Engagement Ring in Med School

[BAGG2012]

Hello all,
I am starting M4 and have been shopping for an engagement ring. Like most M4s I don't have a ton of spare cash lying around, and I'm currently staring down the cash sucking haul known as interviews. Is there anyone out there who has been through this and has any enlightenment on how to afford this AND interviews?
Thanks


PS- a CZ is NOT an option... my girl could smell that a mile away

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[Stixman28]

Hello all,
I am starting M4 and have been shopping for an engagement ring. Like most M4s I don't have a ton of spare cash lying around, and I'm currently staring down the cash sucking haul known as interviews. Is there anyone out there who has been through this and has any enlightenment on how to afford this AND interviews?
Thanks


PS- a CZ is NOT an option... my girl could smell that a mile away

credit card with 0% apr for 24 months. u could make 15 dollar payments while in school and really start paying it back next year when u have an income

 

[searun]

Read the obituaries in your local newspaper. When an old lady dies who was a widow - she will often leave her engagement and wedding rings to her heirs. Or sometimes the heirs will just remove the rings from her dead body before she is shipped to the funeral home. Often the heirs just want to liquidate the rings to get some cash.

Figure out how to contact the heirs who are often identified in the published obituary - there is a good chance you can negotiate a really good price.

Also, check the inventory of diamond rings at your local pawn shop - although I think that you will get a better deal going the obituary route! The heirs usually don't know the fair market value of the rings unless they get an appraisal.

 

[D elegans]

Read the obituaries in your local newspaper. When an old lady dies who was a widow - she will often leave her engagement and wedding rings to her heirs. Or sometimes the heirs will just remove the rings from her dead body before she is shipped to the funeral home. Often the heirs just want to liquidate the rings to get some cash.

"It's beautiful! Where did you get it?!"

"Well, it was last taken off the finger of a corpse."

""

 

[Kaustikos]

Read the obituaries in your local newspaper. When an old lady dies who was a widow - she will often leave her engagement and wedding rings to her heirs. Or sometimes the heirs will just remove the rings from her dead body before she is shipped to the funeral home. Often the heirs just want to liquidate the rings to get some cash.

Figure out how to contact the heirs who are often identified in the published obituary - there is a good chance you can negotiate a really good price.

Also, check the inventory of diamond rings at your local pawn shop - although I think that you will get a better deal going the obituary route! The heirs usually don't know the fair market value of the rings unless they get an appraisal.

That may be the best response I have ever heard about getting wedding rings taken care of....

 

[cpants]

Ask around about any family heirlooms. Your grandmother might have an old family ring or diamond she was saving for an occasion like this. So nice to have a family piece as the ring too.

Obviously, the heirloom route might not be an option. Therefore, you need to make a very modest budget and stick to it. You can get a nice, attractive ring for 1-3k. She isn't going to have a 1 carat rock on her finger, and she shouldn't expect it. If she does, you guys aren't ready to be married. Get the financials on the table before engagement.

 

[CaptainSSO]

Ray Boccino recently told me there's a shipment of diamonds coming in. Go find Niko and ya'll can ride around in garbage trucks and pick it up. We'll see if there's wedding ring in there.

 

[Guillemot]

BAG, I can honestly say Im surprised. Never figured you as the marriage type of guy.... You know with how ugly you are and all. Congratulations to you and your fiance!

 

[Jolie South]

Why the need to buy a nice expensive engagement ring now? Does your girlfriend understand the gravity of your current financial situation?

I know you said no CZs but hear me out. IMO, getting her a CZ in a good setting (gold, platinum) that could swapped out with a diamond later is probably the best choice. For me, I'd rather have a fat fake stone than a real small diamond, especially with the promise of a future larger income that would make a dream ring a reality.

Also, is your fiance going to examine your ring with loupes or scratch the stone with another diamond? There are a number of good CZ jewelers that cut them exactly like diamonds so they actually look good and no one will be able to tell in the mean time.

 

[searun]

Why the need to buy a nice expensive engagement ring now? Does your girlfriend understand the gravity of your current financial situation?

