Diagnosed with disorganized schizophrenia

[jyulo]

* Hello, if this is the wrong forum please move it. This is my second time writing this, I liked my final product better the first time but alas it did not post properly.


Two years ago I was diagnosed with disorganized schizophrenia and it was a living hell. I was living in my mind unable to perform basic tasks and unable to participate in the most basic of conversations after just finishing my first two semesters of college. My onset was very rapid and to this day I unfortunately cannot identify or pinpoint what triggered it only that I would not wish it upon the worst of enemies. For the first month in summer I refused to go see a psychiatrist until I was forced to (luckily) by my family. He diagnosed me with disorganized schizophrenia because of my inability to converse and perform daily activities and prescribed appropriate medication. I took this medication sporadically at best in fear and disdain of my diagnosis along with the rapid weight gain. Eventually my family again forced me to voluntarily commit myself two times for 7 days over the course of a month into summer. Being in the psychiatric hospital and knowing I was the least communicative and worst off along with my refusal to take medication eventually made me spiral down to intensely suicidal thoughts. After 3 weeks a friend of mine called the cops on me in my apartment that I locked myself in for a month without leaving ( Like Howard Hughes in the movie the Aviator) and was taken to the hospital. I was involuntarily committed and sent to the same psychiatric hospital I was previously voluntarily committed to for 7 days . Eventually, after taking the medication I was able to recover in two months and have been indescribably grateful every day to have my cognitive abilities back. When I was sick, I imagined it as a terminal illness where I would be living in my head/uncommunicative for the rest of my life. Being able to even write this very sentence for you is infinitely more that I thought I could do in the future when I was sick.


Now, that I am compliant I fear that the goal of medical school I was aiming for when I finished my first year right before my onset is out of the question. The stigma of my mental illness along with the seriousness of the involuntary hold (if it shows up on my background check) will instantly make medical school admissions deny me. I have not even told my psychiatrist (who has seen my improvement from the beginning) about this desire to attend medical school (which I now feel stronger) in fear of what he would say, even though I realize he might be supportive. Whenever I think of my situation, I have a whimsical feeling that me having this condition would help me better identify with patients that have similar mental illnesses but I feel that this is not grounded in reality. I also realize that many doctors from my city that I attend college saw me two years ago and remember my condition. I am proud that I recovered and do not mind them seeing me but I cannot say the same for them (if they are comfortable around me) so I have not volunteered because of that. I would like to know educated opinions on if it is possible that this situation was a blessing in disguise or a fatal derailment of a path to medical school. Thank you for your time.

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[zipnogg]

* Hello, if this is the wrong forum please move it. This is my second time writing this, I liked my final product better the first time but alas it did not post properly.


Two years ago I was diagnosed with disorganized schizophrenia and it was a living hell. I was living in my mind unable to perform basic tasks and unable to participate in the most basic of conversations after just finishing my first two semesters of college. My onset was very rapid and to this day I unfortunately cannot identify or pinpoint what triggered it only that I would not wish it upon the worst of enemies. For the first month in summer I refused to go see a psychiatrist until I was forced to (luckily) by my family. He diagnosed me with disorganized schizophrenia because of my inability to converse and perform daily activities and prescribed appropriate medication. I took this medication sporadically at best in fear and disdain of my diagnosis along with the rapid weight gain. Eventually my family again forced me to voluntarily commit myself two times for 7 days over the course of a month into summer. Being in the psychiatric hospital and knowing I was the least communicative and worst off along with my refusal to take medication eventually made me spiral down to intensely suicidal thoughts. After 3 weeks a friend of mine called the cops on me in my apartment that I locked myself in for a month without leaving ( Like Howard Hughes in the movie the Aviator) and was taken to the hospital. I was involuntarily committed and sent to the same psychiatric hospital I was previously voluntarily committed to for 7 days . Eventually, after taking the medication I was able to recover in two months and have been indescribably grateful every day to have my cognitive abilities back. When I was sick, I imagined it as a terminal illness where I would be living in my head/uncommunicative for the rest of my life. Being able to even write this very sentence for you is infinitely more that I thought I could do in the future when I was sick.


Now, that I am compliant I fear that the goal of medical school I was aiming for when I finished my first year right before my onset is out of the question. The stigma of my mental illness along with the seriousness of the involuntary hold (if it shows up on my background check) will instantly make medical school admissions deny me. I have not even told my psychiatrist (who has seen my improvement from the beginning) about this desire to attend medical school (which I now feel stronger) in fear of what he would say, even though I realize he might be supportive. Whenever I think of my situation, I have a whimsical feeling that me having this condition would help me better identify with patients that have similar mental illnesses but I feel that this is not grounded in reality. I also realize that many doctors from my city that I attend college saw me two years ago and remember my condition. I am proud that I recovered and do not mind them seeing me but I cannot say the same for them (if they are comfortable around me) so I have not volunteered because of that. I would like to know educated opinions on if it is possible that this situation was a blessing in disguise or a fatal derailment of a path to medical school. Thank you for your time.

