Dealing with a break up in the 3rd week of med school

[snowys435]

I don't know what to do with myself right now. I'm crying my eyes out and can't even get out of bed. I don't know how I'm going to function. I have a test tomorrow.

I was in this relationship for about 2.5 years, one of it being long distance. For the first year, we were in college together and it was a good relationship but then he started working in ibanking. he was making no time for me, and our relationship went down hill in the last 6 months or so. I kept giving him chances till I ran out of them. He kept saying he'd try and he never did and this weekend I kind of just blew up and broke it off with him. he'd been not prioritizing me for a while and I thought things would be better in med school where i'd be busier too and maybe more ok with no phone calls for a week or two in a row. I loved and cared about him a lot and this is the most painful thing I have ever experienced as pathetic as it sounds. I can't believe how it ended. I called and told him we were breaking up and he said " ok, i understand" I asked him if he noticed we hadn't talked all week again and he said he hadn't because he had other things on his mind. I asked if he even cared enough to stop me and he said " I care but no, i'm not going to do that. I understand where you're coming from but my career is more important to me right now." Then he hung up because he had to go work.

He treated me pretty badly, yet i'm sitting here hoping maybe he'll text me, realize he was wrong. I'm exercising all the self control I have not to say anything to him. I have no business contacting someone who told me they hadn't noticed we hadn't talked all week.

I just don't know what to do. med school seems daunting and scary right now. I have an exam tomorrow and I haven't studied all weekend. I can't even find the energy to get out of bed. I don't know what to do or how to move on. I need advice, motivation from anyone who's been through something similar and knows how badly im hurting right now. how do i move forward from this? Will i be able to move foward from this?

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[Doctor Strange]

Seek help from your school's counseling services ASAP.

 

[demystifie]

Do what he did and put your professional training first. I know it's hard to let go of something that you've emotionally invested in, but try to think about what's at stake with your medical training. Definitely talk it out with some friends and/or family (I love venting) and try to move on. Lingering is the worst thing you can do, so force yourself to think about other things.

 

[darkjedi]

I agree with Doctor Strange. As helpful as SDN can be for giving advice, anonymous internet peoples are not equipped or trained to help you for these types of issues. I'm sorry this happened to you, but I think that finding someone who is trained to help you would really be the most beneficial thing for you at this point.

 

[kyamh]

Sometimes it's good to give yourself a bit of a time to grieve, don't feel bad about needing time. As far as your future and schooling are concerned, reach out to the counselors who must have told you - over and over during orientation or some other first-year meeting - to come to them if and when you experience hardship.

 

[tiedyeddog]

Seem help from the deans, don't take the test if you know you are going to fail it.

Time heals ALL wounds.

 

[Evisju7]

I don't know what to do with myself right now. I'm crying my eyes out and can't even get out of bed. I don't know how I'm going to function. I have a test tomorrow.

I was in this relationship for about 2.5 years, one of it being long distance. For the first year, we were in college together and it was a good relationship but then he started working in ibanking. he was making no time for me, and our relationship went down hill in the last 6 months or so. I kept giving him chances till I ran out of them. He kept saying he'd try and he never did and this weekend I kind of just blew up and broke it off with him. he'd been not prioritizing me for a while and I thought things would be better in med school where i'd be busier too and maybe more ok with no phone calls for a week or two in a row. I loved and cared about him a lot and this is the most painful thing I have ever experienced as pathetic as it sounds. I can't believe how it ended. I called and told him we were breaking up and he said " ok, i understand" I asked him if he noticed we hadn't talked all week again and he said he hadn't because he had other things on his mind. I asked if he even cared enough to stop me and he said " I care but no, i'm not going to do that. I understand where you're coming from but my career is more important to me right now." Then he hung up because he had to go work.

He treated me pretty badly, yet i'm sitting here hoping maybe he'll text me, realize he was wrong. I'm exercising all the self control I have not to say anything to him. I have no business contacting someone who told me they hadn't noticed we hadn't talked all week.

I just don't know what to do. med school seems daunting and scary right now. I have an exam tomorrow and I haven't studied all weekend. I can't even find the energy to get out of bed. I don't know what to do or how to move on. I need advice, motivation from anyone who's been through something similar and knows how badly im hurting right now. how do i move forward from this? Will i be able to move foward from this?

The best thing I have is to tell you that this is temporary.

It seems like the end of the world, but it's not. You will move on from this. Just be patient with yourself and have compassion for your feelings.

You must let him go. This is really hard, but it will save you so much heartache. No communication for 60 days. You need time to grieve, heal, and distance yourself in order to think rationally.

Remember, when you do overcome this feeling, what is going to be left in your life? Your school, your family..?

The things that are constant in your life need to be kept priorities. It will be hard to get up and go study, workout, go to class, etc.. but those things you want to stick around when the grieving is over. So keep doing them, regardless of how you feel right now. You'll thank yourself later and it will get easier

 

[pink/\floyd]

Been there... give it a couple of weeks.. you will get over him (fo sho)! I know it is difficult, and it is hard to think rationally, but you have worked so hard to get into medical school, don't jeopardize your grades over a man. Delete his number(absolutely don't call or text him), go for a swim/relax with friends, exercise, talk to someone like others have suggested. No contact rule.
Also, quit feeling sorry for yourself! No self pity! Think about how smart and hardworking you are, and concentrate on your final goal--> being a physician. Your career (and your future patients) is (are) more important than anything else in your life!! Listen to some kick ass music...
Here I'll recommend you my break up song:

 

[oldstock]

Seem help from the deans, don't take the test if you know you are going to fail it.

Time heals ALL wounds.

what kind of advice are you giving here ?? Not taking an exam with a good excuse (and bf/gf breaking up is nowhere near being a good excuse) is guaranteeing you a sure F

 

[oldstock]

I don't know what to do with myself right now. I'm crying my eyes out and can't even get out of bed. I don't know how I'm going to function. I have a test tomorrow.

