Dealing death in the personal life while on rotation

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Hope666

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The title should say "dealing with death in the personal life while on rotation"

I recently received a not so great eval but passed the rotation. This occurred after two people in my personal life passed away within 4 months of each other. The first death was in March (my roommate) and the second in May (family member). I was doing well with the first one and moving forward but the second one hit me like a ton of bricks. I didn't tell my preceptor what was going on as I wanted to just get through the rotation. Needless to say I was withdrawn the first two weeks of my rotation and tried to make up for it later (which is why I even passed).

I seriously felt at dumb as a stump. Any pimping and all I could say was I don't know. These were good preceptors but I simply was not processing. My eval reflected this as disinterested, lack of passion and general lack of knowledge. I really am not sure what to do about it. Even though I am doing better getting this eval back did feel like a kick to the stomach. Any good advice on how to discuss this with the school? When do you find time to mourn on rotation?

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Have you talked with a psychiatrist? To better deal with this?

This happens a lot, but you can't expect a preceptor to read your mind. You could apprise him now of the circumstances but I doubt he'll change it bc it just looks like you didn't like your grade. No big deal. It's one evaluation. Learn from it, but effectively deal with our personal issues so that it doesn't impact further rotations.
 
My emotional state is overall doing better. I'm seeing a counselor and dealing with it. I'm not asking the preceptor to change my grade. He graded me on a marginal performance during a difficult time when I really wasn't very present. The preceptor wasn't wrong. I really am not sure if I should even bring it up to him at this point as it really serves no purpose.

However, at my school if we receive a marginal eval/grad for a rotation they call you up to talk to you about it. They also call the preceptor. This is what I am expecting this coming week. I'll tell them what occurred and it will most likely be taken into consideration.

The real problem is that this effected my performance to a degree that can't happen again, but also two people died who I knew and cared about. What is the best way to try and mourn while at the same time having to continue rotations and perform to expectations? When is the right time to say, I can't do this right now because I need to mourn and deal with my own emotional state so that I can come back and have the capacity to make appropriate judgment calls when concerning patient care?
 
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My emotional state is overall doing better. I'm seeing a counselor and dealing with it. I'm not asking the preceptor to change my grade. He graded me on a marginal performance during a difficult time when I really wasn't very present. The preceptor wasn't wrong. I really am not sure if I should even bring it up to him at this point as it really serves no purpose.

However, at my school if we receive a marginal eval/grad for a rotation they call you up to talk to you about it. They also call the preceptor. This is what I am expecting this coming week. I'll tell them what occurred and it will most likely be taken into consideration.

The real problem is that this effected my performance to a degree that can't happen again, but also two people died who I knew and cared about. What is the best way to try and mourn while at the same time having to continue rotations and perform to expectations? When is the right time to say, I can't do this right now because I need to mourn and deal with my own emotional state so that I can come back and have the capacity to make appropriate judgment calls when concerning patient care?
If you need time to mourn, with which there is nothing wrong, you could take a temporary leave. This happens a lot and it could mitigate your stress while you recover. However, if you think you can mourn and perform well during rotations at the same time, I encourage you to do so. I also encourage you to discuss this with the preceptor or someone who you trust. Best of luck.
 
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I think you have to take a long hard look at yourself and think about whether you are emotionally stable and ready enough to continue with school at this point. If you're not, taking a break for a month (which you'll have to make up as a 4th year) isn't the end of the world, depending on your future specialty choice.
 
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No shame in taking some time off to really let whatever loss you feel or emotional trauma you have yet to let yourself experience. I got dealt a **** hand in med school when it came to death and loss, my dad died week before my fall/winter finals my first year of med school and my brother lost his brutal and exhausting 8 month fight with stage IV pancreatic Neuroendocrine carcinoma at end of October my 4th year. (Yes my brother was quite the 'zebra.' Previously healthy/no childhood syndromes/no family hx of MEN or any of the like. Presented with nonspecific debilitating abdominal pain. Dragged him to see GI doc, EGD-clear, LUQ U/S---->"we r sooo ****ed! " were word went through my head when I saw rads report of abdom US and CT. Liver looked like a Dalmatian had so many mets bilobar and diffuse as it gets. He only made it 8 months, none of rx regimens even slowed it down for a second. He was 33 and my best friend. Took care of him with my great mom and amazing extended family and friends. Home hospice for 10 days was hard but I don't regret a minute of it or the years of my life the sleep deprivation and stress melted away.

Anyway I never took time off. I pushed on through because that's what helped me keep on truckin'. Looking back I wish I had maybe started talking to a therapist or took some time off between graduation and intern year.

Still haven't gotten round to finding shrink I can actually form consistent and "more than 2 session" relationship with. But here I am in my 3rd year of residency and I honestly think it has made me a better doc.
 
My emotional state is overall doing better. I'm seeing a counselor and dealing with it. I'm not asking the preceptor to change my grade. He graded me on a marginal performance during a difficult time when I really wasn't very present. The preceptor wasn't wrong. I really am not sure if I should even bring it up to him at this point as it really serves no purpose.

However, at my school if we receive a marginal eval/grad for a rotation they call you up to talk to you about it. They also call the preceptor. This is what I am expecting this coming week. I'll tell them what occurred and it will most likely be taken into consideration.

The real problem is that this effected my performance to a degree that can't happen again, but also two people died who I knew and cared about. What is the best way to try and mourn while at the same time having to continue rotations and perform to expectations? When is the right time to say, I can't do this right now because I need to mourn and deal with my own emotional state so that I can come back and have the capacity to make appropriate judgment calls when concerning patient care?
It depends on how much it is affecting your clinical performance. Key is not to let it snowball. People take temporary leaves of absence all the time for these type of situations. The worst thing to do is dragging along across rotations without effectively dealing with it.
 
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think so,Looking back I wish I had maybe started talking to a therapist or took some time off between graduation and intern year.
wxlaO7
:nono:
 
There are also "grief support groups" which may be helpful. Some colleges offer these for free or it may be a part of your insurances "wellness" program.

You can also take temporary leaves as mentioned above, people take these all the time for different reasons (grief/depression, pregnancy, life situations/divorce)
 
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