I know you said no CZs but hear me out. IMO, getting her a CZ in a good setting (gold, platinum) that could swapped out with a diamond later is probably the best choice. For me, I'd rather have a fat fake stone than a real small diamond, especially with the promise of a future larger income that would make a dream ring a reality.

Also, is your fiance going to examine your ring with loupes or scratch the stone with another diamond? There are a number of good CZ jewelers that cut them exactly like diamonds so they actually look good and no one will be able to tell in the mean time.

Well, you are a breath of fresh air. I wish that all of the girls were as practical as you. But then the BrideZilla Market and the entire economy would probably crash.

 

[TexasPhysician]

I jumped on the family heirloom to give to my wife. Just got it appraised for insurance purposes.

 

[spacecowgirl]

How about a non-diamond center stone? I have a really nice (and large) sapphire. I love it.

Check out the forums on pricescope.com - they have a ton of helpful advice.

 

[metallica81788]

credit card with 0% apr for 24 months. u could make 15 dollar payments while in school and really start paying it back next year when u have an income

I would go with this option. Just make sure you can get one. Or you could find some awesome financing deal with the jewelry store depending on where you buy from. Also make sure you can get approved for that, too.

That's what my plan was before I bought mine, until I realized there was something bad on my credit report I didn't know about. That was an issue.

 

[Geekchick921]

Ask around about any family heirlooms. Your grandmother might have an old family ring or diamond she was saving for an occasion like this. So nice to have a family piece as the ring too.

Obviously, the heirloom route might not be an option. Therefore, you need to make a very modest budget and stick to it. You can get a nice, attractive ring for 1-3k. She isn't going to have a 1 carat rock on her finger, and she shouldn't expect it. If she does, you guys aren't ready to be married. Get the financials on the table before engagement.

If you go to the right place and know what you're talking about when you are negotiating the price, you absolutely can. My center stone is 1.17 carats and while I'm sure it's not flawless, it's beautiful and sparkly and everything I'd ever want. My husband talked them down to under $2K. This was a few years ago but it's still possible to get a nice (simple) ring with a decent sized stone (IMO, that means 0.75+ carats in that price range.

That said, I agree that she should understand your financial limitations right now and any of the above suggestions: heirloom ring (maybe ask her family as well as your own), a smaller stone or CZ with the intention to upgrade later, or a non-diamond center stone are all good ideas, too.

I linked this site before but I think it looks like a really good resource for a hopeful engagement ring buyer to educate themselves on what really makes a good diamond and how to avoid getting hosed. http://www.truthaboutdiamonds.com/truth-about/

 

[Lil Mick]

Also, check the inventory of diamond rings at your local pawn shop - although I think that you will get a better deal going the obituary route! The heirs usually don't know the fair market value of the rings unless they get an appraisal.

Yes, pawn shops will probably have cheaper ones and possibly even cheaper rings with non-diamond stones. Your girlfriend will (should) understand that you are currently a student with massive amounts of debt who will one day not be broke.

Personally, the promise was enough for me when I got engaged--just a string around the finger and a promise of a "proper" ring when the finances were in order... Besides, going with something cheap, you could promise that the future one will be what she wants when there's money for it--can't see anyone disagreeing with that

 

[hrandani]

CZ? This is 2011, baby. Moissanite. How's she going to get upset if she doesn't even know what it is?

 

[Genesea]

My husband got me a tiny diamond ring because that's all he could afford, and I value it above any other engagement ring I have ever seen. I plan on getting another setting down the line but I will always keep the same diamond. It will always remind me of where we came from and how we loved each other even when we were both broke kids. For some girls diamond size matters, but not for everyone.

 

[NickNaylor]

My husband got me a tiny diamond ring because that's all he could afford, and I value it above any other engagement ring I have ever seen. I plan on getting another setting down the line but I will always keep the same diamond. It will always remind me of where we came from and how we loved each other even when we were both broke kids. For some girls diamond size matters, but not for everyone.

I threw up a little.

 

[thespazz]

I threw up a little.

ujelly? I think it's quite nice.

 

[NickNaylor]

ujelly? I think it's quite nice.

Nah I ain't even jelly.