I was in this relationship for about 2.5 years, one of it being long distance. For the first year, we were in college together and it was a good relationship but then he started working in ibanking. he was making no time for me, and our relationship went down hill in the last 6 months or so. I kept giving him chances till I ran out of them. He kept saying he'd try and he never did and this weekend I kind of just blew up and broke it off with him. he'd been not prioritizing me for a while and I thought things would be better in med school where i'd be busier too and maybe more ok with no phone calls for a week or two in a row. I loved and cared about him a lot and this is the most painful thing I have ever experienced as pathetic as it sounds. I can't believe how it ended. I called and told him we were breaking up and he said " ok, i understand" I asked him if he noticed we hadn't talked all week again and he said he hadn't because he had other things on his mind. I asked if he even cared enough to stop me and he said " I care but no, i'm not going to do that. I understand where you're coming from but my career is more important to me right now." Then he hung up because he had to go work.

He treated me pretty badly, yet i'm sitting here hoping maybe he'll text me, realize he was wrong. I'm exercising all the self control I have not to say anything to him. I have no business contacting someone who told me they hadn't noticed we hadn't talked all week.

I just don't know what to do. med school seems daunting and scary right now. I have an exam tomorrow and I haven't studied all weekend. I can't even find the energy to get out of bed. I don't know what to do or how to move on. I need advice, motivation from anyone who's been through something similar and knows how badly im hurting right now. how do i move forward from this? Will i be able to move foward from this?

if you are med school now, I am sure you are capable of doing better than this. This is kids' stuff !!

go pull an all nighter (and turn off phone and SDN now ) and ace/pass that exam tomorrow. Then go party afterward !! GL and keep us posted !!

 

[AMEHigh]

I got separated and divorced during med school. It's hard, but things do get better. Don't be scared to seek out professional help at your school or elsewhere if you're having difficulties. Good luck to you.

 

[tiedyeddog]

what kind of advice are you giving here ?? Not taking an exam with a good excuse (and bf/gf breaking up is nowhere near being a good excuse) is guaranteeing you a sure F

I am giving good advice. Are you even a medical student (or in professional school?)Taking it without studying the past week is guaranteeing an F. At least if she talks to the Deans they might let her reschedule it. It sounds like she is having a minor mental breakdown over this, she needs help to get through this and get back to studying.

 

[tiedyeddog]

if you are med school now, I am sure you are capable of doing better than this. This is kids' stuff !!

go pull an all nighter (and turn off phone and SDN now ) and ace/pass that exam tomorrow. Then go party afterward !! GL and keep us posted !!

Dude, you don't pull an all-nighter after not studying for a week before a medical school test and then expect to pass. It is a little harder than undergrad. You'll figure it out when you start pharmacy school.

 

[MommaMD]

I assume you are a traditional student (meaning somewhere between the ages of 21 and 24). I usually just lurk around, but your post caught my eye. So here I am, a mom. And I am going to tell you a few things that may help you get a little perspective despite a broken heart right now.

1. Long distance relationships rarely work out. They continue for as long as they do a lot of the time either because it's more security blanket than love affair. There is a comfort to knowing you have that tethered connection - no matter how frayed it is.
2. All relationships require diligence. Long distance makes this very difficult because life often becomes out of sight, out of mind.

Here's the thing, having a boyfriend who is barely there emotionally is no good, long distance or otherwise. This person does not deserve your tears or your heartache. He was lazy by not being honest with you from the minute his attentions faded. I am married to a workaholic and have been for nearly 30 years. There were plenty of times when his work came first for 99.9% of his days, but no matter where he was or what he was doing, he has always taken the time to check in with me or call to say goodnight. Maybe a day here or a day there, as honestly, there is only so much small talk about one's day. It's not always 50/50. Sometimes it's 90/10 or 30/70. But it can't ever be 0/100. So, here's the thing you need to really hear: His behavior has been tremendously cowardly in that he has essentially ignored you into breaking up with him! Say it out loud and look yourself in the mirror when you say it. Brush your teeth and wash your face, and say... He is a coward and a lazy one at that. HE IGNORED YOU UNTIL YOU BROKE UP WITH HIM.

I urge you to raise your standards considerably and immediately.

You deserve better, and the truth is, you are young and deserve to know yourself better before you determine how much of yourself you are willing to give up for someone else. Life is hard. Relationships are hard. There are so many compromises ahead in order to build a life and a family with another. And here you are… You are just beginning to know what truly makes you tick in relationships and that happily ever after. Life, if you take care of it, is long. Don't wish this crucial time of growth away or rush it to completion. EMBRACE HOW AWESOME YOU ARE. You got into medical school, for God's sake! How great are you?? Believe that and get back to it.

This said, you also have a very long educational commitment ahead of you. Eventually, what will ultimately be required of you is the ability to put your personal life aside for the sake of the patient, someone whose pain or condition will overshadow any cracks in your heart. Consider what you are going through right now as your first test in preparation for that level of disconnect.

Like some other smart posters, it's been recommended you seek counseling. And I say, take absolute advantage of any and all services that may be available to you - especially because as a student, I imagine the cost is nominal. I do not encourage you to share this with the general population, or even teachers or deans. You can say you are going through some personal issues right now, and while I may have stumbled I am definitely resilient and on the right track. It's not that I think it's a weakness to show vulnerability, but I do think you need to rise up and see the long term picture.

This is a blip, honey. Really, it's just a blip. Think of the worst drama of 8th grade, and magnify it slightly -- but that's how it will look in the rear view mirror. And look at it this way, so much better to find out that he's a lazy coward now than if you had invested 5, then 10 years into the relationship. You've dodged a bullet - trust me.

 

[Evisju7]

I assume you are a traditional student (meaning somewhere between the ages of 21 and 24). I usually just lurk around, but your post caught my eye. So here I am, a mom. And I am going to tell you a few things that may help you get a little perspective despite a broken heart right now.

1. Long distance relationships rarely work out. They continue for as long as they do a lot of the time either because it's more security blanket than love affair. There is a comfort to knowing you have that tethered connection - no matter how frayed it is.
2. All relationships require diligence. Long distance makes this very difficult because life often becomes out of sight, out of mind.

Here's the thing, having a boyfriend who is barely there emotionally is no good, long distance or otherwise. This person does not deserve your tears or your heartache. He was lazy by not being honest with you from the minute his attentions faded. I am married to a workaholic and have been for nearly 30 years. There were plenty of times when his work came first for 99.9% of his days, but no matter where he was or what he was doing, he has always taken the time to check in with me or call to say goodnight. Maybe a day here or a day there, as honestly, there is only so much small talk about one's day. But here's the thing you need to really hear: His behavior has been tremendously cowardly in that he has essentially ignored you into breaking up with you. Say it out loud and look yourself in the mirror when you say it. Brush your teeth and wash your face, and say... He is a coward and a lazy one at that. HE IGNORED YOU UNTIL YOU BROKE UP WITH HIM.

