My first time sharing anything personal on SDN but I want to let OP know that you're not alone! Although I'm not attending med school yet, I can totally empathize with what OP is going through. My bf who I've been dating for two years is three weeks into dental school and here I am, busy with preparing for med school interviews. I had one last week and have another two coming up within a week and I can't seem to focus on preparing for interviews without feeling sad or empty about what's ahead for my relationship. Ever since he started dental school, we haven't really talked. He would reply with maybe one or two short, obligatory text messages throughout the day. I know he's really busy and he's super happy with where he is at in his point of life.. but I can't stop feeling sad over the fact that I will eventually soon go through what OP is going through right now. In fact, today was our two year anniversary and he could not be more careless about it. I know I will probably end up attending med school somewhere in the East Coast (my three interviews I have thus far are all from the East Coast) and he goes to school in the West. I don't really believe in long distance relationships and I hate myself for letting this emotionally affect me already when I have the most important interviews of my life coming up soon. I know for sure I'll go through a massive emotional breakdown once the real breakup happens. I sometimes hate being a girl... (I generally find it's usually the girls who go through these kind of emotional breakdowns over a relationship) So you're not alone, @snowys435 ! Time for us to toughen up and celebrate for what's in store for us in the future!
Dealing with a break up in the 3rd week of med school
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First: @snowys435 -- Hurray for you! You got thru the day. The sun rose and set and you didn't falter. Don't dwell... and don't turn this on yourself. The problem with really smart and rational people is they can see their failings all too clearly. Sometimes too much so. They are often harder on themselves than anyone can ever be on them. You said you've never gotten anything less than an A? Well then I say... it sucks that this is the one, but it's about time!!! Life isn't about how well you do in success, it's what you do in failure... and you didn't even fail!!! You also passed the test that says you can absolutely push your personal life aside and compartmentalize when absolutely necessary. I am so proud of you. Now... go to the appt tomorrow!! And keep going! Don't think you're smarter than the therapist!! (Cause honestly sometimes it will definitely feel like that.) Look at it as a personal journey...keep the nuggets that resonate and toss the rocks that don't. And maybe start by asking her about discussing this BLIP with the dean or whomever would be appropriate. But please, don't call the lazy coward. (I don't recommend throwing out all the memorabilia of the relationship either, but only save a pic where you look awesome and he looks like crap. <3 - also, if you don't have a wooden cigar box (something I would buy at garage sales for my kids for just this kind of stuff), for now just toss the obvious in a drawer and stick it under your bed. Remember: Out of sight, Out of mind. ACT AS IF....
Second: let me tell ALL you girls something: Sometimes it really does suck being the girl. In fact, a group of us old folks had this exact same conversation just the other day. In some ways it doesn't change, but knowing yourself and your real worth is the only thing that's going to keep you happy in life. You will choose better, you will expect more and you will find a happy balance. It isn't that you still won't have to find compromise, but you will do it on far better terms when you feel completely loved while doing so. The trick is to be independent minded, find a slew of friends and activities that you enjoy and that nurture your spirit. And I give that advice to every girl.. in a relationship or not. It is absolutely true that you can't really love someone else until you love yourself. To boys I say... be nice.. and even though talking about feelings is hard, you do yourself no favors by not being honest and kind to the women in your life. So open your hearts and employ some respect for the women in your life.
Including your Mom...
Second: let me tell ALL you girls something: Sometimes it really does suck being the girl. In fact, a group of us old folks had this exact same conversation just the other day. In some ways it doesn't change, but knowing yourself and your real worth is the only thing that's going to keep you happy in life. You will choose better, you will expect more and you will find a happy balance. It isn't that you still won't have to find compromise, but you will do it on far better terms when you feel completely loved while doing so. The trick is to be independent minded, find a slew of friends and activities that you enjoy and that nurture your spirit. And I give that advice to every girl.. in a relationship or not. It is absolutely true that you can't really love someone else until you love yourself. To boys I say... be nice.. and even though talking about feelings is hard, you do yourself no favors by not being honest and kind to the women in your life. So open your hearts and employ some respect for the women in your life.
Including your Mom...
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Umm... not. Like I said, I usually only lurk to gauge just how freaked or stressed my kid is going to be when I see his number on my phone. This way if he says something like, I've given up on xxxx I can say with confidence that no news is good news and not go down the rabbit hole of worry (because i already know rejections were flying left and right today and hearing nothing is one more day alive in the pool!) I will also be honest to say that I know he owes his girlfriend flowers for putting up with him of late! Waiting is horrible for anyone... Anyway, no helicopter mom here. I am more like satellite who knows a little more than average about what my kids might be going though, but Im very stealth about it and stay very far away from swooping in or even having an opinion! I just want to actually be supportive vs the thread about parents where half of them are faceplants!!Why exactly are you on SDN again? Are you applying to medical school soon?
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Facepalms, perhaps?Umm... not. Like I said, I usually only lurk to gauge just how freaked or stressed my kid is going to be when I see his number on my phone. This way if he says something like, I've given up on xxxx I can say with confidence that no news is good news and not go down the rabbit hole of worry (because i already know rejections were flying left and right today and hearing nothing is one more day alive in the pool!) I will also be honest to say that I know he owes his girlfriend flowers for putting up with him of late! Waiting is horrible for anyone... Anyway, no helicopter mom here. I am more like satellite who knows a little more than average about what my kids might be going though, but Im very stealth about it and stay very far away from swooping in or even having an opinion! I just want to actually be supportive vs the thread about parents where half of them are faceplants!!
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Yes, exactly. Ever see that Saturday night Mom Translator? Yeah… I resemble that at times.
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Anyone who doesn't make you feel strong and powerful isn't worth it. Sometimes they make you feel that way at first, but you don't notice when they stop and when you shouldn't lean on them anymore. You can be your own source of strength. Love yourself!
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Lots of good advice here.
I've got not much to add of value other than what those have already offered.
Reach out to close friends and family and probably stay "off the grid" for a while, no Facebook or Internet to make things worse.
Good luck with the test!
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
I've got not much to add of value other than what those have already offered.
Reach out to close friends and family and probably stay "off the grid" for a while, no Facebook or Internet to make things worse.
Good luck with the test!
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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