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AryaStark

AryaStark

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What would you do if your advisor/ professor friended you on facebook? I'm thinking putting this person on a limited profile. How would you address it? I feel like I'm back in ethics class...:scared:
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I would probably accept the friend request but like you said, only allowing him/her limited access to your profile. As a matter of fact, I created a special friend group on facebook who can't see my entire profile (i.e. comments, or things I am a "fan" of or that I "like".)
 
AryaStark said:
What would you do if your advisor/ professor friended you on facebook? I'm thinking putting this person on a limited profile. How would you address it? I feel like I'm back in ethics class...:scared:
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This has also happened to me! It is really an awkward situation to be in, on the one hand you don't want to accept them because you don't really want them to see too much of your personal life outside of school and on the other you don't want to deny the request... Although I struggled with the decision (not too long, it is just facebook and not a life altering decision), I put them on a really restricted list (no access to pictures etc..). That being said, I have also tried really hard to restrict the information available on Facebook anyway... so if I forgot to restrict something, they really aren't going to get that much info anyway
 
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The bigger issue here is the questionable professionalism of this professor. I am sure it is against school policy for professors/advisors to do this. I would make sure someone in a position of power is aware of the situation and that you plan to accept the invitation; you are in a position with a significant power differential and it is risky to not accept.
 
stigmata said:
The bigger issue here is the questionable professionalism of this professor. I am sure it is against school policy for professors/advisors to do this. I would make sure someone in a position of power is aware of the situation and that you plan to accept the invitation; you are in a position with a significant power differential and it is risky to not accept.
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Actually, I wouldn't be surprised if school policy doesn't even address this kind of stuff. In my experience, schools have been a little bit slow to adjust policies to accommodate the shifts towards social networking via the internet. Our program just started talking about adding something to our student handbook about behavior online this year!

That said, I also think every school has a different norms for socializing. Some school consider the relationship between grad students and professors to be one that is collegial, other schools have a pretty strict hierarchy where the power differential is more of an issue.... either way it still seems like it could be an awkward and difficult situation.
 
Right away I can think of 4 faculty members in the department here that are facebook friends with most of the graduate students. I don't worry too much about it because my facebook profile is very tame anyhow. There's nothing in our university or program rules that prohibits this. They have, however, started lecturing students each fall about making sure their myspace and facebook profiles are set to private.
 
I put my advisor on my limited profile list after he would comment on my status updates (i.e. saying I was going to my undergrad and Denver, and he replied I hope you are working on your thesis, etc). He didn't realize Denver was for SRCD that year. He's not serious or uptight about things, but it was weird!
 
stigmata said:
The bigger issue here is the questionable professionalism of this professor. I am sure it is against school policy for professors/advisors to do this. I would make sure someone in a position of power is aware of the situation and that you plan to accept the invitation; you are in a position with a significant power differential and it is risky to not accept.
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I am in a similar situation, except other military officers in my field of varying ranks have access. I scrubbed my profile of any information and now have the worlds most boring facebook page.

Mark
 
This is a great question for which there is no right answer.
 
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I find it bizarre that a professor / advisor would consider friending a current student or supervisee appropriate.

As a personal rule, I consider it appropriate to friend someone after they are no longer my student, or a student at my institution (even if I'm no longer supervising or teaching them). But definitely not during.
 
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DrGero said:
I find it bizarre that a professor / advisor would consider friending a current student or supervisee appropriate.

As a personal rule, I consider it appropriate to friend someone after they are no longer my student, or a student at my institution (even if I'm no longer supervising or teaching them). But definitely not during.
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Yes, they need to check them selves against our code of ethics...IE, dual relationships.
 
Bumping this thread to see if/how people's opinions have changed on this, especially given our rather interesting recent discussion about drinking with faculty.*

In both my current program and in my masters program, it's extremely common for people to be FB friends with faculty, even their advisors, as students. Personally, I'm not friends with my advisors but am friends with two of my current faculty, plus one former faculty who moved onto another institution, as well as two from my masters program (friended after I left). It does kind of seem... unnecessary, though, to friend current faculty. My Facebook is pretty tame, but do my faculty really need or want to know my opinions on Youtube videos/news articles/etc.? On a semi-related note, however, it is fascinating to see which faculty are--and aren't--"friends" with each other.

*For interthreaduality: If you go drinking with your faculty, should you post those pictures on Facebook and tag them? ;) I couldn't help myself from asking that, sorry!
 
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My take on this is to go the conservative route--don't friend anyone you're currently supervising/teaching. As you've said, it gives a peek into potentially very private aspects of both the supervisor and supervisee's lives, and can quickly blur professional boundaries.
 
