abusing you? I think you are emotionally abusing yourself.

Ps. Why did you sleep in the bathroom. My cat sleeps in the bathroom and she likes it there (on top of a heater vent)

 

[Goro]

Counseling, stat.

It's worse than the abuse I faced as a kid when I had to sleep on the floor of my bathroom and so many other horrible times in my life.
I have terrible grades and I hate to be that person, but high school was challenging, but I did very well. I don't understand why I'm the stupidest in classes full of equal students who all had similar stats when getting in. I've done so bad these last two years and I just want to go back and do it all over, but I can't.
Even if I do well from now on, what difference does it make when I ****** up my first two years so much?​

 

[listener23]

Abuse? How is college abusing you? I think you are emotionally abusing yourself.

Ps. Why did you sleep in the bathroom. My cat sleeps in the bathroom and she likes it there (on top of a heater vent)

Stop giving advice

 

[Dayaa]

Abuse? How is college abusing you? I think you are emotionally abusing yourself.

Ps. Why did you sleep in the bathroom. My cat sleeps in the bathroom and she likes it there (on top of a heater vent)

To hide from my dad.

 

[Dayaa]

I think you need to chill for a second and reevaluate your situation. How bad are your grades? Are you performing poorly in school because of anxiety and stress, or because of the material itself? What could you do differently moving forward to improve your grades?

If you've wrecked the first two years of school and are below a 2.5, you've probably tanked your MD chances, but DO is a very real possibility. You might even want to think about whether medicine might be the right path for you at this point in your life, as the abuse you face in undergrad is paltry compared to that you will come to know in residency.

Anxiety and stress. I have never gotten above average in a science class and with math classes, it's not even a 3.0. I want MD, but I don't think MD or DO is an option because I can't retake classes anyways. It's too expensive and I get 4 years of financial aid from my school who provides great aid.

 

[solitarius]

I think you have two options here. One is to explore a non-health career. The other is to plan for a post-bac in the future at a cheaper school when it is feasible. If it's the latter, would advise you go non-science and even fluff up the course load to minimize the future GPA repair. Anyway, jack himself is an older post bac to DO guy, so it is possible.

 

[Dayaa]

I think you have two options here. One is to explore a non-health career. The other is to plan for a post-bac in the future at a cheaper school when it is feasible. If it's the latter, would advise you go non-science and even fluff up the course load to minimize the future GPA repair. Anyway, jack himself is an older post bac to DO guy, so it is possible.

The problem is English isn't my first language and I always preferred science classes. In high school, it was where I excelled. I don't get great grades in non-science courses either.

 

[solitarius]

The problem is English isn't my first language and I always preferred science classes. In high school, it was where I excelled. I don't get great grades in non-science courses either.

Are there any courses you excel at? Anyway, I think you should visit your school's counseling and tutoring centers to identify / address any academically related deficiencies or emotional issues.


FWIW, I disliked college for different reasons. The college experience tends to over promise and under-deliver for some people.

 

[MedWonk]

It's worse than the abuse I faced as a kid when I had to sleep on the floor of my bathroom and so many other horrible times in my life.
I have terrible grades and I hate to be that person, but high school was challenging, but I did very well. I don't understand why I'm the stupidest in classes full of equal students who all had similar stats when getting in. I've done so bad these last two years and I just want to go back and do it all over, but I can't.
Even if I do well from now on, what difference does it make when I ****** up my first two years so much?​

Take a break from school for a year or two. I think we all get pushed into going to college right after high school whether or not it's the best decision for us. I know that I would've taken better advantage of what college had to offer if I had taken a couple years off first.

 

[amazing tekkers]

The problem is English isn't my first language and I always preferred science classes. In high school, it was where I excelled. I don't get great grades in non-science courses either.

How's your GPA looking? Are you a URM?