I think it takes courage to decide to pursue your dream despite what you've had to go through.

I have never been in your shoes, so I cannot say that I understand fully what it must be like to contemplate medical school, but here's my take:

You study hard, get the grades, and kill the MCAT. You got this. This would make a great personal statement, and you could even shadow your psychiatrist and/or those doctors you know (if they are willing), and could ask them to write letters of rec for you.

However, I would discuss this with your family and also with your psychiatrist. I think it's important to establish clear lines of communication with those around you so that they can offer advice and support when you go through this long, arduous process that is preparing to, getting into, and going through medical school.

Good luck!

 

[Perrotfish]

* Hello, if this is the wrong forum please move it. This is my second time writing this, I liked my final product better the first time but alas it did not post properly.


Two years ago I was diagnosed with disorganized schizophrenia and it was a living hell. I was living in my mind unable to perform basic tasks and unable to participate in the most basic of conversations after just finishing my first two semesters of college. My onset was very rapid and to this day I unfortunately cannot identify or pinpoint what triggered it only that I would not wish it upon the worst of enemies. For the first month in summer I refused to go see a psychiatrist until I was forced to (luckily) by my family. He diagnosed me with disorganized schizophrenia because of my inability to converse and perform daily activities and prescribed appropriate medication. I took this medication sporadically at best in fear and disdain of my diagnosis along with the rapid weight gain. Eventually my family again forced me to voluntarily commit myself two times for 7 days over the course of a month into summer. Being in the psychiatric hospital and knowing I was the least communicative and worst off along with my refusal to take medication eventually made me spiral down to intensely suicidal thoughts. After 3 weeks a friend of mine called the cops on me in my apartment that I locked myself in for a month without leaving ( Like Howard Hughes in the movie the Aviator) and was taken to the hospital. I was involuntarily committed and sent to the same psychiatric hospital I was previously voluntarily committed to for 7 days . Eventually, after taking the medication I was able to recover in two months and have been indescribably grateful every day to have my cognitive abilities back. When I was sick, I imagined it as a terminal illness where I would be living in my head/uncommunicative for the rest of my life. Being able to even write this very sentence for you is infinitely more that I thought I could do in the future when I was sick.


Now, that I am compliant I fear that the goal of medical school I was aiming for when I finished my first year right before my onset is out of the question. The stigma of my mental illness along with the seriousness of the involuntary hold (if it shows up on my background check) will instantly make medical school admissions deny me. I have not even told my psychiatrist (who has seen my improvement from the beginning) about this desire to attend medical school (which I now feel stronger) in fear of what he would say, even though I realize he might be supportive. Whenever I think of my situation, I have a whimsical feeling that me having this condition would help me better identify with patients that have similar mental illnesses but I feel that this is not grounded in reality. I also realize that many doctors from my city that I attend college saw me two years ago and remember my condition. I am proud that I recovered and do not mind them seeing me but I cannot say the same for them (if they are comfortable around me) so I have not volunteered because of that. I would like to know educated opinions on if it is possible that this situation was a blessing in disguise or a fatal derailment of a path to medical school. Thank you for your time.

You don't need to reveal your medical history to any medical school, and if you don't tell there is no stigma. Your physicians are ethically bound not to discuss your medical history in the context of a board of admissions, they won't rat you out even on the off chance someone affiliated with your local medical school recognizes you. If you have the grades and the ability I think this is still an option. You do need to shadow, find someone who hasn't treated you. An orthopedic surgeon? A nephrologist? Maybe the psychiatrists and er docs in your area know you, but a lot of specialties probably don't

Good luck, its.an inspiring story.

 

[DrBowtie]

I think it takes courage to decide to pursue your dream despite what you've had to go through.

I have never been in your shoes, so I cannot say that I understand fully what it must be like to contemplate medical school, but here's my take:

You study hard, get the grades, and kill the MCAT. You got this. This would make a great personal statement, and you could even shadow your psychiatrist and/or those doctors you know (if they are willing), and could ask them to write letters of rec for you.

However, I would discuss this with your family and also with your psychiatrist. I think it's important to establish clear lines of communication with those around you so that they can offer advice and support when you go through this long, arduous process that is preparing to, getting into, and going through medical school.

Good luck!

Bolded is terrible advice.

 

[Moosepig]

Would you honestly and objectively say that your condition will not affect the level of care you provide your patients? If the answer is yes then go for it with all you've got. If you do get denied everywhere, then you can walk away knowing you gave it all you had.

My older brother has a mental disorder that onset at 19. It is a terrible situation and I admire the strength you have to come through all that and to still dream big.

 

[Lucky Louie]

It is tempting to make your story into your PS for med school, but supposedly your mental illness isn't who "you" are and that's not why you want to become a doctor. Yes, your experience taught you a lot, but you wouldn't tell your patients your own personal story.

Your medical history does not play a role in your acceptance. It should be because you're a smart student, you scored well in your MCAT, and you're focused in your desire to become a doctor. My brother is a diabetic and while he takes meds, he has never been asked about his medical history for any job or school.

 

[Aerus]

Bolded is terrible advice.