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I'll chime in here from the faculty side. First, I never send students friend requests. It puts them in an awkward position. Next, I never accept friend requests from undergraduate students. I get them all the time. I reject them, and send them a message stating that I will gladly accept their request when they're done with school. Graduate students are a little different. I view them as junior colleagues, so I'm okay accepting requests from them. I tell all graduate students up front that I will not send them a friend request (for the reason above), but that I am willing to accept their request if they want to send me one. I also make it clear that I do not care one way or the other if we are FB friends, and that if they are my FB friend they should be prepared to see some fairly liberal things that they would not otherwise see from me in the classroom/lab. If they don't want to see these things they should not friend me. Also, if they don't want me commenting on their racist/sexist/bigoted (yeah I've seen it) comments, they should hide them from me, not post them, or perhaps not send the request in the first place (of course, bigotry doesn't look like bigotry from the inside). On a side note, I'm clinical and also get them from patients, which I refuse to accept and which we talk about in session. I am FB friends with some graduate students that I supervise. It has never been an issue. I was FB friends with several of my supervisors in grad school and it wasn't an issue. Bottom line is clearly established boundaries I think.
 
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I should clarify that I don't think there's anything definitively or inherently wrong with friending a graduate student you're supervising, just that my statement above is my stance on the subject. For me, it's easier to avoid it until the supervisor-supervisee role is no longer in place; it's also the route most of my supervisors have taken, so I'm more familiar with it personally.

Edit: And definitely agreed RE: undergrad students and patients.
 
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I don't FB friend any students, interns, fellows, or 99% of my colleagues. I also don't post anything on FB that I'd be embarrassed to admit I posted. I think ResearchGate, LinkedIn, and similar are more appropriate for anyone I've trained or who are colleagues; I'll accept a request in those mediums. I prefer to keep my personal life with my professional life separate, though in some cases it isn't an issue, as long as the person is done with training and isn't a direct report.
 
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AcronymAllergy said:
My take on this is to go the conservative route--don't friend anyone you're currently supervising/teaching. As you've said, it gives a peak into potentially very private aspects of both the supervisor and supervisee's lives, and can quickly blur professional boundaries.
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Agreed, my FB profile is highly restricted. Partially due to this, and partially because I've done with with Borderline PD in the past, and some of those patients like to snoop.
 
I'm glad this thread was rejuvenated! My mentor friended me on facebook after I left for internship. It took me about 2 weeks to respond to the request (I should have chimed in here to ask what you all thought!) I ended up accepting the friend request but made it very limited. I am pretty comfortable with what I post on facebook, but my biggest concern was what others sometimes post to me so I set my profile such that my mentor can only see what I post (and not others) and then set is so that others don't post immediately to my wall; I need to approve it first. It's nice to get to keep up with my mentor on a more personal level, but I don't think it would have been appropriate while I was still a graduate student.
 
PsychPsyance said:
I'll chime in here from the faculty side. First, I never send students friend requests. It puts them in an awkward position. Next, I never accept friend requests from undergraduate students. I get them all the time. I reject them, and send them a message stating that I will gladly accept their request when they're done with school. Graduate students are a little different. I view them as junior colleagues, so I'm okay accepting requests from them. I tell all graduate students up front that I will not send them a friend request (for the reason above), but that I am willing to accept their request if they want to send me one. I also make it clear that I do not care one way or the other if we are FB friends, and that if they are my FB friend they should be prepared to see some fairly liberal things that they would not otherwise see from me in the classroom/lab. If they don't want to see these things they should not friend me. Also, if they don't want me commenting on their racist/sexist/bigoted (yeah I've seen it) comments, they should hide them from me, not post them, or perhaps not send the request in the first place (of course, bigotry doesn't look like bigotry from the inside). On a side note, I'm clinical and also get them from patients, which I refuse to accept and which we talk about in session. I am FB friends with some graduate students that I supervise. It has never been an issue. I was FB friends with several of my supervisors in grad school and it wasn't an issue. Bottom line is clearly established boundaries I think.
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My policy as a faculty member is pretty much exactly this. I will never actively "friend" a student or former student. I accept friend requests from undergraduates only after they have graduated, and from graduate students when they are initiated from the student. With graduate students I mentor (e.g., in my lab), I have my Facebook policy clearly written out in my "advising guidelines" document, with the clear understanding that I don't care if they friend me or not, or if they have their own policy (e.g., one of my students does not want to be my Facebook friend until after completion of the PhD), that the power of the Friending is with them because I know the power of our dynamic is more with me. I also tell them upfront that if they ever change their mind and want to UN-friend me, that's also perfectly fine and I will never ask them about it or make a comment about it.

I am personally Facebook friends with a host of former undergraduate students, several former faculty and supervisors, and some current graduate students. And my parents---that one took me a lot longer to agree to than the student/supervisor ones, which probably says something about me......
 
I socialize with several of my colleagues and my old internship director. I still would not do this. There is no reason to blur professional boundaries. You do not need a professor or colleague attributing a some social thing to an your work performance, correct or otherwise.

There is nothing good that can come from this.
 
I generally avoid facebook friending - with the exception of some colleagues who I don't care if they see my family photos.