I urge you to raise your standards considerably and immediately.

You deserve better, and the truth is, you are young and deserve to know yourself better before you determine how much of yourself you are willing to give up for someone else. Life is hard. Relationships are hard. There are so many compromises ahead in order to build a life and a family with another. And here you are… You are just beginning to know what truly makes you tick in relationships and that happily ever after. Life, if you take care of it, is long. Don't wish this crucial time of growth away or rush it to completion. EMBRACE HOW AWESOME YOU ARE. You got into medical school, for God's sake! How great are you?? Believe that and get back to it.

This said, you also have a very long educational commitment ahead of you. Eventually, what will ultimately be required of you is the ability to put your personal life aside for the sake of the patient, someone whose pain or condition will overshadow any cracks in your heart. Consider what you are going through right now as your first test in preparation for that level of disconnect.

Like some other smart posters, it's been recommended you seek counseling. And I say, take absolute advantage of any and all services that may be available to you - especially because as a student, I imagine the cost is nominal. I do not encourage you to share this with the general population, or even teachers or deans. You can say you are going through some personal issues right now, and while I may have stumbled I am definitely resilient and on the right track. It's not that I think it's a weakness to show vulnerability, but I do think you need to rise up and see the long term picture.

This is a blip, honey. Really, it's just a blip. Think of the worst drama of 8th grade, and magnify it slightly -- but that's how it will look in the rear view mirror. And look at it this way, so much better to find out that he's a lazy coward now than if you had invested 5, then 10 years into the relationship. It's not always 50/50. Sometimes it's 90/10 or 30/70. But it can't every be 0/100. You've dodged a bullet - trust me.

Mothers so blunt and so wonderfully kind, simultaneously

 

[Aerus]

what kind of advice are you giving here ?? Not taking an exam with a good excuse (and bf/gf breaking up is nowhere near being a good excuse) is guaranteeing you a sure F

Yeah, I don't know why you think you know how to give better advice to a medical student than @tiedyeddog seeing as you're not a medical student. In fact, you're not even pre-med, what are you doing here?

I'm also going to assume that, unlike undergrad, medical schools are more invested in the success of their students, since it costs a lot of resources to matriculate a medical student and a higher % graduation rate looks good on the school's part as well.

 

[oldstock]

I am giving good advice. Are you even a medical student (or in professional school?)Taking
it without studying the past week is guaranteeing an F. At least if she talks to the Deans they might let her reschedule it. It sounds like she is having a minor mental breakdown over this, she needs help to get through this and get back to studying.

Dude, you don't pull an all-nighter after not studying for a week before a medical school test and then expect to pass. It is a little harder than undergrad. You'll figure it out when you start pharmacy school.

Bro, I am not a med student But I am not in undergrad either (I am a lowly 1st year pharmacy student). We also are advised and taught study strategies, planning, and techniques during orientation. I know that the workload in professional schools as I come from a family of medical professionals (doctors, pharmacists, PAs, and nurses). I am studying everyday and do not usually recommend anyone to pull an all nighter as I understand that is not the most efficient way of studying in professional school.

Having said all that I think the OP's best bet is doing whatever she has to do now to get ready for that test and take it. The OP can go to talk to dean of the medical school or president of the university for all I care but I am 99.9999% sure that they will not let you reschedule the exam. Rescheduling an exam or giving a makeup is reserved for emergency only. This is NOT an emergency. This is nothing. If you are crying blah blah blah over this, you might as well quit med school and give up that seat for someone who is mature enough and capable of handling stress. You are in training to be a doctor for God's sake. If you are weak like this, how would people expect or trust you to save anyone else ??

Like I said above, this is kids' stuff. I do not know what medical school you are in now, but even in the undergrad or high school, they will not let you reschedule test for things like this. So the OP can go to sleep all night if she likes to but she has to take that test tomorrow. Or she going to receive a ZERO for not taking it as scheduled. It's that simple !!

To the OP : Be prepared to take the test tomorrow and good luck !!

 

[oldstock]

Yeah, I don't know why you think you know how to give better advice to a medical student than @tiedyeddog seeing as you're not a medical student. In fact, you're not even pre-med, what are you doing here?

It does not take a med student or even GOD to give good advice in this case. This is common sense. Like I said, I come from a family of different kind of medical professionals. I understand this.

So you are implying I have no business posting in a premed forum ??

But I assume that you are GOD right ?? LOL Because I do not think one of prereq to post in this forum is pre-med or med student. Oh yeah, I forgot... med students are not GOD. They are still capable of immature and doing stupid things like anyone else.

And what are you ?? premed and still in undergrad I assume LOL

I'm also going to assume that, unlike undergrad, medical schools are more invested in the success of their students, since it costs a lot of resources to matriculate a medical student and a higher % graduation rate looks good on the school's part as well.

Again, I do not know what kind of med school you are thinking of but rescheduling exams for students over things like bf/gf fights and breakups to keep up the graduation rate to "look good" ?? Good luck with your assumption. When it is your turn to skip an exam in med school (don't know when), I strongly recommend you to try out @tiedyeddog 's advice. Hope it will turn out to be a pleasant experience for you (if it ever happens) LOL

 

[Aerus]

It does not take a med student or even GOD to give good advice in this case. This is common sense. Like I said, I come from a family of different kind of medical professionals. I understand this.

So you are implying I have no business posting in a premed forum ??

But I assume that you are GOD right ?? LOL Because I do not think one of prereq to post in this forum is pre-med or med student. Oh yeah, I forgot... med students are not GOD. They are still capable of immature and doing stupid things like anyone else.

And what are you ?? premed and still in undergrad I assume LOL



Again, I do not know what kind of med school you are thinking of but rescheduling exams for students over things like bf/gf fights and breakups to keep up the graduation rate to "look good" ?? Good luck with your assumption. When it is your turn to skip an exam in med school (don't know when), I strongly recommend you to try out @tiedyeddog 's advice. Hope it will turn out to be a pleasant experience for you (if it ever happens) LOL

Calm down, the question was just a formality. I don't really care why you're here, tbh.

And it wasn't the fact that you gave advice; it was that you gave advice contrary to a medical student about medical school when you never attended medical school. I definitely agree that being a medical student, by itself, doesn't mean all your advice is better, but when it's about something like medical school, it's better to let med students answer that.