 

[Mr Interesting]

You are definitely not alone op. There is a lot of good advice on here but I highly implore you to start with counseling with the school and a mental health professional. Trust me, all is not lost there are still some viable options out there. However, lets work on the root of the problem first, then the other problems one step at a time.

There's seems to be a lot of threads like this recently which is why I asked the good folks who write the articles on here to write two new articles. (http://forums.studentdoctor.net/thr...dical-school-applicant.1068903/#post-15218810)

1. Strengthening self-esteem and improving self confidence while maintaining your mental health during the
semester
2. Study tips and tricks for the pre-reqs

If any of you guys have any other suggestions for articles that can help let the authors know. They seem really nice and receptive to suggestions.

 

[Dayaa]

You are definitely not alone op. There is a lot of good advice on here but I highly implore you to start with counseling with the school and a mental health professional. Trust me, all is not lost there are still some viable options out there. However, lets work on the root of the problem first, then the other problems one step at a time.

There's seems to be a lot of threads like this recently which is why I asked the good folks who write the articles on here to write two new articles. (http://forums.studentdoctor.net/thr...dical-school-applicant.1068903/#post-15218810)

1. Strengthening self-esteem and improving self confidence while maintaining your mental health during the
semester
2. Study tips and tricks for the pre-reqs

If any of you guys have any other suggestions for articles that can help let the authors know. They seem really nice and receptive to suggestions.

The material is too hard for me. I'm not used to opening a book and learning myself. I'm used to a teacher teaching me and then doing work based on it.

 

[Frostbite22]

I agree with seeing a mental health counselor and I might also suggest taking a year to a few years off. My SO did horrible for a year and a half and dropped out. Explored the real world and went back in with a completely different attitude. Now he is a successful engineer. Same with my sister, she's an awesome accountant now, but needed to step back and re-evaluate things. First step is to seek help.

 

[Dayaa]

I agree with seeing a mental health counselor and I might also suggest taking a year to a few years off. My SO did horrible for a year and a half and dropped out. Explored the real world and went back in with a completely different attitude. Now he is a successful engineer. Same with my sister, she's an awesome accountant now, but needed to step back and re-evaluate things. First step is to seek help.

I'm in the process but since I don't pay full for school, I don't have that option unless I want to pay quadruple when I come back.

 

[Boolean]

The material is too hard for me. I'm not used to opening a book and learning myself. I'm used to a teacher teaching me and then doing work based on it.

Unfortunately this is not how higher education really works in the US. Likewise, if you cannot adapt medical school will be near impossible.

 

[Dayaa]

Unfortunately this is not how higher education really works in the US. Likewise, if you cannot adapt medical school will be near impossible.

Thanks, because I obviously didn't know that...

 

[mizzu]

Stop giving advice

How am I giving advise?

He's emotionally abusing himself by telling himself negative thoughts rather than finding help and thinking of the positive outcomes.

 

[Dayaa]

How am I giving advise?

He's emotionally abusing himself by telling himself negative thoughts rather than finding help and thinking of the positive outcomes.

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[Mad Jack]

Thanks, because I obviously didn't know that...

In high school, teachers teach you information in spoon-fed, easy to digest bits. In college, professors provide you materials from which to learn and them teach you how to teach yourself the material. High school prepares you to work for others, essentially, while college prepares you to think and work for yourself.

The only thing that makes your dreams impossible is your attitude toward your situation at this point. Language skills are weak? Work on them. Study skills aren't as strong as they should be? Work with a school tutor. Don't understand the material? Office hours. Low GPA and post-college budget? Grade replacement, go DO, and take your replacement courses at the cheapest institution possible part-time (community college or state school). You need to address several issues, your self esteem not least among them. It will be a lot of extremely difficult work- I leave it to you to determine if being a physician is worth the extra time and effort given your circumstances.

 

[youmed]

First of all, accept that you are the stupidest among your peers. Then, figure out a way to climb your way to the top. I think accepting that you are below average is really important in your case. You feel terrible when you perform below average because you think of yourself to be equal to others and think of your high school days when you did well. You need to throw away that mindset before you do anything.

