Depression... Time to Quit (Again)?

[BSLisBull]

Hello all,

I have suffered from mental health issues for several years now, basically ever since I began my trek of pre-vet. However, things are now worse than ever, and I'm wondering if it is time for me to give up on this dream.

I have been in undergrad for about 6 years now. I had to stop and take a year off due to my depression and suicidal thoughts, and therefore took a medical leave. I have since enrolled in another school. But now every time I hit a road block or am struggling with classes it is exhausting to keep going. I exhaust so much energy "fighting my demons" (which basically translates to me not doing anything stupid- thank you to my dogs), and what energy I do have left to study is minimal. Quite frankly, I'm tired... mentally, physically, and emotionally. I'm tired of living like this, and it is always the pre-vet classes that bring out the worst of my thoughts.

At this point I feel as if I have no options. Basically I see nothing for myself or my future. I'm disappointed for having little to nothing to show from all of my tiresome work in undergrad but I doubt I can keep working towards classes that bring out the worst in me. When I was home and working, it was as if my depression went away, but it always creeps back with these classes.

Any advice is appreciated. I'm also open to any possible Animal Science career options, and how to break the news to my parents who are continuously disappointed in me for never finishing anything. They consistently sweep my depression issues under the rug, including when I was having suicidal thoughts. (They go for the "ignore it and hope it goes away" approach.)

Thank you in advance.

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[AlphaBeta<3]

Hello all,

I have suffered from mental health issues for several years now, basically ever since I began my trek of pre-vet. However, things are now worse than ever, and I'm wondering if it is time for me to give up on this dream.

I have been in undergrad for about 6 years now. I had to stop and take a year off due to my depression and suicidal thoughts, and therefore took a medical leave. I have since enrolled in another school. But now every time I hit a road block or am struggling with classes it is exhausting to keep going. I exhaust so much energy "fighting my demons" (which basically translates to me not doing anything stupid- thank you to my dogs), and what energy I do have left to study is minimal. Quite frankly, I'm tired... mentally, physically, and emotionally. I'm tired of living like this, and it is always the pre-vet classes that bring out the worst of my thoughts.

At this point I feel as if I have no options. Basically I see nothing for myself or my future. I'm disappointed for having little to nothing to show from all of my tiresome work in undergrad but I doubt I can keep working towards classes that bring out the worst in me. When I was home and working, it was as if my depression went away, but it always creeps back with these classes.

Any advice is appreciated. I'm also open to any possible Animal Science career options, and how to break the news to my parents who are continuously disappointed in me for never finishing anything. They consistently sweep my depression issues under the rug, including when I was having suicidal thoughts. (They go for the "ignore it and hope it goes away" approach.)

Thank you in advance.

Yeah time to quit
If you liked working, just go back to doing that. It doesn't matter as long as you're actually happy

 

[Skydive Fox]

Have you consulted with a psychologist, therapist, or anyone from your school's Wellness Center? Quitting isn't going to cure your depression or magically make you a happier person. I'd recommend getting the help you need and deserve before making any big decisions, especially after investing so much time into this. You're capable of a lot more than you might realize, and there's no shame in getting help along the way

 

[hazelmoo]

I don't think quitting on your dream is going to make yourself happier. NOTHING is going to make you happier until you seek professional help. I recently started going to counseling (group and individual), and started on antidepressants. It has helped immensely. Yes, stress is going to make things more difficult for anyone, but it makes things almost impossible with depression. I understand. Starting to get help is the hardest part, but once you do, it makes a ton of difference.

 

[BSLisBull]

I don't think quitting on your dream is going to make yourself happier. NOTHING is going to make you happier until you seek professional help. I recently started going to counseling (group and individual), and started on antidepressants. It has helped immensely. Yes, stress is going to make things more difficult for anyone, but it makes things almost impossible with depression. I understand. Starting to get help is the hardest part, but once you do, it makes a ton of difference.

I have been to the school's Counseling Center, Local Therapists and Psychiatrists, as well as being prescribed various antidepressants (along with medication for insomnia). So far, I haven't found much of anything that has helped, except for not actually being in school.

 

[Jess Monster]

How close are you to finishing your bachelor's?

 

[BSLisBull]

How close are you to finishing your bachelor's?

