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Emergency Medicine Haikus for all to enjoy

Discussion in 'Emergency Medicine' started by Seaglass, Jul 2, 2004.

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  1. Seaglass

    Seaglass Quantum Member

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    For some reason, hours of rounds and chasing K and Mag all day really make me appreciate EM so much more.

    Plus we have this really terrible order entry system that keeps eating my labs.

    So I put together this haiku:

    Damn this Medicine!
    The hours spent chasing vapors -
    I long for the Pit.

    C
  2. Aloha Kid

    Aloha Kid Senior Member

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    Cool poem! For everyones edification, Haiku is one of the most important form of traditional japanese poetry. Haiku is, today, a 17-syllable verse form consisting of three metrical units of 5, 7, and 5 syllables.

    Switch your 2nd and 3rd lines around and you got a winner. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  3. mountebank

    mountebank Member

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    that's funny
  4. roja

    roja

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    :clap::clap::clap:



    Bravo.
  5. NinerNiner999

    NinerNiner999 Senior Member

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    Here's mine...

    Round, round, round all day
    efficiency goes away
    Medicine blows hard.
  6. Hercules

    Hercules Son of Zeus

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    That's awesome! :thumbup: :thumbup:
  7. DMO

    DMO Diving Medical Officer

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    EM

    Vomit on my shoes,
    Getting pimped like no other
    I want my mother
  8. USCDiver

    USCDiver Percocet-R-US

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    Admit, treat, discharge
    No one really improves much
    Long live DNR
  9. roja

    roja

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    Outstanding!
  10. dodobird

    dodobird Junior Member

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    Smells like so much poo
    Doesn't matter what labs say
    She's circling the drain.
  11. USCDiver

    USCDiver Percocet-R-US

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    Differential list
    Is nineteen enough for you?
    It's a UTI!
  12. roja

    roja

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  13. DrQuinn

    DrQuinn My name is Neo Moderator Emeritus

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    Here, have some Mo-feen
    Get addicted, lose your job
    Disability!

    Q, DO
  14. roja

    roja

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    :rolleyes: what a suprise.. a morphine haiku from quinn. ;) :p
  15. DrQuinn

    DrQuinn My name is Neo Moderator Emeritus

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    My Roja Haiku

    Roja of New York
    Ultrasound me please, thank you
    Don't forget condoms

    Q, DO
  16. Seaglass

    Seaglass Quantum Member

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  17. Seaglass

    Seaglass Quantum Member

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    Quinn, can you make the thread title Haiku related?
  18. NateatUC

    NateatUC Senior Member

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    I'm on Peds ER this month, in the non-urgent area, so here's one...

    Check my rash, my throat.
    Let the med student do it.
    Not sick anyway.
  19. roja

    roja

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    You dirty man! I feel violated!

    Harassed!






    Can you do it again? :D
  20. USCDiver

    USCDiver Percocet-R-US

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    Oh now we're not limited to Internal Medicine haiku, eh?

    Pregnant, in labor
    Four hundred pounds of woman
    How did she get laid?
  21. DrQuinn

    DrQuinn My name is Neo Moderator Emeritus

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    hahah great!

    Q, DO
  22. DrQuinn

    DrQuinn My name is Neo Moderator Emeritus

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    House Officer Here
    Give forty of K-C-L
    Damn Potassium!

    Q, DO
  23. DeLaughterDO

    DeLaughterDO Ghost in the Machine

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    these are for all the students in the house...

    Slaving away here
    Post call delirium sucks
    can I go home please?

    Medical student
    why do I have to show up?
    Need to check labs now

    This is FUN!

    jd
  24. aphistis

    aphistis Moderator Emeritus

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    FYI, this is such a great idea I Bogart'ed it for the dental forum. :D
  25. dchristismi

    dchristismi Gin and Tonic

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    Browsing through the threads...
    Snorted coffee out my nose
    I've asked the same thing.
  26. DeLaughterDO

    DeLaughterDO Ghost in the Machine

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    dchristismi and USCDiver,

    LOL!!

    jd
  27. Seaglass

    Seaglass Quantum Member

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    Where's the damn I.V.?
    Nurse DC'd it days ago.
    I'll give it I.M.
  28. DrQuinn

    DrQuinn My name is Neo Moderator Emeritus

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    hahaha, these are so funny. Good thread!