 

[Dayaa]

First of all, accept that you are the stupidest among your peers. Then, figure out a way to climb your way to the top. I think accepting that you are below average is really important in your case. You feel terrible when you perform below average because you think of yourself to be equal to others and think of your high school days when you did well. You need to throw away that mindset before you do anything.

Well I don't think I'm the same as my peers. Considering my peers were all valedictorians and 2400s, I know I'm stupider than them from the beginning. So I think it's the opposite. I should believe in myself more...

 

[Dayaa]

In high school, teachers teach you information in spoon-fed, easy to digest bits. In college, professors provide you materials from which to learn and them teach you how to teach yourself the material. High school prepares you to work for others, essentially, while college prepares you to think and work for yourself.

The only thing that makes your dreams impossible is your attitude toward your situation at this point. Language skills are weak? Work on them. Study skills aren't as strong as they should be? Work with a school tutor. Don't understand the material? Office hours. Low GPA and post-college budget? Grade replacement, go DO, and take your replacement courses at the cheapest institution possible part-time (community college or state school). You need to address several issues, your self esteem not least among them. It will be a lot of extremely difficult work- I leave it to you to determine if being a physician is worth the extra time and effort given your circumstances.

Very true and I know I need to build my self-esteem. I wish it was an easier process.

 

[Drrrrrr. Celty]

The material is too hard for me. I'm not used to opening a book and learning myself. I'm used to a teacher teaching me and then doing work based on it.

In high school you learned something on Monday and then you spent the next 2 days practicing that. In college you learned on monday what you learned in a week of high school. That's a big difference, you're going to have to be proactive and plan time to study. You are also going to want to make friends with people who will practice with you the material.

Now the material of college really should not be difficult for you. Largely with adequate foundations the material is very doable and with a decent amount of practice can be triumphed over. That being said, the mindset you're in makes a huge difference. If you're not motivated, if you possess a self-defeating attitude then you will suffer as your mind will pull you to all ends of the universe and split your attention. This produces an enormously negative effect and will destroy your gpa and ability to preform well.

SO what can I say? You need to take time off or talk with your school and see if they can help you decelerate a little. Take a few easy classes so that you can show yourself that you're able to adjust to school well and succeed and march on with new found confidence. Largely the issue is not that people aren't smart enough to succeed. It's that they are destroyed when by the end of the first year, that they feel like they cannot even keep up at all.

On top of that it may also be a good idea to seek some counseling in regards to your previous abuse as it may play a role in your performance now and other aspects of your life. Keeping your mind healthy is as important ( and likely will cause the same effect) as keeping somatic organ systems healthy.

 

[Drrrrrr. Celty]

Well I don't think I'm the same as my peers. Considering my peers were all valedictorians and 2400s, I know I'm stupider than them from the beginning. So I think it's the opposite. I should believe in myself more...

I came into college with actually a previously awful track record. I genuinely didn't care in high school outside of paying attention to material I found personally interesting and did the minimal. I graduated middle of my class and with a relatively mediocre sat. That being said out of my class in my university where almost everyone went, I probably have one of the highest gpas and performances. So really, let go of the past and move forward. You're strong enough to make it.

 

[listener23]

How am I giving advise?

He's emotionally abusing himself by telling himself negative thoughts rather than finding help and thinking of the positive outcomes.

Than you proceeded to compare her sleeping on the bathroom floor to your cat sleeping on the bathroom floor. You sir are an out of touch pre-med incapable of understanding real life issues...

 

[youmed]

It's worse than the abuse I faced as a kid when I had to sleep on the floor of my bathroom and so many other horrible times in my life.
I have terrible grades and I hate to be that person, but high school was challenging, but I did very well. I don't understand why I'm the stupidest in classes full of equal students who all had similar stats when getting in. I've done so bad these last two years and I just want to go back and do it all over, but I can't.
Even if I do well from now on, what difference does it make when I ****** up my first two years so much?​

I simply replied based off of what you stated earlier.