 

[stefspets]

Another vote for moissanite. But, I am the girl and I wanted moissanite because I didn't want my fiance spending a ton on a diamond (and I wanted to be able to see the stone on my finger). He was a fourth year at the time.

Our engagement wasn't a surprise because we discussed all of this, but I am perfectly happy with moissanite. Nobody can tell the difference and it has held up extremely well so far (2.5 yrs).

If you're set on diamond though, can you buy the stone and setting separately? Or is there any warehouse type place? The Jewelry Exchange advertises here (not sure if it's national) and they seem to have pretty good prices on loose diamonds and rings.

 

[Untraditional]

bluenile.com great ring wholesaler.

consignment is another great way to find a bargain. Pawn shops too. Do your research ahead of time so you know what you're buying.

 

[pkwraith]

3-months salary as a med student is $0, so anything around that range will be fine.

But on a serious note, if CZ doesn't work, just look at created diamonds. They're cheaper than mined diamonds, and technically equivilent in all the C's to naturals.

 

[watchntv]

Hello all,
I am starting M4 and have been shopping for an engagement ring. Like most M4s I don't have a ton of spare cash lying around, and I'm currently staring down the cash sucking haul known as interviews. Is there anyone out there who has been through this and has any enlightenment on how to afford this AND interviews?
Thanks


PS- a CZ is NOT an option... my girl could smell that a mile away

find a better girl
you are entering a really good paying occupation and your future wife is going to worry about a ring?
go talk to someone with experience and age that you lack and you'll find that a ring is a waste of money.
marriage isnt about love, love's just hormones and illogical also what makes someone faithful?
could it be that marriage/monogamous relationships are similar to dieting?


Being 'in love' simply isn't a lasting or true emotion and that the concept of a 'soul mate' is a cute, but manufactured myth. as a serial monogamist I've been passionately 'in love' several time with several "soulmates"......for a number of months anyhow.

I don't see things this way anymore. It's a completely unrealistic charade to try and keep up for the rest of your life with someone. I honestly think it gets in the way of true love and appreciation for your partner.

so before you spend time being married, you are going to blow how much cash on a ring, and on a "party".....wait till you are at least 30, before getting married, IF you get married

 

[cpants]

I vote against CZ or fake diamonds. A tiny diamond or an alternative natural gem would be better options. I think most girls would rather explain why their diamond is so small than explain that the giant CZ equivalent of a 75K diamond is a fake. With the CZ, people will either believe you are cheap/a faker for buying a CZ or an idiot for spending that much on a ring.

 

[badasshairday]

wtf is moisannite?

 

[Jolie South]

I vote against CZ or fake diamonds. A tiny diamond or an alternative natural gem would be better options. I think most girls would rather explain why their diamond is so small than explain that the giant CZ equivalent of a 75K diamond is a fake. With the CZ, people will either believe you are cheap/a faker for buying a CZ or an idiot for spending that much on a ring.

I'm not talking about a 10 carat stone. I'm talking about something that's pretty but realistic for a non-celebrity/crazy rich person to have, which I gauge to be probably in the 1.25-1.5 carat range.

 

[kcin]

Tell your "girl" that there are more important things than a stupid rock for an ENGAGEMENT ring. Get her a decent wedding ring if she wants, but if she's so vain that she needs an expensive engagement ring then you should move on.

This whole fascination with shiny rocks is a giant derpfest on the part of women. Super serious.

 

[watchntv]

Tell your "girl" that there are more important things than a stupid rock for an ENGAGEMENT ring. Get her a decent wedding ring if she wants, but if she's so vain that she needs an expensive engagement ring then you should move on.

This whole fascination with shiny rocks is a giant derpfest on the part of women. Super serious.

 

[cpants]

I'm not talking about a 10 carat stone. I'm talking about something that's pretty but realistic for a non-celebrity/crazy rich person to have, which I gauge to be probably in the 1.25-1.5 carat range.