    Q, DO
  29. Seaglass

    Seaglass Quantum Member

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    "Krispy Kreme" units:
    So fat he can't aim his pee -
    Give him a foley.
  30. USCDiver

    USCDiver Percocet-R-US

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    My boy is crying!
    Tell me, is this your first child?
    He's ten days old, ma'am.
  31. USCDiver

    USCDiver Percocet-R-US

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    Inhale, wait, inhale
    Four breaths per minute, doctor!
    Give her some Narcan.
  32. docB

    docB Chronically painful Administrator SDN Senior Moderator Lifetime Donor

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    You are here again.
    There is nothing wrong with you.
    You are here again.
  33. eadysx

    eadysx Senior Member

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    :laugh: :laugh: Well done, very well done. :laugh: :laugh:

    E-
  34. roja

    roja

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    Truely beautiful. Truly. *sniff*
  35. DrQuinn

    DrQuinn My name is Neo Moderator Emeritus

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    Pain everywhere?
    What is your diagnosis?
    Fibromyalgia!

    Fibromyalgia?
    Is it end stage, dear doctor?
    Yes, discharge home now.

    Q, DO
  36. roja

    roja

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    They aren't working you hard enough, my friend.
  37. mikecwru

    mikecwru M.D. = Massive Debt

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    Goddamned C-C-U
    Someone going in VT?
    No, just needs lasix


    1 more call

    mike
  38. trex92499

    trex92499 Senior Member

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    From the Psych ER:

    Have no place to stay?
    Ideation, Voices, Detox
    Hello, Psych Admission
  39. Apollyon

    Apollyon Screw the GST Lifetime Donor

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    5/7/5
  40. trex92499

    trex92499 Senior Member

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    Sorry, a prolonged psych rotation has made me unable to count
  41. docB

    docB Chronically painful Administrator SDN Senior Moderator Lifetime Donor

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    You are hearby granted poetic license.
  42. dksamp

    dksamp Member

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    ER
    God damn drug seeker
    All he wants is percocet
    There's no kidney stone

    Internal Medicine
    Elderly train wreck
    Nursing home is an option
    She is ninety-five

    Pediatrics
    Love that Zithromax
    Treat the parent not the child
    He has a virus

    Psych
    He has ADD
    Give him some amphetamines
    Teacher is happy

    Surgery
    Abdominal pain
    Johnny has decreased bowel sounds
    Let's operate now

    OB/GYN
    I have low back pain
    That is part of pregnancy
    Stat c-section now

    Foreign medical schools
    Med school is abroad
    Sacrifice is four years long
    Better pass your boards

    Radiology
    Normal x-Ray film
    But cannot rule out disease
    Suggest can scan now


    Enjoy :)
  43. DrQuinn

    DrQuinn My name is Neo Moderator Emeritus

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    :clap: :clap:

    Very nice.

    Q
  44. docB

    docB Chronically painful Administrator SDN Senior Moderator Lifetime Donor

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    You have smoked more crack.
    You know that you are pregnant.
    Don't you care at all?
  45. emedpa

    emedpa GlobalDoc2B2015

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    Taking an Away team....
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    You Lost Your Script Dude
    How Is This My Problem Dude
    Call Your Clinic Doc
  46. Apollyon

    Apollyon Screw the GST Lifetime Donor

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    You - shot in the ass
    Quit asking for Percocet
    You'll get a couple
  47. Seaglass

    Seaglass Quantum Member

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    Very nice.
  48. Seaglass

    Seaglass Quantum Member

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    Soft Rule-out MI
    Enzymes times three, AM Stress
    Then you're out the door
  49. Seaglass

    Seaglass Quantum Member

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  50. Apollyon

    Apollyon Screw the GST Lifetime Donor

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    Worked hard (more or less)
    Scumbags, fossils, and dealers.
    Time for some good porn!

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