 

[Dayaa]

I simply replied based off of what you stated earlier.

Sorry, I meant we're all supposed to be equal since there isn't much of a range, but I feel like I clearly am below everyone.

 

[mizzu]

Than you proceeded to compare him sleeping on the bathroom floor to your cat sleeping on the bathroom floor. You sir are an out of touch pre-med incapable of understanding real life issues...

Uh no. First, I'm female, second, what makes you think I have no real life issues? Ps. I came from a family of 6 that had an income of 35k throughout my elementary schooling - sharing a bedroom with 2 to a twin bed and four to a room. My first job was at a friend's family restaurant at age of 7 to help pay for rent. I don't know what he goes through but at least I don't judge.

I asked because perhaps his family could not afford to heat up the house and would stay in the bathroom. My bathroom is the only place that heats up above 70 deg in winter.

Furthermore, I never said anything to bash him. He is calling himself stupid - that is emotional abuse to himself or his self esteem. It isn't college that is abusing him...

 

[Dayaa]

Uh no. First, I'm female, second, what makes you think I have no real life issues? Ps. I came from a family of 6 that had an income of 35k throughout my elementary schooling - sharing a bedroom with 2 to a twin bed and four to a room. My first job was at a friend's family restaurant at age of 7 to help pay for rent. I don't know what he goes through but at least I don't judge.

I asked because perhaps his family could not afford to heat up the house and would stay in the bathroom. My bathroom is the only place that heats up above 70 deg in winter.

Furthermore, I never said anything to bash him. He is calling himself stupid - that is emotional abuse to himself or his self esteem. It isn't college that is abusing him...

How would having a low income, which caused me sleep on the bathroom floor, be considered abuse? Also, I am a female if you couldn't tell by now. Lastly, the bathroom floor was tile and very cold.

 

[mizzu]

How would having a low income, which made me sleep on the bathroom floor, be considered abuse? Also, I am a female if you couldn't tell by now. Lastly, the bathroom floor was tile and very cold.

the heater vent was what my kitty liked the best.

You said in your first post that "it's worst than the abuse you went through as a kid sleeping in the bathroom". I never said that was abuse.

You did say college was abusing you - but colleges cannot physically abuse you, emotionally abuse you, or mentally abuse you. People there may or you could do it to yourself. The point being is that if you need help, you should seek professional help. I know at my school we have mental help/support.

 

[listener23]

the heater vent was what my kitty liked the best.

You said in your first post that "it's worst than the abuse you went through as a kid sleeping in the bathroom". I never said that was abuse.

You did say college was abusing you - but colleges cannot physically abuse you, emotionally abuse you, or mentally abuse you. People there may or you could do it to yourself. The point being is that if you need help, you should seek professional help. I know at my school we have mental help/support.

please stop "helping"

 

[terp720]

the heater vent was what my kitty liked the best.

You said in your first post that "it's worst than the abuse you went through as a kid sleeping in the bathroom". I never said that was abuse.

You did say college was abusing you - but colleges cannot physically abuse you, emotionally abuse you, or mentally abuse you. People there may or you could do it to yourself. The point being is that if you need help, you should seek professional help. I know at my school we have mental help/support.

sorry to jump in.. but i think the issue is the constant comparison to your cat.. just because your cat likes warm things (most cats do) doesn't mean it makes sense to draw the same conclusion. I don't think it's coming off in the way you want it to.

 

[Dayaa]

the heater vent was what my kitty liked the best.

You said in your first post that "it's worst than the abuse you went through as a kid sleeping in the bathroom". I never said that was abuse.

You did say college was abusing you - but colleges cannot physically abuse you, emotionally abuse you, or mentally abuse you. People there may or you could do it to yourself. The point being is that if you need help, you should seek professional help. I know at my school we have mental help/support.