I have a year left with the worst classes remaining, but I'm struggling to just finish this semester itself.

 

[Skydive Fox]

I have been to the school's Counseling Center, Local Therapists and Psychiatrists, as well as being prescribed various antidepressants (along with medication for insomnia). So far, I haven't found much of anything that has helped, except for not actually being in school.

It sounds like you've already made up your mind but just want us to assure you that it's the right decision. From one person who's been through dark times as well, I would really caution you against making major life decisions while depressed. If I had caved into all the thoughts of giving up that I used to have when depressed, I'd be living a life of regrets. Try different approaches to therapy, perhaps. If there's life, there's always hope.

 

[deleted676737]

I have been to the school's Counseling Center, Local Therapists and Psychiatrists, as well as being prescribed various antidepressants (along with medication for insomnia). So far, I haven't found much of anything that has helped, except for not actually being in school.

First and foremost, I'm sorry to hear that these options have not helped. I, too, have clinical depression and recurrent suicidal ideation. It's improved a lot over the past few years through medication and some life changes, but it's been rocky. I understand how hard it can be.

I don't think vet school is a good option for you right now. Blunt, I know, but if you're truly feeling this burnt out and exhausted by your undergrad courses, then I seriously question your ability to handle the vet curriculum at this time. That is not to say that you can't take a break to get your mental health in order and then come back to it down the line, but... from what I know, vet school is a very high stress environment -- leagues above undergrad for most people -- and has a way of beating down even the most stable of minds and make them question what they're doing and why they're there in the first place.

Now, depending on how close you are to finishing your bachelors, you could definitely continue to aim towards that if you're close and feel that you can handle it. But if simply being in class is causing you this much stress... I don't know, man. It's a tough spot. I would almost recommend taking another leave to try to get things in order, because this sounds like a potentially very serious hinderance to your academic success, let alone your mental well-being. I don't think it's time to "quit", necessarily, but you need to figure out the health issues, for your own sake. That's far more important currently than any schooling or future plans.

I wish you the best of luck in figuring things out. Trust me when I say that mental illness is no stranger to the vet med community. It's hard, I know.

ETA: As I was writing, you posted that you've got a year of what sounds like your pre-reqs left, which gives me the impression that you're pretty close to finishing. Honestly, I think only you know your limits and can decide if it's worth holding out for that. Regardless of what you choose to do, I urge you to continue seeking treatment options.

 

[pinkpuppy9]

Hello all,

I have suffered from mental health issues for several years now, basically ever since I began my trek of pre-vet. However, things are now worse than ever, and I'm wondering if it is time for me to give up on this dream.

I have been in undergrad for about 6 years now. I had to stop and take a year off due to my depression and suicidal thoughts, and therefore took a medical leave. I have since enrolled in another school. But now every time I hit a road block or am struggling with classes it is exhausting to keep going. I exhaust so much energy "fighting my demons" (which basically translates to me not doing anything stupid- thank you to my dogs), and what energy I do have left to study is minimal. Quite frankly, I'm tired... mentally, physically, and emotionally. I'm tired of living like this, and it is always the pre-vet classes that bring out the worst of my thoughts.

At this point I feel as if I have no options. Basically I see nothing for myself or my future. I'm disappointed for having little to nothing to show from all of my tiresome work in undergrad but I doubt I can keep working towards classes that bring out the worst in me. When I was home and working, it was as if my depression went away, but it always creeps back with these classes.

Any advice is appreciated. I'm also open to any possible Animal Science career options, and how to break the news to my parents who are continuously disappointed in me for never finishing anything. They consistently sweep my depression issues under the rug, including when I was having suicidal thoughts. (They go for the "ignore it and hope it goes away" approach.)

Thank you in advance.

My family is the same way, and all three of their children have suffered from varying mental illnesses, some pretty severe. Do you have a sibling, close friend, cousin, anyone you can confide in? To me, the most important thing is having a support system for you right now. If your parents can't do that for you, you have every right to choose not to deal with that. That's what my sisters and I have done, and honestly we're better off. Maybe things can be repaired in the future...but that's for another discussion.

I don't think you necessarily have to give up on vet school completely, but you need to get these issues under control before you go and be confident that you have a handle on them. I thought I had my issues under control, and they've definitely reared their ugly heads already. Message me if you want to chat privately, I'm always happy to talk.