Your style of typing irritates my eyes. I'm not going to even try to read the last part of your post...

 

[MommaMD]

While I think the delivery could have been better, I agree with @oldstock. But this little off topic banter is just as childish as the accusations of immaturity thrown at the OP! Take it outside.

I agree this is not a reason to ask for extension or reschedule. And while I don't suggest an all nighter as that wastes your brain for the entire rest of the day as well, I do suggest studying until late, making sure you have coffee ready, and setting a very early alarm. Try to get four hours of sleep but make sure you get up when the alarm goes off. No snooze allowed!

While I don't know the weight of one exam long term, I'd like to believe that even that is a blip as I imagine the poster is a very good student normally and even at her worst, won't truly fail. And even if she did, is there no room for error? I can't say. But the only recourse now is do the best you can. The most important thing to do is quiet the mind of crap… to not, leaves no room for learning. So, take a shower… take a really long look into your own eyes in the mirror to see who you are… and who you want to be. Find the strength within, get back to molecules and muscles (whatever) and find THAT passion. Then get some sleep.. wake up, turn on the coffee and hit the books hard again in the morning.

Good Luck and let us know!

 

[oldstock]

Calm down, the question was just a formality. I don't really care why you're here, tbh.

And it wasn't the fact that you gave advice; it was that you gave advice contrary to a medical student about medical school when you never attended medical school. I definitely agree that being a medical student, by itself, doesn't mean all your advice is better, but when it's about something like medical school, it's better to let med students answer that.

Your style of typing irritates my eyes. I'm not going to even try to read the last part of your post...

Dang now you turn pull a 180 on me.... I can see you are k*ssing a$$/worshiping med students or doctors. They are your GOD, right ?

you can read my entire post or parts of it for all I care... LOL

 

[oldstock]

While I think the delivery could have been better, I agree with @oldstock. But this little off topic banter is just as childish as the accusations of immaturity thrown at the OP! Take it outside.

I agree this is not a reason to ask for extension or reschedule. And while I don't suggest an all nighter as that wastes your brain for the entire rest of the day as well, I do suggest studying until late, making sure you have coffee ready, and setting a very early alarm. Try to get four hours of sleep but make sure you get up when the alarm goes off. No snooze allowed!

While I don't know the weight of one exam long term, I'd like to believe that even that is a blip as I imagine the poster is a very good student normally and even at her worst, won't truly fail. And even if she did, is there no room for error? I can't say. But the only recourse now is do the best you can. The most important thing to do is quiet the mind of crap… to not, leaves no room for learning. So, take a shower… take a really long look into your own eyes in the mirror to see who you are… and who you want to be. Find the strength within, get back to molecules and muscles (whatever) and find THAT passion. Then get some sleep.. wake up, turn on the coffee and hit the books hard again in the morning.

Good Luck and let us know!

I agree. I will not respond to irrelevant/off topic posts here after this one (I've already posted after seeing your posts. Thank you for reminding me this !! )

 

[Aerus]

Dang now you turn pull a 180 on me.... I can see you are k*ssing a$$/worshiping med students or doctors. They are your GOD, right ?

you can read my entire post or parts of it for all I care... LOL

It's kind of ironic how you bolded a sentence in my post, then chose to not read it. As I said, when it comes to medical schools, it's usually best to let medical students answer the questions, since they know more about how things work. The hypocrisy with which you write with is appalling.

 

[oldstock]

It's kind of ironic how you bolded a sentence in my post, then chose to not read it. As I said, when it comes to medical schools, it's usually best to let medical students answer the questions, since they know more about how things work. The hypocrisy with which you write with is appalling.

So you think med students trump MDs ?? LOL

Ironic ?? Hypocrisy ?? look behind you dude. What's there ?? hahahaha (sorry can't help.... I have to turn off my alert NOW to not respond to post like this... )

 

[WillburCobb]

So you think med students trump MDs ?? LOL

Ironic ?? Hypocrisy ?? look behind you dude. What's there ?? hahahaha (sorry can't help.... I have to turn off my alert NOW to not respond to post like this... )

Aspects of medical education tend to be ever-changing and we are less removed than those higher-up on the chain...

 

[WillburCobb]

Bro, I am not a med student But I am not in undergrad either (I am a lowly 1st year pharmacy student).

If you're on top of things you can start pharmacy school after your second year of college, and a number of first year (and even some second year) classes are taught with undergrad students.

 

[WillburCobb]

Having said all that I think the OP's best bet is doing whatever she has to do now to get ready for that test and take it. The OP can go to talk to dean of the medical school or president of the university for all I care but I am 99.9999% sure that they will not let you reschedule the exam. Rescheduling an exam or giving a makeup is reserved for emergency only. This is NOT an emergency. This is nothing. If you are crying blah blah blah over this, you might as well quit med school and give up that seat for someone who is mature enough and capable of handling stress. You are in training to be a doctor for God's sake. If you are weak like this, how would people expect or trust you to save anyone else ??

Like I said above, this is kids' stuff. I do not know what medical school you are in now, but even in the undergrad or high school, they will not let you reschedule test for things like this. So the OP can go to sleep all night if she likes to but she has to take that test tomorrow. Or she going to receive a ZERO for not taking it as scheduled. It's that simple !!

Yes it is. I personally know 3 individuals who have suffered significant relationship difficulties that have impacted their academic performance to the extent of having to either remediate or being held back a year. Student affairs deans are aware of this and will (at the very least should) work with students through this (as fairly as possibly), so long as you're willing to hold-up your end.

 

[oldstock]

If you're on top of things you can start pharmacy school after your second year of college, and a number of first year classes are taught with undergrad students.

ah, I see where you are going now... you are suggesting pharmacy school is undergrad ?? and thus, I know nothing and can suggest nothing ??


sorry to break it to you, if you are on top of things you can start medical school right after high school,

http://www.premedhq.com/2011/07/list-of-bamd-programs.html

http://premedroadmap.com/high-school-to-medical-school/seven-year-medical-programs/


or start med school after 2-3 years of undergrad such as this one,

http://www.bu.edu/admissions/academics/programs/pre-med/


so per your logic, med school is high school or undergrad ????? or you were and are not on top of things ?????? lol


FYI, at my pharmacy school, there is no class of my 1st year that is shared with undergrad. No other student can register for pharmacy classes unless they are pharmacy students. Our program is graduate program. (I have already 2 degrees and a previous career myself). But then again, seeing you are not even in pharmacy school or pre-pharm to know this better than me ??

