Dear Admissions Committees (A Poem)

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blackbird7

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Dear Admissions Committees,

I wish I could tell you what it felt like to be rejected.

I wish I could tell you what it felt like
to lose sleep and relationships
to study, volunteer, and spend nights in the lab
to sacrifice everything
knowing one day
it would be worth it

medicine was a calling, not a career

I wish I could tell you what it felt like to package myself up in a box labeled FRAGILE
to ship myself out with my story
and tell you things I never told others
to wake up every damn day for a year
hoping I’d be good enough
to receive interview after interview
but to then be waitlisted
passed over
damaged goods

I wish I could tell you what it felt like to admit you didn’t want me
to tell my friends and family
the ones I stood up
for the library
the ones I ignored
to take a practice MCAT on Christmas
instead of sitting at the table
which has since
shrunken

I wish I could tell you what it feels to like to reapply
with the shadow of last time
to have done more things to show you I’m worth it
that I deserve to be given a chance
when I’m really still the same

I wish I could tell you what it feels like to want to be a doctor
the way I want to be a doctor
with a thirst
to be privy to stories I could not imagine living
to connect behind the facades we create
to guide lives through pain and into health
to alleviate their suffering
and potentially my own


I wish I could give up.
I wish I didn’t need your approval.
I wish my future did not depend on you.

But I can’t.
And I do.
And It does.

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Melodramatic is the word I would use to sum up this piece.
 
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Members don't see this ad :)
Everybody needs to vent.
 
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The poem is actually quite good
 
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The above poem reminded me of my favorite haiku by Kobayashi Issa:

A world of dew
And within every dewdrop
A world of struggle

There is something quite beautiful about how Issa captured the endeavors of life in just a few lines.
 
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Okay most if this is garbage but there are some pretty legit verses in here, and I hate poetry.
 
Choices were made. That choices made might not produce tangible, hoped for results is not the fault of the adcoms. Most of them are probably physicians and/or have been rejected at one time. It is presumptuous to think they don't have a heart or understand.
 
Sweet poem, OP... What were your stats?
 
"I wish I could tell you what it felt like to package myself up in a box labeled FRAGILE"

I kinda... really empathize with this.

I hated the required adversity essays for that reason. To craft my own suffering in a 500 word box for the judgement and approval of a distant, faceless adcom is a strange thing.


Well yes. To share something intimate and painful and not feel that sharing such (a) private experience/s was like bartering part of one's soul. It may be OK to share some kinds of adversities. A theme such as: You came. You struggled. You lost. You struggled again, and then you conquered.

The more you live, the more frequent and sometimes more intimate and intensely painful these experiences become. That's why Tolstoy saved the good stuff for War and Peace. It's why Dostoevsky saved so much of his richness for Crime and Punishment, and The Idiot, and too many others to mentions now. But there are other kinds of difficulties that can be given justice and not somehow cheapened or diminished in 500 words or less.
 
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The above poem reminded me of my favorite haiku by Kobayashi Issa:

A world of dew
And within every dewdrop
A world of struggle

There is something quite beautiful about how Issa captured the endeavors of life in just a few lines.

To which I reply with William Blake (from Auguries of Innocence):

To see a World in a grain of sand,
And Heaven in a wild flower,
Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand,
And Eternity in an hour.…


Sad that this is mostly what is remembered from his full paradoxical, poetic work. I find paradoxes intriguing and yet sublime. (Eh, I was obsessed with Advance British Lit in HS, lol)
 
1st time reading this forum. That poem was definitely one of the most depressing things I've read recently. I understand its venting and I don't know how pervasive these thoughts are but let me comment on what struck me the most.

"I wish I could give up.
I wish I didn’t need your approval.
I wish my future did not depend on you.

But I can’t.
And I do.
And It does."

You don't need admissions committees approval for yourself as a person. You don't. Absolutely you do not. 100% promising you this.

Also if taking care of sick people is truly the only thing you find satisfaction in there are MANY careers besides physician that you can find very rewarding (PA, NP, Nurse, pharmacist, tons of others). The way medicine is going pretty much everyone is a cog in the healthcare wheel with specific jobs relating to patient care. You are directly involved in making sick people better in probably 10+ different careers.