Is it possible for you to take 1-2 classes at a time to help lessen your stress? I understand you feel like you've been in undergrad forever, but if you think less stress all at once could help it's worth a shot.

One more suggestion: It sounds like your situation is pretty severe. Have you considered inpatient rehab? It's not just for drug abuse.

 

[WhtsThFrequency]

BSL, are you absolutely sure it is the classwork itself? Or something that goes along with it? For example, do you find yourself being more socially isolated when you are in school? In which case, that might be a large contributor instead of the work itself.

Also, have you ever thought of going to a group therapy? I say this as someone who went through both undergrad and vet school with a lot of mental health struggles and lots of individual therapy that did jack ****...but group (as much as I was convinced I was going to HATE it) was absolutely wonderful for me. Who'da thunk it.

 

[yugen]

I have been to the school's Counseling Center, Local Therapists and Psychiatrists, as well as being prescribed various antidepressants (along with medication for insomnia). So far, I haven't found much of anything that has helped, except for not actually being in school.

In addition to all the great advice people have already given above, and perhaps you've already done this, but maybe consider getting some bloodwork done and making sure all your lab values are where they should be. I have a condition that has an emotional/depressive component when not regulated.

 

[cdo96]

My family is the same way, and all three of their children have suffered from varying mental illnesses, some pretty severe. Do you have a sibling, close friend, cousin, anyone you can confide in? To me, the most important thing is having a support system for you right now. If your parents can't do that for you, you have every right to choose not to deal with that. That's what my sisters and I have done, and honestly we're better off.

I don't have sisters, but I have a cousin who's schizophrenic, and so we're each other's support system. I reach out to her when the depression/ suicidal thoughts come back up, and she reaches out to me when her schizophrenia is bad. It really really helps to have a good support system. And dogs. My dog saved my life, so I owe him everything.


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[pinkpuppy9]

I don't have sisters, but I have a cousin who's schizophrenic, and so we're each other's support system. I reach out to her when the depression/ suicidal thoughts come back up, and she reaches out to me when her schizophrenia is bad. It really really helps to have a good support system. And dogs. My dog saved my life, so I owe him everything.


Sent from my iPhone using SDN mobile

That's great. Sometimes you can't get the same connection going to therapy. Sometimes you really just need someone who gets it.

 

[genny]

Hello all,

At this point I feel as if I have no options. Basically I see nothing for myself or my future.

That sounds like the depression talking. Quit school. Do things that make you feel better. Figure out why those things make you feel better. Vet med will be there later if you really want it to be; people do get their DVMs in their 40's or beyond.

As for telling your parents, it may seem that they're disappointed in you for not finishing, but they're probably just at a loss for what to do. I'd bet that they hate seeing you unhappy, and they don't know how to help you get better, and their frustration with their own ineffectiveness probably comes across as disappointment. So help them help you by asking for what you need in specific terms. It doesn't have to be big things, it can be stuff you're just too overwhelmed to deal with so you've been avoiding it, like making a doctor's appointment.

 

[that redhead]

When I was home and working, it was as if my depression went away, but it always creeps back with these classes.

In that case, I think it is absolutely in your best interest to do the things that allow you to live a happy, healthy life. I wouldn't look at it as quitting or giving up your dream, but prioritizing your well-being. Very respectable thing to do - I hope your parents can see that.

 

[lianali]

I have a year left with the worst classes remaining, but I'm struggling to just finish this semester itself.

As someone who pushed through so many issues in undergrad (10 years!) to complete her bachelor's degree, I deeply regret it. My undergraduate GPA (2.98) is abysmal and it hurts my chances to get into vet school. There's pretty much no way I can improve my undergraduate GPA because I did not do well on so many classes. I've looked at the math, and there are so many cutoff points I won't pass because of that undergraduate GPA. That time in my life does not reflect my capabilities as a student, I was struggling with situational depression and trying to recover from a toxic family situation and learn what it meant to be an adult. Now, over a decade after I started college? I'm about to graduate with my master's in public health with a 3.92 GPA. I'm on the waitlist for one school, and preparing myself for the next round of vet school applications. I'm in a better place, but it seriously took me years to get there.