Yes it is. I personally know 3 individuals who have significantly suffered relationship difficulties that have impacted their academic performance to the extent of having to either remediate or being held back a year. Student affairs deans are aware of this and will (at the very least should) work with you through this (as fairly as possibly), so long as you're willing to hold-up your end.

What were the real circumstances of those 3 persons you know and what were the results ?? Do you really know ??

So you think the OP's bf/gf breakup is an emergency and it is fair for every other students that the school will accommodate her by letting her skip the exam tomorrow and rescheduling it over this matter ?? And you probably know better than @MommaMD and/or common sense about this stuff ?? Good for you. But I sincerely hope the OP will not listen to this "wonderful" advice of yours.

To be honest, IMHO if you cannot handle this, you are weak and not deserved that seat in med school or holding the lives of patients later. Freaking give up that seat to other people who can !!

Sorry to be a little frank and harsh but I'd like to say things like what they really are.

Aspects of medical education tend to be ever-changing and we are less removed from those higher-up on the chain...

let's keep on focusing on the OP here... so are you or are you not agreeing with @tiedyeddog to suggest to the OP to skip the exam and go talk to the Dean tomorrow ??

 

[AlbinoHawk DO]

So.... you're single now? :-D

jk

 

[oldstock]

So.... you're single now? :-D

jk

yup, hook her up to a MD or DO or a med student now. Problem solved !! LOL

 

[oldstock]

If you're on top of things you can start pharmacy school after your second year of college, and a number of first year (and even some second year) classes are taught with undergrad students.

please kindly tell me which pharmacy school does that ?? Thanks lol

 

[moisne]

I don't know what to do with myself right now. I'm crying my eyes out and can't even get out of bed. I don't know how I'm going to function. I have a test tomorrow.

I was in this relationship for about 2.5 years, one of it being long distance. For the first year, we were in college together and it was a good relationship but then he started working in ibanking. he was making no time for me, and our relationship went down hill in the last 6 months or so. I kept giving him chances till I ran out of them. He kept saying he'd try and he never did and this weekend I kind of just blew up and broke it off with him. he'd been not prioritizing me for a while and I thought things would be better in med school where i'd be busier too and maybe more ok with no phone calls for a week or two in a row. I loved and cared about him a lot and this is the most painful thing I have ever experienced as pathetic as it sounds. I can't believe how it ended. I called and told him we were breaking up and he said " ok, i understand" I asked him if he noticed we hadn't talked all week again and he said he hadn't because he had other things on his mind. I asked if he even cared enough to stop me and he said " I care but no, i'm not going to do that. I understand where you're coming from but my career is more important to me right now." Then he hung up because he had to go work.

He treated me pretty badly, yet i'm sitting here hoping maybe he'll text me, realize he was wrong. I'm exercising all the self control I have not to say anything to him. I have no business contacting someone who told me they hadn't noticed we hadn't talked all week.

I just don't know what to do. med school seems daunting and scary right now. I have an exam tomorrow and I haven't studied all weekend. I can't even find the energy to get out of bed. I don't know what to do or how to move on. I need advice, motivation from anyone who's been through something similar and knows how badly im hurting right now. how do i move forward from this? Will i be able to move foward from this?

I had something very similar to this - though my break up was when I was working not med school. It's super hard to focus and usually the pain eases off in about 2 weeks - at least to the point where I was fully functional.

You have two choices
1. Actually let go - and move on and focus on yourself.
2. If you want, you could try again but you should be so busy that you don't have time for him anyways.

Actually there is a 3rd, I played a lot of league of legends, dots, etc and that helped. Movies also always help me out of bad moods because I would end up feeling the movie.


Good luck. Talk to a counselor if you think you will totally fail.

 

[WillburCobb]

ah, I see where you are going now... you are suggesting pharmacy is undergrad ??


sorry to break it to you, if you are on top of things you can start medical school right after high school

You don't start med school out of high school in those programs and a number of students get dismissed from them. I'm simply pointing out a difference in maturity. A typical med student begins med school after 4 years of undergrad. There's a reason why the programs you alluded to have dissipated since their inception ~40 years ago. A typical pharmacy student begins pharm school after 2 years of undergrad (and keep in mind it wasn't until ~20 years ago that pharmacy became a professional/doctoral program...).

FYI, at my pharmacy school, there is no class of my 1st year that share with undergrad. No other student can register for pharmacy classes unless they are pharmacy students. Our program is graduate program.

Good for your school .

What were the real circumstances of those 3 persons you know and what were the results ??

Ummm, they had long term relationships go south and worked with the dean of students affairs to work through their individual issues.

And you probably know better than @MommaMD

Well that person has a 7 post history...

Regarding my opinion about tiedyeddog, that should be clear.

 

[WillburCobb]

please kindly tell me which pharmacy school does that ?? Thanks lol

I know of 6 off the top of my head. You're not as special as you like to think.

 

[oldstock]

I know of 6 off the top of my head. You're not as special as you like to think.

give me the sources/link or your info. Or at least name those schools. What pharmacy schools, according to you, have their 1st and 2nd yr classes taught with undegrad ??

But then again, I have never said anything about me being special but advised the OP to brush this matter off and go prepare to take the exam tomorrow until posters like you come in attacking me. But I guess you think you are special ?? of course you are lol

 

[relhaopyla]

I think that finding someone who is trained to help you would really be the most beneficial thing for you at this point.

 

[oldstock]

You don't start med school out of high school in those programs and a number of students get dismissed from them.

"You" ?? I take that it means YOU lol

but you were not on top of your game and could NOT get in those programs, right ??

all joking asides, that does not negate the fact that a person CAN get in med school right out of high school as there are such programs in existence which only the very TOP and exceptional students can get in.

I'm simply pointing out a difference in maturity. A typical med student begins med school after 4 years of undergrad. There's a reason why the programs you alluded to have dissipated since their inception ~40 years ago. A typical pharmacy student begins pharm school after 2 years of undergrad (and keep in mind it wasn't until ~20 years ago that pharmacy became a professional/doctoral program...).


Good for your school .

so do you think pharmacy is or is not a professional/doctoral program now ??