Abuse-> physical and metal -> sleep on bathroom floor. Happy? Sorry what I wrote didn't come off the way I wanted it to. No one else seemed to have a problem understanding.

And I never said college is abusing me. I said the experience is worse than the abuse I faced.

 

[mizzu]

sorry to jump in.. but i think the issue is the constant comparison to your cat.. just because your cat likes warm things (most cats do) doesn't mean it makes sense to draw the same conclusion. I don't think it's coming off in the way you want it to.

I like hanging out in my bathroom during the winter months... And I only compared it to my cat once, then I had to explain it.

I never wrote "helping".

W/e - OP can keep telling herself that she is stupid - I am sure that will be very helpful

 

[Dayaa]

I like hanging out in my bathroom during the winter months... And I only compared it to my cat once, then I had to explain it.

I never wrote "helping".

W/e - OP can keep telling herself that she is stupid - I am sure that will be very helpful

Because your posts were very helpful.

 

[coffeesnob]

Hey. You are probably not stupid. I think everything boils down to your learning techniques and discipline. Analyze what questions you are getting wrong on the tests, analyze how to make your study more effective and efficient, ask students who are doing well how they study. Seek out learning resources at your school. There is gotta be some free tutors. Talk to professors. Be active about this.

This will never end. You need to figure out how to learn. If you don't learn that in college, you will not survive in medical school (if you get in).

Seek help if you are depressed.

Honestly ask yourself how you want to go into medicine. If you would do anything else in life, do that instead.

 

[mizzu]

Thanks, because I obviously didn't know that...

You aren't really taking advise from others either...

 

[Dayaa]

You aren't really taking advise from others either...

He told me that medical school is harder than college? I think that's why I posted this. If I didn't know that, I would have gone to my state school or anywhere else I would be "the best". That is why I chose to challenge myself in undergrad.

 

[mizzu]

Then challenge your self... Challenges aren't meant to be a breeze. Of course you would be humbled and possibly feel stupid. What good does that do if you just lay there in self pity?

Are you asking for advise or are you starting a woe me topic?

Do better in your last two years (and I mean 3.8+), retake pre req and apply for DO. Do a post-bac if you still want MD. And stop telling yourself that you are stupid - you may not realize it, but labeling yourself as stupid is a cop out and an excuse you make so you don't have to face the real reason you are doing poorly. It is still possible.

 

[bambam92]

First of all, accept that you are the stupidest among your peers. Then, figure out a way to climb your way to the top. I think accepting that you are below average is really important in your case. You feel terrible when you perform below average because you think of yourself to be equal to others and think of your high school days when you did well. You need to throw away that mindset before you do anything.

WTF?! You sounds like a complete D-bag…

 

[amazing tekkers]

He told me that medical school is harder than college? I think that's why I posted this. If I didn't know that, I would have gone to my state school or anywhere else I would be "the best". That is why I chose to challenge myself in undergrad.

Are you at an ivy school?

 

[Dayaa]

Are you at an ivy school?

Maybe

 

[The Buff OP]

Counseling, stat.

:troll: ???

 

[Dayaa]

:troll: ???

 

[amazing tekkers]

Maybe

Well even if you're not, it's normal to struggle in college, even myself, everyday I'm wondering "what am I doing with my life", it's normal to question yourself, actions, and goals. The pre-med process or even pre-health process is not easy otherwise everyone would be doing it.

:troll: ???

Are you taking an off from school? regarding the non-student status

 

[Dayaa]

Well even if you're not, it's normal to struggle in college, even myself, everyday I'm wondering "what am I doing with my life", it's normal to question yourself, actions, and goals. The pre-med process or even pre-health process is not easy otherwise everyone would be doing it.



Are you taking an off from school? regarding the non-student status

I do go to an ivy, that's all I want to say though. I was stupid to put my name as my user ID.
But I've struggled for 2 years, not normal.