Agree with this. Don't put it in a personal statement.

 

[drizzt3117]

http://www.fspag.org/7.html

Might be worth reading.

 

[sliceofbread136]

First off, conrats on getting your disorder under control. Keeping it under control should always be your first priority. I've spent quite alot of time around psychiatric treatment centers and I have heard so many horror stories of psychiatirc patients who decide to stop taking their medication. Please do not be one of those stories.

Anywho, my advice is to start reading the what are my chances threads to get a feel of what makes a strong applicant. Ease yourself into school with some simple classes and find yourself some good study habits (look up some and don't be afraid to experiment). When you've built a strong application and start applying I would mention your previous mental troubles sparingly and vaguely as possible.

 

[drizzt3117]

Also http://www.black-bile.com/resources/98+Miles+JAMA+280+$2810$29+865+POMM.pdf

 

[jyulo]

Agree with this. Don't put it in a personal statement.

To be honest I have not even contemplated portions of medical admissions like personal statements/letters of recommendations. I am at the point where I am simply looking if it is feasible for a person who has an involuntary commitment history to even be looked at by an admissions council or if my experience is best geared toward another profession.

 

[jyulo]

Also http://www.black-bile.com/resources/98+Miles+JAMA+280+$2810$29+865+POMM.pdf

And this is exactly what scares me, and I would imagine many others who are afflicted with a mental illness. His just seemed to be a simple case of depression that was only between his provider and him, unlike mine where an er full of nurses and doctors that could see me at the affiliated medical school I would attend causing liscencing issues as described in both links. Luckily, I did not have to work at the time so not many people know what happened to me but I can completely understand the high rate of physcian suicide who are too afraid to seek appropriate mental health help in fear of liscensing consequences.

 

[Jas1360]

To be honest I have not even contemplated portions of medical admissions like personal statements/letters of recommendations. I am at the point where I am simply looking if it is feasible for a person who has an involuntary commitment history to even be looked at by an admissions council or if my experience is best geared toward another profession.

If I were in your situation I think the first think I would do is pick a random medical school I have no interest in attending and contact them. I might even use an alias and a different email so I would not be identified later. Then I would simply state my medical condition and ask if it is feasible.

The only reason for concealing identity is so that if they say, yes it is possible, I would not necessarily want to be identified by my condition when I got to the application process. But you could also ask in the same email, how much information would be necessary to reveal assuming you applied and how much information would be considered too much information.

 

[zipnogg]

Bolded is terrible advice.

I figured since it'll be on his records, he might as well own up to it. But I see that I misread that part of what he wrote.

 

[Laurlaur]

First off, congratulations on your recovery. I know that committing to treatment and staying committed can be incredibly hard, especially initially, so kudos. And as somebody who has suffered and recovered from major depression, I know how the recovery process can teach you so much. I wrote about my depression in my personal statement. If that makes me damaged goods or makes me an unappealing candidate, then whatever. My illness played a big part in my life and my inspiration to be a doctor, and it would feel disingenuous to leave such an experience out of an essay about exactly that. I know a lot of people misunderstand mental illness, but if you want to be a doctor, I personally think that you should go for it! It sounds like you're head and heart are in the right place. I wouldn't focus on what the "ideal" candidate is; you shouldn't change yourself just to look good on paper. Embrace your experiences and growth, and best of luck with whatever you decide to do!

 

[jyulo]

If I were in your situation I think the first think I would do is pick a random medical school I have no interest in attending and contact them. I might even use an alias and a different email so I would not be identified later. Then I would simply state my medical condition and ask if it is feasible.

The only reason for concealing identity is so that if they say, yes it is possible, I would not necessarily want to be identified by my condition when I got to the application process. But you could also ask in the same email, how much information would be necessary to reveal assuming you applied and how much information would be considered too much information.

This is a good idea. I will try this, thank you.

 

[threnodyk]

DO
Talk to your medical team about the health challenges, whether they think you could cope, and what plan you should have in place to maximize ability to get through med school
Talk to a lawyer about the background check issue

Do NOT
Contact a medical school anonymously. Their legal dept will not let them answer honestly. They will not tell an anonymous person that they'd discriminate against an applicant due to medical history, and it would be a horrible idea to ask under your real name (plus the legal stuff would still apply).
Do NOT under any circumstances use your experience as the basis for your application. Oblique references might be necessary , but saying "schizophrenia" or "serious illness" or anything that cues them in to the fact that it is ongoing would be a terrible idea.

 

[threnodyk]

Also, you might find Elyn Saks's book "The Center Cannot Hold" interesting. It's about her experiences getting through Yale Law School and being a successful academic and lawyer with schizophrenia.

 

[Textbookversion]

You may face difficulty securing a medical license.

You may also face difficulty surviving the medical training process. Stress levels can be high, sleep schedules erratic and sleep hygiene poor--all of which can exacerbate underlying psychiatric issues and make taking medication at the proper regular intervals more difficult.

There are many rewarding careers that you can pursue, if you were my friend I'd recommend something other than medicine.