For you, it seems like undegrad = not professional program... and that pharmacy was never a professional program until ~20 yrs ago...

again I am sorry to break it to you. Despite your profile says that you are med school, you do not know jack. Pharmacy is always a professional programs. So it is nursing.

And yes, the minimum admission requirement for pharmacy is 2 yrs of college but these days, most pharmacy students typically have a bachelor degree or 3 yrs of undergrad under their belts.

This just confirms what I have posted above: there are id*ot$ (or criminals) everywhere, regardless how high or how low the places are,

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...stion-stealing-iPad-dying-cancer-patient.html

http://www.pressdemocrat.com/news/2240965-181/doctor-in-sex-case-says

Ummm, they had long term relationships go south and worked with the dean of students affairs to work through their individual issues.



Well that person has a 7 post history...

Regarding my opinion about tiedyeddog, that should be clear.

ah, no detail lol

 

[Lakedays]

God… How did this thread become a contest of credibility? in other words? A Dissing contest with a capital P.

Additionally, calling someone weak etc is DEFINITELY 8th grade. MommaD gave solid advice about getting over a loser who was probably more crutch, habit or dependence. When you call yourself boyfriend or girlfriend and don't communicate for a week on a regular basis. that's kinda weird. What's the difference between 7 posts or 700? Personally, I don't think 1000+ posts determines your authority or expertise. If anything it says you might be spending too much time on SDN, and have become slightly desensitized to respectful dialogue. Or rather I hope so! I can't imagine having to dig my heels in every time someone disagreed with me. Life is too short. I guess I am also slightly confused by the absolute need to be right when there are likely to be several reasonable approaches.

Just saying that if the test is tomorrow and she is getting notifications or whatever in following this thread, she is being constantly interrupted by silliness. Might I suggest starting a new thread entitled: "How to get into Pharmacy and/or Med school directly from HS". Or "What the hell does a dean do, and to what degree can you trust them with evaluating your mental health and competency?"

Personally, in terms of getting out of bed and back to living, I think I'd rather listen to someone married 30 years and has a clue about real life (to say nothing about a longer distance in the rearview mirror). I also think each school will have differing resources, and using the most appropriate at that particular school is what is paramount.

I hope she's too busy studying to bother being on SDN right now.

 

[oldstock]

God… How did this thread become a contest of credibility? in other words? A Dissing contest with a capital P.

they are trying to discredit my advice and "prevent" me from posting because as a pharmacy student, I am not qualified to post here according to them...

Additionally, calling someone weak etc is DEFINITELY 8th grade.

I've already passed the phase to sugar coat things... I'd like call things for what they really are.

MommaD gave solid advice about getting over a loser who was probably more crutch, habit or dependence. When you call yourself boyfriend or girlfriend and don't communicate for a week on a regular basis. that's kinda weird. What's the difference between 7 posts or 700? Personally, I don't think 1000+ posts determines your authority or expertise. If anything it says you might be spending too much time on SDN, and have become slightly desensitized to respectful dialogue. Or rather I hope so! I can't imagine having to dig my heels in every time someone disagreed with me. Life is too short. I guess I am also slightly confused by the absolute need to be right when there are likely to be several reasonable approaches.

agreed with everything you've said there. I am studying by myself and got bored. I'd better to get back to studying. Sorry

Just saying that if the test is tomorrow and she is getting notifications or whatever in following this thread, she is being constantly interrupted by silliness. Might I suggest starting a new thread entitled: "How to get into Pharmacy and/or Med school directly from HS". Or "What the hell does a dean do, and to what degree can you trust them with evaluating your mental health and competency?"

LOL

Personally, in terms of getting out of bed and back to living, I think I'd rather listen to someone married 30 years and has a clue about real life (to say nothing about a longer distance in the rearview mirror). I also think each school will have differing resources, and using the most appropriate at that particular school is what is paramount.

I hope she's too busy studying to bother being on SDN right now.

Fingers crossed !! Amen !!

 

[Aerus]

all joking asides, that does not negate the fact that a person CAN get in med school right out of high school as there are such programs in existence which only the very TOP and exceptional students can get in.

Name one program in the US that lets high school students matriculate into med school without going through undergrad first.

"You" ?? I take that it means YOU lol

 

[Megalomis]

I don't know what to do with myself right now. I'm crying my eyes out and can't even get out of bed. I don't know how I'm going to function. I have a test tomorrow.

I was in this relationship for about 2.5 years, one of it being long distance. For the first year, we were in college together and it was a good relationship but then he started working in ibanking. he was making no time for me, and our relationship went down hill in the last 6 months or so. I kept giving him chances till I ran out of them. He kept saying he'd try and he never did and this weekend I kind of just blew up and broke it off with him. he'd been not prioritizing me for a while and I thought things would be better in med school where i'd be busier too and maybe more ok with no phone calls for a week or two in a row. I loved and cared about him a lot and this is the most painful thing I have ever experienced as pathetic as it sounds. I can't believe how it ended. I called and told him we were breaking up and he said " ok, i understand" I asked him if he noticed we hadn't talked all week again and he said he hadn't because he had other things on his mind. I asked if he even cared enough to stop me and he said " I care but no, i'm not going to do that. I understand where you're coming from but my career is more important to me right now." Then he hung up because he had to go work.

He treated me pretty badly, yet i'm sitting here hoping maybe he'll text me, realize he was wrong. I'm exercising all the self control I have not to say anything to him. I have no business contacting someone who told me they hadn't noticed we hadn't talked all week.

I just don't know what to do. med school seems daunting and scary right now. I have an exam tomorrow and I haven't studied all weekend. I can't even find the energy to get out of bed. I don't know what to do or how to move on. I need advice, motivation from anyone who's been through something similar and knows how badly im hurting right now. how do i move forward from this? Will i be able to move foward from this?

Oh my goodness girl, are you kidding me?! Of COURSE you will be able to move forward from this. We all go through this stuff, and if everyone in the world can survive these types of things, you of course can. I know it seems like the end of the world right now, but I promise you, you will be loving life again sooner rather than later. Someone like that is definitely not worth your time anyhow! I know that's hard to see right now, but believe me, the time will come when you will be able to see it.

The world is soooo big, and there are so many great people out there! (And the time will come when you will meet someone much better for you, I promise).

