- Joined
- Jun 2, 2014
- Messages
- 43
- Reaction score
- 20
Last edited:
don't worry about this thread
- Thread starter mike1234594
- Start date
- Joined
- Jun 17, 2014
- Messages
- 63,099
- Reaction score
- 154,727
You probably should get new friends. As they say, with friends like that, who needs enemies?
- Joined
- Jun 16, 2014
- Messages
- 230
- Reaction score
- 263
Definitely time for new friends. It sounds like your (ex) "best friend" is a master manipulator and a bully. I wouldn't bother confronting him/her; you might just give him/her more ammunition with which to attack you.
Also I don't think this was the wrong place to post that. I think we all need to vent a little bit sometimes.
Also I don't think this was the wrong place to post that. I think we all need to vent a little bit sometimes.
- Joined
- Sep 9, 2014
- Messages
- 1,922
- Reaction score
- 2,656
This thread worries me. Especially given the above two posts.
- Joined
- Jul 8, 2014
- Messages
- 532
- Reaction score
- 565
PANIC!!
- Joined
- Feb 2, 2011
- Messages
- 233
- Reaction score
- 206
You have friends who try to freak you out before a major event where you must perform well, who delight in what they think are your failures, who record *and then transmits* drunken confessions. I think your definition of "friend" is different than mine though admit that I have had friends like this. They are largely ex-friends. If I hadn't had these friends back when I was getting my first Bachelor's... well. The past is written.
My friends now? We lift one another up without false positivity, clean each other up after the bad fighting rounds, and encourage each other to get back in the ring for the next round and keep excelling till we win the fight. We work together to solve our problems instead of exulting that no one's "ahead" of anyone (seriously, the person who is happy when you don't perform well on a certain test is not your friend). As a result we are greater than the sum of our parts - and we are watching as we redefine what success consists of for each of us while people who told us "oh, a _____ like you could never be _insert whatever mark for success is being used_."
I recognize that I'm reading this after your edit, but as it reads now you might want to investigate getting new friends. These don't sound like friends, they just sound like people you know.
ETA: Wow, I'm a total mompants tonight.
My friends now? We lift one another up without false positivity, clean each other up after the bad fighting rounds, and encourage each other to get back in the ring for the next round and keep excelling till we win the fight. We work together to solve our problems instead of exulting that no one's "ahead" of anyone (seriously, the person who is happy when you don't perform well on a certain test is not your friend). As a result we are greater than the sum of our parts - and we are watching as we redefine what success consists of for each of us while people who told us "oh, a _____ like you could never be _insert whatever mark for success is being used_."
I recognize that I'm reading this after your edit, but as it reads now you might want to investigate getting new friends. These don't sound like friends, they just sound like people you know.
ETA: Wow, I'm a total mompants tonight.
It's funny how our "friends" and probably 90% of people on this site get very excited somewhere deep down or at the surface when their peers are rejected or fail at something. Don't give that guy any ammo , is he also trying to get into med school or something ? seems you threaten him in some way, to elicit this response.
- Joined
- Feb 2, 2011
- Messages
- 233
- Reaction score
- 206
For the most part we parted ways and I don't deal with them. There's been life under the bridge and in most cases physical distance as we went different ways. In one case, the person in question has, well, some issues that haven't changed since then, yet lives states away. She has times when she's the friend she could be, the person I became friends with initially. I enjoy having contact with her then, and when she's not being that friend she's easy to ignore because the "delete comment" function on FB can be really useful along with not following her profile.
Where physical distance isn't possible, I keep contact as light and cordial but as brief as possible if I think the person won't hear me or will brush it off or something when I try to resolve real issues. Eventually, they find out that they didn't *really* want to hang out with me, anyway. For a while, sure, this meant I wasn't hanging out with a lot of people but I was hardly perfect and needed some work too. I did that work and soon made plenty of healthy and supportive friendships. I'm not saying this is the tack you should take, just that this is what I have done and it has worked for me. It doesn't work perfectly but heck, again, I'm not perfect either.
I don't expect everyone I call friend to blow fake sunshine up my skirt but I feel strongly that people who are happy when I don't perform as I hoped on a goal most definitely are not in my "Friend" category.
Where physical distance isn't possible, I keep contact as light and cordial but as brief as possible if I think the person won't hear me or will brush it off or something when I try to resolve real issues. Eventually, they find out that they didn't *really* want to hang out with me, anyway. For a while, sure, this meant I wasn't hanging out with a lot of people but I was hardly perfect and needed some work too. I did that work and soon made plenty of healthy and supportive friendships. I'm not saying this is the tack you should take, just that this is what I have done and it has worked for me. It doesn't work perfectly but heck, again, I'm not perfect either.
I don't expect everyone I call friend to blow fake sunshine up my skirt but I feel strongly that people who are happy when I don't perform as I hoped on a goal most definitely are not in my "Friend" category.
Honestly the best move is to actually keep him close and keep succeeding at what you do. Don't focus on him just yourself and doing the best you can just keep him close enough and at first you'll enjoy the payback as he continues to squirm at your accomplishments soon enough you won't even care and the whole thing will go away, no reason you can't enjoy spoils of victory along the way.
Edit: This approach is great because it allows you to focus on the prize while getting revenge and plausible deniability if anyone actually thought you were being manipulative. A great way to turn this whole thing around on him.
- Joined
- Apr 29, 2011
- Messages
- 2,171
- Reaction score
- 863
tl;dr: Keep your friends close but your enemies closer.
- Joined
- Jun 16, 2014
- Messages
- 230
- Reaction score
- 263
I have to respectfully disagree with @RedSox143 and @justadream . I would be polite but not friendly with this person. I certainly wouldn't keep them close (as I am no expert at deception).
To me, "the best revenge is living well." You need to pick what works best for you, but why waste any more mental energy on this person?
To me, "the best revenge is living well." You need to pick what works best for you, but why waste any more mental energy on this person?
That's essentially what I'm saying tho except with the occasional middle finger along the way lol
- Joined
- Jan 2, 2014
- Messages
- 11,384
- Reaction score
- 24,014
Damn that's inferiority complex central right there
- Joined
- Jun 28, 2014
- Messages
- 74
- Reaction score
- 115
Hmm...all these posts make me worried about this thread.