If a professional degree, such as a DVM or MD, is what you want to pursue, then it is probably in your best interest to take time off and take care of yourself. You can always go back to finish your bachelor's degree, and it will look tons better on your transcript if that last year shows vast improvement in your academic performance. A lot of vet schools look at the last 45 and your science GPA. What is harder to fix is taking enough credits to raise a not-competitive undergraduate GPA. Best of luck to you, and just know I'm rooting for you.


ETA - for what it's worth, it appears to be easier to get into a decent PhD program if you don't have a stellar undergraduate GPA. Such has been the experience of my peers who got a Master's degree and have applied to PhD programs.

 

[BirdsinMyHouse]

Take care of yourself first and foremost. Vet school can wait. YOU matter more than your schooling, no matter what anyone else says.

First, see to the depression. It sounds like you're not feeling great right now, and I want you to know you're not alone. We're all here for you, supporting you and wanting to help if we can. Sometimes you have to try different meds for a while, or different therapists. The key is to keep trying until you find something that sticks. I used cognitive behavioral therapy and it worked really well for me. Talk to counselors again, if need be.

Think of it this way: depression is the same as any other medical condition. No one would think twice about you seeking treatment for a bleeding wound or cancer, so no one should think twice about you getting help for depression. I know too well that parents sometimes want us to "get over it," but they would not ask the same if you had parkinson's, or some other brain disease. Depression is a biological disease syndrome. It can be treated, and it's just as serious as any other medical problem.

I ended up hospitalized for anxiety and it was maybe the best decision I made; it expedited treatment, med changes, etc and gave me access to great resources very quickly. I am feeling tons better now. If you feel you need treatment sooner rather than later, get treatment, even if it means going to the hospital. Trust me, it's not bad.

Self-care is so important! Remember, you're not necessarily giving up on a dream, you're just taking a break to take care of yourself.

 

[twelvetigers]

Being a vet student is depressing - it's a struggle. Being a vet can be depressing too. It's all hard. If you have trouble with undergrad, I don't think it would be any better as you progressed - if anything, it would be worse.

You can stop and take time to get your stuff in order. If you find that you really want it later, you can try again. There is time.

Don't stop trying different treatments and therapies when you need to. Sometimes it takes a while to find something that 'clicks'.

 

[EngrSC]

First, see to the depression. It sounds like you're not feeling great right now, and I want you to know you're not alone. We're all here for you, supporting you and wanting to help if we can. Sometimes you have to try different meds for a while, or different therapists. The key is to keep trying until you find something that sticks. I used cognitive behavioral therapy and it worked really well for me. Talk to counselors again, if need be.

Ditto, I used cognitive behavioral therapy as well. I struggled with depression and didn't see a vast improvement until I tackled my anxiety in CBT. I needed something proactive and it drastically changed my life. I know it doesn't work for everyone but it's worth looking into. And second what everyone else has said - your health (mental, physical & emotional) comes first!

 

[lioness2408]

Another thing I think that's important to note is the fact that vet med is consistently quoted as one of the professions with the highest suicide rates, right alongside doctors and dentists. With this in mind, you should probably consider if a career-long stream of potentially stressful and emotionally-draining situations is something that you could handle, or something that would even be safe for you to try. From what you're saying right now it seems like you don't have a good handle on your depression currently; therefore, I think that vet school is a path that you need to hold off on pursuing at least until you are able to get your condition under control and develop tools and strategies for managing your condition.

 

[rockatiel]

BSLisBull.. First off love the name
I agree with everything said. Your wellbeing comes first. If at all possible, vet school can wait.

I feel like a bit of a hypocrite saying that. My parents aren't letting me wait. I think one of my biggest fears of going into school is not having a break. I've had the worst year of my life basically and it has broken me down a lot. but I think I'm finally ready to tell someone how I'm feeling and for that reason I'm starting therapy very soon (tomorrow soon) it's nature for me to internalize everything but you should NEVER do that. Tell someone what you're feeling. Surely there's someone who will listen.

In a way, im kind of hoping moving to a new state and getting away from family issues and certain people may help. But it doesn't mean the way I cope with things will change, which is what I'm most afraid of. I hope from now until June is enough time to at least manage it some. Sigh...

Also, OP you can always inbox me. I'm sure most others on here would offer the same.