Lastly, don't let this schmuck ruin the opportunity you have worked so hard for. This is your moment to shine..seek out the counseling, and immerse yourself in your studies. (And have a great time in med school). This guy just ain't worth it!!!

 

[Megalomis]

ah, I see where you are going now... you are suggesting pharmacy school is undergrad ?? and thus, I know nothing and can suggest nothing ??


sorry to break it to you, if you are on top of things you can start medical school right after high school,

http://www.premedhq.com/2011/07/list-of-bamd-programs.html

http://premedroadmap.com/high-school-to-medical-school/seven-year-medical-programs/


or start med school after 2-3 years of undergrad such as this one,

http://www.bu.edu/admissions/academics/programs/pre-med/


so per your logic, med school is high school or undergrad ????? or you were and are not on top of things ?????? lol


FYI, at my pharmacy school, there is no class of my 1st year that is shared with undergrad. No other student can register for pharmacy classes unless they are pharmacy students. Our program is graduate program. (I have already 2 degrees and a previous career myself). But then again, seeing you are not even in pharmacy school or pre-pharm to know this better than me ??





What were the real circumstances of those 3 persons you know and what were the results ?? Do you really know ??

So you think the OP's bf/gf breakup is an emergency and it is fair for every other students that the school will accommodate her by letting her skip the exam tomorrow and rescheduling it over this matter ?? And you probably know better than @MommaMD and/or common sense about this stuff ?? Good for you. But I sincerely hope the OP will not listen to this "wonderful" advice of yours.

To be honest, IMHO if you cannot handle this, you are weak and not deserved that seat in med school or holding the lives of patients later. Freaking give up that seat to other people who can !!

Sorry to be a little frank and harsh but I'd like to say things like what they really are.




let's keep on focusing on the OP here... so are you or are you not agreeing with @tiedyeddog to suggest to the OP to skip the exam and go talk to the Dean tomorrow ??

Weak? It's not called being weak at all. It's called being human. No one is perfect, and we're all entitled to being sad sometimes. Relationships, family crises, death of loved ones, illnesses, et.c...these are the things we go through as human beings. This person is not weak for getting emotional over losing something that meant something to her. Also, I don't think you mentioning that on this thread is conducive to her feeling better. That's not how a person should treat someone who is in an emotionally fragile state. Learn some bedside manner lol. That old quote comes to mind.."if you can't say something nice, don't say it at all."

We should come to these boards to support one another, not make each other feel worse. I understand you were trying to give out advice on the test thing, but calling her behavior weak numerous times is uncool (and inaccurate) in my opinion. If she has made it this far, I bet she will make a fine doctor one day. And I bet her bedside manner would rock yours! It's a good thing you are going to pharmacy school lol bc I don't think patients would be very fond of your demeanor. :/

 

[Law2Doc]

Name one program in the US that lets high school students matriculate into med school without going through undergrad first.

He's likely referring to the handful of BS/MD programs that still exist, where you are technically already admitted to med school.

 

[tiedyeddog]

Bro, I am not a med student But I am not in undergrad either (I am a lowly 1st year pharmacy student). We also are advised and taught study strategies, planning, and techniques during orientation. I know that the workload in professional schools as I come from a family of medical professionals (doctors, pharmacists, PAs, and nurses). I am studying everyday and do not usually recommend anyone to pull an all nighter as I understand that is not the most efficient way of studying in professional school.

Having said all that I think the OP's best bet is doing whatever she has to do now to get ready for that test and take it. The OP can go to talk to dean of the medical school or president of the university for all I care but I am 99.9999% sure that they will not let you reschedule the exam. Rescheduling an exam or giving a makeup is reserved for emergency only. This is NOT an emergency. This is nothing. If you are crying blah blah blah over this, you might as well quit med school and give up that seat for someone who is mature enough and capable of handling stress. You are in training to be a doctor for God's sake. If you are weak like this, how would people expect or trust you to save anyone else ??

Like I said above, this is kids' stuff. I do not know what medical school you are in now, but even in the undergrad or high school, they will not let you reschedule test for things like this. So the OP can go to sleep all night if she likes to but she has to take that test tomorrow. Or she going to receive a ZERO for not taking it as scheduled. It's that simple !!

To the OP : Be prepared to take the test tomorrow and good luck !!

Oh, so you're a first year pharmacy student? Have you taken your first set of tests yet? I have no idea what pharm school tests are like but I'd wager you don't know what medical school tests are like. Even if you have family members who are physicians.

Medical schools are extremely vested in their students. They get graded by the LCME, who accredits them, and one of the grading metrics is student passing rate as is student counseling services. I know at my school and others the deans are very willing to listen to this kind of stuff and will let students remediate at some other time for a one time issue.

 

[tiedyeddog]

So you think med students trump MDs ?? LOL

Ironic ?? Hypocrisy ?? look behind you dude. What's there ?? hahahaha (sorry can't help.... I have to turn off my alert NOW to not respond to post like this... )

I am not sure Momma MD is actually a physician. By her post history she has a son/daughter applying to medical school.

Regardless, she could have gone to medical school thirty years ago if she is a physician. Medical schools are a VERY different place now. Actual advice from medical students is better advice, unless MommaMD is a dean at a medical school. If so, please excuse me.

 

[Law2Doc]

Yes it is. I personally know 3 individuals who have suffered significant relationship difficulties that have impacted their academic performance to the extent of having to either remediate or being held back a year. Student affairs deans are aware of this and will (at the very least should) work with students through this (as fairly as possibly), so long as you're willing to hold-up your end.

While I also question whether a Pharmacy student ought to be weighing in on the workings of med school, and I also think the OP ought to seek out a dean or counselor to at least them give a heads up that she is dealing with stuff, when I went to med school there really was no opportunity to postpone a test due to a breakup. A divorce maybe, but doubtful. Lots of people broke up during early med school -- its really common -- you deal with it and find a way to not let it destroy your life. Just like you might have to do when in practice. As mentioned, you do the best you can and if you have to remediate a failure, the schools give you a second chance either through a later test or repeating a Course over the summer or repeating the year. But I doubt they will just say, don't take the test. If they did, word would get out and a lot of people would somehow time their break ups right before any test they weren't really prepared for -- it is, after all the added stresses that put these things over the edge.

 

[tiedyeddog]

OP should have posted this in the Allo forums. You would get better advice if it was moved over there, more actual medical students would chime in.