That is a pretty big stone. Even buying from a wholesaler, a 1.25 carat diamond with the lowest quality of cut, color, and clarity will cost you 6,000 dollars. For a decent stone of that size you are talking 10-15k. That's the price for the stone alone. A nice setting will be another 2-3k. So I guess my point is that it looks a little silly for a med student's fiance to have a 15-20k dollar ring on her finger. Either the student has made an amazingly poor financial decision, someone bought the ring for him, or it is fake. All 3 scenarios will put out a less than flattering impression of the person.

My choice was to go with a smaller stone of very good quality in a simple setting. The ring was beautiful and didn't break the budget. If and when we decide to upgrade the ring, the old stone is of great quality and can be incorporated into the new ring or turned into another piece of beautiful jewelry.

By the way, when I say smaller, I am not talking about something you will need to look at with a magnifying glass. Price increases exponentially with carat size. In the 0.5 - 0.75 carat range the diamonds are surprisingly affordable, and depending on cut can actually look pretty large.

 

[fahimaz7]

I'd say drop $2000 on the diamond and the setting. Get a simple band and then a .75 or something with the best cut and clarity that you can afford.

Most place will also finance it at 0% for the first 12 months as well.

 

[fahimaz7]

find a better girl
you are entering a really good paying occupation and your future wife is going to worry about a ring?
go talk to someone with experience and age that you lack and you'll find that a ring is a waste of money.
marriage isnt about love, love's just hormones and illogical also what makes someone faithful?
could it be that marriage/monogamous relationships are similar to dieting?


Being 'in love' simply isn't a lasting or true emotion and that the concept of a 'soul mate' is a cute, but manufactured myth. as a serial monogamist I've been passionately 'in love' several time with several "soulmates"......for a number of months anyhow.

I don't see things this way anymore. It's a completely unrealistic charade to try and keep up for the rest of your life with someone. I honestly think it gets in the way of true love and appreciation for your partner.

so before you spend time being married, you are going to blow how much cash on a ring, and on a "party".....wait till you are at least 30, before getting married, IF you get married

There's a lot of guys that don't want to give their future wife a fake diamond. Lets be serious, it's $2000 or so to put a REAL ring on her finger, and we take out $200,000 for our medical education.

Poney up and buy a ring that you'll be proud of.

 

[Geekchick921]

That is a pretty big stone. Even buying from a wholesaler, a 1.25 carat diamond with the lowest quality of cut, color, and clarity will cost you 6,000 dollars. For a decent stone of that size you are talking 10-15k. That's the price for the stone alone. A nice setting will be another 2-3k. So I guess my point is that it looks a little silly for a med student's fiance to have a 15-20k dollar ring on her finger. Either the student has made an amazingly poor financial decision, someone bought the ring for him, or it is fake. All 3 scenarios will put out a less than flattering impression of the person.

My choice was to go with a smaller stone of very good quality in a simple setting. The ring was beautiful and didn't break the budget. If and when we decide to upgrade the ring, the old stone is of great quality and can be incorporated into the new ring or turned into another piece of beautiful jewelry.

By the way, when I say smaller, I am not talking about something you will need to look at with a magnifying glass. Price increases exponentially with carat size. In the 0.5 - 0.75 carat range the diamonds are surprisingly affordable, and depending on cut can actually look pretty large.

I think the numbers in your first paragraph are a bit inflated but I agree with the rest of what you said.

I'd say drop $2000 on the diamond and the setting. Get a simple band and then a .75 or something with the best cut and clarity that you can afford.

Most place will also finance it at 0% for the first 12 months as well.

This would be my suggestion as well. A simple gold band will "only" set you back a few hundred dollars, then you can spend the rest on a nice center stone.

Example: $400 white gold band. $1760 0.73 carat diamond that looks nice in the Virtual Loupe. Total - $2160. Here's an example of a diamond that size in a ring. Timeless. And honestly, you could probably find a gold band for less than that and just buy the diamond online if you wanted.

If you're set on diamond though, can you buy the stone and setting separately? Or is there any warehouse type place? The Jewelry Exchange advertises here (not sure if it's national) and they seem to have pretty good prices on loose diamonds and rings.

I think they have numerous locations nationwide. My husband got my ring at a Jewerly Exchange place outside of Philadelphia.