A point that hasn't been made that I'll quickly make is that some universities are actually pressuring faculty to connect with students on social media. The thought is that since students are immersed in social media, we should meet them where they are at and use it as a tool for instruction when it is appropriate. My university encourages us to have professional facebook/twitter accounts, although I've appeased them with just LinkedIn so far, thankfully. I think it's silly to pressure people into unless people actually are into it themselves. I could see some possible applications with undergraduate students, but mostly I think this is just an example of higher ed going too far to bend over backwards and cater to the young'uns.
 
I look at my Facebook as a public venue. I don't post anything that I would be uncomfortable with people knowing. Nevertheless, I only accept friend requests from people I would socialize with in real life. It can include coworkers or colleagues and former students that I have a mentor relationship with.
 
stigmata said:
The bigger issue here is the questionable professionalism of this professor. I am sure it is against school policy for professors/advisors to do this. I would make sure someone in a position of power is aware of the situation and that you plan to accept the invitation; you are in a position with a significant power differential and it is risky to not accept.
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Thumbs up...
 
Interesting that a social media site connection between students and faculty is considered by some to be so taboo but a cocktail party is not.
 
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Glad I live in the stone age (no Facebook for Mog. Mog is scared by your flashing magic boxes)
 
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smalltownpsych said:
Interesting that a social media site connection between students and faculty is considered by some to be so taboo but a cocktail party is not.
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Eh, based on that thread, I don't think that's necessarily the case. That thread started out "yeah, drink with faculty!" but ended as "no, don't drink with faculty!" Plus, FB can tell you a lot about someone regularly and isn't just a one-off thing, like a party.
 
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futureapppsy2 said:
Eh, based on that thread, I don't think that's necessarily the case. That thread started out "yeah, drink with faculty!" but ended as "no, don't drink with faculty!" Plus, FB can tell you a lot about someone regularly and isn't just a one-off thing, like a party.
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I wasn't saying that there was a consensus on either of the perspectives, and was just wondering if the anti Facebook people are the same as the anti cocktail party people. I also agree with your logic that connecting on Facebook is more personal than meeting in a public setting and I treat it the same way.
 
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smalltownpsych said:
I wasn't saying that there was a consensus on either of the perspectives, and was just wondering if the anti Facebook people are the same as the anti cocktail party people. I also agree with your logic that connecting on Facebook is more personal than meeting in a public setting and I treat it the same way.
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That's my take as well, although I'd imagine different people treat Facebook differently. In my case, I'm generally only "friends" with folks I'd recurrently hang out with in real life, and whom I would thus consider friends rather than solely professional colleagues.

Co-workers that I often see outside of work? Sure. A boss with whom I typically only interact as an employee, even if often informally? Nope.
 
Wow this is a good conversation! Since I just transferred to a different undergrad college, I have friended some of my professors from that college on facebook but that's all. I do not message them or contact them unless I either need they opinion on something or just want to update them on what I have been up to at my new college. My fellow classmates there is a whole another ball game. I regularly interact with them through facebook groups (in which my old college's marketing department made a class of 2018 facebook page) and by chatting with them. I try to keep it professional with my professors and personal with my friends (which is also why I made a LinkedIn account [which is awesome!!] to keep in contact with my current professors or any mentors or people I meet in the field)
 
PsychMajorUndergrad18 said:
Wow this is a good conversation! Since I just transferred to a different undergrad college, I have friended some of my professors from that college on facebook but that's all. I do not message them or contact them unless I either need they opinion on something or just want to update them on what I have been up to at my new college. My fellow classmates there is a whole another ball game. I regularly interact with them through facebook groups (in which my old college's marketing department made a class of 2018 facebook page) and by chatting with them. I try to keep it professional with my professors and personal with my friends (which is also why I made a LinkedIn account [which is awesome!!] to keep in contact with my current professors or any mentors or people I meet in the field)
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Uhh... why not just email them? Why add the Facebook layer?
 
Well at the time I was at a small Christian university and everyone had they professors on facebook
 
PsychMajorUndergrad18 said:
Well at the time I was at a small Christian university and everyone had they professors on facebook
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I'm not sure why being at a 1) small or 2) Christian university has anything to do with Facebook.
I'd still wonder why adding the extra layer is helpful.
 
futureapppsy2 said:
On a variation of this theme, my professor's teenage kid sent me a FB friend request. Not sure how to respond to that.
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I personally would not accept that request. Too few degrees of separation. I'm usually weary of accepting any requests from folks under 21 yo b/c I sometimes like to comment on or 'like' my FB friends' adult-content posts. And if I had a younger audience I would feel it was inappropriate. After all, it is social media, and can be fun.
 
The same. I personally make it a rule to know all my FB friends in-person, and have some sort of real relationship with them. But that’s my choice, other people may not want the same from social media.

I only friended one person before meeting (b/c I figured we met...we had so many mutual FB friends - otherwise why would he send me a request, right?) and when we met, I was like "I don't know you?" DO I? And we had actually never met until that moment. Awkward. I had been liking his family pictures and funny memes for months. And I'm married...so I was definitely not flirting by these particular online/social media behaviors.

Now, I send people a message back and say “Hey, I don’t know you, do I?” :eyebrow: I suppose this is great way to combat online predators.
 
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