Failed pharmacy final exam now internship is delayed for a year.. How do i stop feeling sorry for my

[Pharmacygirlja101]

Non US pharmacy student here...so I've always been an average to above average student throughout my life, but ever since I started pharmacy its been kicking my butt..this has put a big blow to my self confidence. I've been passing everything up to final year but I ended up failing an important exam which resulted in my internship being pushed back an entire year...I'm currently working as a technician until I can start in September..but with all this 'free' time I can't help regretting not passing the first time and I feel as if this feeling will follow me the rest of my life...I feel so mediocre and dumb.. Quite a few people failed from my class.but the majority passed...but I keep thinking I should not b one of those who failed as I was always a high achiever..I admit adjusting to university life was hard for me..balancing a social life and school work was not so easy...many times I felt very lonely as my social life was not so great. I keep regretting everything...I should've studied more...I should ve hung around more focused my students...what can I do to stop myself from thinking this way?

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[adehaded]

Hang in there dear.. The fact that you made it this far speaks volume. Pharmacy school is no joke, so don't be too hard on yourself. Use this time to study hard and work, and most importantly pray to God if you're a believer. I do believe that everything happens for a reason, which you might not understand now until later. Look on the bright side, you might end up getting a better job than your classmates who graduated before you..
Ps: I'm also an international first year pharmacy student.

 

[Pharmacygirlja101]

Hang in there dear.. The fact that you made it this far speaks volume. Pharmacy school is no joke, so don't be too hard on yourself. Use this time to study hard and work, and most importantly pray to God if you're a believer. I do believe that everything happens for a reason, which you might not understand now until later. Look on the bright side, you might end up getting a better job than your classmates who graduated before you..
Ps: I'm also an international first year pharmacy student.

 

[Pharmacygirlja101]

Thanks so much for your reply. I'm starting to think a little more clearly and positively about this all. .im just dying for September to come so i can stop feeling like I'm 'in limbo' ....just trying to keep my head up and work on my confidence

 

[MindGeek]

Hang in there.
Focus on the positives of the situation:

• You didn't fail a rotation, you failed a class. Preceptors would much rather have someone who failed and retook P&T/D&D successfully than someone who failed an APPE.
• Remember classroom performance does not equal job performance. Being an APPE is a full time job, and it requires a completely different skill set than memorization and test taking.
• Your new classmates will all be jealous of you. You'll have a lighter schedule than they do and only failed by a couple points. They are starting from scratch.
• If your progression committee is only requiring you to retake in one year you are very lucky. They could require you to resign from all leadership posts, quit all clubs, and maintain a certain GPA.
• Try taking classes at your school's MBA, MPH, or MS program. That way if you can handle it and get dual enrolled you'll be that 'dual student' instead of that student that 'got left back.' Plus you'll never drop below full time so you can still be on the school's health insurance and keep your in school loan deferment.
• Most of the partying at my school at least was done during P1 year anyway. Your social life is gone but it would've been anyway.
• It's not about studying more, it's about studying smart. Think hard about how you studied. Was it active studying or passive? Were you working the entire weekend before each test or did you have the time completely off?

If you failed an exit exam and have everything done except for APPEs some of those don't apply but still hang in there. Plus you said it yourself that you're not alone.

 

[Pharmacygirlja101]

Hang in there.
Focus on the positives of the situation:

• You didn't fail a rotation, you failed a class. Preceptors would much rather have someone who failed and retook P&T/D&D successfully than someone who failed an APPE.
• Remember classroom performance does not equal job performance. Being an APPE is a full time job, and it requires a completely different skill set than memorization and test taking.
• Your new classmates will all be jealous of you. You'll have a lighter schedule than they do and only failed by a couple points. They are starting from scratch.
• If your progression committee is only requiring you to retake in one year you are very lucky. They could require you to resign from all leadership posts, quit all clubs, and maintain a certain GPA.
• Try taking classes at your school's MBA, MPH, or MS program. That way if you can handle it and get dual enrolled you'll be that 'dual student' instead of that student that 'got left back.' Plus you'll never drop below full time so you can still be on the school's health insurance and keep your in school loan deferment.
• Most of the partying at my school at least was done during P1 year anyway. Your social life is gone but it would've been anyway.
• It's not about studying more, it's about studying smart. Think hard about how you studied. Was it active studying or passive? Were you working the entire weekend before each test or did you have the time completely off?

If you failed an exit exam and have everything done except for APPEs some of those don't apply but still hang in there. Plus you said it yourself that you're not alone.

 

[Pharmacygirlja101]

Thanks for your support I redid the course already...so im finished with the degree portion of pharmacy....just waiting to start internship in September..working as a technician has really opened up my eyes to all the possibilities. .but u know, every once in a while I feel bad that I'm set back for a year...thanks for your kind words

 

[MindGeek]

Thanks for your support I redid the course already...so im finished with the degree portion of pharmacy....just waiting to start internship in September..working as a technician has really opened up my eyes to all the possibilities. .but u know, every once in a while I feel bad that I'm set back for a year...thanks for your kind words

See, you've already passed the retake! You're just caught up in a scheduling technicality now.

Focus on building a great peripheral brain that will help you speed through decisions/questions on APPEs so you won't have to look everything up on Lexi or your old lecture notes. Preceptors hate hearing I'll get back to you on that but love organized students who have great tables and charts and have made at a glance references for themselves. Look at this extra time as time to build an awesome P-brain for your lab coat so you can hit the ground running day one of APPEs.

 

[Pharmacygirlja101]

See, you've already passed the retake! You're just caught up in a scheduling technicality now.