 

[WillburCobb]

While I also question whether a Pharmacy student ought to be weighing in on the workings of med school, and I also think the OP ought to seek out a dean or counselor to at least them give a heads up that she is dealing with stuff, when I went to med school there really was no opportunity to postpone a test due to a breakup. A divorce maybe, but doubtful. Lots of people broke up during early med school -- its really common -- you deal with it and find a way to not let it destroy your life. Just like you might have to do when in practice. As mentioned, you do the best you can and if you have to remediate a failure, the schools give you a second chance either through a later test or repeating a Course over the summer or repeating the year. But I doubt they will just say, don't take the test. If they did, word would get out and a lot of people would somehow time their break ups right before any test they weren't really prepared for -- it is, after all the added stresses that put these things over the edge.

I agree. I admit I wasn't really clear in my post as I was eager to disagree with a certain someone's advice. My main point was that med school admin have observed and dealt with these issues in the past, and are best at helping and guiding students in the right direction. I think it's better to be on their radar early on by admitting you're struggling with issues like this, rather than trying to tough through it and having them connect with you after the fact (i.e., several failures) and have these difficulties appear as an excuse. At my school they'd likely not reschedule, but would be more open to working with the student in regards to remediation or dropping down a class if impacted by personal issues and evidence that they're actively working through them.

 

[oldstock]

I agree. I admit I wasn't really clear in my post as I was eager to disagree with a certain someone's advice... At my school they'd likely not reschedule, but would be more open to working with the student in regards to remediation or dropping down a class if impacted by personal issues and evidence that they're actively working through them.

Guess you've just got a morning coffee lol

Hope the OP do well on exam today !! Keep us posted !!

 

[Ailleurs]

Anyway, to OP, I'm sorry that you have to deal with that. My first boyfriend was exactly like that and it really was a horrible, terrible time. It's good that you are trying to exercise self-control. If I were you, this is what I'd do:

BUT FIRST--DO NOT LISTEN TO LOVE SONGS! You will analyze every aspect of what went wrong and feel like every love song made on earth was written solely for you, and just about your feelings. Not worth it.

1. If I started to feel sad, I'd just cry my eyes out. You end up with an intense headache, but you end up feeling better.
2. If I started feeling sad, I'd go to the gym.
3. If I started feeling angry, I'd go to the gym (anger can do wonders for the gym....seriously. You can lift and beat up the cardio machine way more than you can normally...)
4. Don't skimp on sleep or eating nutritiously! I guarantee you that this will make it worse.
5. Find a good support system. Your mom, siblings, friends.
6. Write out your emotions on paper and burn that sucker afterwards/rip it apart. It's cathartic, I'm telling you.
7. Delete everything that holds a memory of you two. This includes all pictures of him, anything he's given to you etc. It's really hard to part with such things, but it makes it 5000000000000x easier even though it might seem excruciating to get rid of initially.
8. Wake up earlier and go sit somewhere relaxing. Just breathe in the cold air. It's relaxing and a good stress buster.
9. Come spring time, appreciate the blooming flowers (I know...sounds silly/stupid, but it helped me realize my sadness over my ex was just not worth it over everything else we can make of the world).

I think honestly for many people, love has no place while studying (I'm a post-bacc and relationship issues can wreak havoc), especially those who have a hard time focusing on school when their love is on the rocks. I'm not saying you shouldn't date obviously, but be cautious! Love is kind of like alcohol, it does stuff to you that sometimes you regret (especially if it's a love for the wrong kind of person).

I assume you are a traditional student (meaning somewhere between the ages of 21 and 24). I usually just lurk around, but your post caught my eye. So here I am, a mom. And I am going to tell you a few things that may help you get a little perspective despite a broken heart right now.

1. Long distance relationships rarely work out. They continue for as long as they do a lot of the time either because it's more security blanket than love affair. There is a comfort to knowing you have that tethered connection - no matter how frayed it is.
2. All relationships require diligence. Long distance makes this very difficult because life often becomes out of sight, out of mind.

Here's the thing, having a boyfriend who is barely there emotionally is no good, long distance or otherwise. This person does not deserve your tears or your heartache. He was lazy by not being honest with you from the minute his attentions faded. I am married to a workaholic and have been for nearly 30 years. There were plenty of times when his work came first for 99.9% of his days, but no matter where he was or what he was doing, he has always taken the time to check in with me or call to say goodnight. Maybe a day here or a day there, as honestly, there is only so much small talk about one's day. It's not always 50/50. Sometimes it's 90/10 or 30/70. But it can't ever be 0/100. So, here's the thing you need to really hear: His behavior has been tremendously cowardly in that he has essentially ignored you into breaking up with him! Say it out loud and look yourself in the mirror when you say it. Brush your teeth and wash your face, and say... He is a coward and a lazy one at that. HE IGNORED YOU UNTIL YOU BROKE UP WITH HIM.

I urge you to raise your standards considerably and immediately.

You deserve better, and the truth is, you are young and deserve to know yourself better before you determine how much of yourself you are willing to give up for someone else. Life is hard. Relationships are hard. There are so many compromises ahead in order to build a life and a family with another. And here you are… You are just beginning to know what truly makes you tick in relationships and that happily ever after. Life, if you take care of it, is long. Don't wish this crucial time of growth away or rush it to completion. EMBRACE HOW AWESOME YOU ARE. You got into medical school, for God's sake! How great are you?? Believe that and get back to it.

This said, you also have a very long educational commitment ahead of you. Eventually, what will ultimately be required of you is the ability to put your personal life aside for the sake of the patient, someone whose pain or condition will overshadow any cracks in your heart. Consider what you are going through right now as your first test in preparation for that level of disconnect.

Like some other smart posters, it's been recommended you seek counseling. And I say, take absolute advantage of any and all services that may be available to you - especially because as a student, I imagine the cost is nominal. I do not encourage you to share this with the general population, or even teachers or deans. You can say you are going through some personal issues right now, and while I may have stumbled I am definitely resilient and on the right track. It's not that I think it's a weakness to show vulnerability, but I do think you need to rise up and see the long term picture.

This is a blip, honey. Really, it's just a blip. Think of the worst drama of 8th grade, and magnify it slightly -- but that's how it will look in the rear view mirror. And look at it this way, so much better to find out that he's a lazy coward now than if you had invested 5, then 10 years into the relationship. You've dodged a bullet - trust me.

Please, can I be your daughter?