 

[metallica81788]

There's a lot of guys that don't want to give their future wife a fake diamond. Lets be serious, it's $2000 or so to put a REAL ring on her finger, and we take out $200,000 for our medical education.

Poney up and buy a ring that you'll be proud of.

Word. This was my mindset. I wanted to buy a real diamond and went for a modest carat size and a great stone. It was expensive at the time, but it didn't break my budget and is really not much in the grand scheme of loans.

 

[Jolie South]

There's a lot of guys that don't want to give their future wife a fake diamond. Lets be serious, it's $2000 or so to put a REAL ring on her finger, and we take out $200,000 for our medical education.

Poney up and buy a ring that you'll be proud of.

I personally wouldn't be proud of a $2000 diamond, but maybe that's just me.

 

[KKat]

Frankly I would feel guilty if I made my bf buy me a diamond in your situation...

If she is insistant on getting a real diamond plan on getting an awesome one for her in the future when you can afford it instead of spending a fortune on one now. I think it is irrational for you to spend on a real diamond when you can't afford it... and even more irrational if that is what she expects. If she dosen't understand that then I would reconsider marrying her. Just my opinion.

I don't get this female diamond fetish... That being said I could care less about getting married as well. Just my opinion.

 

[Cookie Queen]

I think sticking to real diamonds is best, just seems more sincere. But that doesn't mean it has to be a huge rock. I have a friend who recently got engaged who bought an antique ring at an estate sale. The ring is beautiful and unique (delicate filagree rather than the gaudy rocks you normally see today) and his fiance loves that it has years of love behind it. If she's the sentimental type that might be a nice option. Congrats!

 

[Halcyon03]

Forget about the ring, drop two grand on bottle service with your best friends. Have a great night. Enjoy your life after medical school and residency for a few years.

 

[cushie]

.

 

[Narmerguy]

I personally wouldn't be proud of a $2000 diamond, but maybe that's just me.

As in $2,000 for a diamond isn't that much or as in you wouldn't feel proud of some stone?

My perspective: $2,000 isn't that much as far as diamond rings go...

 

[Jolie South]

As in $2,000 for a diamond isn't that much or as in you wouldn't feel proud of some stone?

My perspective: $2,000 isn't that much as far as diamond rings go...

I feel like if you can't afford a respectable diamond (and to me that's at least a carat), you shouldn't buy one at all. I'd just as soon have my fiance (though I'm already married) buy a fake stone or a ring of some sort without a diamond and save the cash. No one has an extra $2000-3000 lying around in med school.

 

[surftheiop]

I got my fiance a cool looking band with an aquamarine cut to be the size of what would be a 1 carat diamond. It was about 1/4 the price of if I went for the same size diamond on a plain band, but instead she gets a band she really liked and a stone thats her favorite color. She has had it for almost a year and couldn't be happier.

 

[justaregularmed]

I had lots of good advice here for the OP but I would recommend doing about 50-100 hours of research about buying diamonds because I promise you, with 100% certainty you WILL be ripped off otherwise. (Go into it like you're buying a used car, for proper frame of reference)

My only advice. With GIA and AGS you will know what you are getting. EGL is a crap shoot and you get what you pay for.

 

[kraskadva]

More classy than hitting up the recently bereaved- have someone else do it for you.

Seriously though, it your girl is into more retro/vintage styles, this could be a better way to go. Antique stores normally buy the "estates" for quite cheap when the family wants to get rid of all the stuff, and then can sell it for less.

I personally got mine at one (.75 caret sapphire set in silver) for the bargain price of $10. (though that's really a fluke- my husband and I were shopping together and I think the owner made us a deal, because it was really obvious we were looking for an engagement ring)
However, I have done a lot of antique shopping in the past and have seen many lovely rings with large stones (diamonds and others) for under $1000. And antique stores are usually willing to negotiate.

 

[engineeredout]

I'm not ready to get engaged yet, but my father keeps offering to give me a loan for a ring that I can pay back when I'm not making -40K/year. Borrowing money from family (parents, rich uncle) is probably a lot better than putting it on a credit card that you're stuck with for years to come.