Focus on building a great peripheral brain that will help you speed through decisions/questions on APPEs so you won't have to look everything up on Lexi or your old lecture notes. Preceptors hate hearing I'll get back to you on that but love organized students who have great tables and charts and have made at a glance references for themselves. Look at this extra time as time to build an awesome P-brain for your lab coat so you can hit the ground running day one of APPEs.

Will do

 

[Lubeckd]

I dont think more schooling is the answer. Why dont you try going on vacation to rediscover what you truly want in life? If your brain is fighting pharmacy, maybe its not right for you. By fighting I mean resistance, tired from the reading in a hour, or you are not enjoying it.
Take a step back, learn some other important things in life, pharmacy isnt everything. Plus you still have another chance

 

[Pharmacygirlja101]

I dont think more schooling is the answer. Why dont you try going on vacation to rediscover what you truly want in life? If your brain is fighting pharmacy, maybe its not right for you. By fighting I mean resistance, tired from the reading in a hour, or you are not enjoying it.
Take a step back, learn some other important things in life, pharmacy isnt everything. Plus you still have another chance

i think i've done enough of that already...don't want to waste anymore time..i didnt do pharmacy directly after after high school, i did one year of a biology degree, then i switched to pharmacy because i thought it better suited me..and now i've completed my degree since December 5, but i'm still 'in limbo' waiting around for my internship to start...So i've had a lot of time to 'think', but honestly i don't really see myself doing anything else...i admit this wasn't my dream job, but in fact i never really had a dream job, i just found pharmacy and liked it.
I know pharmacy isn't everything, but you know sometimes you just feel down on yourself, the fact that most people graduate University at 22 or 23, and I'm here graduating at 25.
(by the way i'm doing the Bachelor of Pharmacy, where i'm from the Doctor of Pharmacy isn't a requirement to be a pharmacist.)

 

[Lubeckd]

Failure isnt the end of the road. You define it and make it so. Try to look for the positive in the negative. And negative in the positive. Make the most out of the time you have right now, in learning other things.

For me, getting this degree means everything I ever wanted, wasnt what I wanted at all, I came out of this only knowing pharmacy, I lose many "time" not learning how to cook, public speaking (good for customers) make drinks in case I meet someone in the future. This is my negative in the positive. There is so much out there in the world, so much to learn. Dont just be a human ATM when you come out.

I am saying Travel because that is where you are getting out of your comfort zone and you will become more confident as you go to somewhere new tackle different situations.
I dont know if you are from the USA or in a captialism society, but true captialism is failing many times and taking risks. You went into pharmacy school taking a risk, but did it anyways.

For now, just learn where you made the mistake, identify it and change. I know how hard it is for you right now, because a large part of your identity is Pharmacy, as you fail you lost that identity. I went through a similiar situtation in not knowing what I wanted to do.

I suggest taking some time off, to do a Gap year or months. Remember as only USA does not do this, but Europe does
https://college.harvard.edu/admissions/preparing-college/should-i-take-time

Remember that insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. - Albert Einstein

No worries, its not a race in the end. I hope you find your dream job one day, that is the one where you can make the most money. I would say because you gone through more, you learned more, how to handle loss. People that can handle lost are more different than those who dont. No one is perfect

Edit: Realized you are coming back in September, this post was meant for long term not wasting time. For short term, I would say just identify area where you need to improve and apply change to it. The wise person adapts to the world and doesnt let the world adapt to it.

 

[Pharmacygirlja101]

Failure isnt the end of the road. You define it and make it so. Try to look for the positive in the negative. And negative in the positive. Make the most out of the time you have right now, in learning other things.

For me, getting this degree means everything I ever wanted, wasnt what I wanted at all, I came out of this only knowing pharmacy, I lose many "time" not learning how to cook, public speaking (good for customers) make drinks in case I meet someone in the future. This is my negative in the positive. There is so much out there in the world, so much to learn. Dont just be a human ATM when you come out.

I am saying Travel because that is where you are getting out of your comfort zone and you will become more confident as you go to somewhere new tackle different situations.
I dont know if you are from the USA or in a captialism society, but true captialism is failing many times and taking risks. You went into pharmacy school taking a risk, but did it anyways.

For now, just learn where you made the mistake, identify it and change. I know how hard it is for you right now, because a large part of your identity is Pharmacy, as you fail you lost that identity. I went through a similiar situtation in not knowing what I wanted to do.

I suggest taking some time off, to do a Gap year or months. Remember as only USA does not do this, but Europe does
https://college.harvard.edu/admissions/preparing-college/should-i-take-time

Remember that insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. - Albert Einstein

No worries, its not a race in the end. I hope you find your dream job one day, that is the one where you can make the most money. I would say because you gone through more, you learned more, how to handle loss. People that can handle lost are more different than those who dont. No one is perfect

Edit: Realized you are coming back in September, this post was meant for long term not wasting time. For short term, I would say just identify area where you need to improve and apply change to it. The wise person adapts to the world and doesnt let the world adapt to it.

Kk, I hear. ..it really is sound advice. ..all you're saying makes a lot if sense. ..im trying to take it one day at a time n really just try to enjoy myself. ..I'll get over this feeling. ..just need to stop comparing myself to others

 

[Lubeckd]

Im glad to help . Dont fight the feeling, accept it and learn from it, its the only way to get over it.

Most people are too busy worrying about providing for their family then worry about if you are 25 and get a Pharmacy Degree.
Of course here is a motivational post for today. Thomas Edison who failed 10,000 times until he invented the lightbulb