- Joined
- Nov 1, 2013
- Messages
- 11
- Reaction score
- 2
Would you say it's a pretty clear-cut sign that I should figure out something else to do with my life when I'm constantly wondering why the heck I had to choose one of the longest educational tracks that exist?
I do want to be a doctor. I do want to go to med school. But if I'm honest, I really, really don't want to spend another two or three years jumping through hoops to get there. I don't want to spend another year or longer taking freshman level undergraduate courses and stressing out over every grade because bad grades=no med school=I'm a failure. I mean, freaking general chemistry I kicked my butt this past semester. I got the A, but it cost me a lot of lost sleep and a lot of tears along the way; I studied for at least 40 hours for that final alone. I still don't feel like I know anything about chemistry. I just feel like I test well enough.
It seems like it'll be forever before I can actually begin med school because of the nature of the prerequisite coursework and application timeline, not to mention I have to wait another semester to take Physics I because the class filled up too quickly at my school. My advisor told me to forget trying to get into the class and showed me the waiting list to get into it in the Fall; it's several hundred students long.
I don't want to spend anymore time begging organizations to let me volunteer for them and begging doctors to let me shadow them. I figured it would be simple enough to find ECs and shadowing opportunities. I mean, every med school matriculate does it after all. It hasn't been easy for me. Organizations don't contact me back, and neither do doctors except occasionally to inform me they don't allow pre-meds to shadow them.
I don't want to turn down anymore good jobs because I'm in class during the hours employers would need me to work. I'm struggling financially and finally started hearing back on job applications after months of applying. Every single employer informed me they would have to find someone else because they needed me to work X specific shift, and of course I had classes during that time.
I don't want to spend another year or longer in a college town surrounded by people much younger than me who I have nothing in common with. I want to live where there are people my age and people who don't respond with, "You're *gasp* twenty-five?!" after asking me my age (this has happened on at least three occasions that I can think of off the top of my head).
The other day, I misunderstood something on my student account and thought it was saying I didn't get the summer loan I thought I was getting. My first thought was, "Aw, what a shame. Guess I'll just have to drop my classes and find a new, less obnoxious life plan now."
This entire process is just running me down. I've basically stayed with it 1) because I'm stubborn and don't like quitting things and 2) because I don't have any better plans.
I dunno. It can't be normal to resent the process this much, can it?
I do want to be a doctor. I do want to go to med school. But if I'm honest, I really, really don't want to spend another two or three years jumping through hoops to get there. I don't want to spend another year or longer taking freshman level undergraduate courses and stressing out over every grade because bad grades=no med school=I'm a failure. I mean, freaking general chemistry I kicked my butt this past semester. I got the A, but it cost me a lot of lost sleep and a lot of tears along the way; I studied for at least 40 hours for that final alone. I still don't feel like I know anything about chemistry. I just feel like I test well enough.
It seems like it'll be forever before I can actually begin med school because of the nature of the prerequisite coursework and application timeline, not to mention I have to wait another semester to take Physics I because the class filled up too quickly at my school. My advisor told me to forget trying to get into the class and showed me the waiting list to get into it in the Fall; it's several hundred students long.
I don't want to spend anymore time begging organizations to let me volunteer for them and begging doctors to let me shadow them. I figured it would be simple enough to find ECs and shadowing opportunities. I mean, every med school matriculate does it after all. It hasn't been easy for me. Organizations don't contact me back, and neither do doctors except occasionally to inform me they don't allow pre-meds to shadow them.
I don't want to turn down anymore good jobs because I'm in class during the hours employers would need me to work. I'm struggling financially and finally started hearing back on job applications after months of applying. Every single employer informed me they would have to find someone else because they needed me to work X specific shift, and of course I had classes during that time.
I don't want to spend another year or longer in a college town surrounded by people much younger than me who I have nothing in common with. I want to live where there are people my age and people who don't respond with, "You're *gasp* twenty-five?!" after asking me my age (this has happened on at least three occasions that I can think of off the top of my head).
The other day, I misunderstood something on my student account and thought it was saying I didn't get the summer loan I thought I was getting. My first thought was, "Aw, what a shame. Guess I'll just have to drop my classes and find a new, less obnoxious life plan now."
This entire process is just running me down. I've basically stayed with it 1) because I'm stubborn and don't like quitting things and 2) because I don't have any better plans.
I dunno. It can't be normal to resent the process this much, can it?