Speaking of which, anyone else's parents pestering them about getting married? I would have never believed that 24 was old enough to start getting nagged about it. The subtle hints are just awkward as ****. "Oh you'll understand when you guys have kids". "You know, your father and I were around your age when we got married" etc...

 

[DrYoda]

Speaking of which, anyone else's parents pestering them about getting married? I would have never believed that 24 was old enough to start getting nagged about it. The subtle hints are just awkward as ****. "Oh you'll understand when you guys have kids". "You know, your father and I were around your age when we got married" etc...

Yep. I'm even back to single now and it hasn't let up. Every time I talk to my parents they manage to slide something about grandkids into the conversation.

 

[Impromptu]

Go for Moissanite. It is nearly as hard as diamond (2nd or 3rd hardest stone). It has more sparkles and fire than diamonds. Every moissanite is of a consistent quality, originally only found on meteorites, now there is a lab version of making it. You get a huge stone for much cheaper than a diamond. You show that you have balls to go against desperate marketing forces.

Watch the movie "Blood Diamond" with your soon to be fiance before buying a stone. Broach the topic directly after the movie. She will be so horrified at the devastation that our market drive obsession with diamonds has unleashed that you will easily be able to convince her to go with Moissanite.

 

[badasshairday]

Go for Moissanite. It is nearly as hard as diamond (2nd or 3rd hardest stone). It has more sparkles and fire than diamonds. Every moissanite is of a consistent quality, originally only found on meteorites, now there is a lab version of making it. You get a huge stone for much cheaper than a diamond. You show that you have balls to go against desperate marketing forces.

Watch the movie "Blood Diamond" with your soon to be fiance before buying a stone. Broach the topic directly after the movie. She will be so horrified at the devastation that our market drive obsession with diamonds has unleashed that you will easily be able to convince her to go with Moissanite.

Do moissanite have the same rep as CZ stones, in terms of being "fake diamonds"? Or are they more their own type of stone?

Like you say, "Baby, will you marry me?" and slip her the ring. She asks you about it a few days later, "How many carot's is this diamond, so I can tell my friends when they ask!"

Do you say...
A)"It is moissanite, better than a diamond"
B)"It is a 1 carot diamond"
C)"Um, I forgot"

 

[Hurricane95]

http://www.costco.com/diamondengagementrings

 

[operaman]

I have a few suggestions having just gone through the whole buying a ring ordeal myself. Overall you do get what you pay for and can't expect to save that much going through non-traditional routes. I did a TON of research and found that for similar quality, prices only varied 10-20% between vendors. The only chance of landing some really awesome deal is if you find someone who just doesn't know what they have, but that is hard to do and may take more time than you're willing to wait.

I looked into moissanite but personally didn't like the look of it. They've done some brilliant marketing, but there's a color tint that I found off-putting. Some people really like them though and if your fiance is one of those people, you can probably save 40-50% off a comparable diamond.

My best advice would be to go visit some high end jewelers by yourself and get familiar with what top quality diamonds look like in your price range. Even if you don't find something you like/can afford right now, you'll have a sense of what awesome quality looks like and can compare when you're looking at pawn shops or estate sales. There's a LOT more to diamonds than the 4 C's, but once you've looked at some top-tier stones, you will have something by which to measure the others.

I wouldn't be afraid of slightly smaller stones either since the actual size differences between them are not as drammatic as you might think. There are major price per carat jumps at .25, .5, and 1.0 ct marks, but .1 ct is almost imperceptible unless you're holding 2 stones next to each other. .5 ct might sound on the small side, but when it's on her hand and not in a case next to a 2.0ct stone, it looks pretty good. Definitely doesn't look like a "sorry for knocking you up in high school" sort of ring!

Also, many high-end jewelers will let you upgrade the stone in the future, so this might be an option as well. I've known many people whose diamonds were "fertilized" over the years as income levels grew, and buying from a known vendor insures that they'll be around later to assist you with going from the 2k to the 20k rock. Also, buying from a Tiffanys or someplace similar basically sets you for life with where to go for birthday and aniversary gifts because everything that comes in that packaging will be sentimental and harken back to this time when it all started.

Good luck in your search and I'm sure she'll love whatever you decide on!