Getting into medical school is really difficult. Medical school is really difficult. Residency is really difficult and practicing as a physician can be really difficult. Not getting into medical school is MUCH better than failing out of medical school or going to the Caribbean and being one that ultimately does not become a physician because they can't find residency.

I just hate to see people beat themselves up like this.

PS I'm just going to throw this out there as I didn't see it before: If you are getting many interviews and getting waitlisted they probably sense emotional issues. Depression is a primary cause of people failing out of medical school and adcoms know this. The stress of medical school can bring about all kinds of underlying issues.
 
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I wish I could tell you what it felt like to package myself up in a box labeled FRAGILE

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Dear Admissions Committees,

I wish I could tell you what it felt like to be rejected.

I wish I could tell you what it felt like
to lose sleep and relationships
to study, volunteer, and spend nights in the lab
to sacrifice everything
knowing one day
it would be worth it

medicine was a calling, not a career

I wish I could tell you what it felt like to package myself up in a box labeled FRAGILE
to ship myself out with my story
and tell you things I never told others
to wake up every damn day for a year
hoping I’d be good enough
to receive interview after interview
but to then be waitlisted
passed over
damaged goods

I wish I could tell you what it felt like to admit you didn’t want me
to tell my friends and family
the ones I stood up
to sit in the library when my school won the championship
the ones I ignored
to take a practice MCAT on Christmas
instead of sitting at the table
which has since
shrunken

I wish I could tell you what it feels to like to reapply
with the shadow of last time
to have done more things to show you I’m worth it
that I deserve to be given a chance
when I’m really still the same

I wish I could tell you what it feels like to want to be a doctor
the way I want to be a doctor
with a thirst
to be privy to stories I could not imagine living
to connect behind the facades we create
to guide lives through pain and into health
to alleviate their suffering
and potentially my own


I wish I could give up.
I wish I didn’t need your approval.
I wish my future did not depend on you.

But I can’t.
And I do.
And It does.
Man.. I don't know you personally but I can relate to giving it your all and not being accepted. I encourage you to reapply, you seem like you are extremely passionate about medicine. I wish you all the very best.
 
Seriously, do not give up. I lived by not taking "no" for an answer. If I had, I would not be where I am today.

Live by proving people wrong. If this is your dream, you keep going for it. No matter the opposition.

I was a re-applicant, I went through the hordes of rejection while my mother had breast cancer and I lost 3 family members. In the moment, yes one can think about giving up.

Now, 3 years in, I'm so glad I didn't. I wouldn't trade what I have for the world.

And when you get there, neither should you.

Do. Not. Give. Up.
 
Dear Admissions Committees,

I wish I could tell you what it felt like to be rejected.

I wish I could tell you what it felt like
to lose sleep and relationships
to study, volunteer, and spend nights in the lab
to sacrifice everything
knowing one day
it would be worth it

medicine was a calling, not a career

I wish I could tell you what it felt like to package myself up in a box labeled FRAGILE
to ship myself out with my story
and tell you things I never told others
to wake up every damn day for a year
hoping I’d be good enough
to receive interview after interview
but to then be waitlisted
passed over
damaged goods

I wish I could tell you what it felt like to admit you didn’t want me
to tell my friends and family
the ones I stood up
for the library
the ones I ignored
to take a practice MCAT on Christmas
instead of sitting at the table
which has since
shrunken

I wish I could tell you what it feels to like to reapply
with the shadow of last time
to have done more things to show you I’m worth it
that I deserve to be given a chance
when I’m really still the same

I wish I could tell you what it feels like to want to be a doctor
the way I want to be a doctor
with a thirst
to be privy to stories I could not imagine living
to connect behind the facades we create
to guide lives through pain and into health
to alleviate their suffering
and potentially my own


I wish I could give up.
I wish I didn’t need your approval.
I wish my future did not depend on you.

But I can’t.
And I do.
And It does.

Be like me and be a cup half-full type of person. By not getting into medical school, you are avoiding a tremendous amount of debt and a failing healthcare system.
 
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